A.N. I'm baaaa-aaack! And here we have the exciting bombshell and stuff! Thanks to everyone who reviewed for giving me a reason to write this stuff! Now go ahead and enjoy the cute and innuendo!

"The thing is... Well, you may be surprised at this, but... You're my son, okay?" There were a few moments of dead silence. Then Ezio burst out laughing.
"Ahahaha, Roma, seriously. I appreciate your jokes, but what is it really- Oh lord. You're not joking, are you?" Rome looked at him with a straight face, for the first time since they'd met.
"I am sorry."
"So... Who is my mother?"
"Um, yeah, the one who raised you... Look, can we not go into this?"
"... That cheating wench..." Ezio muttered darkly. Wait, so an ancient empire had done his... No. No. Disembark from that train of thought immediately. Wait, that's...
"Holy hells, I'm the son of the greatest empire the world has ever seen? No wonder I'm so awesome! Can I tell the others? Wait, will I grow up to do something weird?"
"No, you will live the life of a human, albeit an extraordinary one. I am so very proud of you, my son. And you may tell those close to you, but most people would be disconcerted to know the Great Roman Empire walks among them!" He put his hands on his hips and threw his head back, laughing heroically. But by this point Ezio had charged into the kitchen. Rome wiped his eyes, smiling.
"So like his father..."

"Leonardo, Leonardo, I'm the son of Rome!" Leo rolled his eyes.
"Yeah, nice title. Add it to your collection." He chopped an onion like he held a grudge against it. Of course Ezio would be the favourite, even though he was meant to be looking after the kid...
"It's not a title, he's my father! My real father! Well, Papa will always be my real father, he raised me, but I am the genetic son of the Roman Empire!" Leonardo blinked, as a cloud of smoke began to rise from a pot. Italy quickly grabbed the spoon and stirred it.

"Ezio Auditore de Firenze, do you mean to tell me that man out there sired you? And you are now looking after his grandson?"
"Yeah! It's like I'm Italia's real father! Although I'm not, he's a country and stuff. But yeah! And if I ever have kids of my own, I'd be delighted if they were like him..." he added quietly, with a smile. Leonardo returned it.
"Well, if it runs in the family, they may well be."
"Yeah... You want kids, Leo?" The inventor laughed.
"I didn't, but after looking after Feliz... Yeah, I wouldn't mind. They're pretty cute."
"See, this is why you need a woman in your life! If you'd just let me-"
"NO, EZIO. I do not want a girlfriend."
Italy smiled. "But then I can have two papas and two mamas!" Leonardo sighed heavily.
"Why, may I ask, is the world so bent on me getting a girlfriend? I've made it abundantly clear that I am perfectly happy as I am, and would rather you didn't interfere! I have had it up to here with people implying there's something wrong with me for not being interested in women, like it's an illness rather than who I am-!" Ezio put a hand over the now-shouting man's mouth.
"Leonardo, calm down. I just thought it might do you good to meet a nice girl rather than spending all your time in here. It's not like they bit- Um, that is to say they're perfectly harmle- Look, you'd be fine."
Rome leaned in the doorway, looking amused. So this swishy-haired man with the excellent sense of style who blushed when he smiled at him wasn't interested in women? My, why could that be the case, a handsome young man like himself... The empire chuckled. One doesn't become arguably the first global superpower by being an idiot. But acting like one helps. People are so much easier to deal with when they think you dumb. Wonder if any other nations knew this...
"So, Leonardo... Anything you're not telling us?" He grinned rougishly on the outside, and facepalmed on the inside. The problem with thinking meant that he'd forget what he was saying. And now things were going to get awkward. Damn.

The inventor blushed scarlet, but recovered himself.
"Of course there is! I am a genius, I can't explain everything I know. That would take far too long." There was a long moment, in which everyone present looked a little puzzled. Italy, of course, took it upon himself to break the silence.
"Ooooh, Papa Leo has a secret! Let's play truth or dare!" Got to love child logic. Ezio certainly does...
"Okay Leonardo, truth or dare? Truth you have to say why you get so annoyed when I try and find you a girlfriend, dare... Uh..."
"You have to kiss Grandpa Roma!" Leonardo looked terrified. Rome looked half-disturbed, half-about to burst out laughing. Ezio looked at the child like "That's my boy!"
"Fine! I choose truth!" Leo took a deep breath. "The truth is...

A.N. OMG WHAT COULD IT BE? Like none of us know... This isn't a cliffhanger for suspense, really. It's just for the sake of cliffhangers and so I can actually end this chapter because I have writers block and you guys have all been going "update!" and I'm freaking out because YOU PEOPLE LIKE MY WRITING MORRIGAN'S CHARIOT WHAT IS THIS? Yeah I'm used to writing bad (porny) one-shots don't go on my profile. Anyway, here is your update you beautiful amazing people who like my story, there will be more.
TSOM out.