"I can't believe I did that." He gently rubbed his thumb against it with a sad smile.
"Don't worry about it man, no harm done."
It was Cas's turn to chuckle.
Deans eyes softened when he heard the noise.
"No harm? Dean I split your lip open and all you have to say is no harm done?"
"Hey Cas, want to stay the night at my place tonight?"
Warnings: mentions of self harm, child abuse
Dean's pov
Dean had convinced Bobby to let him have a friend spend the night. Bobby was a little concerned about why they were both so beat up looking but Dean swiftly lied through it saying they were just rough housing.
When Bobby mentioned Sam Dean just simply said Sam had a little too much and ended up crashing at the party. Bobby just chuckled, called them idjits and went back to watching tv.
Cas was reluctant to staying the night but eventually gave in.
Dean told Castiel to lay down on the bed and get comfortable. Cas gave him a fearful look but Dean just simply explained he was going to get one of the camping cots and Castiel could sleep on the bed tonight.
Cas nodded and Dean turned and left to go into the kitchen to get a drink. As he passed the kitchen he saw Bobby snoring softly on the couch. Dean smiled fondly at the sight.
Dean knew he had to clean his knuckles and he was reluctant too but he knew it was a must. Dean went into the bathroom and grabbed a cloth, bandages, and polysporin.
He turned the water on the sink cold and watched as the water flowed. He placed his knuckles under the pure liquid and watched it turn red and a sickly brown.
Once all the blood was gone Dean could see how bad his knuckles really were.
Almost every other knuckle had a cut on it and his long slender fingers were covered in cuts also. The surrounding area was red and a disgusting yellow.
Memories of Sam's bones breaking under his skin relapsed in Deans head.
He suddenly felt very sick. He could feel a heavy heave coming over him.
He rushed over to the toilet, double over it and released what little he had in his stomach.
He gripped the toilet waiting for the awful dry heaves to stop.
When he was done he leaned against the wall and pressed his hot forehead against the cold wall. Hot tears spilled from his eyes. Sam must hate him by now and if Sam didn't hate him then Dean could hate himself enough for the two of them.
He buried his head into his hands and sobbed.
Dean must have fallen asleep sitting against the wall because when he opened his eyes it was bright out. His mouth tasted like vomit, his back hurt and his head was pounding like a son of a bitch.
Dean tried to remember what the hell actually happened last night and why he was on the floor.
He pried through his brain trying to pick out the important parts about last night. He remembered Castiel had spent the night.
Dean never came back into his room like he promised.
He jumped up and pried the door open before tumbling into his room.
Thankfully, there was a lump of blankets, pillows and what looked like another human on his bed. Dean let out a shaky sigh before going to his dresser. His alarm clock glowed 8:11 AM. He might as well have a shower.
When Dean came out of the shower, fully dressed he saw Cas was awake and reading one of Dean's car magazines on his bed. Thank god it was just a car magazine.
"Morin Sunshine!" Dean said happily. Cas looked up at Dean and his eyes widened.
Dean eye's narrowed at this "What?"
"N-nothing." Cas mummered looking away.
Dean gave him a weird look before going to sit beside Castiel on the bed.
"Do you want to have a shower?" Cas nodded.
"Alright, uh want to borrow some clothes?" Again, Castiel just nodded.
"Okay just gimme a minute."
Dean looked over Cas for a few seconds before deciding what would hopefully fit him.
Dean rifled through his messy dresser before he pulled out a simple, black long v neck and a pair of old jeans that no longer fit him.
"If the pants don't fit, you can borrow a belt." Dean spoke.
Cas thanked him before going off into the shower.
Dean decided that Castiel was probably hungry and he should probably start to make some food. He made his way the short flight of stairs in search for something edible. On his way to the kitchen Dean noticed Bobby on his computer, probably researching something. Bobby looked up to watch Dean coming down the stairs.
"You're up pretty early." Bobby commented, eyes reverting back to the screen.
"Yeah, I just, I guess I couldnt sleep." Dean shrugged. Above them the water in the bathroom turned off leaving the only noise left was Bobby typing away at his computer.
Dean dragged his feet into the kitchen and he opened up the fridge. There wasn't much in there. Alcohol, milk, eggs, left over steak and some old shitty take out food. Dean decided on the eggs.
"Bobby you up for eggs?" Dean asked, poking his head out of the kitchen to stare at Bobby.
Bobby simply shook his head no so Dean simply grabbed 4. 2 for him 2 for Cas.
Dean got a frying pan out of the cupboard and he turned the stove on.
Footstep could be heard coming down the stairs before they padded into the kitchen.
Cas looked around curiously and sighed a breath of relief when his eyes laid on Dean.
Dean looked at Cas and his breath was taken away. His shirt revealed quite a lot of his pale looking chest. The dark black brought out Cas's eyes even more than usual. Dean's pants hung to his hips a little better than they probably should have. his lips were slightly parted and the boys hair was still wet and very messy.
Castiel looked a lot better today. His lips looked a lot better today, the cut they required yesterday was just a little red, Dean could barley even tell Cas ever had an injury there.
His eye looked a thousand times better, it was just a little black under the eye layered with yellow. The red and purple that used to reach up to his eyebrow was just a slight yellow tinted with pink.
Dean had to pry his eyes away from the other boy before he started undressing him with his eyes.
Dean coughed before he talked.
"I'm uh, making eggs want some?"
"Sure."
Dean cracked two eggs before he turned around to look at Cas who was now sitting at the very crowded kitchen table.
It was crowded with Sam's homework.
Dean felt like he just got punched in the gut. He sucked it up and put on a game face.
"So how're ya feeling today?" Dean asked trying to sound nonchalant when he was actually pretty worried for the other boy.
Cas just shrugged.
"Okay I guess, your bed is really comfortable."
Dean could almost swear Cas was blushing.
"Uh, thanks?"
Castiel put his head down and started playing with his fingers. Dean turned his attention back to the eggs. He started playing around with them in the pan, flipping them, poking them, cutting them, anything he could do to them with the spatula he did.
Bobby entered the kitchen and leaned against the door frame.
"Hey Dean?" Dean turned the stove off deciding the eggs were cooked enough and started to put them on 2 different plates
"Yeah Bobby?" He replied, his back facing Bobby as he worked.
"Do you have any idea when your brother will be home today?"
Dean stopped dead in his tracks. He nearly dropped the plate he had in his hands.
He took in a deep shaky breath.
"Um I dunno, he never told me." Dean hated lying especially to Bobby. Bobby had given the boys so much and here Dean was lying right to his face. Dean was just a pussy and couldn't fucking man up.
Dean collected himself and brought the plates over to the table, setting one in front of Cas and one in front of himself.
"Okay, well, just let him know his teacher called me yesterday, she said if he keeps up the good work he'll make honor roll."
Dean smiled sadly for his little brother.
"Okay Bobby, I'll let him know."
Booby walked over to the counter and poured a tall glass of clear water for himself before sitting with the boys.
"I don't believe we met properly last night. Dean was in such a damn fuss he basically dragged you up stairs." Bobby scowled at Dean and Dean looked away, embarrassed.
"I'm Bobby." With that Bobby stuck his hand out over the old, crowded table.
"I am Castiel Novak." Castiel replied in a small voice trying not to let it break.
Bobby had a strong, firm grip and they briefly shook hands before Bobby released Castiel's smaller hand. Bobby eyed him wearily but turned to Dean.
"So what are you guys going to do today?"
"We have no idea." Dean chuckled.
Bobby looked between the two of them before grabbing his water and getting up. "Alright, well, I'll let you two get back to whatever it is you two do." And with that Bobby left.
Once they were all done breakfast Dean cleaned up and they went back into Dean's room while Bobby went out to get a few groceries.
Dean had collect a few large bandages, a bottle of Bobby's shitty alcohol(he'd never notice it was gone,) a cup of lukewarm water and a small wash cloth.
Cas was shirtless laying on the bed. While Dean gently cleaned Castiel's cuts.
Dean was honestly surprise that his cuts weren't already infected. There must have been at least 10 big cuts that were still healing on his stomach.
Dean tipped the alcohol bottle over the cup and let the liquid flow out. As soon as he tipped it he pulled it back. Dean swirled the concoction inside the plastic cup around so that the alcohol didn't just float at the top. Once Dean was stratified he dipped the cloth in the water a brought it over to Cas's stomach, a bit of excess water dripped onto the bed.
Dean could never wrap his head around why someone in their right mind would do such a thing as to harm themselves, but Castiel wasn't in his right mind, and for some odd reason Dean wanted to help him.
Dean slowly pressed the cloth against one of the larger, newer cuts and looked up at Castiel to see if he was in pain or not. Castiel was just resting his head against the pillows with his eyes closed. He appeared to be in little to no pain at all.
"Lets play 20 question." Dean suggested.
Castiel cracked one of his eyes open to look at Dean to make sure Dean was serious.
"Sure, I guess."
"I'll go first."
"Okay."
Dean paused for a minute trying to think of how to phrase his question.
"Do you have any other brothers or sisters?"
Castiel gave Dean a questioning look. His brows pulled together, his lips pulled into a tight line and his eyes sparkled with amusement.
"Dean I do not believe this is how we play this particular game. If I remember correctly, person A, in this case I am person A, thinks of something and person B, you, has to guess what it is using only 20 questions."
"Shut up I like my way better" Dead replied warmly. Castiel just sighed before resting his head back on the pillow and let Dean work.
"Aside from Gabriel I have 3 other siblings."
"Woah, 5 of you all under one roof, that must suck."
Dean dipped the cloth back in the cup to collect more water.
"I quite enjoy my siblings company."
"Whatever, its your turn dude."
"Oh um, what do I do?" Cas looked at Dean waiting for his response.
For some odd reason this just felt so... natural to Dean. It really shouldn't, he should be freaking out, he should be looking for Sammy and apologizing, he should be grossed out for even getting this close to another guy but instead he just wanted to wrap Castiel up in his arms and make sure nothing else bad ever comes to the odd blue eyed boy.
"Just ask me a question and I'll answer." Dean said smiling up at Cas.
Castiel took a moment before asking.
"How old are you?"
Dean chuckled "17, how old are you?
"18."
Dean's eyes widen, he didn't expect Castiel to be older than him.
"Dean, is it my turn?" Cas asked curiously. Dean nodded.
Castiel took a second before asking again, trying to think of something.
"Is Bobby your guardian or your father?"
Dean's face fell. He didn't want to answer that.
"Naw, Bobby's just my guardian." Dean replied in a small voice.
"What happened to your parents Dean?" The way Castiel asked the question, in such a gentle voice, Dean almost shuddered.
Dean gulped before responding.
"My.. My mom died in a house fire and me and my brother were taken away from my dad when we were younger." Dean kept his eyes glued on his hands as he worked.
An uncomfortable silence settled in between them. Of course Castiel had to bring his parents up. Dean was pissed. Everything was going pretty okay, than the fucking moron just had to open a whole new can of worms. He couldn't have ask anything fucking normal like where Dean got the impala or what Dean's favourite colour was. Dean wanted to make Castiel just as pissed and uncomfortable as he was and he planned on doing so.
"Hey Cas, where'd you get your black eye?" Dean asked casually.
"My mother hit me a few days ago. It was my fault I suppose, I embarrassed her in public."
Oh.
Dean couldn't tell what he felt, it wasn't pity but more like sorrow and anger. Dean felt enraged that anyone would ever hurt someone so innocent and pure as Cas. And he felt sad because he wasn't there to shelter Castiel from the abuse.
Dean regretted asking.
"I'm sorry." Dean whispered finished up on the last cut and putting the cloth on the table.
Castiel sat up, staring openly at Dean
"Why are you sorry, Dean?" Castiel asked genuinely confused.
"I.. I just shouldn't have brought it up."
"It's alright Dean, it does not upset m-"
"But it should!" Dean barked pushing himself closer to Castiel. Dean could feel Castiel's startled breath on his lips. Castiel flinched, eyes wide with fear.
Dean's eyes also widen, shocked he had exploded like that. He heaved himself away from the frightened man.
"I'm sorry." Castiel replied.
Dean couldn't handle this. He felt like he was suffocating. Memories that he had manged to block out came rushing back like a tidal wave completely and utterly destroying any walls he had put up.
"Dean get your ass in here now!" A 13 year old Dean trembled on the spot hearing the word.
"I'm sorry Dad! I really am! I wont do it again! I promise I wont!"
He stumbled into the messy bedroom.
"Yeah, well, you said that last time now come here." Dean couldn't move, he was paralyzed on the spot.
"Now!" His dad's voice seemed to vibrate off the walls and trap themselves inside Deans head.
Dean scurried over to his dad only to be welcomed by a large hand connecting with the side of his little face. The impact caused Dean to stumble back. He tripped over his little feet and landed on his side with a "thump"
Sobs racked his body as his dad shadowed over him.
"Please no more Dad! I'm sorry!" He screamed.
"Dean! Dean!" Bright green eyes laced with tears flew open to connect with ocean blue ones. As soon as their eyes connected relief soaked into Castiel's eye. The relief was soon washed away with concern.
Dean gripped onto Castiel like he was the only thing anchoring him to reality. He looked around his room in a hurry. It slowly dawned on him that he was no longer 13 or any where near his dad.
He breathed a sigh of relief.
"I'm okay." Dean whispered. "I'm alright." Dean painted on a fake bright smile, teeth and all. Castiel looked reluctant to believe him but he tried.
"Hey, uh, lets get ice cream?" Dean smiled and Cas smiled slightly before nodding.
Dean patched up the rest of Cas's cuts with the bandages he had gotten and the two of them were off.
Dean ended up buying chocolate and Cas got vanilla. They were sitting in the impala enjoying their treat.
"You know, I honestly never thought I'd ever be doing this." Castiel said truthfully, licking at his ice cream.
"Doing what?" Dean asked confused.
"This. Sitting here eating ice cream with you in your car." Castiel chuckled.
"To be honest, I never even thought about it." Dean chuckled. Dean's chuckled was cut short when a small yelp emitted into the car.
"Crap!" Dean looked over to see Castiel trying to stop his ice cream from falling off the cone, using his hands. He had the most adorable, constrained and frightened look on his face. Dean barked out a laugh which caused Castiel to jump slightly, he looked over at Dean and glared.
Dean swiftly leaned over the seats in the impala and took a huge bite out of the ice cream that was falling off.
Castiel stared at him in bewilderment and horror.
"You're a freaking ape, Dean Winchester." Castiel stated a little dazed.
Dean broke out in hysterical laughter. Soon Cas broke out into a smile and also started laughing along with Dean. When they were done Dean was clearing tears from his eyes and Castiel was catching his breath.
"Damn, I haven't laughed that hard in years." Dean said a huge smile plastered on his face.
Castiel nodded.
It didn't take long for them to realize that they both had their personal demons that they had to deal with, but together they felt better, stronger and maybe, just maybe, together if they helped each other, they could past their inner demons and defeat them together.
If you havent already you should go follow my Tumblr, because sometimes I post stuff about this story on there and sometimes I need help finding a word or I need ideas. My url is We-Spilt-Blood-You-Assbutt
Today question: Is there anything you'd guys would like to see with this story? For example, happy/sad endings, certain characters being added in, a certain location, ect?