Title: Until We Reach Valinor

Chapter 28: Glad You're Here

DEDICATION: To Cassie, who I'm sorry to announce will no longer be able to be my beta-reader. Thank you so much for everything you've done for me so far. I'll never forget the improvements you brought to my writing.

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A shadow of gloom had descended on the school. The children, robbed of Celin's exuberant leadership, were more subdued than Legolas had ever known them to be. Elano roamed the hallways day and night, haunting them like a pale ghost. He was gradually giving up hope, and little by little, life.

Legolas had entertained some hope that Elano would be able to find a little closure when he visited his sister's grave. But that had changed the day he accompanied the younger Elf to where his sister had been buried. He had watched from afar as Elano walked up to the headstone, stumbling slightly as he went because his vision was blurred with tears. Elano had stood for a moment, swaying a little as he read the encryption. Then his knees had given way, and he had pressed his face into the headstone, wrapped his arms around it as if it was a living thing, and wept. Legolas had been horrified at witnessing such terrible, profound grief, which even he, in his far longer life, and with everything that he'd been through, had never experienced. He hadn't even been able to comfort Elano, paralyzed in the face of such agony, and knowing nothing he could do or say at this point would do the slightest good. After that day, Elano had stopped coming to meals save once every few days, and even then, he would eat very little. Nothing anyone said made any difference. He was gradually fading away.

Worried as he was about Elano, however, Legolas had bigger things to occupy his time. Alanna was in the third week of her ninth month, and it was expected that her waters would break any day. Her spirits had worn out a little as her pregnancy advanced to its late stages. Already, there had been two instances of false labour, both of which had made her increasingly apprehensive about the birthing, because they had given her a taste of what the pain was going to be like. This, combined with the acute discomfort that always accompanied the last stages of a pregnancy, was enough to make her considerably less cheerful than usual.

Legolas, who was more used than he realized to Alanna's habitually sunny temper, was more affected than he would have liked by her flagging spirits, and he used every method he could conceive of to cheer her up. But his abilities were limited, because he, too, was apprehensive about becoming a father, and was sometimes gripped with moments of extreme self-doubt about his abilities as a parent. Between them, they made an anxious, edgy pair, and both were looking worse for the wear, obtaining faint dark circles; Alanna, because she could not sleep much thanks to the baby's continual kicking, Legolas, because he couldn't sleep with Alanna tossing and turning next to him.

She suggested sleeping in a separate room once, dismayed when she realized she was keeping him up, but he immediately and vociferously shot down the idea, not at all liking the thought of leaving her alone in this stage of her pregnancy. Eventually, they ended up abandoning even the attempt to sleep, and stayed up talking softly together about nothing and everything; about books, and classes, and students, and the future, and the world, and each other. Legolas grew to cherish those times of the day above all others, especially when Alanna did chance to fall asleep sometimes, and he could watch the candlelight play in her hair, and light up the different hues he'd seen and loved on their wedding night, and had never stopped loving since .

"Have you thought about what you want to name the baby?" Alanna asked him once.

"Yes."

"And?"

Legolas hesitated. "I thought about it...but then I came to the conclusion that I should like to see the child first, before I can choose a name. I have a feeling that there'll be something about her that will tell me."

"Her? You still think it's going to be a girl?"

Legolas smiled, relaxing into the familiarity of the argument, which they had had more times than he could count. "I know it is," He said, with more conviction than he really felt in order to play along

She smiled knowingly instantly recognized what he was doing. "Just as I know it's going to be a boy, right?"

"Right."

"You know," She said after a pause, "I thought for a long time that you'd be disappointed if it was a boy."

The smile slipped slightly from Legolas's face. "Why?" He asked, troubled. Surely you didn't think me that low?

"Because if it is a girl, then we'll have to...you know...again." She blushed slightly, "You need an heir. I thought that all that awkwardness yet again...I thought you'd rather it be a boy to spare us that."

"It would be worth it," Legolas replied instantly, "Completely worth it if it resulted in a child. I never thought I'd say something like this until three months ago. But when the baby kicked...I realized that anything, any awkwardness, would be a price I'm willing to pay a hundred times over, if it meant becoming a father again."

A doubt entered his mind as he said the words, and he wondered; are you willing to pay that price? And he was reminded of the fact that she had another attachment awaiting her in Valinor, more dear to her than he could ever be. This companionship, this intimate friendship he'd found with her, could only last until they both sailed. While he had no romantic inclinations towards her, he still regretted that.

But Alanna banished away his momentary gloom by bringing back levity into the conversation, as was her wont. "A hundred times over, hm? Let's hope we don't have to try that many times before we have a son- even I don't like the idea of a hundred and one children."

"I should hope not," Legolas laughed. He smiled, shaking his head, "You're quite the comedian these days, aren't you? Perhaps you should reconsider your current occupation- court jester would suit you so much better than Queen!"

"That isn't saying much," Alanna retorted, "Since nearly any occupation would suit me better than be Queen!"

Legolas's smile faded a little. "You dislike it that much?"

"I'm just not regal enough, Legolas," Alanna said honestly, also growing serious, "I wasn't raised to be a royal, I don't have the appearance or the manners required to carry out this role..."

"If I've ever made you feel as if there's a standard you have to reach, or that you're inadequate-"

"It's not you," She interrupted before he could finish, shaking her head emphatically. "I promise you, it's got nothing to do with you. The fact is, there are a thousand other women who would have suited this office better."

Perhaps, but there's not among those thousand who would have suited me better. But of course, he couldn't say that. And he couldn't deny the truth of what she was saying- she hadn't been brought up to be a royal anymore than he had been brought up to be a peasant. "That's not true," He said half-heartedly, but she recognized the lie for what it was, and silence soon fell between them.

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"Pilinel, it really isn't that difficult," Legolas said, exasperated at the stupidity his pupil was displaying, "You have to keep your eye on the target at all times and forget about the horse, and concentrate on the bow and arrow in your hands, and when you're just before the target, shoot."

"But sir, I can't forget about the horse!" Pilinel protested. "It is too restless."

Legolas's face grew stern. "You were supposed to practice riding the horse before today's class," He said, "You were supposed to becoming completely comfortable with it. I realize that they're not the gentlest beasts, but that was exactly the point, to get you used to less gentle beasts so that you're prepared for the eventuality of riding an animal you're not completely comfortable with, in case something should happen to yours. Did you not practice as you were supposed to?"

Pilinel responded by dropping his gaze and choosing to remain silent, which was all the answer that his teacher needed.

"Pilinel, how many times have I told you that this is your second year here, and-"

"Sir!" Elano burst into the clearing. Something had happened to clear his eyes of some of their usual dullness, Legolas noted, surprised, and somewhat alarmed. "Sir, its ma'am, her waters just broke-"

"What?"

But Legolas was gone before Elano could respond; his heart pounding as he rushed in the direction of the palace. He found Alanna in their bedchamber, being helped into a loose shift by the midwife in preparation for the delivery. Despite the situation, he blushed and averted his eyes until she was fully clothed; then he all but flew to her side.

"Are you alright? Does it hurt?"

"Of course it hurts," She said, "Or, well, it did, a moment ago, but the contractions have stopped for now." There were tears in her eyes as she clasped his hands in hers. "Oh, Legolas, I can't believe it's finally happening." Her face was a mixture of fear and anticipation, mirroring his exactly.

"I know," He said, dropping to his knees in front of her so he could look her straight in the eyes. "You're going to be alright, Alanna."

"Of course I am," She said, trying to rally, "I'm going to be a mother. It's what I've wanted for so long..."

"That's right," He said, squeezing her hands, "Just focus on that; you'll be fine."

Alanna was seized by a contraction, and cried out in pain, convulsively tightening her grasp on his hands. The next second, Legolas was unceremoniously shooed off by the midwife. He watched anxiously as she helped Alanna onto the bed, settling her against the pillows, and then she was abruptly cut off from his view as the maid-servants erected a large cloth screen curtain beside the bed, close enough to it that it was almost kneeling on it following the directions they'd been given by the midwife. Legolas paced anxiously, listening to Alanna in the throes of a contraction, which thankfully didn't last very long.

"You know," She said, sounding slightly out of breath, "This cloth suits my purposes to a tee. I can see you through it, but you can't see me."

Legolas dragged his chair and arranged it so that it was almost tearing into the cloth, wanting to be as close to his wife as possible, and suspecting that she wanted it, too. Sure enough, she rolled over and nestled against the chair, groping for his hand, and grasping it clumsily through the almost paper think cloth, which was, Legolas thought, like all Elvish creations, marvellously made.

"Alanna..."

"I'm so scared," She admitted in a whisper that could have been a breath.

"So am I," He breathed, squeezing her hand as tightly as she was squeezing his. "So am I."

"I'm glad you're here."

"I would not be anywhere else."

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TBC...

Sorry it's shorter than usual, but it's better than nothing, right? I've been REALLY busy lately, and it's a miracle I even managed to do this much. I'm sorry to say that updates will be even less forthcoming than usual from now onwards, although I promise that I WILL eventually finish the fic. It's just that I'm so busy, lately. Gotta go now, I have to prepare for a seminar. Please review!