Barney managed to hold it together long enough to take a taxi to his apartment. As soon as he went through the door, he burst into sobs. He even went as far as to turn the stormtrooper around so he wouldn't have to watch.
Of course he was planning to tell his friends about Quinn dumping him, of course. He just hoped maybe there would have been a nicer way of doing it rather than her bluntly texting them to save a few bucks. He fell onto the couch and buried his face in a pillow. He couldn't help feeling like that was his last chance at happiness, a normal life. He felt himself falling, falling into the dark depths of the pillow.
Like a zombie, he pulled himself off the leather sofa and walked into the bathroom. The bright lighting bounced off the white tile and highlighted his aging body. The red puffiness in his eyes coupled with the deepening of his wrinkles made him look old and tired. He stared back into the blue eyes of this stranger. Who had he become?
He used to live for the conquest, never settle down, and now he was crying over some chick? No way, this isn't Barney Stinson, he thought. But he couldn't shake the feeling that his life was slipping away. You're not meant to settle down, he tried to convince himself, but he was losing the battle. You want Robin, that's who you want.
"But she'll never love me," he said aloud, contradicting his own thoughts. The words hung in the bathroom, changing shape and shades of grey, slipping through Barney's ears and out through his fingertips. Instinctively, he reached for a drawer, pulling out a razor blade he used for chipping the paint off of the molding when it needed repainting. He pressed it to his forearm, stopping before breaking skin.
You can't do this to yourself bro, remember what happened last time? He thought. He shuddered thinking about his teenage years. No matter how much he glorified it for his friend's benefit, his childhood was really a sad story of a nerdy unlikeable boy with a whore mother and a missing father. The only person who was able to pull him out of that spiral was Shannon, and she hadn't been around for an eternity. He was an entirely different person now. Could he be helped this time? Was he too far gone? Every fiber of his being screamed for him to put it down, take a long hot shower, and go to bed, but his fingers pushed harder on the metal.
"Damn it Stinson," he said through gritted teeth as he pulled the razor across his arm. The world crashed around him, skies burning, dogs barking, but at the same time, flowers bloomed, people sang. He felt human again. The warm sensation of blood oozing up and filling the chasm followed by a sharp stinging pain greeted him. Dark blood dripped onto the stark white tiles. He started on another patch of skin, itching for the relief.
His floor was speckled with dots of him. His arm was in shreds. He worried he had cut too deep in places, but he was too tired to bandage his scratches. A cold ringing sound jolted him out of his stupor. He grabbed at his cellphone with his good arm.
"Hello?" He greeted.
"Hey, I just wanted to say how sorry I am that I jumped to conclusions earlier tonight...," it was Lily.
"Oh no, don't mention it. It's fine," He replied.
"No, it was wrong, and I want to make it right. Come over to our apartment, Ted and Robin are coming too. Marshall and I bought beer, and we rented "Return of the Jedi". We might even let you look at our sex tape," she teased.
"You DO have a sex tape!" He exclaimed excitedly.
"No, but I thought it would get you over here. Now come over Barney," she demanded, hanging up.
Barney wasn't dumb, he knew this was a pity party. They wanted him to forget about Quinn, but it would be a long time until he could. He ultimately decided to go because, hey, free beer!
He bandaged his arm tightly and put on a long sleeve shirt underneath his regular white dress shirt. It had been a long time since he had dealt with hiding scars. He grabbed his tan coat and rushed off to Marshall and Lily's apartment.
When he got there, everyone was eating chips and salsa. Marshall jogged over and gave him a tight squeeze.
"I love you buddy," he said. Barney rolled his eyes.
"Did I ever mention how great your hair has been looking this past week?" Ted complimented. Barney nearly threw up.
Finally, everyone settled down on the couch, watching Star Wars on the television. Barney looked around and smiled. Marshall was sitting with Lily's head in his lap, stroking her hair. She was slowly falling asleep. Ted sat close to the baby monitor, doubly listening for Marvin and watching the movie. His arm was draped over the back of the couch. Robin was curled up at the end of the couch, bored with the movie but struggling to stay awake for the rest of the group.
The world felt wonderfully small, like nothing else existed besides his best friends. He reached over to rub Robin's back. She stirred a bit and took his hand in thankfulness.
"Barney, your hand's sticky, what have you been doing?" She held it more firmly. Barney started to panic. He thought his bandage would have sufficed, but maybe he missed a spot? Maybe it came undone? He tried to pull away, but she was already staring at his hand. Ted turned on a light, and the room gasped. Small trickles of blood had dried on his hand.
"Robin... it's nothing, nothing, I got attacked by a dog," he said hurriedly, yanking his arm away and standing up to get his suit jacket. Ted took him by surprise and pulled up his sleeve, revealing the blood soaked bandages.
"Barney," he began, "what's wrong?" Barney felt pressure building up behind his eyes, but he couldn't let himself cry, not in front of his friends, not in front of Robin. He pulled on his coat quickly and ran to the door.
"I uh...I'll see you later guys," he said before slamming the door.