Disclaimer: I do NOT own the following wrestlers, or any of the events that actually happened on camera.
I respect the actual beliefs and sexualities of the following wrestlers.
Thanks for the reviews, everyone. So, lots of angst. That's it. Finally, a chapter without violence!
Well, here's part sixteen.
When Matt got out of the room, Punk and Jeff exchanged glances. They didn't know what exactly was said, but they heard the general tone of the conversation. Chris sounded like a sniveling bitch the whole time, but Matt's voice changed. It went from angry to pleading to calm. And they were worried.
"Are you okay, Carolina?" Punk asked.
Matt gave a smile that didn't reassure either Jeff or Punk. Jeff put his hand on his brother's shoulder and said, "Chris didn't hurt you, did he?"
Matt laughed hollowly. "Chris? Hurt me?" The idea seemed ridiculous now, especially seeing the poor guy so broken. He never thought that the person who hurt him, humiliated him could look into his eyes with such regret, fear, and pain. Chris had practically made Matt cry, how destroyed he looked.
"Let's go get something to eat," Punk said, breaking the uncomfortable silence.
Matt just followed. Even if Chris did it... which he wasn't so sure about anymore, seeing the tears fall freely from Chris' eyes... wouldn't he look a little more like a kid with his hand caught in the cookie jar than a kid who just saw their brother fall off his bike?
*************
Chris got up slowly and only left when he was sure they were gone. He couldn't take much more of this. Maybe he should just quit. He knew the WWE universe was tired of being called hypocrites and sycophants. And then he could stop seeing all these hateful faces.
He limped to his room, cleaned himself up, and just went to sleep. It was at the point where nothing seemed worth it anymore. Chris felt dirty in every way, disgusting. Why else would he be subjected to this?
It was retribution in every way. Chris was being forced to pay for playing with Matt, using every tactic he could to show him that he loved him, and that he was better for him than Adam was. And Adam was a manipulative bastard, but at least he cared about Matt, gave him what he needed. Maybe he should've just left him alone.
He fell asleep and dreamt about the morning he and Matt kissed. Everything that was wrong and right about that day. How wonderful Matt felt against him, how horrified Matt looked when he pulled away, how pained he sounded when he begged Chris to stay away, how he screamed, letting out his pain.
The perfect mistake, just like the threesome.
He woke up to the sound of someone softly knocking on his door. He went to the door and looked through the peephole. Then he blinked, to make sure he was seeing right. There was Matt, biting his lip and looking like he wanted to leave. Just as Matt turned to leave, Chris opened the door.
Matt turned around and they just stared at each other. Matt still looked so beautiful to Chris, and it hurt him so much to see him hurt. And to think that he might be the reason it happened. And Matt thought about Chris' pain, and how much this Canadian confused him. How could he look so innocent, yet have every sign pointing at him as guilty? Then, Matt looked down and said, "Half of me was hoping you wouldn't open the door."
"Half of me was hoping that it was just a dream," Chris replied, "It's... not, right?"
"No," Matt said, shaking his head. "Unless we're sharing a dream."
"More like a nightmare."
Matt pursed his lips, unsure if he should continue, but then decided he had to know if Chris really was innocent or not. But he told himself he'd be cautious, and he wouldn't let Chris sucker him in with puppy dog eyes and pretty words. "Can I come in?"
Chris just moved out of the way, showing Matt he was allowed inside. Matt walked in and then Chris closed the door. Matt saw that some of Chris' stitches came loose during his and Punk's assault, and he said, "I'm sorry."
"Maybe I deserved it," Chris said.
"So you really remember nothing?" Matt said.
Chris nodded. "I need to find out what happened that night," he said, "And I'm sure you feel the same way. Matt, you don't think I did this, but it's important we find out for certain."
"Chris," Matt said, "I don't think that you would hurt me... in your right mind. But that's not to say that you wouldn't if you weren't in your right mind."
"Matt, I swear, if I hurt you... I will do everything in my power to make up for it," Chris said, "Anything you want me to do to pay, I will go through with it. But, if I didn't... we both need to know."
"That's actually the scariest concept. If you didn't do it, then who?"
"I don't know, Matt. But maybe we could find something out." Chris touched his shoulder. "Come with me to the bar. Maybe, it could jog my memory."
"You were in a bar?" Matt asked.
"Yes. You hurt me really badly, Matt. I got drunk, trying to forget my problems, and I ended up talking about you to the bartender. That's where my memory ends."
Matt gulped. "Okay. But you have to promise to be honest with me. Tell me everything you remember. If you really meant what you said, that if you did it, you'd atone, then you won't keep any detail from me."
"I swear I won't," Chris promised.
************
The drive over was in silence. Chris bandaged up his head to the best of his abilities, promising himself he'd go to the accursed doctor didn't even look at each other; it was like the other person wasn't there.
They got out and Chris asked around about his bartender. Then, suddenly, he heard, "If it isn't Mr. hung himself!" Chris and Matt both turned and saw Bernie getting behind the bar. "And you brought a friend this time! What can I get you?"
Matt ordered two beers and Bernie served them up, grinning. "So, did you go after your Maddie chick, like I told you to?"
Matt glared at Chris. "You told him to chase Maddie?" Chris could've mentioned that before they came here. Chris blushed, but Bernie didn't notice either of their reactions.
"Yeah. Your friend was completely broken up over this flip flopping Maddie chick, who kept giving him hope and then taking it away. Tried telling him to take the offer off the table, but he's got the fire in him, so I said, seduction's the key to your happiness." Bernie grinned. "He said so much cute shit about her eyes and her laughter..."
Now it was Matt's turn to blush. Despite his anger, he still couldn't believe Chris complimented him so much to a complete stranger. Chris smiled and said, "Uh... do you remember what I was wearing?"
"Nope," Bernie said, "Why, did someone steal your clothes? Like the guy who carried you out of here?"
Chris' eyes narrowed, and Matt held back a gasp of surprise. "I was carried out of the bar?"
"Man, you were wasted. I felt like shit; I should've cut you off a long ways before. You were on the edge of falling out. I was about to ask if I could get you a cab somewhere, but your friend came over and said he'd bring you home..."
"What friend?" Matt and Chris asked at the same time, both trying to find the truth about that horrible night.
"Some white guy. Couldn't see much else. Dude wore a knit cap, if that helps any."
"A white guy in a knit cap," Chris said, "You sure you didn't notice anything else about him?"
"No! I already said that!" Bernie shook his head, and then looked at them worried. "Why? Did something happen?"
"No!" Chris said, "No, it's fine." As Chris reassured Bernie, Matt felt a pit growing in his stomach, A guy in a knit cap. Who knew Matt intimately. It just felt like there was only one option. But it couldn't be. It was impossible. He cared so much about Matt, was there for him, was the reason Matt didn't go completely insane after the attack.
But it sounded like it had to be Adam.
Adam was there for him. Adam comforted him. He couldn't have... he wouldn't hurt him. It was ridiculous.
Matt had to find out. On his own. Without Chris or anyone else. Later, he'd come back here... and he'd find out if Adam, the man he loved, the man who held him through the pain, was actually the one who hurt him in the first place.
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