Unexpectedly Yours
2.
I woke up the following morning feeling refreshed and ready to go to school, which almost never happens.
"Why are you so chirper this morning?" my Papi asked.
"Um, no reason, I guess…I gotta go," I said as I grabbed my lunch and flew out the door.
As I walked to school, I still didn't know how I was going to introduce myself to Quinn, but I knew I intended on doing it as soon as I saw her. No backing down. No chickening out!
As I entered William McKinley high school, I walked to my locker to drop off my books and grab the ones I'd need for my first three classes: homeroom, English, lunch (which isn't a class!) and Math.
"Have you seen her yet," Brittany said as she snuck up on me.
"Geez, Britt…Scare much?" I said as I jump a few inches in the air.
"Ooppss…sorry. Thought you heard me comin'…so have you?" she said.
"No, just got here," I said.
As if I cue, Quinn magically appeared with her friends as walked down the hallway.
"H-," I stuttered loudly and raised my arm to wave.
She looked at me, scoffed, and continued to walk away all the while she giggled with her friends.
Smooth Santana…smooth!
"It's okay, S," Brittany said, "You'll get better." She patted me on my back and then guided me to our first class.
When we got there, I plopped down into the bucket seat and was quiet which isn't like me. I usually try to make jokes.
"What's up with her?" Mercedes asked as I listened to Brittany lie to her.
"Oh, she said that she didn't sleep well," Brittany said as she looked at me and winked. I mouthed, "thank you" and gave her a smile in return.
The class flew by. The next one was English. I thought it would just be another regular boring class and then the teacher spoke, "Ok, everyone, we have a kind of new student joining us. She transferred from her English class into this one. Quinn, dear, come on in."
I whipped my head around to see her walk into the room.
Is this real?
Quinn sauntered into the room and actually sat in the only empty seat…right next to me!
Brittany saw this from a row behind me and just smiled widely at me.
As Quinn walked over to the seat we made eye contact briefly. I went to say something, but was cut off by our teacher.
"Ok, now to the business at hand. We are going to pair off for an interesting assignment. You are going to write and read a poem, about anything, with the person sitting next to you," the teacher announced.
As the class started to pair off, I looked over at Quinn and she seemed uncomfortable.
"Do you want me to see if I could pair off with someone else," I asked.
"Um, no, we're good…what do you want to write," Quinn asked.
How much I think I love you…how I want you to be mine…
Brittany brought me out of my trance with a loud and purposeful cough. When I looked over at her she gave me a "don't blow this" stare. I grinned in return.
"Um, I don't know…is there something you've been trying to express?" I asked genuinely interested.
"Just teenage crap, I guess," she said.
"Well, if you ever feel like talking, I am here to listen…" I offered.
"Thank you, Santana," she replied.
Holy shit…she knows my name!
As the bell rang, I quickly asked, "When do you want to work on this?"
"Um, here," she said and wrote something down. Then she handed me the paper and walked away. I watched her walk away. I tried not to stare, but I just couldn't help it. Brittany came up to me, sat down in the empty chair, and then yelled, "San…SANTANA!"
I jumped in my chair and stared at her dumbfounded.
"What did she write down," Britt asked.
I looked down at the paper and choked on my own spit.
"Is that…Is that…her number?" I asked shocked.
"Yes, Rain Man, it is," Brittany said and then cackled out loud.
I looked up at her and smiled brightly.
"I got her number!" I exclaimed too loudly.
"Whoa! San…don't yell," Brittany suggested.
"Good call, B!" I said as I realized that Quinn probably doesn't want the entire student body and some of the faculty to know that she gave me her number.
I folded the piece of paper and slipped it into my pocket. Then Brittany and I got up and left the room. We had lunch next, but I couldn't really eat any thing, as I was too excited and not really hungry. Brittany happily helped me by eating most of my lunch for me.
Then we parted ways for Math, my worst subject of the day. While my teacher was yammering on about equations and the square root of an ungodly number, I put Quinn's number into my phone, making sure I punched each number in with assuredness and confidence.
Does she text? Should I test it out?
I created a new text message and typed, "Hi, it's Santana uh Lopez, hope you're having a nice day!"
Then I hit the send button and tried to concentrate on the lesson. I put the phone on vibrate and then placed it in between my legs to not look so guilty to have sent a text during class. All of a sudden it vibrated and I jolted in my chair. I almost shrieked, but caught myself. A few people looked in my direction, but didn't think much of it.
I swiped my finger over the lock combination I had set up and found that I had a new text message. I touched the message and I saw, "Well, hello, Santana uh Lopez, yes, I am…how r u? ~ Q."
Oh my God…how am I? Flabbergasted. Overjoyed. Happy.
"I'm coolbeans!" I texted and sent it. Within a millisecond I kind of regretted my choice of words.
My phone vibrated again, and I read, "Coolbeans, huh? I didn't know that peeps still use that phrase!" Hehe! Where are you?"
"I'm an original, I guess. I'm stuck in Math! Yuck! Where r u?" I typed and hit send.
Almost immediately, I got a text that read, "Um look at the door…"
My head shot up and to the direction of the door. There she stood. Quinn Fabray. She motioned me to come out into the hallway.
I raised my hand nonchalantly and asked for a hall pass. The teacher granted me the pass and since it was the last few minutes of class I gathered my belongings and exited the room.
"Hey," I said as I looked at her.
"Hey u," she said in return and then asked, "What's your next class?"
"Um, I have my study period…u?"
"I'm free…do you use it to study?" she asked.
"Not really. I meet up with Brittany, but I can skip if you…you want to work on the poem?" I asked. I wish I had more self-confidence.
"Sure!" she replied. I took out my cell phone and texted Brittany, "Won't b at study hall…QUINN! Details ltr."
We walked quietly to the football field and sat on the top of the bleachers.
After I dropped my bag down, I took out a piece of paper and a pen.
"So what did you wanna write about?" I asked her.
She looked down at her feet and said, "Well, what about love?"
"Is that the title or what you'd like to write about?" I asked a little confused.
"Um, the subject…is that okay?" she asked.
Just as I was about to answer my cell phone buzzed.
"Do you mind? It's probably Brittany," I asked.
"Of course not. I did steal you…" she answered with a smirk.
"Oh, no you didn't…" I replied. I quickly read the text.
"Ohh, Santana's gonna get some," was what I read.
I coughed and felt my cheeks get hot.
"You okay?" Quinn asked.
"Um, yea, I am," I said as I quickly put my phone away.
"Ok…can I ask you a question?" she asked.
Oh shit…here we go…get ready Lopez!
"Are you and Brittany together?" she asked.
"Well, that wasn't the question I thought you were going to ask, but define 'together'?" I countered her question to make sure I understood.
"Um, together, ya know, a couple…having sex?" she asked.
"Um, we tried that once and our friendship really crumbled because of it so we decided to fix the friendship and not continue with the 'girlfriend/girlfriend' relationship. You're the only other person besides me and Britt that knows that…" I said and smiled.
"Oh, I won't tell anyone, you can trust me," she said and looked directly into my eyes.
"I know," I simply said and nodded.
"Good," she said in return, and then she asked, "What did you think I was gonna ask you?"
"Never mind…back to the poem?" I suggested.
"Ok, you're off the hook for now, Missy…" she said and laughed.
"Ok, what do we want to call the poem," I asked trying not to sound disappointed.
"I don't know since this is the first poem I've ever written. How about you," she asked.
"I, um, dabble in poetry," I revealed. And I wasn't lying. Most of my stuff is about love, love lost, and love never realized. It's dark. Much darker for many people's tastes, but I write for myself and no one else. I can actually think up a poem in a few minutes. And trust me, I've written many about Quinn.
"I'd love to read some," she said encouragingly.
"Oh, really? I really don't show them to anyone…" I said.
"Oh it's okay. I understand," Quinn said and looked a little sad.
"Quinn I'd be honored to show you a few, though," I said and smiled.
"Really?! I'm honored…When?" she asked.
"Wanna come over today after school?" I said forwardly.
"Um…" she said and scratched her head.
"Oh, Quinn, I'm so sorry. I know you have a life and places to go and your friends to hang out with…I wasn't thinking," I said quickly.
"Santana, slow down there…" she said and then laughed.
I just looked at her with a blank expression on my face. I didn't know what she was thinking about me…Stalker? I try too hard? I didn't know.
To get these thoughts out of my head I found myself saying, "Quinn, I really just want to get to know you, if you're open to that."
Quinn looked at me, I mean, really looked at me. Realizing what I just said I covered my mouth with my hand. She continued to look at.
Then she said, "I gotta go. We'll work on this poem another day, k?" She grabbed her belongings and ran down the bleachers as fast as possible. I sat there motionless and speechless. I didn't know what to do. And I didn't have the opportunity to apologize because she ran away so quickly. I never knew another person could run away that fast.
Once she was definitely out of site, I brought out my phone and texted Brittany.
"Come to the bleachers, pls?" and she was there within five minutes.
I explained what had happened and then she held me. She sat there and listened to me cry. I couldn't help it. I know it sounds stupid to be crying over someone I hardly knew, but it still hurt.
After school, I came home and just collapsed onto my bed. I wasn't even excited that it was Friday and that I could sleep later. My parents knew that there was something wrong, but I didn't open up to them. They know and accept that I'm gay. I was so scared about coming out to them, but they surprised me with their acceptance. Even my grandmother is supportive. She doesn't really totally get it and that's okay just as long as I still have their love.
I needed to get out of my head so I put in my ear buds and pressed play on my IPod. I lay on my back to look up at my ceiling, which sometimes calms my fears and gives me clarity.
"You've gotta get up and try try try…Gotta get up and try try try…You gotta get up and try try try," I sang loudly. I love P!nk so much. Her music is so empowering to me and her songs truly make me feel a little better after listening to them.
I had my eyes closed while the song played. So when I opened them I couldn't believe who was standing over me giggling like crazy.