Chapter Seven: Life Support

Disclaimer: I do not own RENT.

Note: Sorry it's so short, but that song is short, so there's not much I can do there…

Okay, now I'm not entirely sure what I just couldn't take my bike, but apparently I couldn't be bothered as I am now running, yes running, down the street to the Life Support meeting, looking quite ridiculous.

It's probably already over, but still, at least I can meet up with Collins and Angel. I entered the building and…Unbelievable. Un frickin believable. They're still introducing themselves! Either they randomly decide to introduce themselves at the end of the meeting, so as to preserve anonymity (which really wouldn't work if there are any introductions at all) or Collins and Angel TOTALLY lied to me about needing to hurry.

I try to come in quietly, but when I put my equipment down, the noise is very loud and, naturally, everyone turns to stare at the clumsy Jewish boy who just met his ex-girlfriend's new girlfriend. "Sorry. Excuse me," I say, hoping that they'll just stop staring at me.

"And you are…?" the leader person asks me. Damn. No such luck.

"Oh, I'm not-"Dying a horrible painful death. No, can't say that. "I don't have-" AIDS, but I turned my girlfriend into a lesbian and everyone I know WITH AIDS are getting more action than me doesn't work either. "I'm here with-"That might have worked, as Angel waved to me with his…her…Angel's not in drag! Does that mean I should refer to Angel as a guy? Whatever, I'll do it anyway.

Anyway, like I was saying, Angel was waving his pinky at me to acknowledge that he knew me, but Collins was trying to melt into his seat, so I don't think he'd appreciate that very much… "I'm just here to-" Videotape you all for my documentary which I'll get around to finishing during the next decade or so, when none of you will be around except maybe the Leader-Guy who probably doesn't have AIDS or else they'd have to find a new one every few months. Yeah, that doesn't work either. Perhaps I should just answer the question. That is, if I can even speak while my foot is jammed so far down my throat.

"Mark. Mark." Not sure why I felt the need to say that twice, but might as well make it a third. "I'm Mark." This is SO awkward. Roger can never find out or I will NEVER live it down. And Roger will die laughing at me, thus making my taking care of him a complete and total waste! Plus that fangirl of his'll be pissed, I guess.

"Well, this is quite an operation," I said. Then I realized that that made it sound like they were a drug ring or something. Which wasn't a good plan because needle-sharing probably led to some of these people getting AIDS and…Oh god. I hope Roger comes out of his hermit stage soon, so I can go back to our apartment and never EVER leave it. Ever again.

"Does anyone have a problem if I film a little of this for a documentary?" I mean, granted it's not very ethical and people probably don't want the tale of how they got AIDS to be made public when most of the country thinks that AIDS is God's way of saying 'I Hate You.'

Everyone glances around, probably wondering why I'm even asking that or why I even bothered to come since I don't have AIDS and my friends are pretending they don't know me.

"Make yourself comfortable, Mark," the leader instructed me. "Who wants to begin?"

Now, nobody said anything at first, probably fearing my camera, but then one guy opened his mouth and…another guy said, "Well, I'm-"

Okay, this guy doesn't seem like he knows what he wants to say. Did he just want to beat the other guy to be the first to go? I smell some drama, some tension. A rivalry…very riveting.

The guy begins again. "Yesterday…" Oh god, not another false start. "I found out my T cells were low."

"What was your reaction?" the Leader asked. Um, hello, what does he THINK the reaction would be? SHIT.

"Scared," the guy said, clearly censoring himself in front of the nice Jewish Boy with the camera and lack of social skills.

"How are you feeling today? Right now?" the Leader asked. First of all, it's only been a day, so probably still scared. Secondly, I should make a note to come earlier to the next meeting so I don't have to refer to everybody as 'the leader' or 'the guy'. I mean, what if another guy speaks up? Roger already named his ex-drug dealer 'The Man,' so I just don't know what I'd do…

"Okay. Alright." Clearly the guy just let's things roll right off him. "Pretty good."

"Is that all?" the Leader asked greedily, as if three different answers weren't enough for him.

"It's the best I've felt in a long time. Months." Wow, that's a far cry from 'okay.' Unless, of course, he's been feeling like…well, like he's dying, for the past few months.

"Then why choose fear?" the Leader asked. Um, hate to break it to you, Leader-Dude, but most people don't CHOOSE to feel afraid. Being afraid of death is more instinctual than anything else.

The Guy clearly shared my sentiments as he just looked at the Leader as though he were crazy and said, "I'm a New Yorker." And clearly he thinks that the Leader is an idiot, seeing as how he had to explain where we were. "Fear's my life."

Made sense. Then he started singing, which did NOT make sense, but whatever. "Look, I find some of what you teach suspect." Wait? They're teaching something? Should I have paid a fee or…? "Because I'm used to relying on intellect." You totally can't begin a sentence with 'Because'! Maybe I'm picky, though. And, come to think of it, perhaps Roger would have better luck writing a song somewhere that I'm not around to offer grammatical assistance.

"Relying on intellect." Though clearly not in a Language Arts area. "But I try to open up to what I don't know." You can't start a sentence with but, either! "Because reason says I should have died three years ago…" Yeah, another because at the beginning. And is it just me, or was that Roger I heard just now? But…he's not even here! How…Oh, right. I forgot I stopped asking those kinds of questions once we got that most-likely-radioactive stone from Benny.

Now everyone is joining in. Except me. Because I'm just the cameraman. "There's only us. There's only this." Although what exactly 'this' is escapes me. The meeting, perhaps? And who constitutes as 'us'? Just the people in the room? That's kind of a limited understanding of the world, isn't it? "Forget regret, or life is yours to miss." That's actually good advice. If only I could use it to forget Maureen.

"No other road." Wait, did I miss something? Since when did a road have to do with anything they were just singing about? I bet they're totally making fun of me… "No other way. No day but today!"

And tomorrow. Although I suppose that by the time we actually get to tomorrow, it will turn into today, but…Now my head hurts…

To Be Continued…


R&R