Hakkai

The day was already beginning strangely, as far as I was concerned—it had been rather disconcerting to wake up and find both Sanzo and Gojyo missing, particularly when they had been so angry the day before, and one could hardly blame me for worrying that perhaps they were off fighting again. I should have been relieved when they returned in one piece. Instead, I had this unexplainable sense of dread building in my stomach, and I wasn't quite sure what to attribute it to.

Our journey was relatively mundane that day. No youkai to fight. No villages to pass. It was just miles and miles of open space around us. We appeared to be in a grassland of some kind, and on all sides of us was nothing but stretching expanses of lush, green grass, blowing in the wind, bright, fluffy clouds sailing across an ocean of blue sky. It was relaxing and peaceful. Or it should have been. Would have been. Had it not been for Sanzo and Gojyo's constant bickering.

That in itself was abnormal. For whatever reason, they couldn't seem to leave one another alone, and whenever one made the mistake of speaking, the other was quick to either scorn him, or to refute what he'd said. All the while, Goku sat in the back, quietly, looking around nervously. Their arguing became so intense, he scarcely had room to whine for food. It was bizarre to say the least, and I found it unnerving.

Perhaps that was the source of my worry, and yet I wasn't sure. I should have felt fine about the day—arguments aside, everything seemed to be going well, and we were making good time. Yet I couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong, or that there was some sort of impending doom hovering over us. It crossed my mind that perhaps it was simply because Sanzo and Gojyo had fought that group of youkai this morning, but that simply didn't make sense. After all, if they had wiped out the clan who was left to worry about?

The dark figure we'd seen on the hillside came to mind. Yes, that had to be it. It was clear that whoever it was, she was a woman, with long, raven hair, and even though I couldn't make out any other details concerning her, I got a terrible, twisted feeling in my gut when I looked at her, and my old wound started to ache a bit.

It was the ache in my wound that distressed me the most. For the most part, the wound no longer bothered me, unless the weather was a certain way. It wasn't as if I'd forgotten it was there, but at least it wasn't inhibiting my lifestyle physically. So for it to start acting up at the sight of a stranger put me on alert for danger. Who was this woman? Did she have something to do with the youkai clan Sanzo and Gojyo had destroyed? There had been a few women yesterday when we'd fought the youkai, but I hadn't seen anyone who matched what I'd seen on the hill—that figure was too powerful and too haunting.

For the rest of the day, I felt as if we were being followed. Even hunted perhaps, as if some dark force were following us down the road, but whenever I looked over my shoulder, it was just a stretching, brown ribbon behind us, and I saw no sign of danger. Similarly, the environment around us was not exactly an ideal location for hiding. There was literally no place for an enemy to conceal themselves, assuming it was an enemy following us.

I wanted to assume it was my imagination and that I was letting my worry consume me, but even then the uneasy feeling wouldn't go away. It was as if my very instincts were alive inside me, crying out a warning.

If any of my comrades noticed it or were sharing the same uneasiness, they didn't show it. Mostly Sanzo was busy arguing with Gojyo, and Goku was sitting staring out at the scenery. No one mentioned feeling uneasy in the least.

So I did my best not to worry over it.

A bit past noon, Goku began to complain about being hungry, and his demands were so insistent that even Sanzo and Gojyo had to be quiet a while. It was strange that his complaints were so fierce today, but I thought it was likely because he was tired of the arguing.

In truth, I was too. Gojyo and Sanzo had never gotten along perfectly, but in the past they'd always done a good job of leaving one another alone. Both of them knew they were bound to rub each other the wrong way, and it seemed that was enough to keep them apart. Usually. Today that restraint seemed to have been completely thrown out the window.

When we pulled over to eat beneath the shelter of a huge tree that was growing on the side of the road, I approached Sanzo to discuss the situation.

He was sitting off to the side, brooding and smoking while Goku and Gojyo fought over the food as usual.

"Sanzo, might I have a word with you?"

When he lifted his eyes I could see that he was angry. "Well, what is it?"

"I was wondering if something might be…wrong."

That only seemed to irritate him. "What are you talking about?"

"You and Gojyo have been fighting an awful lot today, and after what happened yesterday and this morning, I just thought maybe something happened."

"No. Nothing happened. Just those stupid youkai."

"In that case, what is going on between you two?"

"Nothing's going on. We always fight this way."

Even he had to know what nonsense that was. He had to be saying it just to downplay my concern. That only succeeded in angering me. "You know very well that that's not true, Sanzo. You and Gojyo have never fought this persistently before, nor this angrily. It's just not natural for you two to be fighting this way: it's usually the two of them."

"Please. I don't see what the problem is, Hakkai. You're always worrying about something—it's really annoying." He tossed his cigarette down and walked away.

With a sigh, I ground the butt out myself and went to join the others.

All day it remained that way. Sanzo and Gojyo fought while Goku and I listened. It seemed to me that they were arguing over the most inane things, and I began to think that the fighting was simply a result of their being annoyed with each other. Perhaps all the tension from yesterday's fight wasn't gone yet and they simply didn't want to be anywhere near one another. If that were true though, I wondered what had made Gojyo follow Sanzo out into the wilderness in the first place. If they were so angry at one another, and so sick of being together, why had they fought side by side as if nothing were wrong?

My wound continued to ache throughout the remainder of the day as well. Not very badly, but a dull throb that became more and more frustrating as the hours passed. What in the world was making it act up like this? I did my best to hide it from the others, but by the time the sun was setting, I felt agitated, confused and unusually tired.

In fact, by sundown, I was so tired of driving I simply couldn't go any further.

With a sigh, I pulled off to the side of the road. We were in a rather open area and I didn't see so much as a tree nearby that could be used for shelter, but the sky was clear and the air was warm so I doubted we would really need any. There was a small stream nearby that would do well enough for a water source. "I suppose this isn't an ideal place for camping, but we could drive for hours and not find anywhere better, so it will just have to do. Goku, will you please try to find something we can start a fire with."

"Awww! But Hakkai, I'm hungry!"

"I understand, but please keep in mind that it will be difficult to prepare any food without a fire."

He sighed, "Alright. I'll look around I guess. Gojyo, help me."

Gojyo sighed, getting out of the car and stretching his arms, "Why me?"

"I can't find firewood all by myself!"

"Ok, ok, monkey. Don't flip a bitch."

"Perhaps it will do you some good to be away from Sanzo for a while as well." I added, unable to help sounding a little irritated. "I could certainly use a break from your two's incessant fighting."

"Yeah, yeah, okay, Hakkai. I'm goin'. Don't you see me goin'?"

I watched after them a moment as they disappeared into the darkness, and then turned to Sanzo, even though I didn't really feel like speaking to him either.

"Well, Sanzo, we didn't get as far as we would have liked to today, but it can't really be helped after the late start we got. I'm sure tomorrow we'll make more progress. Maybe you'll both be in a better mood by then."

"Feh. I'm not in a bad mood. He's the one with the problem."

I didn't bother arguing with him. I just wanted to go to bed now and forget that this day had even existed. Between the pain my wound was causing and the frustration of having to listen to Sanzo and Gojyo, it had been an extremely trying day.

Gojyo and Goku came back with a little firewood, but it was nowhere near as much as we would need. It appeared that they'd gotten distracted at some point—bickering no doubt—and forgotten to finish collecting the wood. That only succeeded in annoying me more. Well that was fine. I'd make a fire with what little I had and if it went out in the middle of the night, so be it. The weather was relatively warm already, so it might not even matter.

Sanzo laid down and went to sleep almost immediately, and Gojyo and Goku stayed up a while playing games and teasing each other until Goku got tired as well and more or less passed out beside the fire. Then Gojyo took his jacket off. I watched him roll it up to make a pillow and with a cheeky 'Night 'Kai' stretched out too.

"What's going on?" I asked quietly. Perhaps if Sanzo was unwilling to tell me anything, Gojyo might. He was surprisingly more prone to honesty than Sanzo was.

"Goin' to bed. What's it look like?"

"I meant with you and Sanzo? You fought all day—I found that very unusual, especially since it's normally you and Goku who do most of the fighting."

"We weren't really fighting." He said after an exasperating pause. "Just arguin'."

"That's what I mean. You two have always done a good enough job of staying out of each other's hair to keep from arguing, but today…" I shook my head, "We couldn't even have a moment of respite. I have to say, it was rather disheartening. Especially after what happened in the market yesterday. I mean," I lowered my voice, wondering if the others might still be awake, "Did you completely forget everything I told you yesterday?"

"Naw. I just…" He seemed to be on the verge of telling me something, but then changed his mind, "I dunno', I was just annoyed with him all day. That guy can be such a jerk."

I thought on that a bit. Sanzo was a difficult person to get along with and I knew it. Although I rarely had problems with him myself, I knew that he and Gojyo had trouble seeing things the same way. Furthermore, Sanzo was easily angered, and there were a lot of times when Gojyo simply being himself rubbed Sanzo the wrong way. "Still, I've never seen the two of you go at it so fiercely. It just made me wonder if there's something going on."

"Nothing's going on. He pissed me off, that's all. I don't know." Gojyo sat up with a sigh and lit a cigarette, "We've been on this stupid trip for so long—sometimes I feel like I can't stand to be around Sanzo anymore. Every day, day in and day out, he's there, and he's always so pissed off about something. Sometimes I think this fucking quest could actually be fun, if he weren't with us."

"Fun?" I snorted. "My friend, you have a very skewed perception of what's fun."

Gojyo grinned, "Maybe. Either way, sometimes I just wanna' get the hell away from that guy. He's such a pain in the ass. Sometimes I start thinkin' about life—we're not getting any younger on this road y'know—and I start thinkin' about all the other shit I could be doing. Parties, drinkin', chicks…and instead I have to be here with that uptight monk, doin' whatever he says."

I noticed Goku stirring in his sleep, kept my focus on Gojyo. "When was the last time you did anything Sanzo said?"

"You know what I mean." He drew on the cigarette and tilted his head back, looking up at the moon. Tonight it was as round as the sun, and almost as bright. For a long time Gojyo was quiet, then he mumbled, "Sometimes I just wanna' leave and go back to doin' what I did before… I wish I didn't know anything about Gyumaoh or Kougaiji or…fuck. Any of it. Life was good before, wasn't it?"

"As I remember, you were complaining pretty regularly of boredom before we began this journey."

Gojyo was silent again, but he didn't look at me. "Yeah." He said finally. "I guess so. Never mind, Hakkai, you're worried about nothing. Today just sucked, that's all. Tomorrow will be better."

I wondered if he was right. It was strange living this way, day to day like this. At times, we could go for weeks on end without incident, and then there would come days when it seemed that we were facing hell itself, enemies so powerful that it sent us all to the brink of death, testing our camaraderie. Come to think of it, everything had been relatively peaceful lately. Maybe we were overdue for something cataclysmic.

He laid back again. "Good night, Hakkai."

"Good night, Gojyo."

Hours passed and I couldn't sleep. It was a strange night, full of odd thoughts and fearful memories. My old wound continued to ache, and my mind wandered between what Gojyo had said and things that had happened in my old life as Cho Gonou. Perhaps it was simply the full moon, but I felt restless and anxious. My blood was rushing hot, and I could feel my youkai instincts sweltering deep inside me, longing for a fight. After I'd sworn to live a life of peace, here I was, on this journey with these other men who were just as jaded and ill-fated as myself, killing whomever crossed my path.

Sadly, I looked down at my hands. Where was the peaceful life I had longed for? Had I truly forfeited it the day Kanan had died?

At times, I had to admit, I felt the way Gojyo did. I couldn't help thinking of our house, so far away now, and the simple life we'd had there. I couldn't help feeling that I wanted to go back there, find a job, perhaps as a teacher, and never bloody my hands with another man's life for as long as I lived. It had crossed my mind before to leave my friends, abandon this quest, and simply go out and find the solitude and clarity that I so desperately longed for.

And at the same time, it would be impossible for me to do that. As I was, I was unfit to live a clean, serene life—I was Cho Hakkai, the Demon Slayer, a youkai myself in body and blood, and I owed my loyalty to Sanzo and Gojyo and Goku. Perhaps at the end of our journey I could at last find tranquility, but not before then.

As for my friend, I was certain his occasional thoughts of leaving us were something he only considered in passing. Almost certain at least. Gojyo had left us before, and I knew, as we all knew, that our ties as a group were terribly thin. Each of us had our own limit, our things we would leave for, things that mattered to us more than anything else. Yet, I couldn't help thinking that all of those things were right here, surrounding us now. It was only when the ugly faces of our pasts showed themselves that we could be separated. It was as if some unnatural bond held us all together.

I looked over at Gojyo. Would he leave? Was he truly so frustrated that he no longer felt like going west with us? I knew that he was a man driven and controlled by his emotions and his sense of freedom, a man who had to do whatever he wanted, with nothing to stand in the way. Perhaps he really was tired of this journey, and perhaps the morning would find him gone.

I didn't want to think of it, so I tried to get some sleep.

No sooner had I closed my eyes, I thought I heard something behind me—like someone walking nearer and breathing softly. I turned over to look, but there was nothing but darkness.

Still, for a while, I sat up, eyes searching for danger.

To the left of me, I thought I saw a shadow move.

An animal? Or an enemy? More assassins maybe?

"Hello?" I got up.

Perhaps it was simply my imagination.

Another sound. This time I was certain I heard footsteps, and still there was no sign of anyone.

For a moment, I stayed perfectly still, breathing quietly, watching and listening for any glimpse of a stalker, the wind blowing through my hair. Something rustled off to my right. "Who's there?"

A tall woman stepped out of the shadows, green eyes seeming to glow, long, black hair waving in the breeze. She had a nasty smile on her face and her voice was soft and whispery as the night wind,

There was something else about her too—something about her youkai energy that made my entire body tingle with uncertainty. She was drenched in a sense of malice and vengeance.

"Who are you?" I stood my ground, readying myself for a fight if need be, and sensing for any other youkai. She seemed to have masked her presence from me, so there was no way for me to tell if she had others with her.

I glanced over my shoulder at my companions. They were all still sleeping peacefully, and I couldn't think of any reason to wake them if I didn't need to. As long as this woman was alone, I was confident I wouldn't need help.

"Don't you worry yourself about that: I'm not here for you."

She turned her back to me and headed right for Sanzo.

"Hey." I leapt after her. Normally, I disliked fighting women, but I got such a chilling feeling from this one that I didn't know if I could contain myself.

I was just a few feet from her, and then it was as if I'd run into a brick wall—I stumbled back, holding my nose to make sure it wasn't bleeding, "What in the-"

She looked over her shoulder at me, smiling slyly, eyes on fire, "I suggest you stay back. I'm far too powerful for you." Then she reached out, like she was going to grab Sanzo by the throat.

Not hesitating to consider her warning, I heaved a chi beam at her: from such close range, it would do a lot of damage. It might even kill her.

At the last second, she sprang away, twisting around in the air, hair like a black halo around her head. She landed right in front of me, inches from my face, still grinning, and hissed, "I was going to spare you and your other two friends, but if you insist on fighting me, be warned, I won't back down."

Snarling, she struck at me with glistening claws, attempting to tear into my chest, but I managed to block. Still, the force of her attack was strong enough that I felt my arm bruise. And she came at me again, swinging blow after blow, moving so quickly that it was a strain for me to dodge and stop her attacks. As we fought, I tried to back away in hopes of leading her further from Sanzo. Hopefully my teammates would awake from the noise. All together we should have no trouble dispatching her. Probably.

I wasn't doing terrible on my own. I managed to clip her in the chin and got a shot in on her stomach, but all too often, I felt her claws whistling close to my face, or felt them slash through my clothing, and her speed and strength were far superior to any youkai I'd ever fought in my life. Something about it made me think of the night I'd fought the Seiten Taisei. This woman, whoever she was, had the same kind of monstrous power. Definitely not in as large an amount as Goku had, but it was the same feeling—the same merciless, cruel sensation that I could never escape.

I felt her claws slice my arm and I stumbled back, touching it and feeling hot blood. She kept coming forward, kicking at me with her heavy boots and getting me once in the forehead.

Vision blacking out for just a second, I staggered backward, trying to get my senses together. When I could see again, she had an aura of bright purple balanced on her right forefinger. It was only the size of a melon, but the way it crackled and glowed told me that it was an intense blast. The smile on her lips made my stomach flip.

Chi. I'd come across very few youkai who could use chi the way I could.

Laughing quietly, she released it, and it came at me. Fast.

I yelled and put my hands out in front of myself, struggling to put up a barrier before the ball of purple light struck me. I managed to do it just in time, but the power of her chi reacting with mine set off a sudden explosion, and I was blow backward anyway, thrown a few yards.

The wind was knocked out of me I landed so hard, and my head struck a rock, and for a second or two, I was utterly dazed, unable to move, head rolling back and forth. I heard her approaching, vaguely made out the shape of her shadow.

Hakkai…get up…this is no time to…

Cold fingers fisted in my shirtfront, lifting my shoulders up off the ground.

I growled out of pure reaction, youkai instincts fighting to surface, as they so often did when I found myself in a difficult fight. I lashed out at her with an open hand, forgetting for a second that I didn't have claws. I felt completely feral—cornered like an animal, trying to fight even when it was futile.

Her face hovered close to mine, bright eyes closed with cruelty, smile gashing her face. I saw that her tongue was hanging out. She leaned down closer, that black mouth opening up and revealing milk-white teeth as she closed in for the kill.

It struck me suddenly. She thought I was a human. But that meant she wasn't an assassin, because then she'd know I was a youkai. Who in the world was she? Could she really be just a random youkai who had nothing to do with the revival?

Not that it mattered. Unless I was able to make my limbs move again, she was going to tear into me, and I couldn't count on the others to wake up in time, let alone to realize what was happening and get here on time.

Suddenly, she stopped, gasping slightly, "You…"

I stared coldly into her beautiful face. Something about those green eyes made me think of Kanan.

"You're a youkai." The smile deepened. "Aren't you?"

"Are you going to kill me?" I demanded coarsely. "I don't recommend leaving me alive."

"Kill you?" Her features were thoughtful now, a bit softer, like she was thinking, and the smile had faded. It came back instants later, "No. I don't think I'll kill you. There's much use for a youkai as powerful as you are."

She leaned forward again, and I was still immobilized. There must have been something about her attack that made it impossible to move. Try as I might, I couldn't lift so much as a finger.

The others. Where are they?

Her lips brushed softly against mine, a smooth, gentle movement.

I gasped. It was the last thing I'd been expecting. I tried to tilt my head away, but it was no use. She was insistent.

Her tongue snaked across my lips, sliding into my mouth and infiltrating every corner, gliding over every surface, and I had to just lie there, helpless in her arms.

Slowly, she pulled away, leaving me more dazed than ever, and her fingers touched my left ear, long fingernails tapping against my power limiter. I felt her snap one off.

"What are you doing?" I demanded, making another feeble attempt to push her away.

"I want to see what you look like—your true form."

"Get off of me!" I shouted, beginning to panic. If she took my limiters off I wasn't sure what I'd do. Hopefully it wouldn't matter. Hopefully it would simply grant me the power I needed to finish her off. But I was afraid that if I got caught up in a fight, even against another youkai, I might not be able to control myself. I might go berserk.

She snapped off the second one and toyed with the third. "The humans have enslaved you. Don't you want to be free?"

"Don't." I ordered, but I felt too weak to make any real threats.

Her lips were against mine again. Something about them was sweet, but dangerous, like poison. I could feel myself giving in. Something about the kisses aroused the youkai in me, dragging it to the surface, making me want to remove the last limiter myself, to be really free, as a demon.

She began to remove the last cuff.

"Hakkai!" It was Goku's voice.

Thank God.

It startled her and she turned away to look.

He was staring, like he couldn't figure out what he was seeing. Gojyo and Sanzo were right behind him, eyes huge. "What the-"

It gave me just enough time to get my senses together, and with all my might, I looked for the strength inside myself, harnessed it, using it to kick her off.

She cried out in surprise, and I lurched to my feet, breathing a little hard, ready to kill. Kill. Kill.

"Hakkai?" Goku asked softly, "Who th' heck is this?"

"I'll explain after we've killed her." My voice…so dark. Much darker than normal.

"Hakkai?"

The woman stared at me for a moment, then flashed that smile again, "You kill me? I find that unlikely."

"It's entirely possible." I returned, finding that I too was smiling, though I wasn't sure why.

Sanzo stepped forward, aiming his gun, "If he doesn't, I will."

She laughed, a sound strangely similar to broken glass, "As much as I'd love to continue with this charming interlude, that seems impossible as long as your friends are present. But don't worry." She backed away several steps, "As long as Genjyo Sanzo lives, you'll never see the last of me. And now," her eyes glittered, "I may have other motives for seeing you again, my pretty boy."

Furiously, I leapt at her, chi burning on my fist, fully intending to tear her apart.

Seconds from impact, she vanished in a flash of purple smoke. It was thick and smelled like magic. I choked on it.

"She vanished." Goku looked around a second, and then suddenly pointed up at the sky, "Guys, look!"

I craned my head up, following his gaze.

Far off in the distance, overlapping the moon, I could make out the silhouette of a woman with long hair, simply hovering in the sky. And then, a second later, she was gone.

As soon as she was out of sight, I fell to my knees, shaking as I fumbled for my limiter cuffs and trying to make sense of what had happened. I felt so…wild. My blood was hot, raging, as if anticipating a fight, and there was more to it than violence. There was something in me that hadn't been touched ever since Kanan had died. Something had awakened my sexual side, and I felt the unfamiliar burn of lust tugging at the corner of my consciousness as I considered those full, crimson lips on mine.

Is this how Gojyo feels every day?

I was barely aware of my comrades beside me, "Hey, uh, Hakkai? You okay?"

"Yes. I'm fine." I said rather curtly, starting to clip my limiters back on and realizing part of me really didn't want to.

"Who was that?" Goku demanded.

"I have no idea. Just a youkai who wants to kill Sanzo, I suppose. I'm sure we won't have any more trouble from her as long as we stay together."

Sanzo snorted. "What a ridiculous notion."

Goku sounded reluctant, "She was…kissin' ya', wasn't she?"

I was silent a moment, not wanting to think about it, "Yes, I suppose so."

"An' you were kissin' her back."

That part startled me, and I looked up at them, "Excuse me?"

He seemed troubled, "I mean, I don't know much about kissin', but it looked like ya' were kissin' her back…the way ya' were…" he blushed suddenly. "Gojyo?"

"Yeah." Gojyo said quietly. His voice sounded strange in the night, and I couldn't see his face. "You were definitely kissing her back."

Could that be true? I didn't remember kissing her back. Had I done it without realizing?

How strange.

"Never mind, Goku." I said, getting to my feet, "It doesn't matter."

"Doesn't matter? But Hakkai-"

"The monkey's right, Hakkai. How does this not matter?"

"It just doesn't. I suggest we all forget about it and go back to sleep."

Goku and Gojyo both seemed reluctant.

I turned to Sanzo, "Sanzo, perhaps as long as that youkai is around, someone ought to stay awake and keep watch."

Sanzo was looking at me warily, but he nodded.

"In that case, I suppose I might as well-"

Gojyo shoved me suddenly, "I'll do it."

I looked at him, "What?"

"Me. I'll keep watch." He was lighting a cigarette, not looking at me.

"You? But, Gojyo—"

"Naw, it's cool. I'm not feelin' very tired anyway."

"You sure you can handle it?" Sanzo sneered.

Gojyo ignored him, sitting down by the fire. It took me a second to realize he had his shakujou out, "If that bitch comes back, she'll have to deal with me."

I remembered how strong she had been and doubted Gojyo would be able to handle her all alone, but didn't say anything, because honestly I was relieved. I didn't want to stay awake alone now. Something about that woman deeply disturbed me.

I smiled, regardless of how hollow or worthless the expression felt, "Very well. Thank you for offering, Gojyo."

It took a moment, but the others lay back down, and before long, they were both asleep. I sat up a little longer, and Jeep came to curl up beside me, resting his head on my thigh, and I stroked his ears and stared into the fire.

Gojyo didn't speak the whole time, and I had nothing to say either. My mind was full of worry now, especially when there was a bloodthirsty youkai after Sanzo. If she wasn't a regular assassin, who in the world was she, and why was she after Sanzo? The only thing I could think of was that maybe she had something to do with the fight from earlier.

But her eyes and the way she'd touched me, the way she'd kissed me, something about it reminded me of Kanan. The reminder was incredibly painful, even when I'd thought I'd finally gotten past those terrible memories. The only way I'd ever been able to overcome those memories had been with the aid of my friends. Living with Gojyo had changed a lot for me, and I'd finally been able to come to terms with my grief. He was constantly reliable and always willing to help if he could. Just like now.

Sanzo too had provided the opportunity for me to live in peace, and Goku was always a bright, cheerful companion, capable of alleviating me from any kind of depression or stress.

How could the appearance of one female youkai, whose name I didn't even know, be enough to shatter all of that peace and make me feel like I'd lost Kanan all over again?

Normally, I was able to mask my emotions fairly well, and talking it over with someone didn't help much, but right then, I really wanted to tell Gojyo all about it.

I glanced at him.

After all, what was the point in having a best friend if I couldn't tell him things?

"That woman." I said after a while. "What do you think she wants with Sanzo?"

He breathed some smoke out, "Sanzo killed her brothers I guess. Yesterday—that clan we fought. That was hers. We finished them off today."

"I see." I said quietly.

"What about you Hakkai? What do you think she wants with you?"

"Oh. I don't know…she didn't exactly say."

"They never do."

"No. I suppose not."

But I already feared that I knew what she wanted. To see me as I really was. To see me in my true form. As a youkai.

I looked around the cold night and shivered, trying not to think about what would have happened if she'd succeeded.