Tuesday- 9 p.m. This post-apocalyptic world lit by the still thriving moon.
*WHAM!*
Luffy knocked down a door to a small seemingly poor house. "Yeah,... I thought so..." he was thinking out loud to himself as he rummaged through the 2 room shotgun house. "W-What are you looking for?" Chopper stood in the doorway of the house. Luffy continued ransacking the place, "Anything that can help our sorry asses as we trek though that damn desert we half to take to get to England." Chopper looked at him peculiarly, "The China Desert?" Luffy now look in all the cabinets and under the blankets that made the pallets for beds. "Yup, exact one. The old man and his citizenship was the only thing that was going to get us on a plane out of here, now...... well," he hesitated to say it because he knew Chopper would cry again and that was to annoying to hear twice. Or at least that would be Luffy's excuse for it, "We just have to cross the desert now. But don't worry, we can survive the long journey, blistering day and deadly cold night as long as we have........ something." he continued badgering around. Chopper again looked at Luffy with insane eyes. "Why can't you just use YOUR citizen passport?...... Wait! You don't have one!?!" Luffy was unphased at the 'reveal' of his illegality, "Man, when you're a mercenary, you can't let petty things like Citizenship, or Being Legal or "being a threat to society" be the first thing on your mind. You do what you can."
"IS THIS EVEN YOUR HOUSE!?!? You're stealing!"
"Stealing is so....... truthful.... just think it like this: "Taking away from others so YOU can survive". Your conscience feels better that way."
"NO IT DOESN'T!!"
"....... Yeah,.. Guess not, aw well."
"WHAT?!?!"
Luffy finished his raid of the small shack of a home and continued down the road. Chopper not believing he is following him, or that Hirulock s last words still encouraged this man as Chopper's protector.
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"Damn it. We lost them." The Srg. was in a deep depression as it was, "Great! First my dick-hole ex-step son gets killed and now I have no Merc or freaky Dr or kid to show for my battle scars!"
2nd in Command, Bobby and 3rd Command Larry were sitting in the background with the rest of the surviving team talking about their leader's current 'condition'. "So...... You think the Srg. is gonna have a nervous breakdown and you get to be in command?" Lenny asked his "Partner in Crime"
Bobby thought about it for a moment, "I hope not, I'd have more duties and responsibilities if that happened. Isn't that why you turned down the offer to become 2nd in command of this team and gave it to me?" "Oh,... Right."
"Well, no since in crying over dead step-sons. 2nd Command Robert! 3rd Command Lenard! Get your glorified asses up here! Front and Center!"
Lenard, a.k.a Lenny was the first to 'respond' "Yes Captain George." he saluted in a mocking manner.
Srg was out raged. "What did you call me?!?!"
"Well sir, you were being so formal I was flattered and decided to 'return the favor'." he said the last part kind of flirtatiously. This got a suppressed laugh form Robert, a.k.a Bobby.
"Lenard. Don't you EVER call me that again. I am Sergeant First Class George Montgomery Ahab! You are to address me as Srg. Ahab!"
"PPFFFFFFTTTTTTT!!!!" Both Bobby and Lenny immediately got the 'joke'. Trying to hold on to their laughter but were failing miserably. "What is so god damn funny?"
"Pfft!... N-nothing Srg.,.... by the way.... pft!... Can we call.... hehahaha!.... Can we call you Captain Ahab!?"
Bobby exploded, "PPPFFFTTTTT HEHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"
"I don't get it!? What is SO FUNNY!??!" the Srg. or Captain was furious now. "My name is a glorious name! Passed down through the generations. Now quit lolly-bitchin and let s find our target!"
"Pffftt,..! Right sir of course. Hehaha,...!....... By the way ... pfftt! Is our target Moby Dick sir!? Pffftt HAHAHAHAHA!!!" Bobby too laughed hysterically.
"Now you're just being an ass-wipe there Lt. Our target is that weird doctor the freaky furry kid and the straw hat merc. Moby Dick is that big ass wale in a book that gets chased by that captain Ah-"
Now the Srg. got it, "That 's not funny MAGGOTS!!!!"
Lenny and Bobby's laughter died down, "Ehhahaha-ha-ha... Oh... Ha,.. Right, ha, sorry sir." They were both out of breath from breathing so hard.
"My, my. Sir, I do believe this is NOT the way 2nd and 3rd command officers should act Sergeant."
Lenny rolled his eyes, and Bobby took a sigh of annoyance, "What a douche..." They both turned around to see Dale. "Jesus Dale. I believe the Srg. said 2ND and 3RD COMMAND, not A-hole Lackeys."
Dale snickered, "Yes, but I think the Srg. would like BETTER company than you to fools."
Srg. shook his head, "No, he's right Private Dale. 2nd and 3rd command only! No douchebags!"
All three men were shocked that word came out of the Srg.'s mouth about dale. Bobby and Lenny knew it was true but that Srg. agreed!?
"W-w-what sir?" Dale was destroyed inside.
"You heard me! I can't have a duce in my high command. And I've heard all to well what the boys think of you."
Bobby and Lenny smiled and began to laugh lightly, "Good for you sir! Hahaha! You heard him, hit the road douche!" Lenny howled.
Dale was angry at Lenny, "But sir! What does what THEY say matter to you!?!?"
"Because! There my men!"
"But so am I!! And you can't NOT give me a high rank just because I 'might' be a douchebag!"
"Details, details! And don't tell me where to put my prejudice preferences! Now, BACK. TO. THE. REAR. FLANK!"
"But-but-but-but"
"NO BUTTS!! If I want an asshole anytime soon, I'll change my religion to sodimy! Now get!"
Dale reluctantly walked away. And Srg. went somewhere to debrief his 'employer'.
"You two keep an eye on things."
"Yes Sir!" Bobby and Lenny saluted.
"Dude!" Lenny was ecstatic, "What was the point of ANY of what just happened!?"
Bobby continued to laugh, but agreed, "I don't know, but it was funny as hell."
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"Get in." Luffy pointed at a car near them. "Wait." Chopper looked suspicious. "Is it YOUR car." Luffy rolled his eyes.. "Yes, now get in." Chopper pulled on the door, "Its locked." Luffy looked at it, "Oh, right." he punched the back seat door window and opened the door, "There you go." as the car alarm went off. "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!?" Chopper's eyes almost popping out again. Luffy just huffed and pulled the alarm wire out of the front as he now had the driver's door opened too.
Then, Luffy saw a flash of light, it was moving. And it was approaching them. "Quick! Chopper! Take your clothes and hat off and get on all fours in the back seat!" Luffy demanded, "WHAT!?!? ARE YOU GOING TO RAPE ME!??!!" Chopper was scared shiftless, Luffy rolled his eyes, "NO! Bestiality isn't my thing, plus you re a minor AND a male. So shut up and do what I say!" he kicked Chopper into the back of the car and slammed the door.
The vehicle that was giving off the light slowed to a stop in front of Luffy and two men got out. Luffy was right to hide Chopper, in big letters above the large truck was U.S.N.A.G - United Surviving Nations Alliance Government.
After the semi-apocalypse in the earlier part of the century, when the nukes went off, all major nations put there differences aside and try and stay alive together and preserve what was left of the human race. And all it took was a nuclear holocaust after all.
The two men now stood in front of Luffy. "We have reason to believe you are a mercenary in possession of illegal cargo. Come with us and comply or you WILL be assaulted." said the BLONDE man. "Don't do anything stupid........ LUFFY!" the LONG NOSED one shouted as he embraced his 'old buddy'.
Luffy laughed as did the two FORMER mercenaries turned Government officers. "HAHAHA! Usopp! Sanji! Been awhile! How's the gov. treating my 'traitorous' friends!?? Hahaha!"
Sanji and Usopp had been best friends of Luffy and partners in the mercenary game since a little over a year now. One day the government caught them and gave them a deal. Naturally as mercenaries, the accepted and had been officers ever since. The only sold out mercs they didn't care about, never Luffy or others (to be named later) they were close friends with. Every once in awhile Luffy would "leak" information to them that caused a huge bust and promotion for the duo and in return, Sanji and Usopp looked away from Luffy's biasness, as long as it didn't involve world domination or catastrophic repercussions for the planet. Witch they never did, not Luffy's style.
Sanji and Usopp stopped laughing after a bit, but the friendly atmosphere stayed, "Good, good. In fact, we just got a pretty sweet job today." Sanji said with pride. Usopp nodded in agreement, "Yeah, turns out there's this old guy who allegedly hired a mercenary to take him and some kind of package out of the country. It's supposed to be in the form of an organic life form." Sanji snorted, "Yeah, ORGANIC, which means it could be anything form a damn plant to a roach to a child."
Luffy became on guard and raised a serious and suspicious eyebrow, "Where are the supposedly headed?" Although they TOO seemed suspicious now that their 'friend' asked the question, Sanji and Usopp answered, "America." Luffy sighed deeply in his head, now he didn't have to shoot and kill his friends. For some reason, he couldn't go back on his promise to that quack Hirulock now.
Sanji and Usopp were still suspicious as to why Luffy cared, "What about you Luf? You got job today." Luffy grinned, "Yup." Their suspicions died with Luffy's open smile, but now curiosity took place. "Doing what?" Luffy continued to be completely relaxed and calm, "London, England." Sanji and Usopp were glad it wasn't where they were headed. "Doing what?" Luffy looked at the back of 'his' car, smile of relief with what he saw, "A buyer wants this... reindeer up there and it pays pretty well." Sanji and Usopp looked into the car.
Thankfully, Chopper obeyed Luffy and was now naked on all fours in the back seat. Completely convincing Sanji and Usopp that he was a normal reindeer. ("Wow. Good thing I listened to Luffy...") a still very much nervous Chopper thought as Sanji and Usopp went back to talking to Luffy. "Well, we got to go, we'll see you later. We probably have to head to America soon." Sanji waved bye as he went back to the truck. "Yeah see ya Luffy." Usopp jumped back in as well and they drove off.
Luffy took one more sigh of relief. "Alright, to the desert we go." He got into the car and started it up from the wires and Chopper put his clothes back on.
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"Is that you final report Srg. Ahab?"
The Srg. spoke though the communications hologram mini projector to his employer, "That's it sir. We found the old man but the kid and the merc have eluded us, but we don't think they'll use the airport so we assume they'll go by car or foot through the China desert."
"Very well, you shall pursue them through the desert. I am sending a bounty for the Reindeer and many will come after him for it. So if anyone besides the strawhat mercenary come in contact with the kid, let them take him, I'm sure they will be doing this because of the bounty and will bring him to me for the reward. As for "StrawHat" Luffy, if they don't.... kill him."
"Yes Sir."
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A man groans in pain then falls to the ground lifeless. "Well, there's to my latest pay." a bald man said as he dropped the now dead man.
*Ring* *Ring* *Ring*
The man looked at his M.J.D.D (Merc Job Detection Device. Name given to it by mercenaries.) "Hmmm, Pretty high for a kid, wait..... half reindeer? Well, the pay is so much..." he smirked greedily, "I won't even ask questions."
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"DAMN THAT LUFFY!!!" The female mercenary walked down the moon lit street.
*Ring* *Ring* *Ring*
"What now!?! I'm to pissed to take a mis- What?.... OH MY GOD!!!" The woman was unbelievably happy at the amount of zeroes at the end of the payment for this job. "Wait a minute.... A half reindeer kid? That looks like the one with Lu-.... oh! I'm gonna enjoy this!"
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"Alright ladies! Were going StrawHat huntin in the desert!"
"Strawhat? In the desert? Why can't you buy one at the store?"
"No BACKSASS! Let's go!"
"Yes sir."
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Luffy continues driving through the desert, they about 40 miles now from the CITY of Japan, NewChina.
Chopper lay asleep in the back seat.
*poof* *poof* *pootttttttt*
The car just ran out of gas.
Luffy: "Shit."
To Be Continued...