Luffy woke from his exhaustion, fatigue, dehydration, and all around pain. "Look who's up." Luffy slowly sat up and looked at his 'savior'. "Ace....... You asshole."
"Portgas D. Ace, mercenary extraordinaire! At your service you shitty little brother of mine." Ace chuckled and walked up to him. It looked like he was going to give his brother a hug..
*WHACK!*
He smacked Luffy on the back of the head, "OW! What the hell was that for!?!?" Ace stood up and pointed at a lump of blankets on the other side of Ace's humble shack, "THAT, is what the punch was for!" The blankets moved, and Nami rolled over revealing herself from under the pile. "NAMI!!" Luffy was now full of glee, "Thank god she's safe."
"GOD!? Asshole I'M the one who saved your asses not HIM." Luffy rolled his eyes, "Ace.... your an attention hogging, greedy dick if you ever have been before." Ace stood as straight with pride, "Damn skippin!" he squatted back down to Luffy, "Soooo..... since we ARE brothers,... I guess I'll help you with what you need, but understand this..." he once again pointed at the sleeping angle, an angel to Luffy anyways, that was Nami, "If she tries to KILL me...." he hysterically grabbed Luffy by his shirt "I'm taking you with me."
"Mmmhmm....." the woman moaned sweetly as she began to wake up. Ace became panicked, "Shit! She's up.... Later." he bolted out of his own home. But Nami had opened her eyes enough to see him, "YOU!" she jumped up and grabbed the nearest weapon or harmful object she could find. Happened to be a gun. Good for Nami. Bad for Ace.
*BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG*
She missed, (she seems to miss all the time, that has to suck) but she followed him with full determination of intent to kill. "YOU WILL DIE HERE PORTGAS!!!" she busted down the door he slammed shut, hoping to slow her down, that did NOT work.
Now outside, Ace ran for his life, but tripped. He looked to see what it was, but saw nothing. He once again became more preoccupied with living and jumped into his car for escape, but that didn't help either.
Nami shot both tires on the driver's side and then shot at Ace, busting the windows of the car. "DAMN IT NAMI! STOP!" Ace tried to reason with her, she smiled in delight as he squirmed, "FUCK YOU!!" and shot at him some more, until the gun ran out of bullets.
Luffy stood at the door way, definately not getting in her way. Nami looked back to him, her angry face disappeared as she looked at him. No look of sorrow on her though, no anger, or anything, a simple, normal face. She did however, grip her gun in anger for she knew what words were about to leave her mouth next, what she was going to say to Luffy. He did, however, earn this. She walked up to him and hugged him, "Thank you Luffy." The hug was light and she pulled off quickly, she smiled and showed him the ammo stick she had just took from him. Sneaky ain't she. "You're off the hook for now." She put the fully loaded ammo stick into the gun and started shooting at Ace again. Who, just got out off the car, thinking it was save. "Holy shit!!!" he jumped back into the car and assumed the fetal poison as rounds were fired once more.
-
After awhile, Nami relaxed, "You're lucky I'm so blissfully happy to be alive, or you WOULD be dead." They all sat at the table eating. Ace wrapped gaws around his left arm as at least ONE bullet mange to hit him, thankfully it was only a graze. "Yeah yeah, yippy-kai-ay! You're alive.... fuckin bitch." the last part was under his breath. Nami clicked her gun, "WHAT was that??"
"Uh, nothing!" he was once again scared for his life. Then he just became annoyed, "Man, why aren t you mad at Luffy too. He may not have used you for sex like I did that one time but... At least I didn't get you arrested and tortured by feds." Nami looked at Luffy then back at Ace, "Yeah... Well at least HE CARED ENOUGH TO BE SORRY FOR WHAT HE DID!!!"
*WHAM!*
She hit Ace with the handle of her gun. "OW! Damn it! Ok, ok, I get it! Shit!"
They then all heard a muffled sigh, it sounded like a child waking up. "Ahhhh... Good morning Ace-san..."
CHOPPER rubbed his eyes open, then noticed the man in the room, "L-L-L-LLUUHUFFFFY!!!!" He ran to Luffy and hugged him tightly. "I KNEW YOU WOULD FIND ME AND WOULDN'T DIE!!!"
Luffy patted him on the back, "Of course not." Then Luffy heard a gun click, "Nami?? What are you doing." She sadly shrugged at him, "Sorry Luffy, he's worth a lot of money..... Maybe... M-Maybe once you could have stopped me from doing something like this to you, but now.... Just give him here, I really don't want to shoot you."
Ace looked in awe, "Whoa, you are a bitch."
*WHAM!!!*
"SHIIIIIT that hurt!!!!!"
"SHUT UP ACE! You asshole." Nami looked back at Luffy, she acted very kind, "Please Luffy, don't fight back, I DON'T want to shoot you." Luffy looked deep into her eyes, "Ok Nami..." Chopper looked shocked, "WHAT!?!? WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?" Luffy looked at him and smiled, "Don't worry, it won't be too long." Nami smirked in disbelief, "Right, DON'T follow us Luffy."
She grabbed Chopper and ran outside, Ace and Luffy followed after.
Outside Nami put Chopper in another car that was outside, "Don't come any closer Luffy, sorry." Luffy just nodded in sarcasm, "Yeah, you're sorry, I get it." Ace shook his head, "I'm sorry too."
He took out a RPG and pointed it at Nami, Luffy and Chopper. Luffy wasn't surprised at this, but didn't think would be a dick this time, "Come on Ace, really? Always looking out for number 1 huh?"
"Super Damn Skippin! Like she said Luf, kid's worth alot of money." Luffy stayed in the way of Ace and his target. Ace rolled his eyes, "Chill out, all of you, and move so I don't shoot any of you."
All three were now VERY confused, they moved and Ace shot of his RPG into the distance. Luffy now saw what Ace was REALLY aiming at, in the distance.
-
-
Martin Johnson, the newest recruit, was on look out duty for the 'Followers', "Um, Srg....."
"What is it peanut rookie!?"
"Uhhhhh, I'm looking at the targets and-"
"Well, SPEAK UP! What are they doing!?"
"Just,... talking, but something is coming this way...."
"WHAT!?! What the hell are you talking about wet ears!?!"
Srg. looked ahead of them, and saw the RPG coming, "Well crap."
Bobby, Lenny, and another teammate, Doug, were standing around, waiting for orders.
Lenny: "So... uh.. Doug right?"
Doug: "Yeah."
Lenny: "Heard, it's your birthday today,.... um... congrats man."
Doug: "Well thank you! I'm glad SOMEONE remembered. Srg. doesn t seem to even notice I'm alive, heheh."
Bobby: "Aw, don't worry about that man. You'll have your chance."
Lenny: "Yeah, don't sweat it, keep you head up high and look forward, you'll get you-"
Just then the RPG hit Doug and he went flying....... then exploded.
Lenny: "..........Well.......... That was utter bullshit."
Bobby: "Dude,... that fucking SUCKED!"
Srg. : "What happened!?!? Anyone got hit!?!?"
Lenny: "Doug's gone Srg."
Srg. : "Who?"
Lenny: "Aw fuck it, you don't GET to know Doug! Doug was the shit! And you.... you didn't even KNOW him!"
Srg. : "..... Lenard, I don't know what homosexual relationship you had with that guy, but I don't like it, so move on to another fudge lover and get in gears!"
Lenny: "Fuck you."
Srg. "WHAT!?!"
Lenny: "I SAID-....!"
Bobby put his hand over Lenny's mouth, "Nothing sir! We'll get on that!"
Srg. : "Good to hear that Lt.! Now, get namy pamy here in beast mode and fast! We're going to WAR!!!"
He charged off towards Luffy and the others.
Lenny: "I REALLY hate that smug bastard."
Bobby: "Yeah, I know, but let's just be 'good little soldiers' now.... and mutiny later, when nothing big is going on and we over throw him out of boredom."
Lenny: "..... Dude, I love that plan."
-
-
It was about an hour now, and the massive shootout between The Mercenaries and The 'Followers' continued.
"Crap!" Ace continued to hide behind the large metal sheet protecting them from the bullets. "What the HELL are we gonna do?!?" He looked at Nami who just ignored him and kept shooting, Chopper was freaking out, as usual. Then he looked at Luffy...... who was 'Zoning Out' again. "Shit, Luffy! We don't need you Zoning right now you crazy bastard."
Luffy sprung up and shot 3 Followers through the broken windows of Ace's car, once again hitting them each perfectly. Luffy went back down and stared out into space once again. Ace couldn't help but chuckled and smile in stupid disbelief, "Haha, W-What the hell are you!??"
ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE GUN FIGHT.
Lenny: "Dude! This is bullshit! Our guys are dropping faster than every Red Shirt in all the Star Treck shows combined."
Bobby: "You're telling me! What's with that Strawhat guy?!??"
Lenny: "You notice though, me and you always get out of these kind of shootings without a single scratch. While guys like Germy here...." he pulled up the guy next to him, who had a strange look on his face, most likely because there was a bullet in his forehead. "...Make the guy who got shot by Dick Cheney say "Damn!"..?" (For the future, I have a lot of modern jokes don t I?)
Bobby: "..... Yeah, I try to look over that stuff.... That way I don't jinx it."
Lenny then got a very crazy look about him, "I say fuck it. No one lives forever!" He go up and started firing of his machine gun, "THIS IS FOR DOUG YOU MERCENARY FUCKERS!!!!"
Bobby was encouraged, and got up and started shooting too, "YEAH!! TODAY WAS DOUG'S BIRTHDAY!!! WHAT THE HELL DID HE DO TO YOU!?!??! DIEEEEEE!!!"
"SHIT!!!" Ace covered his head, "Were getting pepperfucked now!!" Luffy took a deep breath... "Ace.... you still have land mines buried out here right?" Ace looked a little confused, then he remembered that he use to put land mines out so they would either kill or scare people away from his place, but he kept forgetting where they were and set some off a few times. (How he's alive no one really knows, even he doesn't know) "..... Uh.... I think so... but I don't know wher-"
Luffy got up again and shot at the dirt, and surprisingly to everyone, it exploded.
*BBBBOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!*
Srg., Bobby, Lenny, Jeff, Martin, Dale, and the other remaining followers went sailing several hundred feet in the air.
Srg. : "Well! Looks like we're BLASTING OFF AGAIN!!"
Lenny: "What the hell!??! We've never 'BLASTED' off any damn time! What the fuck are you talking about!?!?!?"
Bobby: "Hmmmm, I feel like I've heard that saying before...."
Jeff: "Oh my god!! We're all gonna die when we fall!!"
Bobby: "If I'm correct in where I've heard that saying before, then by the laws (of anime) we will somehow all survive as this is a comedic moment."
Dale: "You're delusional."
Martin: "And you're a douche!"
Lenny: "Heheh-hey, I like this kid. From now on, we'll call you Marty."
Bobby: "Or at least us 'COOL' guys will call you that."
Marty (apparently formerly Martin): "Geez, wow, thanks guys, I really just did it out of spontaneousness, but I really apreciate-"
Lenny: "Ok, now you ruined it. You're still higher up in my scale that fat-ass and the douche, but you blew some MAJOR respect points."
Srg. : "GOOD GOD! WILL YOU BUTT MONKEYS LET ME ENJOY MY SOARING THROUGH THE AIR IN PEACE!!! It's like a gay pride parade 'round here!!"
Lenny: "How?"
Srg. : "A bunch of dicks, pussies and assholes yelling at each other about who they like more and their whiny justifications about it!"
Bobby: "Wow, that was a pretty good comparison Srg."
Lenny: "Good comparison!? That's like the 200th homo joke he's made since we've been in this shitty desert. I think SOME body has homophobiaaaaa..."
Srg. : "Yeah, and somebody ELSE is getting a swift kick up the ass if they don't, SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
-
-
Ace was dumbfounded beyond comprehension, "How..... THE FUCK did you know that land mine was there!?!?" Luffy just smiled stupidly, "I guess like fuck bro."
"WWHHAAAAAAAATTT!!!?!?!????!!?!?!?!!?!!!?!!!"
Luffy's stupid smile stayed, "Weeeell..... Kinda guessed, I saw you trip on something earlier, and knowing you, you placed bunch of land mines NEAR your house, so I assumed that small thing you tripped on was a land mine, but it duded (if that's a word) when just being stepped on. I figured a bullet being fired on it was just enough force to set it off, if it was indeed a land mine."
Ace scratched his head, "Yeah,... That DOES sound like me, glad I've never set it off, so close to my house and it would blow up the better part of it-"
The better part of Ace's house was blown up and Ace JUST now realized it. "MY HOUSE!!! MY FUCKING HOUSE!!!"
Luffy grinned sheepishly, "Sorry...." Ace cocked his gun, "Luffy..... I am going TO KILL Y-.... Oh shit....... Luuuuffy..."
"Yeah?"
"Where's Nami?"
Luffy looked around, Nami was gone, and so was Chopper. "Shit! She took Chopper during the shootout!" Luffy noticed a piece of paper on the ground, he picked it up and read it.
~"Don't come after me and you'll still be off the hook. Hahahaha! Love, Nami"~ her beautiful hand writing decorated the small scrappy paper. Luffy couldn't help but crumble it up, "That...... HOT bitch!"
"DUDE WE GOT ROBBED!!" Ace was just as livid as Luffy.
Then a blue truck rolled up.... and a BALD man stepped out..
"Geez.... this place goes to hell in just 8 hours of me being gone? Ace, what the hell happened?!?"
Luffy turned to the voice, both he and the bald mercenary smiled,
"ZORO!!"
-
-
Zoro Roronoa, once with prominent long green hair, had had it shaven off when he joined the army. This is where he met a fellow soldier by the name of Luffy D. Monkey.
{FLASHBACK}
Zoro stood in line as the new recruits all lined up, ready for inspection. "ALL RIGHT MAGGOTS!! I AM SRG. MAJOR SHUT THE FUCK UP WHEN I'M TALKING!!! OR Mj. STFUWIT (pronounce that as a whole word)........ and YES I am of middle-eastern decent." the hard-ass Major walked by each new recruit, trying to burn their souls with fear. Each rookie had had their head shave........... but one seemingly troublesome kid had not only his hair.... but a straw hat.
"YOU!......" Major Stfuwit looked at his roster, "Monkey D. Luffy?... WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING WITH THAT HAT AND YOUR HAIR MAGGOT!?!?!?!"
Luffy picked his nose with a dull expression, "Fuck dude,... I'm keeping my hair, I like it....... And NOBODY is taking my hat..." He gave the major a very serious look. This enraged Stfuwit, "BOY!!! YOU DO NOT TELL ME WHAT YOU WILL AND WILL NOT DO SO HELP ME GOD!!!" Everyone was staring at the display of pure defiance, especially Zoro, with a grin on his face. Luffy rolled his eyes, "Pft, like God would help you...." "THAT'S IT YOU SHITTY COCKY SON OF A BITCH!!!!!!!!!" He grabbed Luffy's hat and was about to stomp on it. Luffy grabbed him by the chest and kneed Stfuwit in the nuts..... TWICE. Luffy picked his hat up, "TRY THAT AGAIN AND SEE WAHT ELSE I CAN DO MAJOR NO NUTS!!!"
Zoro's grin got wider and wider, "I like him...." although he didn't mean it the way it sounded, the recruit next to him took it the wrong way.... and S-L-O-W-L-Y stepped away from Zoro.
Who later beat the crap out of him for even thinking he was gay.
{ANOTHER FLASHBACK}
Zoro sat down next to Luffy in the cafeteria that same day. "So,... surprised you're not out of here yet."
Luffy chuckled, "Yeah, well they don't have any transportation yet, I'm getting deported tomorrow."
Zoro chuckled as well, "Awesome, I'd get out of this shit hole too, but I don't feel like making an ass of myself. Plus, why not take a few things from here that you can't learn anywhere else right?"
Luffy agreed, "Good idea, wish I thought of that before I took out Major Stfuki or whatever his name was suppose to be."
After awhile, they got up to go hang out somewhere else. Luffy accidently bumped into another new recruit. "Oh,.. sorry."
New recruit: "Naw, it's fine man."
Luffy and Zoro left and the guy Luffy bumped into sat down to a friend of his, "Hey, what's up Bobby."
"Nothing much Lenny."
{END FLASHBACK}
After 4 years in the army, Zoro resign and found Luffy. They became mercenaries together and although most of their jobs had become separate, they always had each other's backs.
Zoro had left Chopper with Ace while he went out in search of Luffy in the desert. Zoro had explained to Chopper his connection with Luffy and that he was in safe hands till he could find him and bring him back.
-
Zoro and Luffy rode in Zoro's truck, heading to the most likely place where Nami went. They left Ace behind because, well..... he didn't want to go.
Ace: "DAMN YOU LUFFY!!! IT'S GONNA TAKE FOR FUCKING EVER TO FIX MY DAMN HOUSE!!!..... shitty little brother...."
Zoro: So, Nami huh? Thought she wanted to kill you or something?
Luffy: Yeah, just trust me when I say she s, a little leant on me for now.
Zoro chuckled, I bet she won t be for long.
Agh, probably. -
-
Chopper sat in the passenger seat next to Nami, she had stolen Ace's other car.
Chopper: "Why are you doing this? Don't you like Luffy?"
Nami cringed a little, " 'LIKE' is TOO strong of a word..... But,... I'll admit he can be very nice...... I just want the money, it's what a mercenary does.... nothing personal kid, hope you understand."
Chopper just sat in the seat, silent.
-
-
Zoro and Luffy came to the city of Balqash, Kazakhstan, a mercenary pit-stop, and where they knew Nami would stop before continuing her journey. They knew they had at least a day before she would leave here. Even being chased or hunted down or sought after, Nami NEVER rushed. The show down between mercenaries was about to start soon. VERY soon.
-
-
"Who?"
"Her name is Nami sir. She says she'll be here within 48 hours."
"..... Not good enough, tell those lousy excuses for 'government' troops to capture the kid immediately and bring him to me...... I want to commence the "ReBirth" as SOON as possible."
"Yes sir."
The men looked out to a large warehouse/lab, at least a mile of 'life pods' in rows of thousands, each containing CLONES of humans, animals........... and whatever that could be sustained inbetween.
.......... Most notably a reindeer child.
To Be Continued.....