Chapter SIx: Finding & Possibly Subduing a Hot Bitch
Luffy and Zoro walked through the slums of the small village of Balqash, Kazakhstan. They looked around for any place that might contain the female mercenary Nami and her recent 'score' Tony Tony Chopper.
Luffy saw some kids annoying a very mean, borderline cruel, old man who was selling food inside his market stand that seemed to be big enough to also be his home. As the kids continued to ask the angry looking man many questions, Luffy noticed a few more sneaking in the back of the stand to steal some food. Classic starving-orphan-trying-to-survive trick. But the old man seemed to have known this would happen. He turned around and punched the kid in the face, and as a little girl tried to steal something, he slapped her hard. The poor orphan girl, most likely not even 8 feel to the ground and started to cry. The older of the band of orphans, and seemingly the leader, tried to fight the man, but he pulled out a gun to intimidate the kids. They all ran away, but the leader looked back one more time and flipped off the old man. Outraged, the man tried to get out of his stand, but the door was jammed and he almost tore the door completely off. As the hinge started to pull off the wall the door was bolted to, the wall itself cracked slightly.
"Damn kids! All fucking orphans need to be killed, ends my pain...." The old merchant walked to the back of his stand and turned on the large as tank to start his oven for food.
Luffy gripped his gun, Zoro put a hand on his shoulder to calm him down, "Don't Luffy. It's not our problem and we don't have the time to make it ours. The kids got away with no REAL damage, get happy for that least that. Luffy sighed, "Yeah...... fine."
Zoro smiled a little and noticed a bar, "Hey! First bar I've seen in almost 2 weeks! I'm gonna go check it out for Nami and grab me a glass while I'm at it. You should keep looking in other places just in case she's not in here." Zoro ran off to the bar with our really hearing Luffy's answer, "Yeah ok."
Luffy went farther down the street to another bar and decided to look in there.
"What can I get you kid?" Luffy sat at the bar and answered the odd bartender who had his hair in the shape of bull horns. "Any beer you got and stake." Luffy replied with a smile. The bartender went to the back to prepare the meal. Luffy looked around, it was your typical bar, full of losers pricks and mercenaries. Sometimes you couldn't tell the difference. Then Luffy saw a very beautiful butt jiggle a few yards at the end of the bar. "Hey.... I know that ass." He then looked up at the woman's chest, and smiled, "I DEFINATLY... know those boobs." He walked up to her with a smile on his face and tapped her shoulder, "Guess I'm not off the hook any more huh, Nami?" Nami turned to him, also a smile on her face, "I knew you would come. It wasn't hard to think you would." Luffy grinned wide, "Yeah..." then his face got serious, "Where's Chopper?" Nami just huffed slightly, "I had to give him away." Luffy became alarmed, "What!?"
Nami sheepishly grinned, but you could also tell that she was mad as giving Chopper away was not part of HER plan. "I was out gunned. My life is MUCH more important than some score." Luffy couldn't believe this, "Who has him now!?"
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"A WHAT!??" The Srg. and his men where behind the building that the bar was in. He was talking to his 'employer'.
"A Robot you imbecile! I've sent one of my... um... 'lesser' powerful ones for you to command to retrieve the child."
Srg.: "But... We got the kid."
"What?"
"Uh.. Yeah... That's what I'm calling you about. We just jumped the girl and seeing how many of us thier were... she just... gave him up."
"....... That's it?"
"Well... she asked for 3,000$ as compensation so I had the fat guy, the douche and the rookie pay her."
"........ Ugh.... You IDOT! She can't LIVE! She spent time with the child! She could know everything about him and if she were to be captured by the government, she could ruin everything!"
"........ Ooooohhh! My bad! We'll go kill her right away sir! Over and out!"
"WAIT! You moron! Wait for the Rob-"
Srg. clicked of the communicator. "ALRIGHT ass-face uglys! We got a hot bitch to fill with led!!!"
Bobby and Lenny looked at their Srg, then at each other, pondering his words, "HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
Srg just rolled his eyes, "Your pussy defiantly is no excuse! We have to kill this chick and then when the mission is over....... LAP DANCES ALL AROUND!!! Jeff's treat!"
All the men cheered like crazy... except Jeff, "Aw man... Why do I always pay???"
Lenny looked at him, "Cuz you're the only one here that rather have food than a girl man."
"Damn it."
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Luffy was angry but couldn't think of what to do. "Why? Why do ANY of this shit?!?" He loved Nami... he'll admit it. But there was something about this job, his promise to Hirulock and to Chopper that made him feel like this was the most important thing in the world right now.
Nami could see this and suddenly, for the first time in a very long time, she felt bad about her actions just because of how someone else felt towards her. "L-Luffy... I'm sorry... And I REALLY mean that." Luffy could see the sincerity in her eyes. ".... Ok Nami... Come on... We can still find Chopper."
*WHAM!!!*
The door to the bar was smashed down as the Followers flooded the building. "Alright sexy lady!" Srg pointed his gun at Nami. "As FINE as you are.... yup, we're gonna have to kill ya." They all started to shoot at her and Luffy.
Luffy grabbed Nami and they hid behind the bar. "Shit, we're too pinned down to maneuver out of this. This isn't like that bar fight, they all have the same target." Luffy was right, they were stuck.
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Zoro walked down the street, now drunk, but functional.... enough. Zoro's drunken, happy face looked ahead of him, "What the hell is going on up there?" The gunshots continued to draw his attention. He then became annoyed, figuring this was all caused by Luffy. He opened the door to the bar, or at least his drunken mind thought he opened the door, "Luffy! What the hell are you......." he then noticed all the men who stopped shooting and was now staring at him, ".......Shit."
Bobby looked at Srg, "Srg?"
Srg: "Yeah... Kill him too."
They all shot at Zoro and it seemed like he was horribly gunned down...... it SEEMED that way.
Suddenly Zoro had crouched down and the shots all missed. He now was below them, with two shotguns in his hands....... and one in his mouth.
"Three Gun Shooting style bitches.... gotta love it." He came up from his crouched possition and shot off all three guns. 5 men fell to the ground.
Lenny: "What. The. FUCK!?!?"
Bobby: "Great, some other jackass with gun skills that make us look like toddlers with pop guns! Fuck it.... I quit." Bobby dropped his gun, did a back flip out of the nearest window, and walked off, "I need a fucking drink."
Lenny: "Wow... And here I thought I was gonna be the first to do something like that." Zoro continued shooting and rolled towards Lenny, he put the tip of one of the shot guns to his face. But before Zoro pulled the trigger, Lenny smiled, dropped his gun, and spoke, "Later dude, this is too much bullshit." He patted a very confused Zoro on the back and left out the front door. "I need a drink too."
Srg couldn't believe his eyes, "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE!?!?!" Everyone shook off the confusion and went back to the important things..... solving their problems, with guns.
Zoro made his way to where Luffy and Nami were hiding, "Hey Luffy, what's up. Oh... See you found Nami... Long time no see ya two-timing bitch." Nami looked as if she was going to kill him. Luffy too thought that was a little uncalled for at the moment, "Zoro!" "What? You do your best for this chick all the damn time and the ONE time you fuck she wants you dead. Hey, Nami, you ever stop and think that his one screw up isn't SHIT compared to all the times you let Ace use you, or Sanji. Maybe Luffy should no bout the time you pretended to be Usopp s wife for his parents for 3 months. Oh, and lets not forget the times you used that ass and those tits of yours to get what you wanted out of me, Luffy and anybody else!"
Nami was shocked, Luffy too, but it was just out of nowhere. And it was all true. Now Nami was feeling worse by the second. Zoro huffed, "Look, I'm saying this all because this isn't about the Reindeer kid. Maybe if we get out of this gun fight alive, it'll be about him again, but right now, Nami you need to nut up and accept that Luffy is the best thing that has and probably ever will be the best thing that has happened to you. And Luffy, dude, just tell the bitch you love her unconditionally, figure out what the fuck to do to get us out of here and let us finish all this shit off with a bang or whatever."
*BANG!BOOM!*
"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?!" Nami and Zoro looked up to see what had caused the noise.
There, now in the middle of the bar was a giant man in white spotted pants, a black shirt, a white spotted hat, and in his hands, a book.
Srg: "I'm gonna take a guess and say this is that Robo-thing the boss was talking bout."
Zoro ducked back down, "Luffy! What do we do now man!?" Luffy seemed to be lifeless as he stared into nothing. Zoro studied Luffy more, then freaked, "Oh shit."
Nami became alarmed, "What!?" Zoro stood up and shot a few rounds and the 8 or so men that were left. "He's zoning out." Nami rolled his eyes at the unnecessary panic of Zoro, he should know Luffy does this thing all the time, "So what?"
Zoro shook his head, "Look! He's not holding his gun!!!" Nami's eyes widened, she looked again and noticed this truth. "....Fuck."
Now, a quick note on Luffy, you may have noticed that he "zones out" a lot. This is due to something you find out about in a later chapter. But there are different ways he 'zones out'. When he has a gun in his hands, he somehow can 'see' his opponents in his mind and know where they are, even if he can't really see them. But..... when he's in a tight spot like this, and he's just sitting there with NO gun........... That crazy son of a bitch is thinking of something that could get everybody killed.... or VERY fucked up.
"Luffy..." Zoro tried his best to be stern and intimidating to Luffy, but it didn't work. Luffy snapped out of his trance and looked at them, "Nami! I need you!" Zoro smirked, but with a slight twinge of annoyance, "Luffy.... I don't think that kind of thing is what you should be doing right now." Luffy huffed at Zoro's obliviousness. "Trust me, stay here, draw fire. Me and Nami are going to get this over with." Nami went crazy, "WHAT?!?!" Luffy grabbed her by the arm and ran as fast as he could through the back door of the bar.
Zoro stayed, complete faith in Luffy, and shot at the giant robot, keeping it from following Luffy and Nami.
Luffy and Nami ran down the now mostly deserted street. Hanging out against one of the buildings was Bobby and Lenny, the newly FORMER special ops agents known as the followers.
Lenny: "Hey... isn't that that dude and that chick who we were shooting at?"
Bobby: "...Yeeaahhh...... They got away. Guess that means the Srg and everybody else is dead... Thank God we weren t in that shit."
Lenny: "Amen."
"Luffy!! Why the hell are we running and to where!?!?!?" Nami was very pissed and confused. Luffy pulled her into an alley way and pulled her close and looked at her with nothing but seriousness on his face. She was contempt with this, almost in a comforting daze as he stared into her eyes.
"Get naked." She suddenly snapped out her comfort, "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST SAY!??!" Luffy sighed that he had to explain, "Get naked and run down the street in that direction, it is very important that you do this and that a very old man sees you." She couldn't believe what she was hearing, "WHAT?!?! WHY THE FUCKING HELL WOULD I DO THAT YOU BASTARD!!??!?!?" Luffy pulled her closer, still completely serious, an uncomforting blush appearing on Nami's face. "I would never ask you anything like this unless I was necessary and that I KNEW no harm would come to you." That tore it, he was to caring for her, for her to say no, "Ok..." The blush was now angry, "Don't look." Now a blush was on Luffy's face, "Yeah... ok."
Nami quickly took off her clothes and covered her breasts with her hands and slightly crossed her legs. "Ok." Luffy was still turned around from her, "Ok,.. now RUN!" She nodded and ran out into the street, her face as red as possible, ("I SWEAR! If the reason turns out to be stupid, I'm going to MASSACAR Luffy.")
Nami continued running, pass Lenny and Bobby.
Lenny: "That..... Was awesome."
Bobby: "I think I went through puberty a second time."
Lenny: "If only Jeff could have seen that. He would finally realize why we like women more than food."
Bobby: "I don't even think THAT could help Jeff's problem."
Lenny: ".....Yeeeah, probably not."
Nami continued running and finally saw the old man her guessed Luffy was talking about. "What... THE HELL!?! You slut! Put some damn clothes on!" The angry man ran out of his stand, or tried too.
The door was once again stuck, "Damn it! Open. Up. You. God. Damn. DOOR!!!-" The door finally opened, but the hinge came completely loose this time and the stand came crashing down with it, food and wood flying everywhere. "DAMN IT!!! I'll get you for this you naked bit-"
*WHAM!*
Luffy had come from behind and knocked out the old man and now casually walked into the man's house and grabbed the large gas tank. Nami was stunned, "That....... was IT!??!!??"
Luffy came out and smiled, "Yeah, thanks Nami! You did great!"
Nami was still blown out of her mind, "What was the point of all that!?!?" Luffy put the gas tank down, "I need this tank to finish my plan. I saw the old man had one, and I notice the door was loose and also connected the stand part of the house. All I needed was an extreme distraction to get the man angry enough to where he would be so mad that he didn't think about the consequences of busting his door down. It would bring the stand down and have the old man distracted more for me to knock him out."
"Why couldn't you just shoot him!??!"
".... Nami, you know me, I don't like to kill 'innocent' people, he was a bastard, but he didn't deserve to die. And another gun fight would take to long." he picked up a machine gun from the rubble, "And he was a fully loaded, trigger happy ODB."
Nami knew he didn't like to kill the 'innocent'.... or let them suffer.
Then something popped in Nami's head, "But WHY did I have to be NAKED!??!?"
Luffy just grinned, so wide, that she couldn't see his blush, "Because you have the sexiest body ever! And what's a better distraction than a beautiful woman and her gorgeous body?"
Nami's whole body was blushing, "Luffy......"
Lenny and Bobby were watching the whole thing from afar.
Lenny: "That guy... is, THE SHIT!.... I wanna work for him."
Bobby: "Hellz yeah. And what s up with that whole, 'I can see things others can't and notice the tinest things to help me in big problems' thing."
Lenny: "Maybe he has like Spider-Sense or something."
Bobby: ".....Or really good peripheral vision."
Lenny: "........Yeah, no, I'm gonna stick to my Spider-Sense theory."
Luffy picked up the gas tank and pointed it at the bar. He could see Zoro fending of the massive robot with his 3 gun style shooting. "HEY ZOROOO!!!!" Zoro looked out into the street aggressively and pissed, "WHAT!!?!?!?!!!!" He then noticed the large gas tank. Luffy chuckled and grinned to himself, "Moooove!" Zoro's jaw dropped and his 3rd gun fell out of his mouth, "......Fuck."
Luffy knocked of the cap of the tank and let it soar down to the bar.
*VVVVVVVVVVVVVMMMMMMMMM!*
Zoro jumped out a window.
The tank passed Lenny and Bobby.
Lenny took a sip of his drink through a straw, "..........Damn."
As the gas tank entered the bar, Luffy shot a bullet at the tank.
I'm sure you can guess what happened next.......
Srg did, "Sweet Michael Jackson's son Blanket's Ghost!!!"
*BBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*
The explosion was massive.
As time passed the dust settled and Zoro came up form a pile of rubble, "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!??!?!!?!"
Luffy just snorted, "You knew SOMETHING like that was going to happen. Besides, you're still alive."
"......... You know what..... I don't even care, you're right. I'm alive and everything is going- HOLY SHIT!!"
Zoro had just realized Nami was STILL naked, "WHY ARE YOU NAKED!??!"
Nami too remembered this and shrieked as she covered herself, "ZORO YOU PERVERT!"
"WHAT?!!?!"
Luffy tried to calm them down, "Come on guys. We now have to find Chopper. Chopper, remember, short, cute reindeer kid.... craps his pants whenever danger happens?"
Suddenly, the main debris from the bar, the giant robot was still operational.... and barley a scratch on it.
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME!??!" Zoro almost crapped his pants.
"Man......." Luffy whined, "...Well... I'm out of ideas."
"DAMN IT!!! I can't BELIVE I'm going die naked!! I just know some FREAK is going to come along and fuck my corpse! GOD!!!! I'm just that sexy... I don't want it to end like this!!!!"
Lenny: "We-he-hell, They're boned."
Bobby: "Yup."
Zoro shot at the robot, but it moved too fast. And just like that........ Luffy, Nami, and Zoro were all knocked unconscious, and in the robot's arms.
The rubble of the bar moved again and Srg popped out like a daisy, "ALRIGHT!! I'm alive. Ok men! If you're NOT dead..... um... make some kind of noise that means you're alive."
Dale: "I'm alive sir."
Jeff: "....Uh, Me too.... need food."
Srg: "Damn it. No one good."
Marty: "I'm alive too sir...... ow."
Srg: "Damn it! Like I said before, no one good!"
Srg looked over at the robot who had just captured their enemy, then at Lenny and Bobby.
"THANK GOD YOU TWO ARE STILL HERE! Quick, take your jobs back before I revoke my invitation!"
Lenny: "No way, fuck you, we don't want our lame ass, underpay, bitch-tit jobs back."
Bobby: "Yeah, I'm good."
Srg ran up to them and got on his knees, "Pleeeeeeeeease!! It'll be a nightmare going back to base with a loser, a douche and whatever the hell that rookie Maivis kid is."
Marty: "Uh, It's... martin... sir."
Srg: "Quite Malory! The big boys are talking!"
Lenny then got a good idea, "I don't know..... you that desperate, maybe you should put it in our best interests."
Srg.: "I will NOT perform sexual favors on ANY of you."
Lenny: "Ew dude! Hell no! I meant like a raise, recognition, promotion without all the down turns of a promotion, like paper work."
Bobby: "Or authority increase."
Lenny: "Yeah, what he said."
Srg thought a minute on his options, "Ok.... When we get back I will say YOU TWO captured the mercenaries and the kid SINGLE HANDEDLY."
Lenny: "Hell yeah! That's what I'm talking about!"
Bobby: "Let's do it!"
Bobby and Lenny were now realigned with the Followers and the headed back to America.
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Usopp and Sanji rode up to a town where they were told by government intelligence was a 100 percent confirmed sighting of the mercenary with the secret weapon of mass destruction.
Usopp asked some people some questions while Sanji looked around.
Sanji noticed several destroyed buildings, "Hey Sopp! Come look at this mess."
Usopp came running up, he too found something very interesting, "I talked to some people and they said they say several people shooting it out over something." Usopp noticed the devastation of the buildings, "Damn! Anyways, look! The all said the most notable was a green haired guy, an orange haired girl and a kid with a STRAWHAT." Sanji pondered all this, "But if Luffy IS caring the weapon.... I don't think he knows it."
"My thoughts exactly."
Sanji then remembered something he saw on his old M.J.D.D he still had active. He looked it up agian, "There!" he pointed at the description of a reindeer child, only 30 reports were given out for his capture by mercenaries and it was first come first serve. The job had already been closed and considered finished as they looked at it. Sanji was pointing at the address, both him and Usopp said it at the same time, "The ENGLAND Company, based out of AMERICA!!!"
Sanji pulled out his phone, "Hello? This is secret agent Sanji........ I need President of the Americas.... Mr. Garp."
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The sacks used to blindfold Luffy and the rest was taken off their heads.
Luffy: "Where are we?"
A man came down stairs.... with Chopper in his hands, "Welcome to America...... I am Professor VEGAPUNK!"
To be Continued....