Chapter SEVEn: Suffering from Insanity? I'll cure You... WITH MY CRAZY!
Everyone was inside the warehouse, Vegapunk, Luffy (tied up), Zoro (tied up), Nami (tied up... AND NAKED!... still), an unconscious Chopper, the Followers, Vegapunk's assistant, and the aluminous robot.
"Vega-what???......Never heard of him." Luffy just looked at the man. He then noticed Chopper in his hands, "Hey! Let Chopper go! And let us out of here you jackass!"
Vegapunk smirked menacingly, "You naive fool.... You have NO idea what this child is capable of.... His potential!, What lies inside of him!, You are a imbecile to not think that this odd creature of obvious hybrid mutation is just a common freak!"
Luffy's face once again turned to an unimpressed feature, "....... Who said I didn't VegasPunk."
The mispronounce of his name did not annoy him, but his faithful assistant in the corner was very angered by the disrespect and wielded his giant broadaxe at Luffy, "Hey! Don't disrespect Vegapunk no ojiki! You shitty merc!"
Vegapunk chuckled coldly, "There is no need Sentoumaru, for such an outburst. Teaching respect is wasted on such filth." Luffy agreed, "Damn right! I don't want you jackasses telling ME what to do! Go eat a bag of tiny dicks, bet you'd like THAT KIND of snack wouldn't you fatty!", he shouted his last words at Sentoumaru.
Lenny laughed and was excitedly impressed by Luffy's retort, "Damn! That's like something I'd say to you Jeff. Why haven't I?"
Jeff stayed small, "....shut up...."
Sentoumaru would have chopped Luffy's head off if it wasn't for Vegapunk holding him back, "Srg Ahab,"
Srg responded, "Yes sir!"
"You and your men's 'services' are no longer needed. The PX1 will show you out and give you your payment."
"Yes sir! Come on boys! Let's blow this joint!"
Bobby: "Sorry sir, no oral sex on the first date."
Lenny: "Yeah, and I smoke joints, not blow them."
Srg: "I swear to god if I don't get better soldiers for hire, I might shoot myself."
Hearing this, Bobby and Lenny pulled Srg's leg even more, hoping it would metaphorically snap off.
Bobby: "Oh yes Lenard, our devious plot for the Srg to commit suicide is working."
Lenny: "E-xcelnt Robert.... soon the whole world will be mine. HAHAHAHAHA!"
Srg: "I hate you two, you're nothing but a pair of rim jobs."
Lenny: "Thank you sir, and we hate you too."
Bobby: "If you're wondering who hates you more sir, It's Lenny."
Lenny: "Guilty as charged."
Srg: "Damn Ass-pixies."
This conversation lasted all the way till the bottom floor of the enormous 8 stories England Company Warehouse. All 6 of the Followers and the PX1 fit in the large elevator as it traveled downward. The Followers stepped out of elevator and stood in the lobby.
Srg: "So.... Where's that sexy pay check?"
The all turned back around to the Robot PX1 and noticed it's mouth was open...... and a large beam charging.
"SON OF A BITCH!!!"
*VVVVVVVMMMMMM-BBBBBBOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*
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The explosion was heard all the way in the 8th floor.
Luffy: "What was that!?"
Vegapunk smiled heartlessly, "The 'no longer useful' sergeant and his men received their 'payment'. After all, I can't have loose strings know of me or this child's existence. It's do DAMN important to be ruined!"
Luffy didn't understand. Zoro, who was quite till now, spoke, "What do you mean!? What does any of whatever the hell this is have to do with Chopper!??!" Nami too spoke, "Yeah! Why are you such a dick!?!? Killing off everyone who comes in contact with him!"
Vegapunk now turned mad, "Because...... I'm going to slit his throat and watch his blood fill the life force of THEM who are worthy!" Vegapunk then flicked a switch on the wall. Revealing the thousands of life pods behind a large see-through glass wall. "W......What.... on earth!!" Even in exclamation, Zoro's dry throat was almost voiceless. Vegapunk began to laugh wildly, "HEHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! You see it!?!? MY CHILDREN!!! Beautiful, aren t they???"
"You see, I have been searching and searching and searching and SEARCHING! for THE perfect being, one that cannot die from anything but old age, because, let's face it, mortality seems to be so out of reach. But the length of your life if not a SINGLE ailment can cross you? Not even the diseases that come with old age? Marvelous! However...... until recently all my attempts failed. Then, I found that fool Hirulock. It seemed his insanity and pitiful meaning of existence was what helped him find the answer. But he simply wanted to find a 'CURE' to the nuclear mutations. I want to do recreate the world. Imagine, we sit around content with the world we've destroyed, only content because we're still ALIVE! Humans are vile creatures, our down fall should have been fully executed centuries ago. But instead, we rot, most likely waiting for our next apocalypse. So I say..... let THAT apocalypse, BEGIN!"
Vegapunk then flicked another switch and revealed what was thought to be long existent....... an atom bomb.
"The LARGEST ever made. EVER. Not even that idiotic president knows of it's existence. Now, with this boy in my hands, I will fuse his blood with my 'children' and set off the bomb. You see, Tony Tony Chopper as you call him has 37 different species' blood inside of him. According to Hirulock's research, Chopper is the first vessel to be transfused with different types of blood, spawn form Hybrid Theory and then..... injected with nuclear radiation and survive. He is a breed born of no disease, nothing can kill him but age and those useless traits of humans. Rage, jealousy, anger, sorrow, pain, without those, death is NOT inevitable. Instead LIFE is far stretched beyond imagination. I will wipe out the GREATEST disease known as mankind and have my hybrid children rebirth the world in awe! You see!?!?! This radiation that spread in the later century and is almost consuming us is not anything short of the REAL 'salvation'! The mutants in those areas are not the freaks or spawns of evil. Instead, they are ahead of the curve and we HUMANS are the spawns of evil. This boy is the carrier of that VERY radiation that will END humanity and bring the TRUE light to our darkened world! MARVILOUS! MARVILOUS! MARVILOUS! HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Zoro and Nami were horrified, truly no one so psychotic exists in this world. Someone so hostile, thoughtless and cure to his OWN species.
Luffy.... just got angry, "FUCK YOU VIGINAPUKE!!!" Vegapunk and Sentoumaru looked on at Luffy in unsettling confusion, they did not expect an uproar at this plan, only fear and panic. "You think I give a shit about your gay-ass vendetta to the fucking human race!?!? Free the world of the 'human disease'??? That's what you're basically saying right? WHAT THE FUCK IS FREE ABOUT IT!?!?!!?! All I hear is one fucked up race being killed off for another to take its place. You're "children" will LEARN and you'll be right back where you started. One thinks different. You kill him to silence his teachings, simple. Then someone else questions your reason for his death. Kill him. Then another questions. Then another. Then another. Kill. Kill. Another. Another. Kill. Now one doesn't question... he RISES. Takes action, maybe as FAR as rebellion. If you're lucky YOU'LL die of old age before you see your 'precious' world you created destroy its self..... You experience this... and you'll just TRUELY know how GOD feels....... So I say, FUCK YOU! and your damn insanity." Luffy stood up and smirked, "Crazy is cooler anyway, and for the past 30 minutes I've been thinking up a way to shove a whole lot of it up your ass."
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The lobby is torn, shredded and pretty much sodimized. The Followers had just gone through an epic battle. (And you don't know what happened, HA!)
"DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE!..... You dead yet?" Srg finally got tired of hitting the severed head of the PX1 with his gun and went back to his men. Somehow they had not only survived but completely DESTROYED the robot. "Alright boys... there's only six of us from our original.... uhhhh... Robert! What was our original number?"
Bobby: "47 sir."
Srg: "What the hell is with that gay ass odd number!? Next time we have an even number of men or we get enough guys to make it even. And I don't mean just up one for like a gay even number like 48 or 36 I mean a MAN'S even number like 50, 70, 100 or 69."
Marty: "Um... 69 isn't an even number sir."
Srg: "Yeah.... but it's still a SWEET ASS number!"
Lenny: "For once we agree."
Jeff: "I don't get it."
Lenny: "Of COURSE you don't."
Dale: "And what if we can't find enough men Srg. Ahab?"
Lenny: "Wow, kiss-ass and a downer at the same time, good old "What a douche" Dale."
Dale: "Hey, I believe your boyfriend over there is horny, go fuck him then go fuck yourself."
Bobby: "You want gay? I'll shove something up your ass... and it WON'T be my dick, plus it with be larger and more painful." Bobby cocked his gun.
Srg: "If we can't have an even number of men next time then we will simply have to kill them off till we have a 'cool' even number be the elimination of one of the 3 depending on my mood, whether it be Arm wrestling or Rock, Paper, Scissors tournaments or musical chairs."
Marty: "Isn't that a little.... EXTREME?"
Dale: "Shut up noob, you don't get to question our boss's decisions."
Lenny: "But I do. Two things Srg. One: That IS a little too much. And two: How the fuck has Dale lived so long in our band of 'quick-to-die', easy-ass targets?"
Srg: "Your guess is as good as mine."
Dale: "B-b-but-but-but Srg!"
Srg: "GODDAMN IT! Again with that bitchy stuttering! Go to the back with the other men."
Dale: "WHAT OTHER MEN!?!? There is only 6 of us left and we're all right here in a damn circle taking about NOTHING!!!"
Srg: "Jesus (He pronounces it like 'hey-sus') Christ! Did your panties get in a bunch with your period blood or something?"
Lenny: "Whoa, Srg, the blood thing was WAY too far... even for DALE."
Bobby: "Yeah.. for real, we usually just stick to PMSing or something like that. Talking about the leakage is gross."
Srg: "Ah you are all a bunch of pussies. The woman's period is a beautiful thing, start to finish."
All (even Jeff, huh): "AHH! God! Ew! Dude that's gross!"
Lenny: "Chill OUT man!"
Dale: "I completely agree sir."
Srg: "Didn't I tell you to GO somewhere?"
Dale: "But..."
Srg: "NO BUTTS! Butts are for queers and rapists..... and the Amish."
Marty: "Actually sodimy is against our religion."
They all look at Marty.
Lenny: "OUR religion?"
Mary: "Well.... my family is Amish, I went through Rumspringa and well.... never went back."
Lenny: "Huh... well how bout that."
Jeff stares stupidly at Marty: "You don't LOOK Jewish."
Srg: "A-n-y-waaays.... You! Douche McCoy! In a corner or something, NOW!"
This time Dale didn't argue and stood with his nose in a corner of the building.
Lenny: "Hahahahaha! This is AWSOME hilarious!"
Bobby: "Man, if only YouTube still existed I would so put this on there."
Srg then got very serious, "Now! There s only 5 of us from our original band of 47-"
Dale: "I'm still here!"
Srg: "DON'T INTERRUPT ME!!!"
Lenny: "If ONLY we had a dunce hat to put on him."
Srg: "Now... my question is.... you boys still want the money THAT SON OF A BITCH OWES US!?!?"
All (except Dale, he's not allowed): "YEAH!!!"
Srg: "YOU WANT TO KICK SOME ASS!?!?!"
All (except Dale): "YEAH!!!!"
Srg: "YOU WANT LAP DANCES AFTER WARDS!?!?!?"
All (except Jeff) (and Dale): "YEAH!!!"
Jeff (quietly): "...I want food..."
Srg: "GOOD! Now I have one more question for my soldier boys!!!"
All (in 'true' military fashion) (except Dale): "AND WHAT IS THAT SIR!?!?"
Srg: "One of ya'll will have to take all this dynamite I suddenly have, rig it up throughout the entire building and set it off....... So which one will it be?"
Silence.
Srg: "No takers? Well then..... guess we'll just have to decide this by......... MUSICAL CHAIRS!!!"
Lenny: "Guess you'll lose, eh Jeff?"
Jeff: "You know what?! FUCK YOU Lenard!"
Lenny: "Whoa... Dude I-"
Jeff: "NO! SHUT THE FUCK UP! Give me that goddamn dynamite! I'll show you who's a fucking pussy Lenard!"
Jeff ran off UP THE STEPS to go throughout the building to place out dynamite.
Bobby seemed to begin to cry: "Jeff finally got his balls man..."
Lenny also began to "cry": "No... he's always had them... but now... they've finally dropped... He grew up so damn fast.... I... I didn't realize he was slipping away."
Suddenly, hidden doors opened everywhere, "Ooooooo So SCARY these men are....These men are.... These men are...."
Hundreds of robots appeared, however they did not look like the PX1.... instead, the all were normal sized men, wearing sunglasses and yellow and white striped blazers.
Bobby: "Hey... these guys all look like Kunie Tanaka when he played Barsilono in the 1970's Japanese Movie Truck Yaro!"
Lenny: "Kunie Tanaka? You mean the Japanese actor who has appeared in such movies as Kwaidan, Sanjuro, The Bad Sleep Well, Minna no Ie, and Gakko?"
Marty: "Also has been nominated for five Japanese Academy Awards, winning the Best Supporting Actor statuette for Gakko in 1993."
Lenny looks at Marty: "I didn't know you were a Tanaka Fan!"
Marty: "His is a GREAT Actor!"
Bobby: "I know what we're watching on movie night."
Srg: "I'm personally a Yusaku Matsuda fan when it comes to actors of the Japanese filmography myself."
Dale: "I like Bunta Sugawara."
Srg: "NO ONE ASKED YOU!!"
Dale: "....."
As they continued to talk (morons) the robots attacked, "Yasakata no Magatama!!!!" and they all fired laser beams.
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Vegapunk heard the explosions and knew it only meant the Followers had survived PX1 and was now gunning for revenge. He looked at Luffy who had just cussed him out and made philosophical since. "Well it seems a thinker like you would understand my point of view, but you are to blinded by your weak attachment to 'your' humanity to understand my reasoning. So I wish you the best of you last hours of life for you will spend it here with your friends. As he left for the emergency elevator he notices the still naked Nami and smirked. "Sentoumaru if you please." Sentoumaru understood and slung Nami over his shoulders, "HEY!! LET GO YOU BASTARD!!!" Both Nami and Luffy shouted at the same time. Vegapunk smiled evilly and taunting at Nami, "I will need someone to mate with... You don't think I'll breed with my 'children' do you?" Nami screamed in horror, but it became muffled inside the elevator.
Zoro looked at Luffy "What the hell are we going to do?!?!...... Luffy?" Luffy just stared at the elevator with a blank stare.... he wasn't Zoning out.... because that required KNOWING what he was going to do next.
To Be Continued....