Okay, here we go.

Dokugakuji

"What do you think, Dokugakuji?"

"Hard to say." I sighed, scanning the woods. "Everything's peaceful now."

"It's broad daylight. Maybe later tonight…"

"Kou, he was injured pretty bad last we saw him. Do you really think he'll come looking for a fight?"

"Ryptcore's insane, my friend." Kou was also looking all around, only he looked like a prince, walking confidently, chin up, not jerking his head back and forth like a squirrel. "Last I was aware, his brain doesn't register pain, and he doesn't feel remorse, or fear for that matter. That's what makes him such an efficient killing machine." His voice was calm too, but I knew he was more concerned than he was letting on.

"Think we can actually kill him?"

"If those four get their act together, I'd say we have a fighting chance."

We were walking a ways apart from the Sanzo ikkou—a few hundred feet behind them, I'd say—watching them carefully. Man, they were nothing but a noisy bunch of kids, if you asked me. Oh, sure they had their strengths, and it wasn't like they weren't formidable rivals to have, but at the same time…from a distance, if you didn't know them, I think you wouldn't expect that such a goofy group of boys would be so hard to kill.

Goku was always squawking about food, and Gojyo whined about having to walk when his ribs hurt, and sometimes they'd squawk and whine at each other about something incredibly, unbelievably stupid. Then Sanzo would get a giant paper fan out of God knows where, and smack them both upside the head, scream until the woods were shaking. Did that make them knock it off? Hell no. Then they'd just squawk and whine about that instead, until he got out his gun and threatened to shoot them.

It was happening right in front of my eyes, even as Kou and I were having our serious conversation.

"Ah, you're all talk." Gojyo scoffed. "You don't have any ammo, and we all know it."

"I. Will. Beat you senseless with this gun, Gojyo. Trust me, it will hurt much, much worse than the fan."

Then the two of them started bitching at each other—which sounded a little more serious than the way Goku and Gojyo had been bickering—and that went on a long, long time, until I think everyone within a five mile radius was sick of it.

Hakkai was the only one who was ever quiet. For the most part he held normal, polite conversations with anyone who started talking to him, and occasionally laughed at one of his friends' expense. Hard to believe he was the same person as the youkai we'd seen the other night.

"Are they always like this?" I muttered.

"I think so." Was Kou's stoic answer.

"How pathetic are we if we can't even take the sutra from this idiotic, little field trip?"

Kou just shook his head.

Still…I could tell from watching them that there was a lot going on beneath the surface. As Gojyo had so aptly put it, there was 'a lot of shit' going on. I couldn't completely put my finger on it, and I didn't know any of them well enough to pinpoint the details, but none of them were themselves, exactly. I didn't know if it was because of Ryptcore, or if he was just the last straw for them. Either way, it wasn't good for team dynamics. Kou and I had both decided that, at the moment, as a group, they were abnormally weak, and individually, they were more vulnerable than usual.

It would have been a good time to take the sutra, if Ryptcore weren't running around. Unfortunately, we needed this noisy group of kids to help us rid the world of that psycho forever.

Oh, you're not fooling anybody. I thought. There's only one reason you care about getting rid of Ryptcore.

Hell, if that bastard wanted to run around and wreck the world, who was I to stop him? It's not that I didn't care, exactly, but as long as he didn't come banging on the gates of Houtou Castle, trying to kill Kou and Yaone and Lirin, it wasn't my place to go out and pick a fight with him.

The thing was, I knew he was specifically hunting down the Sanzo Ikkou. Which wouldn't matter. If only my goddamn brother wasn't part of the goddamn Sanzo Ikkou.

That would be ideal. Then Kou and I could just go home, let Ryptcore deal with Sanzo, and maybe, just maybe, get Kou's mother back.

So, I guess all that bullshit I'd told him, about not thinking Sanzo could win this war, and him being underappreciated because he happened to be the one gathering firewood last night, was just…well, bullshit. I was really hoping he'd listen to me and just stay with the hanyou group, wherever it was they were going. It was stupid. It was really, really stupid. But it was the only way I could think of to keep Ryptcore from killing him.

Honestly, I didn't want to fight Ryptcore myself. And I definitely didn't want Kou fighting Ryptcore. The difference was, it was my responsibility to protect Kou—my job, if you wanted to put it that way—and it wasn't my business to protect Gojyo anymore. Not that I wouldn't, if I thought I could, just…he wouldn't want me to.

It was a lot of complicated sentimentality, and in the end, I knew that there was really nothing I could do to protect Gojyo, from Ryptcore or anything else.

I guess it would be nice if I could get it out of my head that I had some right to that in the first place. If I could just get over the fact that he was my little brother, and that I'd basically raised him, and if I could stop thinking about how Mom used to beat him, and that look on his face as she stood over him with the axe…

A shiver shot down my spine.

There was no forgetting that shit. For years now, I'd distracted myself from it by serving Kou. Not that I wasn't completely devoted to Kou and Lirin and Yaone. But having them to worry about made it easier not to think about Gojyo, not to worry about what he'd done and where he'd gone after I left, and not to wish there could have been some other way. Being a few hundred feet from him made it just about impossible not to think about.

"You're brooding." Kou informed me calmly.

"Brooding? No."

"I can see it in your eyes."

I met his gaze, nonchalantly, "Well, Ryptcore's kind of a big deal, isn't he?"

"More than any of us realize, but you're not thinking about Ryptcore."

I didn't answer. It would be a waste of time to lie to him. Kou was a perceptive, intelligent guy, and I refused to do him the disrespect of lying to him blatantly.

"Sha Gojyo doesn't look very much like you." He said after a while.

"Naw. He looks a lot like my father did."

"I see. Did you take after your mother?"

I suppressed a sigh. I didn't really like discussing my family life with Kougaiji. In truth, if I could have things my way, I'd just forget anything had ever existed before I met Kou. "I guess I did. Hard to remember now."

"Hm."

No wonder she hit him. It would really suck…looking at some kid that wasn't yours, seeing your husband's features on him.

"It's not a good excuse." Kou said, like he was reading my mind.

I thought about how that bitch, Gyokumenkoushu, treated him, for more or less the exact same reason. Not that she treated Lirin nicely either though.

"No." I murmured.

Our eyes locked again, and I knew he could feel where my thought process was coming from. Eventually, he looked away. "I wouldn't worry too much. These four are ridiculous, but they do a good job of staying alive, and by some miracle, they manage to look after each other."

I wondered if any of them thought about it that way at all. Looking after each other wasn't their priority. At least, that's what they'd say, if you mentioned it to them, but any outsider could see that they had complicated team dynamics. Pick one out when he was weak and attack him, and you'd better hope and pray the other three spared your life.

It seemed stupid and pointless to me to even bother hiding how much they all mattered to each other, when anyone could see there was little else that did matter to any of them.

I'd seen Gojyo with Goku and Hakkai this morning, sitting around the fire, eating eggs of all things, and the bond between the three of them was almost tangible. They bickered and teased each other a lot—a lot being an understatement—but there was something in that bickering and teasing that was crucial to their relationship in the first place. Sanzo was included in all that, but I could tell he was trying his damndest not to be. All in all, he was a pretty cold guy. Still, I didn't think that didn't mean he didn't care about his team mates.

What was the big deal anyway? I'd do anything and go anywhere for Kougaiji, and he knew it, and Lirin and Yaone knew it, because I'd said it and I'd acted on it. I didn't feel like it made me less of a man, it just meant I had some loyalty, and what the hell's wrong with loyalty?

I glanced at my brother again. His shouting match with Sanzo was over, and now he was walking next to Hakkai. They were talking too quietly for me to hear what they were saying, but their body language was casual and open. I could see from a mile away that they were familiar and comfortable with each other, regardless of how different they were, and for some reason, the sight made me feel just a slight twinge of jealousy. It probably shouldn't, but it always had, ever since I'd found out my brother was in the Sanzo party and I'd seen him with them, I just couldn't help feeling jealous. Maybe I just didn't like that he didn't need me anymore, because he had them instead.

Off to the side, I noticed the little hanyou kid running through the bushes, crouching down every now and then, darting between trees like he was trying to go unseen. He had a long, heavy stick in one hand and what looked like a pair of binoculars in the other. Every now and then, he'd look through them, like he was searching for something.

I stared long and hard at him. With that longish, unkempt hair, and that skinny build, he looked like Gojyo had at that age. I stopped in the middle of the road to watch him. It wasn't like I hadn't noticed the kid before—he'd been here since before Kou and I joined the party—but I guess I'd sort of been ignoring him, purposely trying not to look at him, trying not to compare him to my brother, because I didn't want to honestly see how similar they were to one another.

"Dokugaku?" Kou called back to me from a few yards down the road.

"Yeah, hang on. I'll catch up to you, Kou."

Kou shrugged and kept walking, but a little slower than before, and he checked over his shoulder a couple times.

I crossed the road and went to stand behind the kid. "What're you up to, tiny?" Not good. My voice, my tone, even the words I said, were all exactly the way I would have spoken to Gojyo ten or twelve years ago.

This kid stayed kneeling where he was, gazing through his binoculars intently. I wondered if he'd brought those with him or if he'd found them along the way somewhere. "Scoutin' for youkai."

"Oh. Right. Well, your group's leaving you behind, so maybe you better play less and try to keep up."

He twisted around to look at me. His face was a lot like Gojyo's too—that sort of lean, smart face with a strong chin and jaw—but his expression wasn't. This kid looked totally innocent, optimistic and naïve. His eyes were bright, and I knew just by his open, trusting face that no one had laid a hand on him in his whole life. I was all too familiar with the way kids looked at you when they were getting hit behind the scenes. I guess some hanyou kids had it better than others.

"What about you, mister? Aren't you parta' the group too?"

"N-no." I stuttered, not sure how to answer him, "Not officially."

The kid stood up and turned around, letting the binoculars fall around his neck. "Oh. I thought you were friends with Gojyo and Goku and the others."

"Friends?" So did I tell him 'actually we're mortal enemies, bent on destroying each other'? It wasn't exactly the truth anyway, so I just mumbled, "Yeah, we're friends…or something like that."

The kid stuck his hand out suddenly, "I'm Deshi. Nice to meet'cha."

Not knowing what else to do, I shook it. "Jie—er, Dokugakuji…. Nice to meet you." How strange. I hadn't referred to myself as Jien in over ten years, so to even almost accidentally introduce myself that way was bizarre. What was it about this kid? I studied him as he began to walk, a few feet ahead of me. He didn't especially act like Gojyo. He wasn't nearly as cocky and obnoxious. I guess the looks were all it took to wire him to that part of my memories anyway.

"Are you a traveler too?" Deshi asked, smiling up at me.

"Not really. I live in India."

"India? Where's that?"

"West. Far, far west."

"What're you doing so far from home then?"

"My friend and I are on a little mission, that's all."

Deshi seemed puzzled still, but he just nodded. "You're a swordsman, huh? I saw your sword the other day. It's really big. How do you fight with it?"

"What do you mean? I just swing it."

"You must be really strong."

"Hn. I'm strong enough. I can hold my own in a fight, and that's what matters."

"I'm gonna' be a fighter when I grow up."

"I bet you will."

"And I wanna' travel around and see all kinds of cool places, like Gojyo and his friends. What about where your from? Is it cool there?"

The kid sure wasn't shy.

"Parts of it are nice. I'm not from their originally…I grew up back east. Same place Gojyo's from."

"Really?"

I nodded, then said without thinking about it, "We're brothers."

Deshi seemed pretty skeptical of that, "You are?"

"…Yes."

"You don't look the same." He said, after studying my face a long time and glancing up ahead towards Gojyo over and over.

"Well, we had different moms."

"Oh. 'Cause you're a full youkai, and he's not."

At least he understood that part.

I tried to think of something else to focus on, but Deshi wasn't letting it go. "I didn't know he had a brother—I wonder why he didn't tell me. You're older than him, right?"

"That's right."

"Huh. I wonder why he didn't tell me."

"Our relationship is…complicated."

"Why?"

I couldn't really be angry with him for asking such a painful question when I'd set myself up for it. I just sighed, "It's been a long time since we…spent any time together."

"Don't'cha get along?"

"We used to, back when he was your age, but now…seems like every time we see each other, we just fight."

"That's sad!" Deshi shouted, "Brother's aren't s'posed to fight."

I raised my eyebrows at him, "You're the expert on that, are you?"

"I never fought with my brother." He sniffed.

"Never?" I goaded.

"Naw. We were best friends."

Of course they were. That's how brothers were supposed to be, wasn't it? Brothers were supposed to be best friends. I looked up the road to where Gojyo was still walking with Hakkai—a little more animated now, probably bitching about something—and suddenly it dawned on me that, at one time, the two of us had been really close. We had a large difference in age, but he didn't have anyone else in the world, so he'd gotten pretty attached to me. I couldn't help remembering the way he used to follow me every where, and the way I'd pretended I didn't want him to…

Finally, I came up with something else to talk about, switched topics abruptly, "So, you excited to be going to this new village?"

"Nn. Not really."

Why would he be? He'd obviously come from that half-breed village Ryptcore had trashed, and almost everyone he knew it the world was dead now.

"You're gonna' get to meet new people and make new friends though." I told him, trying to smile.

"That's what Lei keeps telling me. I just wish we could go home."

I couldn't miss the despair in his voice, and it was a feeling I could easily identify with: a heavy, dark feeling. I knew all too well what it was like to have to run from your only home, to know your family was gone and that you could couldn't go back, no matter how much you wanted to. No matter what you'd left behind, you couldn't go back and get it. No matter who you'd left behind, you'd never see them again.

"Yeah…I hear you, tiny." I rested my hand on his shoulder, straining to come up with something that might comfort him, "At least you'll be safe there though, huh? That's what's really important."

It wasn't right for kids to have to wander the streets, never knowing where their next meal was going to come from, doing whatever it took to survive. They shouldn't have to sleep in some dumpy alleyway somewhere or steal to eat. Deshi had all these other hybrids to look after him, but what if something happened to them? This was a dog eat dog world, and hanyou weren't generally looked upon favorably. It would be best for them in a village where they knew there were other people like them, and there was no question about whether they'd be accepted or not.

"I guess so." Deshi agreed after a moment.

"Then, when you grow up, you can run around the world and fight, if that's what you want."

"Maybe I can come visit you!" He beamed up at me.

Kid sure got attached easily.

"Sure."

"I'll be a great warrior then, so we can spar."

"If you want, Goj."

I shut my mouth tight, and Deshi looked up at me curiously.

"I meant Deshi. Sorry."

What was wrong with me? Did I really think I was sixteen again, walking back from town, with a bag of groceries and my tag-along, kid brother? Totally pathetic. I needed to get my head in the game now. What if someone attacked Kougaiji right now and I was distracted talking to Deshi and thinking about Gojyo and being an idiot? I'd never forgive myself if I let something happen to Kou, and I'd already proven to myself that I could live without Gojyo. I could live not knowing where he was or how he was doing, so I should put him out of my mind now.

Still…going down the road with Deshi looking up at me with his red eyes, I really did feel like I was in some kind of flashback.

Ahead of us, I noticed that everyone had stopped and gathered along the side of the road. Kou was standing there with his arms folded, watching me approach. "What's going on?" I asked, going to stand next to him, and Deshi stayed there beside me.

"I guess this is where the party splits up." He answered coolly.

"…where isit exactly?" Goku was asking.

One of the hanyou—a man in his mid thirties—answered, nervously, "W-well…I-I've only been there once… If I remember correctly, it should be up over this ridge here."

"How far away would you say it is?" Hakkai questioned.

The man was really sweating. I didn't think he liked being asked a lot of questions by two possibly berserk youkai. "Um…h-how far? Do you mean miles? Or time?"

"Time, please."

"I think…if I remember correctly…it took us, um, maybe a little more than an hour to get there once we left the main road." He added quickly, "I could be wrong though."

Sanzo snorted, "We don't have time for this. You three. Lets keep moving."

"Sanzo." Hakkai admonished him quietly, "That is not a very long time. Two hours round trip, perhaps."

"It wouldn't matter if it were only two seconds, Hakkai." Was the vicious answer. "We aren't wasting time on this."

"But Sanzo. If they go off by themselves, Ryptcore or somebody might attack 'em." Goku argued.

"That isn't my problem."

Next the girl tried—Lei was her name, I think—clasping her hands and looking at Sanzo pleadingly, "Please, Sanzo. It would mean a lot to all of us."

I didn't think Sanzo was the type to be taken in by a woman's request, so it must have been that his temper just snapped. He looked angrier than ever, and his purple eyes were flashing, and I had to admit, he was pretty scary for being a human priest. "Pfft. I don't see what any of this has to do with us. Gojyo! This is your mess, isn't it? You be back in two hours, or don't come back at all."

Gojyo looked up from where he was standing, a little apart from the rest of the group, kicking dirt and fidgeting, "What? Sorry, I missed it."

That only made Sanzo angrier. "You're taking them to the village, aren't you? Get your ass moving."

"I am? I thought they were going by themselves."

Hakkai gave him a disappointed look, "How could you possibly think that? We discussed this. Several times."

"Hakkai's right. You were all gung-ho about bringing them with us."

"Yeah, but I thought we'd go our separate ways, when the time came."

"Gojyo." Lei went forward and grabbed his hand between hers, "Please. You must come with us. Please?"

"That's right!" Another half-blood chimed in, sounding scared, "If those animals attack us we'll be no match for them! We'll be torn to pieces!"

"And I won't be?" Gojyo demanded.

Beside me, Deshi spoke up, sounding a little scared, "Gojyo…you gotta' come with us. Please?"

Gojyo looked at him, expression seeming guilty, "Desh, i-"

"Oh, would you quit fucking around and just go?" Sanzo snapped. "Everyone wants you to."

"No one asked you!" Gojyo turned on him with a snarl.

"You already said you would." Hakkai reminded him.

"No I didn't. I never said I would walk them all the way to the front gate, I just said-"

"Well, I think you should."

"Get bent, Hakkai." I recognized the anger and frustration beginning to burn in my brother's voice. "What if Ryptcore doesn't bother them? What if he attacks you guys while I'm gone?" I also heard the extra question aching behind those words. What if you need me?

I knew he was never going to do it. Even if he'd said that he would before, I knew he had no problem backing out of a commitment, but he must have had a reason to, since I did remember him arguing with Sanzo about this very event, not two days ago. Something must have happened to make him change his mind, and since Ryptcore hadn't attacked us at all so far, I thought it must have to do with that youkai woman who'd been disappearing and reappearing at random. Whatever it was, Gojyo wasn't going, and if he didn't, no one was going to.

I looked down at Deshi and saw that he was shaking. The poor kid looked really scared. That just wasn't right. He should be home now. By nightfall, he should be in his own house, sleeping in his own bed. Even if that could never happen, he still deserved to have the next best thing. Even more than I thought he deserved to though, I just wanted him to.

"I'll take 'em." I said.

All eyes turned on me, and all the arguing stopped. Everyone was staring, like they hadn't even realized I was there. Kou was staring like I was crazy.

"You?" Gojyo spat. "Why would you want to do that?"

"Someone should make sure they get home safe, don't you think?"

"Yeah, but…no one said it had to be you."

"No, everyone's vote was for you, Gojyo. I'm just sayin', if you don't want to, I will."

He didn't answer.

The hybrids all eyed me suspiciously. One asked, "Who are you? Don't get me wrong, we appreciate the offer…but how do we know we can trust you?"

I could honestly only think of one thing that might possibly convince them, and even then it was a long shot. Just the same, it was all I had, so it slipped out for the second time that day, "I'm his brother."

A hush fell over the group, and I saw dozens of eyes, all staring at me in a new light. The brother of a half-blood child of taboo. For all I knew, each of them had a sibling just like me: the wholesome, full-blooded child who got all the love and esteem. For all I knew, they each hated their full-blooded siblings. But in the end, it was still enough to win them over.

The five of them agreed it would be fine, and then prepared to set out.

I turned to Kou, "Comin' with me?"

He smiled slightly, "I wish I could… I want to. But if Ryptcore does attack anyone, I assume it will be Sanzo and his party, and in that case, I need to be here."

The answer was disappointing. I really hated being separated from Kougaiji, but I just smiled back at him, "I get you. You need to have the satisfaction of killing him yourself."

"Something like that."

"Okay. I'll see you in two hours." I said, much more easily than I felt.

Next I looked at Gojyo, who was scowling at me, arms folded. I had no idea what he had to be so pissed about. Probably just his damn nicky fit driving him crazy.

I gave him a grin, just the same way I would have ten years ago, "Awe, c'mon and turn that frown upside down, tiny. Why don'tcha' come with me? Maybe you can buy some cigarettes up there."

"Don't you think if I could go I'd just go?"

"Well I think you coming with me is a fair trade for Kou staying here, don't you?"

"What do you care if I go anyway? You said you'd take them, so take them."

I guess maybe I thought if he went up there and saw what it was like, he might want to stay there. Maybe he knew it too, and that's why he wasn't going. Or maybe he really was just concerned about his friends.

"You're really not coming?" Deshi asked, sounding relatively horrified.

"Sorry, kiddo. I don't think I should."

"But why not? We need you to!" Deshi dropped the stick he'd been carrying and ran to him suddenly, flung his arms around his waist, "Gojyo, you gotta' come with us! Please?" Then he buried his face in the front of Gojyo's shirt, all but sobbing, "I really, really…want you to."

Gojyo's expression softened, "Deshi…look, man. It's not that I don't…I mean, I would, if I could…but these guys…"

"I don't understand. What about us? You're just like we are. You should come with us."

"I-"

"We need you!"

Lei said gently, "You're welcome to come, you know."

"I know." Gojyo answered.

She hesitated, and then she reached out and took his hand in hers, and I felt everyone around us watching them. "We don't know each other very well yet, Gojyo…and I've really been looking forward to getting to know the real you. We just haven't had time. Please come with us and give me a chance. I know I've been a little bit bitchy in the past, but I like you. Let me show you how sweet I can be."

Gojyo was the type to be taken in by a woman's request, so I was surprised when he said, "I can't go, Lei. I don't belong there."

Lei stared into his eyes; I thought it looked like she as checking to see if he was serious. "If this is about something I said or did before, I'm sorry, I-"

"It's not." He pulled away from her gently, like shaking loose of a little girl.

I saw helplessness and bewilderment in her eyes, and I watched it turned to outrage, and I thought of the old adage.

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

She said shortly, "If you don't belong with us, where do you belong?"
Gojyo snorted, "Hell if I know."

"Fine. Just be that way then. Deshi, let's go."

Deshi held on tight, and Gojyo touched his hair, "Time to go, pal."

Reluctantly, the kid released him, looked up with tears gleaming in his eyes.

Gojyo crouched down, still ruffling his hair, murmured, "Take care of her, 'kay?"

"'Kay." Deshi sniffed, wiping his nose.

"Hey, don't be upset, kiddo. I'll see you again."

"When?"

"When you grow up. I'll show ya' how to be a real ladies man."

I rolled my eyes. It was a shallow, stupid, empty as piss promise; Deshi still believed it, and smiled slightly, "Really?"

"'Course. Now beat it."

"All right…. Just don't get stuck in any more wells."

"Deal." Gojyo stood up. He looked at me like maybe he had something to say, but whatever it was, he never said it.

Instead, Sanzo interrupted, looking at me with a decidedly indifferent expression, "We have no obligation to wait for you."

"That being said." Hakkai interjected, "It would be nice to have the extra help with Ryptcore, and since we were planning on waiting for two hours anyway, we may as well rest here. Don't you think so, Sanzo?"

Sanzo didn't answer, he just glared daggers at Hakkai.

Hakkai smiled at me politely, utterly unfazed, "Do try to hurry back. I believe we're all much better off if we stay together."

"Then why aren't we all goin' up there?" Goku asked.

No one answered him. I turned to leave, giving Kou one last smile, "Two hours."

"Two hours." He agreed. "Then I'm coming to look for you."

"Fair enough."

We left shortly after that. It was weird to just break off from the rest of the group and the main road and start heading into what was, as far as I could tell, nothing but wilderness, there wasn't even so much as a path to take. At least the terrain wasn't rough though. We started climbing the ridge, but it was nothing more than a big hill, and there weren't even that many boulders to get past. The man who'd been answering Goku and Hakkai's questions earlier led the way, and as far as I knew, he was the only hybrid who knew where we were going. I stayed close to Deshi and Lei, and I kept my eyes and ears open for danger, but I highly doubted we were going to be attacked. Like everyone else, I assumed that, if Ryptcore attacked at all, it would be Sanzo and the others.

That made me feel uneasy about being apart from Kou, and I kept looking over my shoulder, even long after I couldn't see him anymore.

He'll be fine. I told myself. Never mind that he was with the Sanzo party, and they were supposed to be our enemies, even if we were having a temporary truce. He can take care of himself…

Two hours isn't that long…

The only problem was that it was slow going with these half-bloods. Most of them seemed to be in pretty good shape and didn't have any trouble hiking, but a couple of them were injured, including Lei, and they had to rest, and they walked slowly and tripped sometimes, and over all slowed the group down much more than I liked. Still, I decided not to worry. Even if that bastard Sanzo packed up his group and moved out, Kou was going to keep waiting for me, and that was all I cared about. Gojyo be damned.

Deshi wasn't as energetic as before, but I didn't think it was because of the walk. He seemed disappointed, and he kept toying with something in his right hand.

I walked beside him, "What's that?"

"Nothin'. Just a lighter Goku-san gave me." He showed it to me. It was just a cheap, plastic one, orange, and it looked old, dinged up and dusty. "He said it used to be Gojyo's."

Little brother had a serious fan here. I wondered, briefly, what it was this kid liked so much about Gojyo, but I didn't have to wonder long. From a ten-year-old's perspective, I didn't doubt Gojyo would seem like a really cool guy.

No one did much talking for the rest of the trip, and I started feeling bored and useless. We weren't going to be attacked. Why had I volunteered to do this?

I guess it just hadn't felt right to watch them limp into the distance, injured and tired and hungry like this.

As long as nothing happened to Kou while I was away, it shouldn't be a big deal.

We got all the way to the top of the ridge and went down the other side, and it was afternoon by the time the ground started to level out. The guy at the head of the group kept calling back, "Not far now. Not far."

In another half hour, we had reached the village. There was no wall built around this one, and no other tell-tale signs that we were approaching the town's outskirts. Before I knew it, we were just there. I looked up and there was a barn to the left of me, a house to the right of me, a road right in front of me, and beyond that more and more and more buildings: houses and sheds and a tavern and even a bank.

"Bigger than the other one." I muttered.

It was meant to be to myself, but one of the hybrids told me, "Our village was only for people like us. This town has humans and even some youkai living it in."

I looked around and saw that he was right. Almost everyone I saw had red hair, but there was a decent number of humans too. I didn't see any youkai, but I wasn't surprised about that.

Over all, it looked like a nice place, lush with vegetation, abundant with water, full of hard-working, honest people.

"Tratto was born here." Lei explained to Deshi. "Eventually though, he decided there should be a place just for people like us, so he left and founded our village."

I wondered how much prejudice people had to put up with here. You'd think that if you were planning on living here in the first place, you would have already set aside all your racist thoughts. Or maybe you didn't have any in the first place.

Either way, it looked to be a decent, safe place. A place any hanyou should be happy to live in. Even if it wasn't a sanctuary for half-breeds alone, it had to be a hell of a lot better than surviving in the outside world.

We were almost to the center of the town now, and a lot of people were stopping to watch us pass. I hadn't realized how deep I was going, and I stopped suddenly, "I-um, I better get heading back to the others."

They looked back at me, like they'd forgotten I was there.

"Of course." Said the man in the front. "Your friends are waiting."

Lei bowed, "Thank-you so much for doing this. You're twice the man your brother is."

"I don't know about that." I laughed nervously, "He's just got a lot going on right now."

"Either way, we are all in your debt. Thank-you again, Dokugakuji-san."

The way she smiled at me made me feel a little better about coming up here. She really did look appreciative and sweet and relieved, and I knew I'd done a good thing for these people.

All of them thanked me again, and then we said goodbye, and they walked away together, toward a big, official looking building, which was probably where the elder or someone like that lived.

I looked around again. It was an interesting place, and if I'd had time, I might have done some exploring, but since Kou was waiting for me, I knew I had to hurry back. Before I left though, I did go into a general store and bought a pack of cigarettes. I didn't know which kind he smoked, so I grabbed what was cheapest and went on my way.

Going back was much faster. I could set my own pace and not worry about other people catching up, and I could go over obstacles rather than trudging around them. I bet it only took forty-five minutes before I could see the main road again.

Below me, I heard voices: Goku squawking, Gojyo whining, Sanzo shouting and Hakkai laughing. I scanned the area for Kou, frantically, and found him hanging out in the shade of a tree, a good distance from the others. Seeing him okay made me breathe a sigh of relief, and I continued my descent.

The crazy little field trip was playing around by the side of the road, as if nothing in the world was wrong. Gojyo and Goku were scuffling around, calling each other crazy, nonsensical names and pushing each other, while Hakkai stood by laughing. Sanzo was scowling and his paper fan was out. When the noise got to be too much for him, he hit them both with the fan and screamed a while, and then the two of them whined at him about it. Hakkai made some underhanded comment that was clearly meant to be an insult, and Gojyo went over to rest his elbow on his shoulder, sniping something right back at him.

I paused to watch them a moment, noticing again the way they acted with each other, the bond none of them would admit to out loud. I realized I'd never seen my brother this way before. When he was a kid, he didn't have any friends really—everyone in town knew about the scandal between Dad and Gojyo's mother—even the other kids in our home town didn't want to have anything to do with him. I'd always known he was social and outgoing, but he'd never gotten a chance to act on it. With Hakkai and Goku, and even with Sanzo, he was just himself, and they let him be. Hakkai didn't push his arm away. Goku didn't tell him he was a freak and tell him to leave him alone. All four of them just existed, side by side, not caring what the world thought.

As I looked on, I felt that jealousy start to creep back into me, strained to make sense of it.

Gojyo was my brother, not theirs. I'd been there for him long before any of them even knew he existed. Yet, here he was now, pushing me away, scorning my concern and acting like I was crazy for giving a shit what happened to him. He acted like he didn't care about our past history, or about what I'd done for him—even when that single act had almost destroyed my whole life—he acted like he didn't even remember any of it. Today, he hadn't gone to the hanyou village with me, because he didn't want to leave his comrades behind, and it didn't matter what I wanted.

After a moment, I continued down the hill to the road, and even though I tried to shake the jealousy away, it was persistent. I hated to feel like I'd lost my brother forever. I hated that he was on one side of this war and I was on the other. I really hated feeling like it was all my fault. Like if I'd done things differently, it might not be that way now. Still, I knew there was no fixing it.

Kou saw me coming and stood up, "You're back early."

"Yeah, I made up for lost time on the return trip."

"You okay?"

"Fine. How were thing around here?"

"Noisy. But other than that, everything was fine."

"I didn't see any sign of Ryptcore anywhere. I guess we all got lucky."

"I'd say you're right."

I nodded, "Anyway, hang on a moment, I'll be right back." Reluctantly, I turned away from him again, made my way across the road to where the others were bickering, clenched the cigarettes in my hand and tried to act normal. Not jealous.

"Hey, you're back!" Goku said excitedly. "See Sanzo? It didn't even take four hours."

Sanzo just grunted.

"Sorry, we ate without'cha." Goku went on. "Did'ja' make it ta' the village okay?"

It never failed to surprise me how friendly he was to Kou and the rest of us. "Uh, yeah. Everything went smoothly." I looked at Gojyo, shoved the cigarettes into his hand, "Here. Got ya' something. Maybe now you can quit being such a whiny bitch."

He looked at them like he had no idea what they were. "What're these?"

"Cigarettes, stupid."

"My, how thoughtful." Hakkai said brightly, "Now, Gojyo, what do you say?"

Gojyo glared at him, "What the hell're you, my mother?"

To that, Hakkai just laughed, "Ah, not that I'm aware of, no."

"You sure nag like a mom." Gojyo was already tearing the pack open, frantically, it looked like. He stuck one in his mouth and dug around for his lighter. He searched every pocket twice before he found it, and then finally got the stupid thing lit. Just when I was sure I was never getting so much as a thank-you, he exhaled a long stream of smoke, grinned at me, "Thanks man. I owe you."

"Damn straight you do." I snorted. "You owe me big."

"I'll buy you a beer some time, how's that?"

"Yeah, yeah. That's fine, Goj." I barely resisted the urge to ruffle his hair, turned and went back to Kougaiji. It was hard. It was hard to remember things were so different now and that they could never be the way they used to be. Life was fine now, I didn't exactly miss the way things used to be, but I did miss parts of how it had been. Parts that were lost forever.

Man, I was an idiot.

I was so stupid, thinking I could make up for leaving Gojyo behind all those years ago. Did I seriously believe making sure Deshi got home all right could atone for that? Did I actually think getting Gojyo somewhere safe would make whatever he'd been through after I left him just go away? I guess I was always the same—forcing my own feelings and desires on anyone around me who made me remember the regretful things I'd done in the past.

From now on, I'd better focus on Kou and what he needed me to do. Forget everything else.

Easier said than done. I mean, was I really such a bad guy for wanting to help my brother?

Maybe some day I'd pay the price for all of this sentimental bullshit.

Sanzo

We were fortunate to reach a normal town a bit before nightfall, just in time to keep everyone from falling apart, I thought; I felt like it had been years since I'd been in any real civilization, and even longer since I'd seen other humans. Not that I cared especially what race the people around me were. They were just more potential enemies, or else they didn't matter at all, because the only thing I knew for sure about them was that they were not allies, and they could not and would not be of any help whatsoever. So I bought about five boxes of ammo and a couple cartons of Marlboro Reds—I'd been down to my last one in the pack—and ignored their small talk. Then we searched for an inn.

Goku kept asking why we hadn't just stayed at the village Lei and the other half-breeds had gone to, and eventually I told him it was because we couldn't really stock up on supplies there. It was partly true, but I also hadn't wanted to climb the mountain to get there. Besides, I knew Ryptcore would follow us, and he'd ransack that village like he had the last one. Not that he wouldn't ransack this one, I thought, as I looked around at the lights and the dwindling crowd. A lot of shops were closing up for the day, and as Hakkai had noted, we might have to do the bulk of our resupplying tomorrow before we left.

Whatever. So what if the DethBreed did ransack this town? At least we could buy supplies here before they did, and it would give me an opportunity to kill Ryptcore.

As long as my damn team doesn't desert me.

Gojyo hadn't gone with the others, which was shocking to me, but I was staving off on the celebrations, partly because having him with us was more a pain in the ass then him being gone would, and partly because he still had every opportunity to run off, back to the village, with some common whore, or with his brother for all I knew.

"D'ya think Kougaiji an' Dokugakuji'll be okay?" Goku asked at dinner, after he'd finished plowing through ten plates of food.

"Who knows and who cares?"

Hakkai took the question a little more seriously, "I wouldn't be too concerned, Goku. If Ryptcore's army does arrive, those two will likely see them coming and warn us. If anything, it's best for them to camp outside the city limits. Besides, I highly doubt either of them have power limiters to put on, and seeing two youkai in their town would likely put the locals into a state of panic."

"More importantly." I growled, "You shouldn't waste time worrying about the enemy."

"Yeah, but in case you forgot, we have a truce with them right now." Gojyo spoke up from behind the inherent white cloud he was spewing. He hadn't been without a lit cigarette in hand since Dokugakuji brought him that first pack back from Lei's village, and stocking up on his disgusting hi-lites had been the first thing he'd done when we got into town. "I mean, would it kill you to show a little concern for your own allies, Sanzo?"

"I couldn't have any less interest in what you have to say, Gojyo. As far as I'm concerned, you're emotionally involved, so your opinion is worthless."

"What the hell's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that guy is your brother, so no shit you're concerned."

"I ain't concerned. I'm just saying, they're on our side right now, so being completely cold-blooded is really shitty."

"Now, now." Hakkai said, before I could retort, "Can't we eat in peace? Honestly, your bickering is getting incredibly tedious to listen to."

I was sick of the fighting too. I'd like to shoot Gojyo in the head and be done with it.

We ate the rest of the meal in silence, and then I went to pay the bill. It was good to have ammo for my gun again, but I still felt on edge. I didn't know if it was my imagination, but I felt like someone had been following us for days now, watching and lying in wait. Maybe I only felt that way because I knew the DethBreed was behind us, somewhere. Lurking in the wilderness. Or maybe it was because Hakkai's demon woman was following us at a distance. I hadn't seen her in a few days though—ever since she pushed Gojyo down the well, she seemed to be staying a little further away. Good call. He was probably going to kill her when he got a chance.

It could also be about having Kougaiji in tow. Truce or no truce, he was not on our side, and I couldn't sleep well at night knowing he was just a few feet away, possibly planning to steal the sutra right off my back.

The most likely reason though, was because I was the only one I could trust now. I didn't know for sure what my team mates were thinking, and I wasn't sure which side they were really on right now, and that made me feel like I was surrounded by enemies, even though everyone kept telling me I was surrounded by allies.

In any case, there was nothing I could do except keep relying on myself and watch those around me carefully, prepared to defend myself if they turned on me.

Goku insisted that wasn't going to happen. He said he wasn't going anywhere, and he didn't think the other two were either, but he wasn't any surer of it than I was—he couldn't be. All along, I'd been aware that things might go this way—it was a concern I'd even shared openly with the Three Aspects—that maybe I wouldn't be able to trust my own comrades. The only problem was that in the last year, I'd gotten lax in paying attention. They'd been so normal throughout this whole trip, I'd gotten to a point where I wasn't expecting them to go crazy or to suddenly leave; I'd been stupid, and I'd actually started to trust them, and rely on them, even if I'd never admit it.

The last time I'd been stupid enough to rely on someone, he'd been brutally taken away from me, permanently, and then I really didn't have anyone to trust.

Not this time though, I told myself as we left the restaurant. I'd been stupid over the last year for even thinking I could trust these three misfits, but there was still plenty of time for me to wise up. I knew there was no guarantee I could count on them, so this time, when something happened and they died or left or went insane, I wouldn't feel left behind and exposed.

"Man." Gojyo yawned, "I gotta' tell you guys, I am really looking forward to sleeping in a real bed."

"I can't blame you." Hakkai agreed. "We all deserve some rest after a week like this one."

"I say we haul ass to the inn, play a round of cards, have a beer and call it a night."

"Hey, Sanzo!" Goku shouted for no apparent reason. "Can we sleep in tomorrow? Please?"

"No. Why would you even ask me that?"

"'Cause ev'rybody's tired!"

"Everybody can sleep tonight and get up tomorrow morning, like usual."

"But-"

A shadow shifted on my right, and another on my left. I stopped, and Goku ran into me, cutting his argument off.

"Hey, what's goin' on?"

Two men were moving in on us from either side, swiftly and surely. I didn't sense a presence, but I could tell from the way they moved that they weren't just bums coming to ask for money.

Simultaneously, they stepped into the light.

Both of them were a little taller than Gojyo, built with a little more muscle than any of us, and they had twin, psychotic grins. The man on the right was about my age, and he had pale, spiky hair and half a dozen facial piercings. His counterpart was ten or fifteen years older, bald, with nasty scars drawn across his scalp. Both of them had empty, soulless eyes, and even though they looked human, I knew from their appearance alone that they were youkai.

They were blocking our path.

"Genjyo Sanzo." The young man said, gnashing his teeth, "We've been looking for you."

"Assassins?" Hakkai murmured.

I answered bleakly. "Not normal assassins."

"That's right, Priest." The bald man said in a deep, guttural voice. He pulled a thick, brass band off his upper arm, and there was a gust of hot wind and a flash of reddish light, and his ears and teeth and fingernails grew long and sharp and gruesome.

The other man removed his nose ring and transformed as well. Tongue lolling like a wolf's, he laughed, "Gang and Chang. Officers of the DethBreed—we're your worst nightmare, Sanzo Ikkou."

"Rhyming names?" Goku and Gojyo squawked in unison, then burst out laughing.

"You gotta' be shittin' me!" Gojyo howled.

Hakkai nudged both of them, "Somehow I doubt this is any laughing matter."

If these two clowns were anything like Xiong and Ryptcore or the other psycho members of that army, we were definitely not in any position to be laughing. To make matters worse, they were officers, and who knew what the qualifications for that were.

"Laugh if you want." The bald man, Chang, I think, said, drawing a pair of black eskrima, "We have our orders to bring you back to Ryptcore, alive, Sanzo."

Gang pulled two dao swords from his belt, took a few hacks at the air in front of him, "Of course, the rest of your party won't be so lucky. You'll all be dead by midnight."

"And then we'll all be free forever."

They threw their heads back and laughed.

"Hn. How naïve." I pulled my gun out and aimed, "Your boss must really be hurt bad if he sent you two clowns to finish what he started."

Chang and Gang exchanged looks and shrugged, "Whatever. We're still more than enough to bring you down."

"Hell." Gojyo stepped up, shakujou in hand, "I just ate, so I'm game to play."

Goku and Hakkai weren't nearly as enthusiastic.

"Um, Sanzo." Goku tugged at my robe lightly, "Don't'cha think we might need Kougaiji an-"

"Those two idiots would only be in our way. Now get ready to fight."

Chang and Gang leapt at us, weapons ready. I fired first at one, then at the other, missed them both and had to dodge to the side to keep from being hacked in two by one of the dao. Gojyo stepped around me, swinging his chain like a lasso. It nearly took Chang's head off, but he got out of the way and the sickle lodged in the wall of the building next to us instead. By that time, Goku had his bo ready to go and was driving straight toward Gang, arm cocked back and ready to bust skulls.

He missed. It was never a good sign to see Goku miss, because usually it meant the enemy he was facing was faster than he was, and that couldn't possibly go well. This time I got the feeling it was more because he wasn't fully focused. As I watched him chase Gang down the alleyway, I could see that he was fighting half-heartedly, taking half-assed swings and going after Gang like he didn't care whether he caught him or not.

Gang was laughing.

"Goku!" I snapped in frustration, taking aim at Chang's ugly head.

"Pay attention, monkey!" Gojyo ordered, running past Goku and taking a slash at Gang. It was close. So close that for a second I actually thought he'd cut him. But there was no splash of blood or satisfying cry of pain.

I fired at Chang, missed his head by a matter of centimeters, and had to duck out of the way before he took my head off with one of the eskrima. He smiled at me in a flash of nasty, yellowed teeth, "Your party is doomed, Sanzo. There's no way for you to defeat the two of us."

Angrily, I fired again, then again.

Chang dodged both shots and zagged to the left. He and Gang reached the same spot at the same time, jumped straight up in the air suddenly, and my next bullet almost blew through Gojyo's skull.

"Hey!" He yelled, jumping back and pressing himself against the wall, "It's me you dumbass!"

"I know it's you. Do you really think I'm that stupid?"

"Now that you mention it-"

Gang landed heavily on Gojyo, knocking him to the ground with a loud, surprised oomph.

A second later, I too was flat on my stomach, face pressed against the cold, damp stone of the street, the heavy weight of Chang sitting on my back.

"Son of a bitch…" I grated out, feeling the pressure begin to bend my ribs.

He laughed hideously, "Wasn't much of a fight, now was it, Priest?"

"Sanzo!" Goku rushed in from the side and kicked him off me, stood over me as I got my bearings.

Gojyo was still grappling with Chang. They were wrestling on the ground, struggling to get the upper hand. The sharp dao were flashing violently and sporadically in the dim light of the street lamps.

Off to the side, I noticed Hakkai, standing in the shadows, watching.

"What the hell are you doing?" I demanded, getting to my feet. "Feel free to jump in any time, Hakkai!"

"Sanzo, I-"

"No! I don't want to hear whatever pathetic excuse you have in mind! Either help us or get lost!"

Hakkai looked torn, but it wasn't so hard for me to guess what he was thinking. For the last couple of days, he'd been almost normal—aside from the fact that his smile wasn't quite genuine and he was a little less patient than usual—and I didn't know what sort of battle for sanity had been raging in his mind. For all I knew, fighting would only push him closer to the edge he was already in danger of falling off of, and he'd have to be a complete moron not to realize that.

That still didn't mean he got to sit out when we had a serious fight on our hands.

Gojyo was up again. He shoved Gang in Hakkai's direction, "C'mon, Hakkai. Let's rip this dick a new asshole."

Chang and Gang stood back-to-back, both of them grinning confidently and demonically. They stood a second, then sprang forward, weapons ready. Gang swung his dao at me, first one, then the other, and Chang took advantage of the distraction, actually managed to bring one of the eskrima down on my shoulder.

Sharp, burning pain shot down my arm and up my neck, and the force of the blow was enough to knock me back into the wall, coughing and grasping my shoulder.

So much pain. It was like my arm was on fire. I couldn't even think past it—it was a huge, red blob in my mind, demanding all my attention, and my vision was so blurry, Chang was just a blur as he attacked again.

Holding my breath, I rolled to the side and scrambled to my feet, staggered out of the way just before he could belt me in the gut with the eskrima.

I didn't hear my teammates nearby. It didn't matter where they were. They weren't coming to my rescue—I wasn't surprised—and I didn't need them to.

I lifted my damaged arm as quickly as I could. It hurt so much, I thought I was going to collapse from the white-hot pain, but it didn't feel broken. Fractured maybe. It wasn't shattered, and that was all that I cared about. I could still use it.

Chang came at me full-tilt.

I fired. The gunshot was painfully loud. My head throbbed as the sound ricocheted through the ally, and squeezing the trigger sent another jab of pain through my arm and into my shoulder.

My aim was slightly off, but I hit his arm, saw a spurt of bright red blood as the bullet tore through flesh and muscle.

Chang roared in outrage. He hit me like an oncoming bull, knocked me back again. This time I got the wind knocked out of me, crumpled back to the street, gasping for breath and straining to keep my wits about me. He stood over me, the eskrima raised high in the air, ready to bust my skull open like a melon.

I jumped up. Pain seared through every section of my body.

Chang's blow hit the wall. Brick and stone crumbled around me, and a fine cloud of dust rose up.

Furiously, I drove at him, put a fist in his gut and knocked him back, sputtering and gagging.

Goku was right beside me, "Ya' okay?"

"No thanks to you idiots…" I panted, feeling my shoulder again. No, as far as I could tell, it was all in one piece. I was fortunate.

"Hey, Sanzo-"

I turned on him, "If you three aren't going to fight, you might as well just leave."

"Who ain't fighting?" Gojyo demanded, taking a swing at Gang, who was already bleeding here and there, but his smile hadn't faded. "You're the one getting his ass kicked."

"Shut up!" I aimed right at him. I didn't care where we were or who we were fighting. I was sick to death of his attitude. I actually took the shot.

Gojyo yelped and leapt back a split second later than he should have. Either way, the bullet missed and flew out into the dark. "You motherfucking son-of-a-fucking-bitch! What the fuck do you think you're doing? We're in a fight!"

"That was a bit uncalled for, Sanzo." Hakkai scolded, but it wasn't his usual, calm, 'I know what's best for everyone' voice. His face looked surprisingly strained.

"I've told that asshole to shut up a million times already today."

Gojyo shoved me with his shoulder, "What if I just start taking random swings at you for no reason, Master Sanzo? See how you like it."

"Stop fightin'!" Goku said loudly.

"Yes, lest you've forgotten, we still have these two to contend with."

Chang and Gang were coming toward us steadily. They were both injured and bleeding, but not nearly bad enough to make them back down, and for all we knew, they were like Ryptcore and didn't care about pain in the first place. Gang twirled the dao like two small propellers. Chang tapped his eskrima together rhythmatically.

The four of us stood clumped together. I realized that, with the exception of Goku, we were all still injured from our fight the other night. That might actually be a problem.

"We may need to use some sort of strategy." Hakkai suggested softly. "Attacking them at random isn't getting us very far."

I scoffed. "We just have to focus. Now let's wrap this up—I'm tired."

"An' I'm hungry." Goku added.

"Again? You just ate!"

"Yeah, well, fightin's makin' me hungry!" He leapt over my shoulder suddenly and flew at them, bo cocked back.

This time, when they dodged they tripped all over themselves and stumbled into one another, nearly falling down in a heap, and I took the opportunity to fire again, each shock of recoil sparking up my arm like a flame following a fuse. I gritted my teeth and kept firing.

Hakkai darted off to my right, Gojyo went left, shakujou rattling. They met in the middle, slamming Chang and Gang between the two of them. Gojyo hit Chang in the head with the staff of his weapon. Blood started spouting from Chang's nose, but he took a swing back at Gojyo, catching the front of his shirt and swinging him around into Hakkai.

While the two of them were falling head over heels, Goku dove in, taking swing after swing at Chang and Gang. Each swing missed, but each miss was just a bit narrower than the last, and I knew he was wearing them down. Hopefully, that meant his head was in the game now.

I reloaded my gun, one eye fixed on the fight. Lucky for us, these two clowns weren't half as strong as Ryptcore. It gave me a little hope that we might actually have a chance at defeating that monster.

Don't start thinking that way. There's never been any question about whether or not you can kill Ryptcore, just of when and how.

I finished reloading, just as Hakkai and Gojyo were getting up again, Gojyo holding his ribs and lagging back a few steps.

I took aim, careful this time, and squeezed the trigger.

The bullet hissed through the air and found its mark, and blood splattered as it punctured Chang's chest.

The wound wasn't mortal, but it was enough to distract him. He took a few heavy steps back, crying out in pain and holding his chest, blood oozing between his fingers.

Unfortunately for him, Goku hadn't finished up his attack yet, and his next swing caught Chang right in the temple.

The tall, heavy youkai swayed, body falling slowly toward Hakkai, who already had a halo of yellow chi spiraling on one fist. He stepped into Chang, threw a punch. I heard that grossly familiar suction noise as Hakkai's fist went right through Chang's stomach.

Chang froze, his face fastened in absolute horror, eyes wide and bulging, skin growing paler by the second. Blood streamed from his lips, starting out in thin, translucent threads and quickly thickening.

Hakkai ripped his hand out again, not as quickly as he could have, tearing away a chunk of flesh. Blood splashed on his clothes, and I saw a slow, certain smile etch across his face.

Everything after that happened so quickly, I could do nothing but stare.

Hakkai shoved Chang back. Shoved him hard against the wall. He tore into him again, ripped into his stomach, tearing away another hunk of flesh, only this time, he didn't use chi. Just like that, he was ripping and tearing and shredding, clawing and laughing, without any claws or fangs or even sharp ears. He was just…pulling Chang apart like he was made of clay. He ripped out his intestines. He tore off hunks of his skin. He snapped his bones. He laughed and slashed and tore until he was soaked to the shoulders in reeking, hot blood, and the walls and ground around him were stained gruesome red.

I stared, unable to do anything else, unable to move or so much as blink. My eyes were fixed on that horrific sight, glued there, unflinching, and my mouth was threatening to fall open. It wasn't like I'd never seen something like that before, but…Hakkai…

The others were watching too. Even Gang was just standing there, staring.

"Son of a…bitch…" Gojyo said under his breath.

We all watched. It felt like it went on forever, and when it was over, there was nothing but a bleeding, mutilated corpse left at Hakkai's feet.

He stood panting, shoulders heaving, fingers dripping with blood, still laughing vaguely, and then, slowly, that died away too; his breathing went back to normal, and he stood perfectly still for the longest time.

"H-Hakkai…" Goku whispered, but he didn't move toward or away from him.

Slowly, Hakkai turned to us; there was something in his eyes that hinted of wildness, like he was nothing but a mindless beast, driven by instinct alone, and that wicked grin still on his face. It looked even more out of place when he looked so human otherwise, and I felt a chill run down my spine, tightened the grip on my gun and prepared to defend myself.

Goku and Gojyo stiffened as well, holding their weapons a little tighter too.

Hakkai didn't attack though. Slowly, his deranged smile began to melt away, and the intelligence snapped back into his eyes, and then he was just Hakkai again. He took a step back from Chang's moldering body, touched a bloodied hand to his forehead as if he had a headache, smearing some crimson across pallid skin, "I-I…"

Gang whimpered. "Y-you killed him…"

I didn't even have extra space in my mind to consider how disturbed he sounded. Vaguely, I wondered if maybe the two of them had rhyming names for a reason.

"Just like that…" He stuttered, "Y-you just killed him…"

Hakkai took a staggering step in our direction.

The three of us held our ground, but Gang took a step back, receding almost in slow motion, like he'd stumbled across a bear and was just hoping to God it didn't charge him. He pointed a finger at Hakkai, "I-I'll never forget this…I'll make you pay…I swear…I'll make you pay."

None of us paid a bit of attention to him. Our eyes were still fixed on Hakkai. My lips were dry, my mouth felt like it was full of sand. For a moment Hakkai had shown me something so desperately cruel and out of control, I just couldn't fathom that he wasn't berserk already. If he wasn't, he would be soon.

Gang continued to back away, and when he'd gotten far enough, he finally turned and ran for all he was worth, screaming against the night, "I'll get you for this!"

The fight was over, but again, I barely had time or mental capacity to think about that—my whole consciousness was consumed by the fact that I had a rogue youkai teammate on my hands, and now I had to be the one to deal with it. I had to be the one to finish it. I had to be the one who made sure it didn't jeopardize the mission. I had to be the one who ensure that he didn't attack the rest of us. It was all up to me.

"Hakkai…" Goku took a half step toward him.

I crossed my arm in front of him with a short shake of my head, "Stay away from him."

"But Sanzo-"

Behind us, I heard running footsteps, and for a split second thought Gang was coming back for revenge early, before I realized their were two sets of them.

Kougaiji and Dokugakuji arrived on the scene, calm but evidently in a hurry.

"Is everything all right?" Kougaiji asked, "We sensed youkai energy and came as quickly as we could, but-"

He stopped when he saw the body. Maybe it took him a moment to realize what it was, since it was mutilated beyond recognition.

"Fuck!" Dokugakuji blurted. "Did…did he do that?"

I thought it was a fairly stupid question. "How else would it have happened?" I demanded, not allowing my voice to rise or fall in any way, hoping I wouldn't give away the fear and the despair I was feeling.

"Shit, man…just…shit. That's…"

"Disgusting." I finished, without thinking about it.

I tried to shake that thought away. I'd seen my share of gore, but it was different somehow this time. I'd seen my teammates kill plenty of youkai, and sometimes in bloody ways, but this was something else.

Goku tried once more, "Hey, Hakkai. You okay?"

Hakkai flinched at the sound of his name. His body convulsed mildly, and he stared at us another moment, like he really had no way to account for what he'd done, and then he too began to back away, a strange, plaintive expression on his face.

I jumped a little myself when he moved, ready to fight back, but he didn't attack. He drew away into the shadows until I could barely make out the light outline of his hair against the blackness.

He ran too, just as quickly as Gang, stumbled. A loud clatter echoed through the ally as he apparently knocked over a garbage can, and then his footsteps grew fainter and fainter.

"Hakkai!"

Gojyo and Goku both started after him.

I was barely able to stop them.

"Don't. Go after him." I ordered, still straining to be calm, struggling not to give away how upsetting this turn of events was.

"But Sanzo!"

"No, Goku. Just no."

"Wait a minute." Dokugakuji asked again, "Did he really do that? All by himself? His limiter was still on."

That was the most distressing aspect, to be sure. His limiter was still on. I'd seen it myself: round-eared, blunt-fingered, fangless Hakkai had shredded an officer of the DethBreed, and he'd done it as if it were nothing.

"Yes." I answered grimly, too bothered to be sarcastic about it.

"Shouldn't we go after 'im?" Goku asked frantically, "I mean, he could-"

"Absolutely not." I snarled.

Gojyo demanded suddenly, "Are you for real, Sanzo? You don't want to go after him?"

"No, I do not."

"And do you wanna' explain to us exactly why that is?"

"Because. Now, he's going to do one of two things. Either he'll run off alone, go berserk eventually and start terrorizing the countryside, or he'll get his head together and come back to us, go berserk eventually, and start terrorizing us. Neither situation is good, but in any case, he's going to go insane. At least if he does it elsewhere we won't have to get sidetracked with stopping him."

"You asshole! He's not berserk yet!"

"No? Because judging from what I just saw, he either is or he will be before the night is over."

"Yeah, but if we go after him maybe we can keep that from happening."

"How would you suggest we do that?" I asked coldly. "Crack open a beer around the fire and play some mahjong? If he's gone, he's gone, and there's nothing we can do. We're under no obligation to-"

"No obligation to what? To stop him? To try to help him? Goddammit, Sanzo, he's part of this fucking team! We can't just let him run around and destroy everything he comes across, we owe it to him to-"

"I don't owe him anything." I interrupted sharply, slanting a glare at him. I was going for mildly annoyed, but I was sure everyone could see how honestly disturbed I was.

After all, wasn't there some part of me that wanted to chase Hakkai, talk him down, bring him around, fix this mess? There was certainly a large part of me that knew he wouldn't want to start roaming the wilderness, destroying villages, eating humans and kidnapping young women like all the other youkai were doing. Of course I knew I owed it to Hakkai to put him out of his misery before he got the chance to do something he'd hate being responsible for. Normally, I might even go after him.

Gojyo changed his tone immediately, tried a different approach. It was shocking to hear; he was being…humble. He sounded like he was trying to ask me for a favor, of all things. "Sanzo…he's got the car. I mean, you know? How're we getting to India without him?"

As if he actually cared about getting to India. As if any of them did.

"We'll walk."

"That'll take years. C'mon, man, you have to admit it: we need him for this."

"I do not need any of you!" I shouted, turning on him. I hadn't even meant to yell, it just happened. Like the louder I denied it, the more likely it would be to come true.

Gojyo and Goku both took a moment to look back at me, stunned. They glanced at each other. On the other side of me, Kougaiji shifted uncomfortably. It was bad to be showing this dissention in the presence of the enemy, but it wasn't as if there was a good place for things to break down. Now all I could do was shield my head and hope the wreckage of this team didn't crush me.

Gojyo tried again. He was doing his best to keep that respectful tone, but I could practically feel his anger bursting through the seams of this charade. "I get why you feel that way—I know everything's fucked up right now—but it isn't true. You know it isn't. You know we need Hakkai, and I don't believe you're actually such an asshole that you're going to just let him go like that."

"Gojyo." I snorted, shaking my head and putting my gun away, "I thought you knew me better."

He clenched his fists.

"I won't waste a second." I added, just to make sure the idiot really understood. "I can't spare half a moment to chase that dumb bastard down. He got himself into this, he can fix it. I have a mission to complete, and I have enough crazy youkai following me around, trying to kill me, so I'm sure as hell not hunting down another one. I don't give half a shit about Hakkai, and I won't waste a second to even consider going after him."

"You fucking asshole." The anger was more prominent now. His voice was quiet, but he was probably speaking through his teeth. "You're really gonna' stand there and tell me you don't have the time to go after Hakkai?"

Goku tried to intervene. "C'mon guys, don't start this right now! What about Hakkai? Sanzo, we can't really let 'im go. That'd be…just bad. Really, really bad."

"See? Even the monkey gets it, Sanzo."

"Please, Sanzo? Let's just go an' find Hakkai."

I tried to think clearly, lit a cigarette to get my head together, noticed my hands were shaking a little. "I already gave you my answer."

"You're seriously worried about time?" Gojyo shouted, "Hell, the time it'll take to hunt him down and drag him back won't be anything compared to how long it'll take us to get to India without him!"
"That's not the point!"

"What is the point then?"

"You're that dense?" I snapped the cigarette in half, threw it down. "I have to spell it out for you? Fine. I will.

"Hakkai is berserk. Even if we bring him back, he won't be himself. At some point, he'll try to kill us. We don't know when, we'll have no way of anticipating it, and I refuse to have an unpredictable enemy travel with us, let alone drive us to India!"

"What about them?" He gestured to Kougaiji and Dokugakuji. "They're traveling with us? You trust them more than you trust Hakkai?"

"Don't get me wrong, if I could just send them away I would, but at least they aren't completely crazy."

"He's not completely crazy!"

"He's out of control! You saw what he did, just like the rest of us."

"Yeah, he killed a guy who attacked us. I thought that was the idea: killing enemies."

"Come to think of it, that is the idea." I told him darkly, "The only reason to look for Hakkai I could conceive right now would be so I could put a bullet through his head."

That infuriated him. I watched the rage come to life in his eyes, "You bastard! You fucking asshole! You won't go find him and even just try to help him, you just wanna' fucking kill him? Before we even get a chance to-"

"What do you think this is? A field trip? Some sort of extended bonding time? You think this is some kind of friendly road trip? You stupid youkai are always on the brink of going insane, and when you do, I have to finish you off. I don't care. I don't have time to care. It isn't my problem."

"Sanzo-" Goku tried to interrupt again, but was immediately drowned out.

"You are so full of shit, Mister Holy. You're completely deluded to even say that it's 'not your problem'. You're the one who has to kill us if we go insane. So who's problem is it?"

"I'd say, from the way you're acting, it's yours."

"Why? Because I give a shit? I don't want him to go nuts and kill people? So that makes me an idiot?"

"Of course it does. And you shouldn't flatter yourself over it. No matter how you think about it, you are still an idiot."

"Oh right, I give a damn about my teammates, so I'm automatically stupid."

"Don't try to turn this around and pretend to be some kind of hero. It doesn't suit a fuck-up asshole like you."

He took a step closer, like he might take a swing at me. "You're the fuck-up, Sanzo. Especially if you're going to stand there and tell me you don't care about what happens to one of your friends."

"Friends!" I laughed. "You shitheads are not my friends, understand?"

"Right. Obviously Great Lord Sanzo is way too powerful and important to be friends with a bunch of dirt rags like us."

"See there's your problem right there. You're much too caught up in personal history—what you owe him, what he owes you—you're letting it interfere with what's actually important."

"You're the one who's all wrapped up in your issues. I don't even wanna' think about what kinda' sick, fucked up shit goes on in your head to make you not want to help your own fucking teammates!"

"I wouldn't point fingers if I were you, you clingy, little bitch."

"Shit, you're so fucked in the head, you don't even know what a normal relationship looks like."

We were head to head now, screaming in each other's face. I could see he wasn't even thinking about backing down, and I sure as hell wasn't going to.

"Normal my ass. Go ahead and tell me that your friendship with Hakkai isn't completely selfish."

"I don't know what you're-"

"He cleans up after you, he cooks for you, he helps you pay for things because you're a shitty gambler, he sits up waiting for you when you're out partying. Don't think I haven't heard all about every stupid, inconsiderate thing you've done since you started living together."

"Fuck yourself! You have no idea what you're talking about!"

"What the hell do you contribute anyway? For the life of me I can't figure out why he puts up with your bullshit! You're a useless, brain dead, selfish, thoughtless dickhead who can't put a fucking sandwich together the right way!"

"And you're a girly-ass, punk-fucking, heartless, piece of shit charlatan who doesn't care about anything he doesn't see in the mirror every day!"

"Guys!" Goku shouted. I think he'd been shouting a while now, but I hadn't noticed what he'd been saying, but now he was so loud, and his voice was so demanding, I couldn't so much as tune him out. "Stop fighting!"

I hadn't heard Goku scream quite like that in a long time—it was completely out of character for him to take on any kind of authority or to sound like he thought he knew what he was talking about. It was enough to stun us into momentary silence, and he took advantage of the hesitation, immediately. "Fightin' ain't gonna' fix nothin', all right? Screamin' at each other an' pointin' fingers at each other won't change each other. And it won't help Hakkai! We gotta' go after him, Sanzo! Maybe it's not too late."

"I'm not even going to discuss it, Goku. As far as I'm concerned, it is too late. The three of you are nothing but liabilities, and I have no use for traitors."

Goku looked genuinely hurt by my words, and I felt guilty immediately, wished there were a way to take it back.

And at the same time, it was true.

"Please, Sanzo." He asked a little more quietly, "Let's just go an' look for Hakkai. Let's just check it out."

"For the last time, I won't. If you want to, go ahead—I'm not stopping you—but leave me out of it."

Gojyo walked away immediately, "Fine. Good luck getting to India alone, dick."

"Gojyo, wait." Goku called after him.

He paused to look back at him, shoving his hands into his pockets, "Awe, forget him, Goku. Let him be an asshole if he wants; I'm not wasting a second of my time dicking around with him anymore. I'm gonna' find Hakkai and do whatever I have to do to make him normal again, and I don't need Sanzo to do it."

Goku stared wide-eyed at him.

So he added, almost as an afterthought, "You can come though. That'd be cool." Then he lit a cigarette, turned away, and vanished into night.

Goku called after him a few times, but he just kept right on walking.

In a moment or two, Dokugakuji ran after him, "Goj, wait a sec!"

"Good riddance." I snorted, lighting my own cigarette.

"Sanzo? You're just lettin' 'im go?"

"Feel free to join him, if you want. I'm going back to the inn." I'd need to rest if I was going to be on foot from now on.

Goku didn't answer, and I was a little grateful for that. It would be nice if he didn't take off too, but I wasn't holding my breath, hoping against hope for it.

I turned and looked at the body of Chang again, felt another shudder stealing through me.

Unbelievable.

Just like that, the whole team's in pieces.

Unbelievable Hakkai had done such a thing. I'd seen my teammates spill plenty of blood, watched them kill in dozens of creatively gory ways, and yet, watching Hakkai rip Chang apart with his bare hands, laughing all the while, was just a little more than I could stand. He was supposed to kill the enemy, but something so inhuman and out of character was beyond overkill.

He didn't even need to remove his limiter.

So was the limiter not working? Had he gone berserk without anyone noticing?

I can't trust anyone but myself, and this just proves it. I'd be lucky if they all went away.

I couldn't afford to keep babysitting those nitwits, and I certainly wasn't going to put myself in a position where I needed them.

I know all too well how that goes. I'd be better off alone anyway.

It seemed like I might get my wish.