Not sure how to feel about this chapter…it was just some things that had to be done in order to keep the story moving. Hope somebody out there likes it.

Dokugakuji

The town was eerie and silent, and every person I passed was human, reminding me of just how many years it had been since I'd gone wandering around in a human town like this. My home town, where I'd grown up with Gojyo, had been made up of both humans and youkai, but there had always been a larger, stronger population of youkai there, so fitting in had always been easy. Everyone had always gotten along—humans and youkai were friends there—even if they were a little bit segregated. It had been a small enough town that everyone knew each other. When I was really young, I had thought it was cool that everybody knew everybody.

Around the time I turned six, I had learned that everybody knowing everybody wasn't very cool after all. Everyone knew everyone's business. Everyone gossiped about it at their leisure. It went without saying that when the scandal with my father happened, it was all over town. Sha cheated on his wife—isn't that horrible? His mistress is a human. I heard she's pregnant now…

I'd heard it all. My mother had heard it all. My father had heard it all. I guess that was why he'd decided to kill himself, so he wouldn't have to keep dealing with the shame of everyone knowing what he'd done.

The coward's way out. I can't believe he left us behind over that.

Gojyo's mother must have felt the same way, or maybe he'd just talked her into it. I'd only met her a couple of times, but she'd always struck me as being a little weak-willed, easy to manipulate. Then again, she had a lot to live for, before her son was born, and it might have taken some convincing to get her to give it all up. Maybe she was just too heart broken to think of living without my father... Mom had had a hard time with that, but at least she'd done it.

The whole thing was just sad. Gojyo's mom was a beautiful woman. Probably the most beautiful human woman in the whole town. Even as a child, I'd thought so, and I'd come across some pictures of her when I became a teenager. Definite boner material, Gojyo's mom, and a lot younger than Dad too.

No wonder Mom was so jealous…

Since I'd left that place, I'd been in and out of a lot of different towns, some human, some youkai, so I'd seen and felt and tasted prejudice. I'd been turned away in the rain. I'd gotten my ass kicked for being a member of the wrong race, in the wrong place, at the wrong time. I'd seen how unfair the world could be. Since joining Kou, I didn't go out into the real world very much, and since the chaos began, I hadn't been in any towns.

In light of that, I should have felt interested and excited, maybe, to be here, but I just felt uncomfortable.

And walking side by side with Cho Hakkai wasn't making it any better. It was…awkward. I was already on edge, because the limiter was robbing me of my natural power, and I didn't like being away from Kou. I knew he was probably still waiting for me on the outskirts of town, near the shabby, little inn Sanzo had chosen, and I'd probably get back to him before the DethBreed was anywhere near this village, but I still hated the idea that something could happen to him while I was away, jerking off with the better half of the Sanzo Ikkou. I guess I felt like everything was just a little out of my control.

Somehow walking with Hakkai made that feeling much, much worse. I could sense his youkai energy, even with his limiter on, and it was a scary, scary feeling. Like the power of the sun blazing through a layer of clouds. It was everywhere, almost tangible, overwhelming in a way. He acted pretty tamely. He didn't say so much as a word to me, but he was behaving like a human. A human with the burning chi of a crazed youkai. When I thought of how he'd acted the night all of us fought Ryptcore, or how he'd apparently torn an officer of the DethBreed limb from limb without even removing his limiter, I felt a little bit sick, and even sort of scared. Here was a guy you did not want to mess with, just like Goku without his diadem. Both of them were insanely powerful, and merciless.

And they think we're the bad guys.

I only knew one thing for sure. I did not want my prince fighting Cho Hakkai in his limitless form. Kou was strong, but his heart did interfere with his actions pretty much all the time, and if what I was sensing out of Cho Hakkai right now was just the beginning of his strength, I knew Kou wouldn't stand a chance. There might be a day when I couldn't avoid that, but for now, if I could prevent it somehow, I would definitely do whatever it took.

Then again, maybe it wasn't Kou I was worried about right now, exactly.

I blurted out, "What'dya' do to my brother? He looked pretty trashed."

Cho Hakkai returned, in an ultra-calm voice, "Yes, well…he's somewhat reckless and he hardly ever thinks things through… You know how he is. Ah. Excuse me. Perhaps you don't."

I couldn't say for sure, but that last part seemed pretty snide, like maybe he didn't like me pointing fingers at him. I didn't appreciate him telling me I didn't know my own brother very well. "You're telling me you didn't do that?"

"Not at all. But…even if I had, what, may I ask, would you do about it?"

"Dunno'." I couldn't help scowling, "That's my kid brother, you know. Nobody messes with my brother."

"Well." He said slowly, "I can't imagine why you're purposefully getting into this particular discussion. As I understand it, Gojyo hasn't been your brother in over ten years now. You hardly know him. Furthermore, I can think of two very particular physical disfigurations that make your latter statement invalid. Somebody certainly got away with messing with your kid brother quite a bit."

It was a low blow. It made me angry, just like that, "Who do you think you are, saying that shit to me? You don't know anything about it."

"You were the one who started this conversation. I'm merely pointing out the fact that you have no right whatsoever to be indignant over his current physical state. After all, slinging the word otouto-chan around isn't going to suddenly put the two of you on the same side."

And that was a ridiculously quick deduction. I wondered if Gojyo had told him anything about the couple of talks we'd had before the two of them took off. No… I got the feeling Cho Hakkai was just that smart.

Smart and powerful. Hakkai was deadly, and I'd better watch my step.

"I ain't trying to start a fight." I said casually, "Just, if you're gonna' go crazy, I don't wanna' see you take Gojyo down with you."

He was quiet. Maybe I'd struck a chord myself.

"The two of you seem like you're pretty good friends."

"Does that bother you?" He smiled at me, way too pleasantly.

"No, of course not. It's good to know the kid's finally got some friends." I smiled back. "But you know…Goj was never very good at making the right kind of friends. He always winds up with the kinda' people who are gonna' use him or keep him down."

"Hm. I think you're right."

"Maybe you're right. It's been a long time since I saw Gojyo, so maybe I'm out of line, acting like I can just step in and be his big brother out of nowhere. Still, I don't wanna' see him get hurt."

His voice was a little softer when he answered, "You're certainly barking up the wrong tree this evening, Dokugakuji."

Was I? Or maybe I'd found the right tree to bark up. If Gojyo was too stubborn to get out of this mess while he still could, maybe there was another way for me to get him out of it.

"Right, right. Look, I get how this minus wave thing works, a little bit. Youkai losing their sanity… none of them wanna' hurt the people they care about, but maybe they just can't help it. I've heard about some crazy shit since all this started happening.

"You must mean something to my brother, or he wouldn't have gone after you the other night. If he means anything to you at all, maybe you better do the poor kid a solid, know what I mean?"

Cho Hakkai didn't speak for a second, I thought I might be getting my message through all right, and then he smiled, suddenly, "Do not make the mistake of assuming I'm as dense as he is, Dokugakuji. It's perfectly obvious what you're trying to do, and even if, perhaps, at the heart of the matter, there's a noble cause—some leftover sense of responsibility you can't get out of your system—I'd advise you to put your energy into something you'll be a bit more successful at."

"Like I said. I just don't wanna' see him get hurt."

"Well, now that you mention it, neither do I. However, your misconception is in thinking of him as a 'poor, naïve, friendless kid'. It's no wonder he's irritated with you. Having not witnessed his progress into adulthood, you apparently still think of him as the twelve-year-old you left behind."

"Hey, I-"

"I don't care why you did it, so please save your breath." He interrupted, harshly almost. "Furthermore, take into consideration that it will require much more than your pathetic attempts at espionage to drive Gojyo away from us. For one thing, I've become rather accustomed to being around him, and I'm not sure how willing I would find myself to let him go, even if it were in his best interest.

"I can't explain it exactly. I suppose there's a certain sense of loyalty and regard that comes from knowing full-well that you owe someone your life, and that, no matter how many times you repay that debt, it will always be residing inside you. It's a choice, really—a conscious decision—to stand by that person no matter what, and to put everything on the line for them, when and if it's required. Such a thing transcends friendship."

I couldn't help staring at him. Did someone tell him to say that?

It was true though, wasn't it? When I thought of Kou and how much I'd done and risked for Kou over the years, and how it just never seemed like enough in the face of what he had given me from the very start. There had been times when I thought I was forcing my friendship on him, because he looked like Gojyo to me, because I wanted to make up for the fact that I really hadn't been able to help my brother, but in the end, Kou was Kou, and Gojyo was Gojyo. I knew that. And I valued that. Over time, I'd come to love Kou for who he was, and not because he reminded me of my brother. Now I didn't think there was anything that could tear me away from him. Even being away from his side at this very moment was difficult, because I hated to think that while I was away, my prince might need me, and I wouldn't be able to protect him. It made me walk a little faster, but it also made me think a little bit differently as well.

We went a little bit further in silence before I finally asked, "You really…think of him that way?"

Cho Hakkai laughed a bit, "I'm afraid so."

"I didn't realize…"

"Well, it's not exactly common knowledge. Most men don't openly their relationship with their best friend."

Now I felt a little like an asshole. I had just assumed that because my brother was a hanyou, there was no way he could have found in someone else what I'd found in Kou. What was even worse was that I'd sincerely been trying to separate him from his friends ever since Ryptcore came along; even if I'd told myself it was because I didn't want him to get hurt, it was selfish. Maybe I was just letting my jealousy get the best of me. I thought of how I'd seen Gojyo act with his friends, hanging off them and rough-housing with them and laughing and teasing them. It was exactly the way he'd used to act with me, back when we were kids, as soon as his obnoxious personality began to set in. The only difference then had been that I was the only person he'd done that with. In the whole town, I was the only one he'd been that close to, because it was just me who'd overlooked the scandal, my father's sin, and Gojyo's heritage. I was the only one who'd picked him up and said 'I'll love this kid anyway'. He had needed me. For years I'd been everything. His friend, his brother, his teacher, his parent, his leader, his ally, his protector, his comfort, his safety, his warmth, his confidant, his strength, his hope, his joy and his love. I might as well have been the sun, the moon and the stars too. I had been his whole world.

And now, because of the decision I'd had to make, because of the consequences of what I'd done, I'd lost my spot of veneration and love in his heart and mind. I was practically a stranger to him now, and when I looked at him, I didn't know him. Hakkai was right—I didn't know what Gojyo was like anymore. I didn't know how he'd changed or what had caused those changes, but I couldn't think of him the way I had when we were children, because that Gojyo was gone. Because I had let that Gojyo go.

Maybe he'd looked for me after that, and maybe he hadn't. I had no way of knowing now. In the end though, one way or another, he'd moved on from what we'd been, and he'd replaced me. He had a whole new world.

'…yeah, I'm sticking by my choice too…'

Somewhere in my heart, that hurt a little, knowing that the Sanzo Ikkou meant more to him than I did. Knowing that Cho Hakkai had taken my place as his brother and confidant, did make me feel insanely jealous. I wanted to tell him that he didn't know anything about Gojyo, that I'd known him before Hakkai even knew Gojyo was alive, that I'd fed him, nursed him when he was sick, and taught him to read and write, and practically raised him. But what difference did it make when that Gojyo that I'd practically raised was gone?

Maybe what really was hurting me was the knowledge that Cho Hakkai knew the new Gojyo—the true Gojyo—better than I did.

But, should I let that jealousy run rampant and start destroying things? Should I let it control me? Shouldn't I let it go now?

In the end, I'd made my choice, and there was nothing in the world that would convince me to abandon Kou, so I couldn't switch sides, not even for Gojyo, so had I honestly expected him to leave Hakkai and the others just because of me?

Someday…I better start to wise up.

We had come to the inn where Sanzo was staying, so I stopped, sort of expecting to see Kou there somewhere, waiting for me. I didn't see him, but I tried not to worry, looked up at the building, "This is it. As far as I know, Sanzo's inside."

"Ah, yes. Thank-you very much." He was already walking away.

I watched him for a second, still feeling guilty and stupid. I mumbled after him, "You're welcome. And hey, good luck."

"I'm sure I'll need it."

With that, he was gone, and I walked away to find Kou. He wasn't that far away. I just had to walk through the shadows and the alleys, out to the edge of town, where the lights of the buildings glowed in a circle behind me, like a camp fire, and Kou was sitting out there, in the dark, keeping watch over the hills and the stretching grasslands around us.

"Welcome back." He greeted me without looking up. "Did you find the kid?"

"Yeah. He's with Lei and Gojyo now."

"Then Sanzo and his party are reunited?"

"No. Not exactly. Not yet. Probably by morning."

"Hn. It makes me nervous, having them scattered around."

"Me too." I studied his face in the moonlight, thinking about the things Cho Hakkai had said, still wondering if someone had told him to say that to me. All those things were the things I felt for Kou, the reasons I couldn't leave Kou, but Kou wasn't my brother. He was my friend, and my master, I'd follow him anywhere, and I really loved him. Right now…I just felt so…conflicted.

"If the DethBreed struck right now, we'd probably have to deal with them by ourselves."

"You think it's that bad?"

"It seems like the four of them are on the edge of falling apart completely."

And if that team of noisy, idiotic kids fell apart, what would happen to my brother?

"We can't help them." Kou decided, quietly.

"You mean we shouldn't help them. They're on the other side."

I knew I wasn't fooling anyone, but I didn't want him to even think that my loyalty to him could be compromised.

"Sides? In this ordeal, the sides are very blurry, I think. I don't particularly want a world full of chaos either, Dokugakuji, and I certainly don't want to see what the world would be like if that bitch was in control. But… You know the reasons for why I do what I do."

All for his mother's sake. Kou's devotion to family was boundless, and I was a little jealous of that quality. I wished I'd had a little more connection to my own family. I wished I wasn't totally estranged from the only family I had left now.

Shrugging that thought off, I answered, "None of that matters to me, Kou. I'll do anything you want me to do, because I'm on your side, no matter what."

He sat still a second longer, and then jerked his head in a nod, froze again. With a snarl, he was on his feet, moving forward a few steps, stalking like a tiger.

"Kou?"

Again, he stopped, hair hackling, body rigid.

"Kougaiji? What's wrong?"

"Look."

I stared out across the dark and the distance, toward the east, and for a long while, nothing moved. The land was ink-dark, even under the waxing moon. "What? I don't see any-"

"Sh."

After a handful of seconds, a light appeared in the distance, orange and wavering. Then another. And another. It wasn't long before there was an entire string of quivering lights, like torches, stretching across the horizon.

A chill sped down my spine as I moved to stand next to Kou. "What is that?"

He didn't answer, and we kept watching as more and more lights appeared, marching steadily toward the town. They were still miles away, so it might take them half the night to get here, but they were definitely coming our way.

Kou trembled beside me, his voice as dark as the night, soft and angry. "Perfect timing."

Shit.

That damn field trip had better get their act together.

Sanzo

As time dragged on, it seemed like doing this with no one but Goku was a little bit…awkward. That didn't make sense, because I was used to being on my own with Goku all the time, and the fact that it didn't make sense annoyed me. Maybe it was because he wasn't acting exactly himself.

The monkey talked like he was one-hundred-percent sure that Hakkai and Gojyo were going to come waltzing back in like nothing had happened, problem free and ready to move out, but I wasn't oblivious to the fact that he was constantly looking over his shoulder for them, or that he wasn't being his cheerful, happy-go-lucky self. I had noticed that he was nervous.

Nothing to be nervous about. I thought, lighting another cigarette. It was just a matter of being prepared and never letting our guards down.

Even now, he wasn't acting completely normal. We were sitting in the tavern at the inn we'd checked into. I'd finished eating several minutes ago, and now Goku was eating by himself, quietly, of all the unheard of things. He looked like he barely knew what to do with himself, not having anyone to fight over food with. Throughout the day, when he whined about being hungry, I knew it was all directed at me, and me alone, and even that was a little irritating. Those two idiots were supposed to be around to bear some of the burden of having to hear his incessant bitching. Those two idiots were supposed to-

No. I couldn't even let myself think about those misfits. I was never going to see them again, and that was fine by me.

I wasn't happy with the losers they'd been replaced by either. Kougaiji and his partner hanging around was very annoying to me. They were just sort of there, but I didn't feel like they were there for any real purpose. It had been days since we'd seen Ryptcore, and they hadn't even been there when Goku and I fought the DethBreed. I don't know why those two thought they'd be of any help. I wished they'd shove all their well-meaning nonsense up their own asses. After all, if Ryptcore came back, I couldn't count on them to help. Why should I trust my number one enemy to help us out when my own team mates had already….

Stop thinking about them.

I refused to care one way or another about whether or not tweedle-dee and tweedle-dumb ever came back. They could both go straight to hell. In the mean time, maybe I should look into getting a different form of transportation. I did have to say one thing about thing one and thing two not being around, and that was that not having Jeep was a major inconvenience.

Not a problem. Just an inconvenience.

That stupid, selfish Hakkai. It was his fault this was happening, so he could have at least left the car with me. Never mind that I barely knew how to drive. Getting to India was the only thing that mattered. Damn him.

Gojyo being gone was just a relief no matter how I looked at it. I didn't have to see his stupid, irritating face, and I didn't have to hear his obnoxious voice, or put up with the smell of his disgusting brand of cigarettes.

They can both go to hell.

Stop thinking about them.

The most frustrating thing by far was that our path was blocked, and our route was compromised. Goku was injured. I tried to tell myself that it was good to have come back here to regroup, but I was nervous.

As if there's anyone to regroup.

Goku was tireless. I was sick of having to entertain him all day, alone.

It was almost helpful that Lei had come along. She talked to him and walked with him and kept him company. Let her be the one to listen to him bitch about being hungry.

Of course, she'd probably find the kid she was looking for and go about her business. Just as well. I couldn't afford to have any extra baggage right now.

"Hey, Sanzo!" Goku practically shouted across the table, even though it was so small we might as well have been face-to-face. "Let's order dessert!"

"You actually expect me to waste money on something as trivial as dessert?"

"Why not? Dessert's good."

"Just finish eating, Goku." I rubbed the bridge of my nose, trying to massage away the headache that was coming on again. As soon as this awkward, little meal was over, I was going up to the room to go to sleep, and for once I wasn't going to hear anyone make fun of me for going to bed so early. I wasn't going to put up with some immature idiot telling me I was an old man. If Goku wanted to say something about it, I was going to smack him.

Tiredly, I realized it was going to be hard to get Goku to go to bed this early. He was still all wound up—walking all day didn't faze him in the slightest—and now there was no one to fool around with him until he was tired.

Damn you two idiots.

Selfish from beginning to end. How I wished I'd never met those two idiots. How I'd love to find them and-

"Hey." Goku said, a little bit softer, "That guy over there…"

"What now?" It had better not be an enemy. I wasn't in the mood for a fight, but then again…blowing someone's head off might make me feel better. In the way of heads to blow off, I definitely had my preferences, but I'd settle for anyone right about now.

"He…kinda' looks like Hakkai."

I frowned at him, almost told him to stop mentioning those people, and then suddenly decided I'd better take a look, just so, when he was wrong, as he definitely had to be, I'd have a good excuse to hit him with the fan.

I turned around in my chair, and saw what he was talking about, immediately. The man who'd just come through the tavern door was the exact height and build of Hakkai, with the exact hairstyle and color, face and eyes, but…his demeanor was completely wrong. The way he was walking, the way he conducted himself…it just wasn't right. He looked too wild to be Hakkai, as if being inside the room bothered him, and he was much, much too nervous. Hakkai was about a hundred times more collected than the guy walking toward us, who was glancing around the room and over his shoulder every two seconds.

Jeep was sitting on his shoulder, like he belonged there. Obviously he'd mistaken this imposter for Hakkai just like Goku had. A couple of dumb animals.

"Sanzo." Goku hissed, "It is Hakkai."

"No. It's just some strung-out look-alike."

"But Sanzo!"

The longer I watched the man, the surer I felt that it couldn't possibly be Hakkai. He wasn't even dressed like him. He had a plain, white t-shirt on, not the normal, green garb. I didn't see his glasses either.

"It's not him." I insisted.

Goku frowned—about as much as Goku could frown—and then suddenly sat up straight, waving his arm and calling out, "Hey, Hakkai! Ya' made it!"

Hakkai's wannabe look-alike came toward us. He smiled like Hakkai would, but it didn't look quite sincere. Like the rest of him, it seemed hurried, nervous, and a little wild.

And then I could sense it, his aura. I don't know how I'd missed it before, unless it was just because it was so inflated that it was swallowing everything else I could sense. It was a hot, heavy, raging feeling, chaotic, powerful and depthless, and then I knew it was Hakkai; it was an enlarged, enflamed, overpowering version of how Hakkai felt on a day by day basis. More than that though, it was completely demonic, and it put me on edge immediately.

He came and stood beside our table, a respectful distance away, I thought, which was sinister in its own way, because he was supposed to be on our side. "Ah, Sanzo, Goku. Hello."

Goku bounced out of his chair immediately, and if he noticed how freakishly unnatural Hakkai's chi was, he didn't let on, "Man, am I glad ta' see you. I told ya' they'd come back, Sanzo. Didn't I? He didn't believe me, Hakkai, but I knew ya' would. And you're okay! Ya' look normal an' stuff."

While he was babbling away, I reached into my robe and found my gun, set it nonchalantly on my lap, and looked up at him. "What are you doing here?"

The fake smile slid off Hakkai's face, and he reached up to pat Jeep's head, rather than looking at me. "Goodness, Sanzo. That's quite the question, isn't it? I should think my reason for coming here would be perfectly obvious."

"Well it isn't, so explain yourself. Before I put a bullet in your head."

Both of them stared at me. Goku stammered, "H-hey, Sanzo…?"

"Goku, leave us alone."

The monkey didn't move. He looked pretty determined to stay right where he was, even though I had no idea what he thought he could accomplish if he did.

"You heard me, monkey. Go outside."

Hakkai smiled at him, pleasantly, "It's all right, Goku. Here, why don't you take Jeep with you?"

Goku still looked reluctant, but he glanced at me, took Jeep from Hakkai's shoulder, and headed for the door, checking over his shoulder several times as he went.

As soon as he was gone, I repeated, "What are you doing here, Hakkai?"

"Really now, Sanzo. You're being even more hostile than usual, don't you think? May I sit down? I've had a rather long day."

I looked him up and down, noticing the blood staining clothes and hands. Some of it looked relatively fresh, and I hated to think that he might have recently made a kill.

"Where's Gojyo?" I demanded.

"Gojyo? Why… Gojyo's…with a woman, though I'm not sure of where exactly, at the moment."

"That sounds like a pretty vague answer. After everything that happened, you'd think he'd be with you, right here."

"Yes. Well…he didn't really care to see you, Sanzo."

"Hmph. That's great, because I don't really care to see him either. In fact, I don't know why I bothered asking—it's none of my business what happened to him."

"What makes you think anything happened to him?" I'd have to be stupid not to hear all the guilt in his voice.

"You're covered in blood—that's a start."

Hakkai frowned. It was darker than usual, and I tightened my hold on my gun. "I didn't kill him, if that's what you mean. To be fully honest, I'm a bit tired of everyone just assuming I would kill Gojyo so easily."

"After what you did, I wouldn't take it so personally."

His expression grew even darker, but he must not have had any way to defend himself, because he didn't.

"Fine then. So whose blood is it?"

"Gojyo's."

"Is that supposed to be funny, Hakkai?"

"I can't imagine anything about being covered in Gojyo's blood being funny. However, it's not what you think. We encountered that youkai woman after leaving you; Gojyo was badly injured. I had to heal him. Is that a sufficient enough explanation?"

"Feh. Sounds like that idiot got exactly what he bargained for." From the look and feel of Hakkai, Gojyo was lucky to be alive at all. If he really was in the first place.

"Unfortunately, yes. I believe that's true. Might I sit down now, Sanzo? As I already mentioned, I'm quite tired."

"You can keep standing. I'm not in the habit of sitting around with berserk youkai."

Hakkai flinched, like I'd slapped him, but again, he didn't bother to object. Did that mean I was right? He was wearing his limiter. Could he just be pretending not to be berserk? It was too tense of a situation for me to risk assuming anything else.

"For the last time now, why in the hell are you here? A straight answer this time."

"I came to see you, of course."

"How did you know I was here?"

"Dokugakuji showed me."

"And what did you expect to accomplish by coming to see me?"

"Well…why wouldn't I come to see you? We are still on the same side, aren't we?"

"Are we? You're the one who went nuts and ran out on me."

"I…" The guilt was there again, barely concealed under manners and patience, "I did what I thought was best at the moment. I didn't mean to leave permanently."

"You should have stayed away regardless."

"Oh? And why is that?"

I glanced around the room, all too aware of how public a place this was. If I had to defend myself, or if I had to fire for some reason, it could get a little messy. "You know why."

Of course, now that he was here, that could mean that he wasn't exactly berserk yet. I might still be able to help him. His aura was out of control, even with the limiter on, and his eyes were wild, but it might not be too late. What could I do though? How could I help him before it was too late?

"Well, far be it from me to expect to know my own mind, but I don't think I'm berserk just yet."

"You don't think so?"

"Not particularly."

"Then would you mind explaining what the other night was about?"

"It seems as though any violent stimulation is liable to throw me into a state of chaos."

How promising.

"In case you didn't notice, Hakkai, our mission is nothing but violent stimulation. We're not out to protect wildlife and adopt kittens, you know."

He studied me momentarily, "Are you honestly telling me to stay away, Sanzo?"

"Maybe I am. Figure it out yourself."

"I beg your pardon, but if I may, you not exactly in a situation where you can spurn the help of your own comrades. That would be foolish."

"I don't need comrades who are going to act like enemies."

Hakkai sighed, "No, of course not."

"You must have known that when you showed up here. I can't imagine why you bothered to come in the first place."

"Because, believe it or not, I am still your comrade, and I wanted to make sure you and Goku are both doing all right."

"I don't remember asking you to care about that."

"It hardly matters, wouldn't you agree? Very well then, let's discuss something else. Have you seen any sign of the DethBreed lately?"

"Since you killed that half-wit? We had a brief encounter with them in the next town west of here. Not that it's really any of your business."

"Hm. I can't imagine why it wouldn't be my business, Sanzo. If Ryptcore comes across me he'll try to kill me over my association with you. In all seriousness though, I was quite concerned for the two of you when I heard that he burnt down a town not far from here. I'm glad to see you're both all right."

I ground my cigarette out, keeping one eye on him at all times, thought of the flames we'd seen that evening, the horrible evidence that Ryptcore had set another town on fire, killing who knows how many people?

"I feel it's safe to assume that this town is next."

He couldn't be more right, seeing how this town was directly between the two towns Ryptcore had already razed, but I just said, "I'll deal with that if it happens."

"Yes, but, don't you think it would be wisest to put all of our eggs in one basket and-"

"Maybe if you weren't going to turn on me at the first sign of 'violent stimulation' we could actually do that."

Once again, it looked like he'd been slapped, and he didn't say anything for a moment. I tried not to let it bother me. In the end, all that mattered was that I had to keep the mission from falling apart."

"Then." He went on in a careful tone, "What about Gojyo?"

"What about him?"

"The three of you against Ryptcore would fair better than just the two of you, I believe."

"It's debatable whether or not having that idiot around would help, but either way, it doesn't matter unless he wants to help us. He's not some brat we have joint custody over. He's a sick, stubborn, selfish, little bastard."

"Yes, I suppose that's somewhat true. Er, the custody part, that is."

"Then again, if he keeps hanging around with you, he's probably going to get himself killed. That's the only reason you'd even bring it up."

"Not necessarily. I think his chance of surviving the fight against Ryptcore is as good as his chance of surviving being around me… Come to think of it, I believe that's true of all of you."

"As I said, I have more than enough enemies to deal with already, so excuse me if I don't beg you to come back. If Gojyo wants to come back, I can't stop him. I don't expect it though."

"No. You don't seem to expect much out of any of us." He seemed to be getting impatient with me.

"I know better."

"It goes without saying that I can't change your position on the matter, but never-the-less, I want you to be aware that the two of us will be nearby. I hope that, should Ryptcore and his army attack, we'll be able to assist, but I don't think I can promise that."

"Never mind, Hakkai. You're right; I don't expect anything from any of you."

I guess it was the last straw for him. The frown came back, even darker and more vicious than before, his eyes completely clouding over with anger and ferocity, and he leaned toward me, ever so slightly, "Sanzo-"

My waitress chose that moment to return to my table. She came up behind Hakkai, smiling congenially, laid a hand, innocently, on his shoulder, "Excuse me, sir. Will you be joining-"

With an outraged snarl, Hakkai turned on her, grabbed her wrist, twisting her arm back behind her back, and shoved her into the wall, pinning her there, teeth bared.

I leapt to my feet, snagged him by the shirt collar and jerked him away.

Hakkai crashed into the table, knocking dishes, food, and cigarette butts onto the floor. He clawed at me, catching a fistful of my robe as he fell to the floor, dragging me with him.

For a moment, I felt suspended in time. I could feel myself falling, Hakkai right in my face, with that inhuman, blood thirsty look in his eyes. All eyes in the room were on us. A woman was screaming. I didn't know what Hakkai was going to do when I landed on him, but he'd said it himself. Violent stimulation was bound to send him over the deep end. He was faster than me, and stronger than me, so I needed to get the upper hand in any way I could, because I was at a complete disadvantage.

I fell into him. For a second, we were tangled there on the floor, thrashing back and forth. Hakkai was snarling a little. I felt his hand clamp down on my shoulder.

I got my bearings as quickly as I could, pushed myself up onto my hands and knees so that I was crouching over him, feeling his fingers dig into my skin.

I jammed the barrel of my gun right at his face, the muzzle hovering just a hair's breadth from his forehead.

Hakkai froze, eyes going wide immediately as he stared down the black pipe of the gun.

Everyone else in the tavern was silent.

My trigger finger was itching. My other hand was gripping his wrist for all it was worth.

One wrong move. Just one wrong move. Just the slightest hint of retaliation, and I would have to shoot him. I couldn't afford not to.

Please, Hakkai…Don't make me shoot you…

I shoved those thoughts away, spoke firmly, "Let go."

Immediately, he retracted his hand. He didn't take his eyes off me, and he didn't look like he was out for blood.

Hakkai was hard to read even when he was himself. I didn't dare trust that face of his.

He took a sharp breath, which transformed inevitably into my name, "Sanzo-"

But I didn't want to hear it. Whatever pathetic, stupid thing it might be. "Shut up."

I was climbing to my feet. I kept the gun leveled at his head. I struggled to stay calm. One wrong move…

Maybe I shouldn't even wait for that one wrong move. Hakkai was so far gone…absurdly far gone… Maybe to the casual observer, maybe to the simple eye of Goku, maybe to everyone else in the room, he looked normal and human, polite and casual, but the youkai power in him was sweltering, roaring to be unleashed. It could just be a matter of time. Maybe by waiting for the wrong moment, I'd be allowing him to go berserk.

Then again, if I didn't shoot him now, there was a small chance he'd be able to get a hold of himself, and, possibly, go back to being normal, nosey, annoying Hakkai.

There was only one way to find out.

Hakkai stayed on the floor, watching me with a sort of resigned wariness, as if he expected me to shoot him right there, in front of everyone, like a rabid dog. Maybe he thought it was necessary.

"Up." I snarled.

He got up, slowly, raising his hands in a gesture of surrender. "It was a mistake, Sanzo. A simple reaction."

The only one making a mistake here was me. I should have killed him the night he knocked me across the room in Feng's jail.

"I've been on edge. My day has been stressful at best, and I wasn't expecting someone to come up behind me."

It wasn't like Hakkai to make excuses. Still, I felt inclined to believe him, because he'd said in the beginning that he'd had a long day, he'd told me they'd encountered Jade, and he'd said Gojyo had been injured. In light of those things alone, it was probably normal to be nervous and edgy.

If I let him go though, was I going to regret it? Once I lowered my gun, was he going to attack me?

That wasn't a risk I was willing to take.

"Get out." I growled. "Now."

Hakkai lingered a split second, and then nodded, began to back away, hands still raised.

I kept my gun aimed at his head.

No one else in the room moved, unless it was to step out of his way, and then he was by the door, where he hesitated to speak to me, "I'm sorry, Sanzo."

"Just get out of here, Hakkai. Before I change my mind."

Another moment. "My offer still stands." With that, he lowered his hands, turned on his heel, and strode out of the tavern.

I waited until I was sure he was gone before I put my gun away, and then went to pay the tavern check, ignoring all the bewildered looks I was getting. I was just about fed up with people by the time I made my way to the back door and stepped out into the night.

The air was cool and fresh and clean. The night was peaceful. I lit a cigarette to try to calm my nerves.

Damn, what a shitty situation. Hakkai didn't think he was berserk, but he wasn't acting himself by any means. Anyway, not completely. All his surface actions were right…but beneath the façade there was chaos and despair. The chaos made me feel like I should kill him. The despair made me want to help him. I didn't have time for either.

It wasn't a situation I could ignore, especially when…

No. I don't need him. I don't need any of them—I don't trust any of them.

I should have just shot the bastard and been done with it.

I hadn't been standing there very long, when I heard footsteps hurrying up behind me. They stopped just a few feet away.

"Sanzo." Kougaiji's voice hissed.

The hair on the back of my neck stood on end when I heard him. I still couldn't get used to working on the same side as him. We'd never put a ton of sincere effort into actually killing one another, but when the time came, I'd kill him if need be. He was the enemy, and I'd do well not to forget it.

"What?" I asked brusquely. The encounter with Hakkai had left me feeling agitated. More agitated than usual even.

"I'm afraid we have some bad news."

"Great. Let's hear it."

There was the briefest moment of hesitation as he waited, probably just building the damn suspense, and then he said plainly, "Ryptcore is coming."

Absolutely perfect.