a/n - Originally, the story ended after chapter four. Only when I posted that on AO3, the overwhelming response was "HOW DARE YOU END THIS LIKE THAT?!" ...so I wrote this. Which covers the entire story (including through just after Dean's account ends) from Castiel's perspective.

With that comes two things you should know:

1. Castiel's family in this story is as follows: Chuck, Naomi, Cas, Alfie, and Jesse (the anti-christ!). I get bored with writing the usual Michael-Lucifer-Gabriel-Anna-etc family sometimes.

2. This chapter comes with heavily implied Dean/Gabriel. This comes from the fact that...well... the phrases "I've made a huge mistake," "I just got home from Gabriel's," and "I cheated on you, Cas" in quick succession are never good. I'll leave it up to you whether you're with Cas on whether Dean did or did not sleep with Gabe, though. I think at this point you've been given enough information to figure it out.

Not-exactly-chapter-five: You Know It's Just For You

It happened like this:

First he was angry.

He was angry for weeks – months, even – after it happen. He felt betrayed. In fact, he was betrayed. No subjective feelings about it.

And not just by Dean, either. He was the first and most angering of the offenders, but he was by no means alone.

Gabriel fucking Milton was a contributor as well.

And he was growing more and more annoyed by the text messages and phone calls from both of the above, not to mention the above's brother (or in the second's case, unrequited love interest) and the brother's girlfriend, and basically everybody else he'd ever interacted with in the entire time he'd lived in Lawrence. Hell, even Anthony Crowley had given him a call or seven.

That Dean had cheated was plenty – even if it had just been the once, it had utterly shattered Cas's trust – but Gabriel was Cas's best friend and frankly it didn't matter how drunk they'd been.

So he was angry.

Second he was embarrassed.

He woke up one morning and he knew, he knew that it had all been blown out of proportion. It was a few months into his somewhat pathetic living with various family members (first Alfie, then Jesse and their parents, then Chuck and Becky, then cousin Tessa, then Naomi, then his friend Charlie Bradbury just for the hell of it, and now Jesse and their parents again), and he sat in his childhood bedroom and stared at the photo of himself and Dean that hung on the wall for a few hours.

Sometime around midday, his mother tapped on the door. "Castiel? Are you alright?"

No point lying, he thought, Mom always knows. "Not really, no."

The door opened and his mother entered the room and sat down next to him on the bed. "What's wrong?"

"I've made a huge mistake," Cas said. He closed his eyes, willing away the tears that had formed when he echoed Dean from all those months ago.

"Dean?"

"Yeah." Cas opened his eyes again, staring at the photo again. "I blew the whole thing out of proportion, I know it now. I mean, yeah, he screwed up big time, but... he told me. Came in the next morning and told me what happened and then I still blew up and I ran out. I wouldn't even hear him out, I think he had more he wanted to say. And I – Mom, I miss him. He screwed up, yeah, but he loved me and I loved him – love him."

"You could go back," his mother suggested.

Cas shook his head. "I couldn't. They won't want me back there. If for no other reason than that I hurt Dean and ignored them all for months."

"But they've spent those months trying to get hold of you," she pointed out.

"They stopped."

"So just because your friends have decided to finally respect the space you clearly want and you take it to mean that they don't care anymore? Castiel Zachariah Shurley, you find some sense or I will knock it into you!"

"I can't go back, Mama." He sighed. She wrapped her arms around him. "I made a huge scene, I severed ties... I can't just go crawling back.

"It'll work out, angel," she said. "I know it will."

Third he was sad.

He tried to carry on, but it was a little strange. He never quite settled anywhere, choosing still to spend time with his siblings, cousins, and friends who didn't live anywhere near Lawrence, Kansas.

It had been over a year now, and Cas was visiting Chuck and Becky in New Jersey.

Becky bounced into the kitchen one evening after work. "Chuck, we're going to Kansas!"

"Where?" Cas asked before he could stop himself.

"Lawrence," Becky answered. "I'm checking out this little place for Garth's show. S'got a really cute story behind it: this guy bought it because that's where he met the love of his life – only whoever it was had left him about a year before he bought the place. Apparently he figured that if they ever came back, they'd go there first."

Chuck, who had apparently seen the look on Cas's face, said, "Becky –"

"Isn't that just so cute?" Becky barrelled on.

"What's the restaurant called, Becky?" Cas asked.

"Oh, right, you used to live in Lawrence," Becky said. "Maybe you know the place."

"Becky," repeated Chuck warningly.

"It's called the Heaven Cafe," continued Becky.

Cas let out a breath he hadn't realised he was holding. "That's where I met –"

"The owner's a guy named Dean Winchester," Becky finished.

"Dean," finished Cas.

Chuck put his hand on his little brother's shoulder. "I'll be sure to check up on him for you, okay, Cassie?"

Cas nodded numbly.

A few months later, Cas was in Seattle and staying with their second youngest brother, Alfie. And their only sister, Naomi, had come up from LA to visit as well. Cas was reading in the guest room when Alfie came running upstairs, calling for him.

"Castiel! There's a place in Lawrence on Local Colour!" Alfie shouted. "Maybe you'll see someone you know!"

Cas followed his younger brother downstairs reluctantly. He sat down on the couch between Naomi and Alfie just in time to see the all too familiar face of Dean Winchester pop up on the screen, next to Garth Fitzgerald and a photo of Cas of all people.

"I've been livin' in town for years now," Dean said, "and comin' to Heaven just as long. And a few years back – goin' on seven now – Gabriel, the baker, introduced me to this guy named Cas." He gestured to the photo on the wall. "We met here, used to come here together all the time. He, ah, left almost two years ago. But I kept comin' to Heaven, and when it went on sale the manager made sure I was the first to know. I've always kind of thought that if Cas ever found his way back into town, he'd come here first. So I'm not moving any time soon."

Cas's jaw dropped. "No way. He didn't – he – I can't believe –"

But the episode didn't end there. Gabriel was still working as Heaven's pastry chef, apparently. Dean's half-brother had been hired as a waiter, along with a girl Cas had seen but never met, and Nat Coulson. Who actually talked in front of the cameras (after a quick chat with the other girl – Krissy, apparently – about not wanting/being able to talk in front of the cameras).

At that, Cas was both stunned and proud. And kind of surprised that Dean had hired her.

There were interviews with a lot of customers – mostly people who had been regulars before Cas had left Lawrence, and all people that he was at least familiar with.

The episode ended with a bit about Heaven's weekly open mic nights (which had definitely been established by Dean) and a clip of Dean singing.

"An' maybe I'll get famous as the man who can't be moved,

Maybe you won't mean to, but you'll see me on the news,

An' you'll come runnin' to the corner

'cause you know it's just for you..."

Alfie turned off the TV.

"You've got to go back," he said immediately.

"You can't," Naomi replied. "He hurt you, Castiel."

"And I hurt him," Cas pointed out. "But he... he still loves me."

"Castiel," Naomi began, with all signs pointing to the beginning of quite a long lecture on why he should not under any circumstances return to Lawrence, Kansas.

"Naomi, whether I go back is a decision I will make on my own," Cas interrupted before she could launch into the argument. Alfie opened his mouth, but Cas held up a hand. "I don't want to hear from you, either, Alfred Samandriel." He stood up. "If you'll excuse me, I think I'm going to go to bed."

Cas woke up the next morning to a missed call from Sam Winchester.

"Cas. Hi. It's Sam – obviously it's Sam. Your brother was in town a while ago, and Gabriel Milton recognised him. We didn't tell Dean at the time, but we talked to him. He said you still used this number. And also that you were miserable. And I'd just like you to know that Dean is, too. He tries to pretend, and things have actually gotten a lot better since he bought Heaven, but he misses you a lot. We all do, actually. But he misses you most. No question. Anyway, the point is... you're always welcome back in Lawrence. You know that, right? In fact, we're all hoping you'll come home sometime soon. ... See you around, Cas."

That settled it. Cas was going back to Lawrence.

He didn't go back right away – Naomi tried very very hard to convince him not to go at all – but after a few weeks of dillydallying he couldn't keep himself away any longer.

He walked in in the middle of a Thursday night 'Heartbreak Night.'

Dean was singing.

Nat saw him first. "Hey, welcome to Heaven, can I –" and then she dropped the plates she was carrying, recognition clear in her suddenly wide eyes.

Gabriel ran to help her clean up the broken china, but froze when he saw Cas.

"DEAN!" Nat called shakily.

Dean looked up. There was a pause, and then: "Cas?"

"Dean," replied Cas.

Dean set down his guitar and approached him. "Cas, I am so, so sorry."

"I know, Dean," Cas answered. "So am I."

That was when Cas's feet started to work again. He closed the remaining distance between himself and Dean in a few steps and pulled him into a tight embrace.

The entire restaurant broke into applause.

"I missed you so much," Cas said.

"I think it's pretty obvious that I missed you, too," replied Dean. And then he kissed Cas. In front of everyone.

Somewhere behind them, Gabriel cheered.