*crawls across floor* I'm sorrrryyyy…. I wanted to make this sooner but suddenly, LIFE HAPPENED.
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The sound of shuffling in darkness and a lamp illuminates the dark room as two figures are pushed into chairs. The sacs which covered their faces were yanked off in a flurry as Jack and Ralph blinked in the suddenly bright light, gasping for fresh oxygen.
"What in the Queen's bloody name possessed you to kidnap us?!" Jack screeched in indignation. His hair and clothes were rumpled and he was going to miss rehearsal. Not to mention the most obvious problem: he had been kidnapped!
"Oi. We'll be asking the questions here, bub," a burly girl growled, stepping forward and cracking her knuckles menacingly, daring the redheaded diva to pipe up again. Jack scowled, but contented himself to malicious (but silent) brooding.
"Now ladies," Ralph started, putting on his most charming smile that had swooned many across London, "Let's not be unreasonable. We were just searching for answers. Now how about—" charming hair-flip, flirty smile, "—you let us free, hmm? Or will I have to pull out the smolder?"
Smack.
Ralph's flabbergasted face whipped to the side and he gaped like a goldfish for a couple of moments before turning to his companion. "She hit me!" he cried, voice rising just an octave in disbelief. Jack rolled his eyes.
"Don't be such a baby. She's a woman. It couldn't have hurt that mu- oof!" Jack doubled over as another one of the girls stepped out and delivered a swift punch to the gut. Jack coughed, trying to catch his breath. This wasn't what he had planned for today. Hell, he hadn't planned for this to happen ever.
And his day had started out so nicely…. Well, as nice as it could get when one was friends with Ralph.
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Three Hours Earlier
"Jack! Jack! Jack! I've figured out our battle plan!" Ralph called, running over in an excited frenzy, sheets of loose-leaf notebook paper in one hand, and his usual Red Bull in another. Jack wrinkled his nose at the state that the blonde's poor heart must be in.
"The bloody hell are you gabbering about? And calm the hell down," Jack huffed, snatching the notebook paper from Ralph's flailing arm. Ralph just grinned, rocking on his toes like an over-excitable puppy. Jack scanned over the page and inwardly let out a groan. He had forgotten about the plan to get Roger a date for Prom; possibly because part of him wished it was just one of those spur-of-the-moment-Ralphy-things that only lasted for a day.
"Right…" Jack muttered handing the blonde back the wrinkled sheet covered in his chicken scratch.
"So, I was thinking that since the whole deal with Piggy was 99% unsuccessful, no thanks to you—"
"—Hey now! You dragged me into that! I did not ask to be made Cupid!"
"—Details, details. Anyway, instead, I was thinking that we go find the girls rather than having the girls come to us. And since Roger will be best not to know about this until its final stages, we want to keep this underwraps," Ralph explained logically. Jack hummed in response; there were times when Ralph did show streaks of intelligence showing that not all hope was lost upon the boy, until he said—"like secret agents of love!"
Jack leveled him with a dirty look, daring him to say that again. "Sounds great, but I can't do it from three to five-thirty." He took a bit from his mostly forgotten lunch as he noticed the time to eat was coming to a close.
"Why noo-ooot?" Ralph whined childishly, making Jack's eyes roll as he sipped from the iced coffee in his hands. "I have rehearsal, remember? Les Misérables? Playing Jean Valjean?" Ralph's eyes lit up as if this was the first time he heard this.
"You got the part? That's awesome!" Ralph praised. Jack just ducked his head in embarrassment as he threw his trash away and collected his things. "I told you three days ago," he huffed, attempting unsuccessfully to keep the pleased smile off his face. What could he say? He liked being showered with praise. "And don't you have football practice Monday, Wednesday, and Friday?" The only reason he knew was because Ralph came late whenever they met up and looked like he had just showered five minutes before.
"Oh… Damn. Well, I guess we better start now!" Ralph chirped, grabbing Jack's wrist and dragging him down an unused hallway. Jack squawked in indignation.
"What?! Now?! But I have Calculus!" He would like to so kindly remind Ralph that he was lousy in math and in order to be able to go to a nice acting college, he needed at least a high B. Ralph just waved off his worries.
"Please. I can tutor you in Calc later. 'S laughably easy." Calculus for Ralph, on the other hand, was one of his strong points, being one of the only two classes he didn't hold a C in (the other being Government). Jack grumbled to himself, but stopped struggling against the athlete. They headed into an empty classroom where Ralph sat down on the desks, whipping out a full sized map of the school. Jack set his stuff down, standing next to Ralph and looking at the map, mildly impressed.
"Where did you get this?" he asked, looking up at Ralph, who only held a finger to his lips with a devilish smirk. Jack, for the millionth time that day, questioned the sanity and morality of his friend.
"I was thinking we'd start off by surveying the school, locating possible candidates and weeding out whoever is a definite no," Ralph explained, finger trailing along the route in which they would take in order to avoid teachers looking for students who were trying to skip class.
"Sounds reasonable to me," Jack agreed. "So we'll start here?" He reached over Ralph's arm, pointing to the art class that wasn't too far from where they were currently. Ralph nodded and slid off the desk. "Let's leave our stuff here," Ralph said, plopping his backpack next to Jack's messenger bag. "We don't want our stuff to get in the way." And prevent a clean, quick getaway, was silently added. The two boys slipped out the room silently, after checking the hallway for no passing teachers. They headed through the dimly lit back hallways that were barely used except for the kids who smoked pot during class or those running really late. The main hallway was where everyone chose to travel through.
"You know, I think I saw this before in a movie," Jack whispered, rubbing his arms to keep off the chill.
"Really?"
"Yeah. And everyone was murdered by a serial killer."
"Ha-ha, Jack. This isn't a horror movie. Plus, the guy always lives, right?" Ralph asked softly, looking back at his companion for verification, but Jack just shrugged. He didn't watch a lot of horror movies, never had the patience for them. Roger liked them, but only the really good ones or the black and white classics.
"Here we are," Ralph whispered, stopping in front of the door that reeked of the chemical scent of paint on other art supplies. Paint was even splattered on the ratty carpet in front of it. They both peeked in the window on the door. The students were too busy with their art project to notice.
"So, we're getting an art student for Roger," Jack stated. Roger was concert master in their top orchestra, it did seem reasonable to find a girl that was also in the fine arts department.
"There are three girls in there in particular I think might be likely candidates," Ralph explained then pointed out the girls. "There's Allison,—" The one with long dark braids who was sculpting a modern art piece, "—Kaitlyn—" a girl with a bright blue headband pushing back her shoulder length blonde-streaked hair, "—and Ava." The final girl had curly light brown hair tied up in a high ponytail and had a grumpy look on her face.
"And we're going to interview them and all that jazz later, correct?"
"Affirmative!" Ralph chirped as they headed down another hallway, passing by the gym. Suddenly, they heard footsteps coming from the opposite hallway. Jack and Ralph gave each other looks of panic before Ralph yanked open a door, not bothering to read what was on the outside. He pushed Jack in.
'Hurry! Hurry!" he hissed before closing the door right as the footsteps turned the corner. Both boys let out a sigh of relief when they heard the sound of a possible teacher gone.
"Hey Ralph?"
"Yeah?"
"Where… exactly, are we?" Jack questioned, smelling the odd scent of perfume and girly deodorant. Ralph turned around and his face instantly was as white as a sheet.
"Oh shi—!" Jack didn't catch the last part as something heavy and solid hit the back of his head and his world went dark…
Present Time
"And that's how you ended up in the girls locker room as we were all showering?" the burly girl, Daisy they learned, growled menacingly, looking like they didn't believe Ralph as he explained their story.
"It's true!" Jack protested, squirming again. He gave input to keep from their account from going too crazy as Ralph was retelling it.
"And why should we believe you?" another girl asked suspiciously.
"Because we don't want to die!" Jack burst out, exasperated. Ralph nodded in agreement, tears misting over his light green eyes.
"We're too pretty to diii-iiie!" he cried, squirming even more. Jack kicked Ralph's chair with his foot to stop him from looking so pathetic.
"Jack? Ralph?" a voice, a male voice, came as Roger pushed himself through the crowd and looked down at the tied up duo. "I didn't realize you were into this kind of kink…"
"We're not! We've been kidnapped and—"
"I don't want to diiiie!"
"Shut up Ralph! And these girls won't let us go!"
Roger looked at them, more confused than ever. He turned to Daisy. "Why are they tied up?" he asked simply
"We found them in the girls' locker rooms. Being peeping toms, of course," Daisy explained gruffly, causing much protest and "no we weren't!" from the two students.
"And why, pray tell, were you in the locker room and not in class?" Roger asked, hands on hips and that huffy mother hen expression developing on his face.
"No need to pull the bitch face on us," Ralph grumbled. "We were just hiding from a teacher." Roger only raised an eyebrow at the very lousy answer.
"And why were you skipping in the skipping in the first place?"
"Umm…"
"Ah…"
"I'm waiting."
Uncomfortable squirming and silence. Roger was tapping his foot, looking like he really did not have enough coffee this morning for this.
"We'retryingtofindyouadateforprom!" Ralph suddenly burst out, cracking underneath the pressure and hysterics. If Roger could look any more pissed, he might've exploded.
"YOU WHAT?!" he screeched, making everyone in a four feet radius wince. "WHY THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU TRYING TO FIND ME A DATE?! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND?! WHAT POSSESSED YOU TO DO SOMETHING SO STUPID AND BEHIND MY BACK?!"
Ralph winced back from Roger's wrath. "We just want to help you…" he whimpered. "And make you happy. That's what friends do, right?"
Roger let out a heavy sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose and trying to control himself before he continued. "It was still stupid and I don't need a date. Jack, why are you here?" He turned his accusing glare onto the redhead, who had a mini panic attack at the vicious stare before stating: "Ralph dragged me into this, but he's right. We're just trying to help. You haven't had a girlfriend in years, since Karmen—" an all-around wince as they remembered how badly that already messed up relationship ended "—and we just wanted you not to be lonely for once."
Roger pursed his lips, but he didn't incinerate them from the flames of wrath that probably spewed from his eyes. "Let them go," he suddenly said to the athletic girls. "They didn't mean what they did. They were just being thoughtless Neanderthals." He shot them both a pointed glare as he emphasized the insult to get his point across. The boys stood up and immediately cower- I mean, stood behind Roger, rubbing their wrists.
"Let's go," Roger huffed, pushing the too ahead of him.
"Does this mean that Operate Match-make Roger is shut down?" Ralph asked, looking like someone had given him a puppy, and then took it away after he had fallen in love with it. But Roger's answer surprised them both.
"No. I'll let you play your silly games, but in the end, I get final say, understand?" Ralph cheered and hugged Roger tightly, who smacked him on the arm.
"You're the best, Roger!" Ralph cheered before heading to football practice. Jack just looked at his best friend with a small knowing smile.
"Why did you let him continue this?" he asked. Roger just gave him a weary, Ralph-trodden look.
"You know that if I did shut it down, Ralph will mope for weeks and I honestly do not have any more patience to deal with that child," Roger explained as they headed out to the parking lot, digging through his bag to find his ticket for the tube.
"I thought so. Orchestra giving you a hard time?"
"You have no idea. I mean, how hard is an E-flat major key?" Roger asked, waving his arms in frustration. Jack laughed and clapped the brunette on the shoulder.
"You'll do fine. So I'll see you tomorrow?" Jack asked as they approached the bus stop. He had rehearsal to go to.
"Yeah. And Jack?" The bus hissed to a stop and Jack paused before getting on. "Yes?"
"Find me a nice looking girl, at least. If I'm going to that foolish prom thing, I at least want something to stare at all night!" Roger called as he crossed the street. Jack laughed.
"Will do!" he called back and entered the bus.