A/N: Hello again. How are you going on this fine, if overcast, Saturday? I'm trying to pump out as many chapters as possible in the next few days, however, in my hate, I realize that I'm losing some of the descriptive quality. That's shame on me and a problem I will try to rectify. So, if it wasn't clear in the last chapter, Tony had to let go of the chopper because Tariq was closing the hanger doors and needed to be stopped. The doors would have closed before the chopper got to it, therefore trapping our heroes if Tony did not stop Tariq and reverse the doors. Not to mention there were lots of bad guys with lots of guns, making life a little more difficult.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy the coming chapters. As always, thank you for the reviews.

Ch 23 Haze

Ziva was roused by the sound of voices on the edge of her consciousness. There were two, and both seemed to be trying to keep quiet and both were failing. Slowly she tried to open her eyes, immediately shutting them as bright light filtered in. She blinked her eyes, letting them adjust to the light around her. If the light hadn't tipped her off, the whitewashed walls and the slow beeping of a machine let her know she was in a hospital. She looked to her left and saw McGee sitting on a chair, a legal pad on his knee, a pen in one hand and his chin rested in one hand. Ziva saw the bags under his eyes as well the light scruff around his jaw line. He must be exhausted, she thought.

"Tim," her voice came out as a croak, her throat dry from lack of water. Tim looked up and a brilliant smile erupted on his weary face, making him look like the winner of a marathon. He held up his finger to his lips, indicating that she should not talk and then pointed it out the hospital door. Ziva remembered the loud voices and nodded her head to say she understood. McGee filled a cup with water and helped her to drink it. She nodded her thanks and then shifted her attention to listening to the voices outside her door. Truthfully, it wasn't difficult.

The first voice was obviously Gibbs and Ziva could tell he was fuming. The second voice made her blood run cold with fear. It was that of Eli David and he was equally mad as Gibbs. Ziva glanced down at her hospital wrist band and saw the lettering was in Hebrew. They were in Israel.

"She is my daughter, Gibbs. My daughter! It is my right to enter that room! Not only is she my daughter, she if my officer! " shouted Eli.

"Daughter my ass David! You claim as your daughter and an officer, but in reality you only see her as your officer. You don't care about her, just the job and I am not about to let you go in there and bother her about the job." replied Gibbs, equally loud.

"Gibbs, you are a fool. She has been in the custody of terrorists; we need to determine what was told to her and what she might have told them. The sooner the better Gibbs." said Eli, completely abandoning his plea as a father.

"Eli, you sick bastard. You don't even care what kind of condition she's in. You haven't even asked. You sent her on a suicide mission with a rough agent and all you care about is damage control. No, Eli, no I'm not letting you in there." Gibbs voice radiated disgust with Eli. Ziva barely moved a muscle, listening to what her father would say.

"How dare you have the gall the accuse one of my most trusted officers of treason without proof? No, Hadar and Michael conversing is not proof. None! I have already told you, my officers answer to me. Ziva got herself into trouble. If she was caught, it had nothing to do with Hadar and everything to do with weakness acquired with your NCIS. Ziva has had questionable loyalty over the past five years Gibbs. Being as easily impressionable as she has proven to be, we need to make sure that she has incurred no...lasting damage from her experience." Ziva's heart panged with hurt at her father's accusation that she might be a traitor to Mossad and NCIS.

"Eli, she could have died! They would have killed her. Hadar would have killed her!" yelled Gibbs, disbelief shining through his voice.

"Then at least we would know no information was leaked! Now, let me see my daughter." Eli ground out. Ziva turned her head away from McGee so that he could not see the angry tears that had welled up in her eyes.

"Over my dead body." answered Gibbs, his voice considerably lowered and dangerous.

"Be careful Gibbs. You do not know how easily that could be arranged. You are in my country." Eli paused. "When she is well enough I expect her to present herself at Mossad. Even you cannot stop that." Ziva heard footsteps leading away from the door to her room and a knot in her chest came undone as she breathed a sigh of relief. McGee just patted her hand.

"Don't worry," he said, "your dad would have to through me too. If he wants to talk to you at least.'' Ziva smiled at McGee.

"Thank you Tim."

"You heard all that?" asked Gibbs, his voice gruff. He was in a fresh set of cloths, in typical Gibbs style.

"Yes," replied Ziva. She did her best to betray none of the emotions roiling around inside of her; the anger, the apprehension, the disappointment.

Gibbs just nodded and took a seat on the other side of the bed from McGee. He ran his hands through his hair taking a deep breath.

"How do you feel?" he asked. She tried to shrug her shoulders but found it hurt to do so.

"As well as I can expect I suppose." she replied, her voice neutral.

"Doctors said you where in a pretty bad shape. Two fingers broken, the other two severely fractured. Cracked ribs. A bullet wound to the right side and severe burns to your leg and several minor ones all over you. Not to mention the innumerable cuts and bruises and a broken nose. Doctors where surprises that you lasted so long in such a condition."

"You have Tony to thank for that Gibbs. I would be dead if not for him." Ziva looked up at Gibbs, a question in her eyes. Gibbs' face reflect only sadness.

"We all would be Ziva. Tony got us out." Gibbs voice was quiet but full of emotion.

"Gibbs, why did we not turn back for him?" Ziva knew that they'd left Tony behind. The sadness in Gibbs eyes told her that. She dreaded what Gibbs might say.

"He closed the doors to the hanger. We turned around, but we couldn't get back in." Ziva turned her head away from Gibbs. In the back of her mind, she noted that McGee had left. She began to fidget with the wrappings around her left hand. If only I had a gun to clean, she thought wistfully.

"Gibbs," she started, her voice quiet. Gibbs said nothing, waiting for what she had to say. "I...I owe you an apology. I made some very bad decisions that were not based on very much fact. I put my trust in people who I had no reason to trust and betrayed you and...and Tony." Ziva could no longer repress the tears that had filled her eyes. Despite the tears, she kept talking, her voice firm.

"I...I understand if I have lost your trust for good. It is my fault that Tony is...that Tony--" Ziva couldn't continue. Silently, Gibbs sat at the edge of her bed. Taking care for her injuries, Gibbs pulled her to him. He said nothing, letting her sob quietly into his shoulder, gently smoothing her hair back.

When her sobs slowed he began to speak.

"Ziva, you were manipulated and lied to. You were taken advantage of in an emotionally raw state and you were used. I'm sorry I let you go without much of a fight. Tony...Tony knew what he was doing." After a while, Ziva's tears slowed. Gibbs leaned her back some so she was resting on the pillows and stood to his feet. He gave her one of his famous smirks.

"You know, I was expecting you to come back. At one point or another, I knew you would. When you did come to your senses, I was planning on giving you one hell of a lecture on knowing who you could trust. I think you learned the lesson." Ziva gave him a feeble smile. Gibbs bent over and kissed the top of her head.

"McGee!" he barked, straightening himself. McGee appeared as if from seemingly nowhere. "You stay with Ziva. No one gets in the room. No one. I'm going to go get coffee." McGee nodded once and Gibbs strode out. Ziva was asleep in moments.

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Two Weeks later

Not for the first time, Ziva cursed her crutch. It prevented her from pacing as she would have liked. She and Gibbs were waiting in Eli David's reception area. They'd been there for over an hour. Ziva suspected that her father was punishing her and Gibbs.

She'd left the hospital the day before. Her bruises had, for the most part, faded. Her ribs were still sore and her bullet wound still had stitches. Her nose was slightly crooked, but otherwise healed. She could only use one crutch because her fingers were still on the mend and in a sling. McGee had subtly suggested a wheelchair, but Ziva ignored him. She would not face the Director of Mossad in a wheelchair.

"Are you sure you want to go in there alone?" asked Gibbs for the third time. He'd sent McGee home to start on the reports. Director Vance had left Israel as soon as the Navy ship was safe. Gibbs and Ziva were alone and both were anxious to leave. Ziva hadn't even entertained the thought of staying in Israel, not with her father so mad.

Finally, her father's receptionist came allowed her to enter her father's office. Ziva looked at Gibbs.

"Just be ready to leave when I am done." she said. Gibbs smirked and nodded.

In very much the same fashion as a few months ago, Eli was not looking at Ziva, but working on something in front of him. After a few moments, he looked up and smiled. Ziva found felt none of the comfort that that smile used to elicit as a small child. She felt nothing but cold.

"Ziva. It is good to see you on your feet again." Ziva kept the sarcastic remark the sprang to her mind locked inside.

"Thank you, Director." She looked at him and stood as an officer might. She would not treat him as her father if he would not treat her as his daughter.

"I expect a full report of your mission in two days time." He said, looking down at his papers again.

"You may receive it a while after that. I do not know if international mail can get it to you by then." Eli paused in whatever he was writing. Still, he did not look up as he spoke.

"Are you traveling Ziva?" Before she could answer, he continued, "Well, maybe a break would be good for you. I will give you one week. I will have some assignments waiting for you when you return."

"No, Director." Ziva's voice was strong and clear. She as not willing to back down, not for him. Now Director David looked up. He had a curious and confused expression on his face. His left eye twitched slightly as he pulled of his glasses.

"Ziva, what are you talking about?" His question barely contained his frustration with her.

"I am leaving Israel today and I will not be returning. To Mossad or to you." Ziva looked him in the eye, her jaw set.

"Ziva, you must be joking. You belong here. Your family is here."

"No. My family is dead. Tali, Ari, Michael: they are all gone. Hadar has betrayed me.. And one way or another, their deaths have been your fault." Ziva spat, unable to keep her anger in.

"Ziva, do not be foolish. We are Mossad. Your American friends would say it comes with the territory. We expect losses. Death happens. But we put that behind us for the sake of our purpose!" David slapped his hand on the table as he stood. Ziva tried her best to conceal a flinch, but continued regardless.

"And for our purpose, you will harbor a traitor?! I know that you believe Hadar to be blameless. I will not hang around in wait for him to kill me." replied Ziva, her voice getting a fraction louder.

Eli shook his head. "Ziva, you are traumatized. I understand. Give yourself time to readjust."

"I have taken all time I can afford." Ziva pulled her Mossad badge from her pocket and tossed it onto her father's desk. Eli's eyes grew angry, his face stony.

"Consider this my resignation form Mossad, Director David." Ziva turned and made her way out of the room. She only paused when her father spoke, his voice quiet and deadly.

"Consider this your warning:If you contact anyone, if you buy a plane ticket, if you so much as think about Israel, I promise it will be the last thing you ever do." Ziva turned to look at her father, her face solemn.

"Shalom, Abba."

Gibbs stood and opened the door to exit David's office. As Ziva passed him, Gibbs whispered in her ear, "Just let him try to send someone after you." Ziva in turn smirked and hobbled out of the office.

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Three weeks later

Abby was head banging to a tune in her head as she entered her dark lab, singing softly under her breath. It was storming out side and had been a very long day; most everyone else in the building had left. As was common, she'd been working on evidence and analysis for team Gibbs. After two long weeks, Gibbs, McGee and a temporary agent whose name Abby had not bothered to learn, had finally caught the scumbag who was stealing Navy weapons and supplying DC street gangs with them. The guy was smart and covered his tracks well. What finally did him was that after McGee and Gibbs had caught up to him and he was trying to get away by car, he hit a raised manhole hard enough to blow a tire completely off his vehicle. Catching him proved to be child's play after that.

Yawning, Abby grabbed her coat and threw out her last Caw -Pow when she heard soft music, coming from her office. Confused and a tad scared she walked toward the office. Her sliding door gave a modest swoosh as she approached and gazed inside. The music was a little louder, but not by much.

Looking into the corner of the lab, Abby saw the disturbance. Ziva was in the corner on Abby's futon, her back against the wall, her knees drawn up to her chest. Abby was about to say something when lightning flashed, revealing Ziva's tear streaked face. Immediately, Abby's heart softened.

Abby had been somewhat short with Ziva when Ziva got home. It was obvious that the forensic scientist was happy that Ziva was home and relatively safe, but Tony's absence took quite a toll on Abby's happiness. She'd never out right said anything to Ziva about it, but she'd kept her distance. It would seem that Ziva's presence just reminded Abby of Tony's loss, making it hard for Abby to be her normal jubilant self around Ziva.

"Ziva?" Abby's voice was soft, but it felt thunderously loud in quiet room. "You alright?" At first Ziva didn't respond. Slowly Abby made her way to the futon, planting herself next to Ziva. Finally Ziva spoke.

"I came in to see Director Vance today. I start back at NCIS next week." Abby glanced at the floor and in the light of the lightning saw on the ground a leather wallet-like case. She reached forward and picked it up. It was an identification card as well as a new NCIS badge. It read Special Agent Ziva David.

"But Ziva, this is a good thing isn't it?" Abby asked, slightly confused by Ziva's current mood. Ziva began to fiddle with the bandaging around her fingers. Though she was starting at NCIS the next week, she would remain on desk duty until her fingers had completely healed.

"It was supposed to be a good thing Abby. It should be. But, when does Vance let anything be good?" Instantly, Ziva's mind filled with the images from her meeting with Vance.

"Let me make this clear, David," said Vance, staring Ziva straight in the eye. She could have sworn he learned that stare from her father. "I do not like what happened in Israel or Somalia. You getting captured by terrorists wasn't what I had in mind when I asked you to keep your eyes and ears open for anything of interest. Losing an agent in Somalia was not what I had in mind when I asked you to keep your eyes and your ears open for anything of interest."

"With all due respect Director, I did not ask Tony to do what he did. You of all people know that DiNozzo could never really be told what to do." Ziva replied, keeping the anger she felt out of her voice. She couldn't let Vance see her so upset.

"Regardless of what I felt about DiNozzo, his loss is noted. I hold your lack of judgment partially responsible for what happened." Ziva looked up at Vance sharply, her eyes flashing with anger.

How dare he?1, she thought angrily. He as the one that asked me to spy on Mossad. He was the one who convinced my that Michael was not all he appeared to be. I was acting under his orders! She though vehemently. For all her malice towards Vance, however, she kept her mouth shut, letting her eyes convey what she truly felt. Vance continued as though he didn't notice.

"Regardless, David, I am a man of my word. You discovered a rouge agent in Mossad, exposed the corruption with in. You've shown just how far your father will go to retain whatever power or influence he thinks he has. As promised, United States citizenship and a job here at NCIS." Vance pushed a bundle of documents across the table, atop of which rested the new badge and id.

"You start back on Gibbs' team next week." Vance turned his attention to paperwork on his desk. Ziva took that as her cue to leave.

"What did he say?" asked Abby, bringing Ziva back to the present time. She let out a jagged sigh before continuing.

"Now that I have given it some thought, the truth," replied Ziva. Thunder boomed overhead, accompanied by the mournful sound of the wind blowing against the trees, creating a sound like waves crashing on the ocean.

"What do you mean?" Asked Abby. She asked her questions carefully. Abby was not used to seeing much emotion from Ziva, and the sight of Ziva crying astounded her to end. She didn't want to ask the wrong question and have the stoic assassin pull up her walls of metaphorical defense.

"Tell me truthfully Abby, do you think I killed Tony?" Ziva's voice was quiet and serious. It carried no accusation, but demanded an honest answer. Abby took a deep breath before answering.

"No, Ziva. I don't think you killed him. But I won't lie: I miss him like crazy. And well...I can't look at you without thinking of him. But Ziva, you didn't kill him." Ziva took another ragged breath.

"How are you so sure, Abby? If I ...I had not been so blinded by my own stupid arrogance, I would have seen that Tony only meant to help. Instead, I accused him. I turned my back on him and Gibbs. Abby, I should have done something. He came to save me and I let him go. Abby, I was holding his hand. I..I should have tried harder, I should not have let go." Ziva was crying freely at this point. Abby wrapped her arm around Ziva's shoulders. The storm raged on overhead. Taking a glance outside, Abby saw that the rain was coming down in sheets, completely hindering visibility. Looks I'm not leaving anytime soon, she thought. She knew her hearse might not hold to the road very well. Standing to her feet, Abby went behind her desk and opened a drawer, extracting a pot, a tea bag and sugar. From refrigerator in the lab, she grabbed a carton of milk. She filled the pot with water and set it to boil on a portable stove. After a few minutes, the water was boiling. A few more minutes later, Abby was bringing a cup of steaming tea to Ziva. Ziva took the cup and looked up at Abby, a question in her eyes.

"I don't drink it. But, you hang out with Ducky long enough, you pick up a few tips on making people feel better." Ziva smiled up at Abby, who sat next to Ziva again. Ziva quietly drank her tea, the warm liquid calming her down.

"I wanted so badly to stay here Abby. But I was so confused. And then Vance offered me a security sheet, someplace to come back to if things in Israel fell apart. I should have known they would have. I wanted so badly to come back and be a Special Agent, to get away from Mossad's deception. I just did not know that the price to be paid was Tony's life. If I had known...I would have acted differently. I do not how, but I would have acted differently." Abby gave Ziva a pat on the back.

"Ziva, first of all, it's a security blanket, not sheet. And second...well, it's not like you could have known the future! When Jenny died, you told Tony that it wasn't his fault. It's the same thing here! It wasn't your fault. If anything it was Vance and your dad's fault, no offense."

"Oh, rest assured, there is none taken. I know who the puppeteers were. I just wish that I could have avoided being their puppet." Abby gave Ziva another one armed hug.

"don't worry Ziva. Things will get better. You're here and your safe." Yes, but for how long, with Hadar after my blood. Thought Ziva bitterly. She did not speak the words. Abby did not know that Hadar was out there and Ziva did not truly know that he would come after her; but, Hadar was prideful and had all of Mossad and his terrorist cell backing him. He would see her escape as a personal insult to his pride and seek to redeem himself, if only in his eyes. He could easily finish the job he started without anyone coming after him. Anyone but Gibbs at least.

Ziva took a deep breath and turned to look at Abby with a crooked smile. Abby was shocked to see the change in the woman's face; it wasn't just the scars of the slightly crooked nose. It was the change in her eyes; they were sadder, carrying the weight of wisdom and a lesson hard learned. Still, the smile she gave Abby was genuine.

"Thank you Abby. This means a lot to me." said Ziva. Abby responded by seizing Ziva in a tight hug.

"Abby, tea!," exclaimed Ziva, laughing. Abby soon joined in. The laughter lasted for longer than might have been necessary, but both women welcomed the relief from the tense gloom that had befallen them.

A/N: First of all, let me say, I personally don't like a mopey Ziva. But I figure, someone who has just been tortured and lost someone they love needs some time to vent and come to grips. This chapter is the "Come to Grips" chapter. I hope you liked it. If not, that's cool, there are more chapters to come. As always reviews are welcome.

I saw Judgment Day part 2 today. I'm a die hard NCIS fan, but I chose not to watch this episode b/c I knew that the team gets split up at the end. But, my mom was watching and I couldn't resist the urge. I will say, a lot more things make sense now and my dislike for Director Vance has greatly increased. I already didn't like him, but the thing with him shredding a paper from his file...sneaky sneaky. I hope he gets his butt kicked come this Season 7.

Just as a side note, if you actually read this and are praying person, please pray for me. I'm sick and I don't want it to be anything beyond a common cold.