No Love

4-No Love For Roy

---

I'm a lucky guy, and I don't bullshit myself about it either. I know that chances were about one in a million I would actually find somebody who could manage to put up with me. Marth, he was a real find, I think I would have driven anybody else away a long time ago. Actually, sometimes I wonder how I haven't driven him away yet. God knows I've done enough to make him want to just pack up and go. But then at the end of the day, after all the shit I put him through, he just smiles at me. Just smiles, and its like he doesn't even have to say I'm forgiven, I just know I am. It's not fair, it really isn't, and that's why I love him so much.

---

The two sat in a booth towards the back of the bar, underneath a poster of two palm tree's with a hammock stretched in between the them. At the bottom it simply said- 'Corona, miles away from ordinary. Ike had insisted that he and Pit sit in the back where as few people as possible could see them together. He wasn't comfortable with the idea of being in a gay bar, not in the slightest, and he wasn't comfortable with the stares that he and his partner were getting either. I can only imagine what they're thinking.

The waiter came over and, after drooling over each of them sufficiently, asked to take their drink order. It was now Ike decided to give his company a mandatory once over.

He was a very young, very attractive kid with chocolate brown hair, a round face, and striking blue eyes. The clothes had been what first caught Ike's attention however, the boy was wearing a pair of baggy black pants with all manner of belts, chains, and zippers attached to them. In addition to that he wore bulky white leather high tops and a purple t-shirt with the word 'UKE' printed across the front . On his left wrist was a brown leather cuff which perfectly matched the brown leather collar around the boys neck. Y'know what Ike, just bite your tongue. Just bite down hard and don't make fun of the poor kid.

Finally the drinks arrived, a kamikaze for Ike and the young brunette had ordered a mojito. As Ike stared at his drink, wondering if he should savor it or just down it fast, he glanced at the boy who was sipping his own drink. Remarkably he seemed to have calmed down significantly in the past few minutes, he wasn't anxious at all anymore. Ike on the other hand, well, his stomach was doing back flips and he felt incredibly guilty for some reason.

"Pit, how did you even get that drink? He must've known you were underage." The boy looked up at the bluenette innocently.

"Well, all of the servers here already know me. They know I'm allowed to drink in here."

"And why is it that you're allowed to drink in here?" The bluenette asked, already very confused.

"Because my aunt owns the bar." He said flatly. Ike nearly fell out of his chair.

"You're aunt owns a gay bar!? Your aunt! Are you serious!?"

"Well yeah. This is where I first met Link, actually." He's the devil. Ike thought to himself. Link is just flat out the spawn of Satan, I knew it.

"Listen Pit, I have something to tell you, about Link actually. Something you're going to really not want to hear." Ike hadn't had this hard of a time breaking the news to somebody in a while. It didn't help that this was quickly becoming the most stressful day of his life. And then there was the fact that because Pit was technically not his client, he should not be telling the boy anything he was about to.

"Um, okay." Pit suddenly felt worried, he didn't like the crazy serious vibe he was getting from the large man in front of him.

"Link is, well, this is hard to say. I'm pretty sure that…I'm investigating whether Link is cheating on you or not." There was a long, painful silence, which was eventually broken by Pit's nervous laughter.

"Well, so wait, investigating for who?" The small brunette asked, unable to keep his voice level.

"I can't say. To be frank, I shouldn't even be telling you any of what I am. This is a special circumstance however." The boy looked up at him, Ike could see the confusion in his eyes, the fear. The bluenette felt horrible, worse than he had felt all day.

"So who do you think he's cheating on me with?" Pit asked weakly, his voice cracking.

" His name is Soren. You've probably never-"

"I know Soren! Link is at his house right now!" Ike reeled visibly at the comment. So Soren did know about Pit! That son of a bitch!

"Yeah, well, I think that he might be there for…well, you know." He quickly skirted the issue.

"But, no, that's not…Link and Soren are just friends. They can't be…" The brunette trailed off. Sniffling the boy quickly swiped at his left eye, feeling tears beginning to well up. Ike decided to try and soften the blow for the boy, despite how certain he was.

"Listen, Pit, try not to get too worked up. This could all just be a misunderstanding. I actually… I need your help." He didn't believe a word that he was saying, but he needed to say something or else the boy would break out into hysterics.

"Help? With what?" The boy said still sniffling and on the verge of tears.

"Well…I…need to." Ike tried to think of something. " I need permission to bug your apartment." Ike said, he doubted he would get any evidence at all from bugs planted in Link's apartment but it was worth a shot. Plus at the moment, he just wanted to say anything to get Pit out of the bar and to keep him under control.

---

Sitting at a table near Ike, but behind him, the man in the pinstriped fedora was having an impossible time hearing anything that the two were saying over the crowd. Silently he sat and sipped a club soda, continuing to eye the two out of the corner of his eye.

---

Both Ike and Pit were now out on the sidewalk, headed towards Links apartment which was surprisingly close to Ike's office. The young boy had consumed about four mohito's in the thirty minutes between when Ike had broken the news to him, and now. It was probably because of the boys relatively small size, but it was obvious to Ike that the kid could not hold his liquor. The tall bluenette ended up piggybacking the brunette all of the way back to the apartment.

"I don't believe you." The boy mumbled into Ike's back, barely audible as they descended the flights of stairs leading up to the second floor.

"Pit, I didn't say I knew for certain, I was just presenting you with my finding." Ike had decided not to even touch his Kamikaze, and was glad he hadn't. He needed to be sober right now, and he needed to think.

"I don't care, Link wouldn't do that. You don't know him, he's not like that." Pit continued, still talking under his breath into Ike's tan coat.

---

Opening the door to the apartment Ike walked in and set the boy down on his feet. The brunette proceeded to gracefully crash himself into a love seat as soon as Ike released him. Afterwards he proceeded to lie where he'd landed, his face buried into the cushion and both his knees on the hardwood floor. His rear was sticking straight up in the air as he breathed quietly into the green couch cushion. Ike tried his best to ignore the boys positioning and reached into breast pocket. He fished around feeling a ballpoint pen, a pack of gum, and a penny, his fingers finally brushed a small rectangle. Fishing it out of the pocket he stared at the small black plastic rectangle. It was listening device, not a fancy one, but a pretty good one. After rummaging through the shelves in the kitchen of the apartment Ike finally found some 3M brand scotch tape.

This is gonna be the shittiest bug planting of my life, but here goes. He walked into the bedroom and looked immediately to the picture on the bedside table. It was one of Link and Pit, they appeared to be in the woods sitting in front of a campfire. The larger blonde had the small boy completely wrapped in a hug from behind. The boy was smiling up at him and appeared to be laughing in the shot. It made Ike sick to his stomach.

Taking the tape he stuck the bug to the back of the picture and then angled it around on the table so that the bug was no longer visible. Feeling along the smooth sides of the bug, he finally found the grey dial that controlled the mic's sensitivity. With his index finger the turned the dial until the bug was at about medium volume.

As he went to leave Ike turned to the boy still facedown on the couch with his ass up in the air.

"Pit I planted the bug for you. Its behind the picture on the bedside table." There was nothing but silence from the small brunette.

"Pit, I'm sorry. Just… feel better I guess."

"You're wrong." The boy mumbled. Ike couldn't tell if he was asleep or not.

---

The man in the black pea coat watched the bluenette walk out of the apartment and descend the staircase, the stranger carefully tilted the pinstripe fedora down, covering his face. As the bluenette neared the final step on the stairs the stranger heard him mumble under his breath "that should satisfy him." Watching Ike walk off down the parking lot the stranger was already going through his contacts list. Finally the name Marth was highlighted by the black cursor. The man hit the green 'accept' button and after four rings he was connected with Marth.

"Roy, where in the hell are you? I said I was making dinner, then I come out of the kitchen a minute later and you're just gone! What the hell!?" The man removed his fedora revealing a head of bright red hair. Shaking his hair out, Roy glanced down the sidewalk to make sure that Ike was completely out of sight.

"Sorry Marth, just had to tie up some loose ends."

"Yeah? Well give me one good reason I shouldn't just chuck the leftovers I put in the fridge for you!" Marth fumed into the phone.

"Well, you remember that detective guy?" Roy asked gingerly, aware of how thin the ice he was on was.

"Oh, and why in god's name did you take my pea coat!? I swear to god if you lose that coat!"

"Marth, don't do this now, Please! Focus, detective, we hired him today." Roy said into the phone, pleading with his lover.

"Yeah, the dumb ass right."

" Right. Well we've got problems Marth! We've got real fucking problems!"

"Like what Roy?" Suddenly Marth wasn't mad anymore. Suddenly Marth was very, very worried.

"Like that the detective is sleeping with Pit, Marth!"

"No god damn way."

"Yes god damn way!" Roy yelled into the phone. "I heard it myself, the detective said, quote 'that should satisfy him' after he left the apartment. The apartment, I'd like to point out that he piggybacked Pit to completely smashed." Marth tried to interject, but was cut off before he got a word out.

"But it gets even better, guess where Pit got completely smashed!? Ike and Pit were at a fucking gay bar together! How about them fucking apples Marth!" There was long silence on the other end of the phone.

"Oh dear! What are the odds?" Marth asked into the phone.

---

Ike woke up to a loud knocking at his office door, squinting he looked up and tried to figure out where he was. Suddenly he became aware of the fact that the sleeping bag he was in was coiling around him and he'd become tangled. In a fit of claustrophobia he kicked and squirmed until the bag was off of him.

"Um, hello? Mr.- damn it, I meant Ike, are you there? Is the office closed today?" Ike scowled immediately.

Soren…

Now fully awake, Ike stood up and stomped his way over to the door. Throwing the wooden door open he tried his hardest to look pleasant, but between his grogginess and his anger, he was sure he wasn't doing very good.

"Hey Soren." He said yawning. The raven haired boy's face immediately went beet red. It probably had something to do with the fact that Ike had answered the door in nothing but his boxers.

"I, um, yeah. Hi Ike." Soren stammered awkwardly, trying his hardest to maintain eye contact.

"Yeah, sorry about the whole 'no clothes' thing. I'm just going to head into the bathroom. I guess I'll be out in a minute, or whatever." Ike immediately caught Soren glancing down, back up at his eyes, then back down again. He's not checking me out is he? Is he?

"Take your time." Soren mumbled, clearly distracted. Once again Ike noticed that Soren's eyes seemed to be taking in everything below his shoulders. Suddenly he felt self conscious, not embarrassed just…

Does he like what he's seeing?

Ike was caught so completely off guard by his own question. Now his face was the one turning red.

"So I'll just be a minute then." Before the raven haired boy could respond Ike had practically run to the bathroom. Now standing in the small bathroom of his office Ike stared at himself in the mirror.

Okay, what the hell!? What was that? Why should I even care what Soren thinks? He's an asshole, a jerk. He doesn't care who he hurts, he's just a whore.

But Ike didn't buy it, not one word he said could convince himself it was true. Could Soren really be like that? He didn't think so.

He's to nice. He's so gentle and kind. Besides, I think I love him. That last part hit Ike like a ton of bricks, because it was true, he did think he loved Soren. You can't love Soren dude, he's a…well, he is a dude! This is messed up, this is so messed up! You can't be, I mean, I am not gay! All those girlfriends, I mean c'mon, there's no way!

Now Ike really wasn't believing himself. Turning the faucet on he splashed his face with cold water and tried to clear his mind. You are not gay, you do not love Soren. Soren is a bad, bad guy. You're high, or drunk, or crazy, because you are not making any sense right now! His hands, now shaking, started to splash the water onto his unruly blue locks, which were sticking up every which way.

Well why not? Why couldn't I be gay, or at the very least bisexual? Would that really be so crazy? As for Soren, who knows? I could have it all wrong. He ran his fingers through his wet hair. Now that sounds like grade A bullshit if I ever heard it. But then why does it sound so rational to me!? He reached for the towel hanging from the magazine rack on the wall across from the toilet.

Frantically he started to rub his hair and face dry. Alright enough of this, no more of this bullshit! I'll settle it, I'll settle it right now! Reaching into the cabinet beneath the sink Ike started to search the pockets of the overcoat he had been wearing when he came home last night. Finally he fished out what he was looking for, the penny.

"Okay, here goes. Heads, your gayer than disco. Tails, you're straight, and you'll give this whole thing a rest." He went to toss the coin in the air, but hesitated. Drawing in a deep breath he finally tossed the coin. Closing his eyes, he winced, waiting to hear the sound of the coin hitting the tiles on the bathroom floor. Instead he heard the soft plunk of a small piece of copper breaking the surface tension of the water in the toilet bowl.

"Shit! God damn it!" He yelled running over to the toilet, as he leaned over the bowl to see how the coin had landed he accidentally leaned on the flush lever. With a look of pure disbelief he watched as the bright piece of copper was lost down the drain of the spotless porcelain toilet. I think that god may be trying to tell you something Ike. That did it, he needed a walk. He just needed some fresh air to think and clear his mind.

Reaching into the cabinet beneath the sink he pushed aside the jacket and the other clothes he was storing down there. Finally he found a pair of jeans he had only worn once in the past few days and a pink linen shirt he hadn't worn in about a week. Putting both on he sprayed himself with axe and flung open the door to the bathroom.

"Alright Soren I need to head out for something." He said jogging for the door and trying his hardest to avoid eye contact with the boy.

"Oh, okay then. Should I just stay here and-"

"Yes, yeah, good idea! You should definitely, definitely stay here. Then I'll go and you'll stay here, and you'll be here at the office-"

"In case anybody drops by?" Soren finished Ike's sentence, cocking his eyebrow in confusion. Ike sure seemed flustered.

"Absolutely, you read my mind. You sure are smart, which is why I hired you- Have you seen my jacket?" Ike said in an increasingly nervous tone as he struggled with the lock on the door. After a few moments of struggle he realized that the door was not only unlocked, but that he had unlocked it himself only minutes ago.

"Ike its actually really warm out today, for fall I mean. Its like sixty degrees." Soren said, unsure of what to make of the bluenette's uncharacteristic behavior.

"Oh, right… I'll just go then."

"Well alright. See you later sexy." Soren said in a clearly joking tone, trying his best to follow Link's advice. The room went silent for what felt like an eternity to both.

"Right, yeah. I'm gonna go. I have to be at the thing and buy some places and… buy shit- I'll see you later!" With that Ike ran out the door and down the hall, not bothering to close the door behind him.

Soren stood next to the desk unsure and embarrassed. He's not gay, not at all, and now he thinks I'm a creep. I must look so stupid right now. Feeling completely defeated the raven haired boy sighed sunk into the chair behind the desk resting his face in his hands.

---

As Ike sped down the stairs, taking them three at a time, he missed Roy and his lover walking down the hallway coming from the front entrance. Without giving a single glance down the hall Ike hurriedly walked through the back door to give some serious thought to his little 'situation'.

---

As Marth prepared to knock on the door to Ike's office, he turned to Roy suddenly having a very bad feeling.

"Are you sure of what you saw Roy?" He looked at his lover uncertain.

"Yeah, as sure as I was about the Soren thing. It's ironclad lovely, I'm telling you."

"Alright. I don't know though, I just have a really bad feeling that we shouldn't be doing this."

"What confronting the detective, are you kidding! We have to figure out what the hell this guy's problem is, and fast! This whole thing is completely out of control!" You fumed at Marth.

"No I mean like, I just have a bad feeling, like we've forgotten something or something." Marth said, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Well you know what, forget you! I'm going in there, and I'm telling him exactly what I think of him!" Roy opened the door and stormed in.

"Ike you slippery son of a-"

"Hi Roy!" Soren said, sorting the piles of dockets and files that had been on top of the filing cabinets into alphabetical order. Again? Really!? Can I not catch a break!?! Roy cursed to himself, incredulous to the fact that once again he was stuck in this same position.

"Oh, yeah, um… hey Soren!" He said, trying to play off his entrance. Soren suddenly rose from the floor and carried a large pile of documents with him.

"Ugh, excuse me, I just don't think I can sit on the ground anymore. So uncomfortable. Its sort of funny how we keep on meeting by chance like this, though." Soren said cheerily.

"Yeah, it sure is strange, huh?" Roy covered. Wow, Soren sure is clueless. Thank god.

"So Roy is your squeeze here with you or…" Soren asked looking around the room. Marth was about to slink down the hallway when he heard Roy call him out.

"Yep. He sure is, aren't you Marth?" Roy said looking directly at the door.

"Hi Soren." Marth mumbled walking into the office. Now standing over the desk Soren started to open up the files and flip through them, looking for loose papers that might fall out. As he looked over the file, he pushed up the rims of his wire framed glasses. Normally he'd have worn contacts, but he thought glasses suited him better. He'd been slightly disappointed Ike hadn't said anything, actually. As Soren flipped through the last few pages inside of a red docket, Roy slowly came up behind the raven head and tried to sneak a peek.

"Um, Roy you can't be reading these, they're Ike's files. They're classified." Soren said, closing the folder and pushing up the glasses that were sliding down his nose again.

"Well then why are you allowed to read it, Soren?" Marth asked, suddenly wondering what exactly Soren was doing in Ike's office.

"I work here, actually. Ike hired me just yesterday. Remember, I told you guys at the café." Oh right, he did say that didn't he, how could you forget that Marth, you blockhead, the blunette thought to himself.

"Speaking of which what are you guys doing here?" Soren asked halfheartedly, now flipping through the contents of an olive folder.

"Oh, you know Soren, we're just here to visit our good pal Ike." Roy immediately knew that he had said something he shouldn't have. Marth instantly shot him a glare that confirmed his suspicions.

"What do you mean 'good friend' Roy? I thought that you guys just met Ike yesterday?" Both the bluenette and the redhead's blood froze.

"Well y'see when we said that we were just, I mean, we did just meet him yesterday. But we felt like we had a connection, just a real, real deep connection." Marth lied, improvising as he went along.

"Oh it was deep, just so deep! It was deep and me and Marth loved it. So we just decided y'know- that was deep, we both liked it, lets head on over and get some more!" Roy continued, trying to help bail Marth out. Soren gaze darted between the two, clearly in awe.

"Are you guys talking about sex?" Soren asked, clearly lost.

"Sex? Sex!? No Soren get your mind out of the gutter, jeez." Marth said forcing a laugh.

Just as he finished brushing off the red eyed boy he glanced down into the pile of files Soren was going through and saw something that almost made him faint. Sitting at the top of the pile was a tan manila folder, the same folder that Marth and Roy had given to Ike just the other day. Distinctly pock marked with gashes on the bottom corners where Roy had taken a staple remover to it.

"Well, okay, I guess." Soren said skeptically. Uneasily he returned to looking through the olive folder.

Behind The raven haired boys back Marth frantically mouthed to Roy what he had discovered.

" That's our folder!" He mouthed pointing to the folder on top of the pile. Roy's eyes went wide as saucers.

"What the hell do we do!?!" Roy mouthed frantically, making all sorts of had gestures that meant nothing. Marth shrugged his shoulders and spastically started to scan the room for something, anything, that might help. Suddenly he spotted a stapler on top of filing cabinet. On the fly Marth came up with what could be the worst idea he had ever had in his life.

"One second." Marth mouthed as he slowly worked his way over to the stapler. Roy looked at him puzzled and threw up his arms in confusion as he watched Marth Pick up the stapler.

"Oh my god look out Soren!!!" Marth screamed suddenly, chucking the stapler as hard as he could in Soren's direction. Sorry asshole, but we can't risk you finding out yet. As Marth watched the stapler fly through the air in what looked like slow motion to him, he started to get another bad feeling. He wondered if he had perhaps overreacted.

In what was an almost superhuman display of reflex and motor skills Soren instantly ducked, dropping the olive folder and spilling it's contents. The trajectory of the stapler immediately changed from a collision course with Soren's head to a collision course with Roy, who was unfortunately not as fast as Soren.

The stapler connected perfectly with Roy's forehead just above the eyebrow, as soon as it hit Marth heard a crack that made shudder. As Roy recoiled backwards he hit his head against the wall behind him, instantly going slack, he slumped against the wall and slowly slid to the floor. Sitting up against the wall, Roy's head sat limply on his shoulders, focused downward.

Marth saw the blood running down from beneath his lovers red bangs and dripping onto the floor. All Soren could do was stare at the lifeless boy, his hands cupped over his mouth in shock.

"Oh god, Roy!!" Marth yelled running to his lover, before he could even touch his the boy to make sure he was okay he saw the red head stir slightly.

"Marth…" The redhead said, his voice barely audible.

"Yeah Roy, I'm here. Thank god you're alive!" The bluenette exclaimed, relieved he hadn't accidentally killed his lover.

"WHAT IN THE FUCKING FUCK!!!" Roy screamed, jerking his head up so suddenly that Marth jumped.

No Love For Roy, End