Title: anime logic
Summary: There is a good reason why Black Star is stripping Kid in public...no really!
Pairing: StarKid
Author: Pippin's Socks
Length: 1,319
Comments: So. Much. Fun.

Kid knew he was in for a bad day, he just knew it and the world clearly hated him as it was – what, with his asymmetrical hair and dysfunctional family but today really took the bakery.

There he was, minding his own perfectly symmetrical glory in the lunch hall of Shibusen, when out of the blue Black Star sat down opposite him…

After a few awkward seconds of silence, in which Black Star somehow managed to stay perfectly noiseless, Kid cleared his throat.

"Are you…lost?" he muttered, "I'm sure the people who actually like you are sat over there…" he gestured to the other tables with his spoon; the ninja didn't so much as twitch.

Kid began to wonder if the boy was even breathing anymore…

He took a risk and prodded the other boy, who slapped his hand away and instantly resumed his one way staring contest with what appeared to be Kid's jacket…

"You are starting to annoy me Black Star…" Kid ground out, preparing to stand up and move if the idiot didn't tell him what was going through that thick head of his.

"Where…"

"What?"

"Where does it…go?" the assassin muttered, a look of pure unhealthy frustration and mild fascination adorning his features.

"Where does what go?" Kid mumbled, not really liking the unfamiliar, calculating look in his fri- acquaintances eyes. He decided to grab a fork…just in case.

"It's just not right! How can you have a greater secret than I?!" Black Star suddenly erupted, making Kid jolt in surprise and the rest of the cantina pull out their protective helmets.

"I don't know what you're talking about!" the poor Shinigami hissed, "Please sit down people are staring!"

"It's in your sleeve isn't it…" the tanned boy muttered darkly, rubbing his chin and nodding in agreement with himself, suddenly exploding with victorious laughter, Kid regretted existing...for the fifth time that day and it was only lunchtime "Death the Kid!" black star announced dramatically, "Take off your clothes!"

"…WHAT?!" Kid's jaw was on the floor, swimming amongst the remains of his internal organs that he'd just hacked up.

The rest of the school all simultaneously spat out what they were drinking.

"You heard me! Take 'em off!" Kid's left eye began twitching, the odd brave soul pulled out a camera to video the moment…

"Are you…insane?!" the newly recovered Shinigami managed to wheeze, Black Star for once looking deadly serious.

"You won't do it? Fine! I will!"

"Don't you dare!" Kid yelped attempting to leap away from the table only to get tackled to the ground by the enthusiastic other boy, "get your hands off my shirt Black Star!"

Stein, who had absentmindedly been walking down the corridors, musing over the idea of buying a turkey sandwich, ground to a halt outside the lunch hall, spun on his heel and determinedly marched in the other direction.

He was not going to be the one to tell Shinigami-sama that's for sure…

"Damn Kid why do you have so many layers on?" Black Star grumbled, trying and failing to remove the other boy's jacket but the flailing Shinigami was making it surprisingly difficult.

"Shouldn't we help him?" Tsubaki muttered weakly, watching as Kid managed to scramble free for a grand total of 3 seconds before the assassin was upon him once more.

"Are you kidding?" Soul muttered "this is the coolest thing to happen all year!" Maka despairingly slapped a hand to her forehead, only to jerk back up again at the sound of ripping fabric.

Kid had somehow managed to loose his shoes and was currently stood on top of one of the disposal units, one of his sleeves missing entirely…one and only one.

"Oh dear…" Liz muttered, Kid let out an extraordinary shriek, unable to correct the atrocity Black Star afflicted on his clothing he merely ditched the jacket completely. Black Star looked confused.

"So it's not in the jacket huh…" he muttered, trade mark grin soon adorning the majority of his face once more, "No worries! I, the great Black Star, will solve this mystery!"

"What mystery!" Kid almost sobbed, "Hasn't my sanity suffered enough?" the poor boy went on, nearly in tears at this point.

"Take off your trousers Kid!" Black Star bellowed, ignoring the rest of what felt like the entire world, several females in the audience fainted from blood loss.

"NO!" Kid roared in response, making a flying squirrel leap as the other boy attempted to grab his ankles, "why don't you take off your clothes and let everyone stare at you!" seethed the young Shinigami. He would need millenniums of therapy after this…

Having miscalculated the distance between the disposal unit and the row of tables, Kid found himself tumbling to the floor, not even noticing the spatters of dirt steadily forming on his shirt, all to focused on running for his life.

Black Star was there in the blink of an eye, making a wild grab at the other boy, managing in only sending them both to the floor, Black Star straddling Kid – hands trying to restrain the squirming Shinigami.

"What's going on here!?" Sid barked the assembled – not to mention fascinated – students all jerked back to reality, "you know the rules! No fighting without a supervisor!"

A flash of panic crossed both boys' features; they couldn't get in trouble…again. They'd be screwed royally if they lost what souls they had managed to gather…

"We weren't fighting!" Black Star blurted out, Sid raised a disbelieving eyebrow "I was erm…proclaiming my great and powerful love for Kid!" the silence following the statement was deafening.

"…what?" Sid muttered in shock.

"What?!" hissed the extremely murderous Shinigami he was currently sat on.

"Yep! That's right! I'm a god! He's a god! It was meant to be!" Kid was trying to discover whether or not it was actually possible to die of mortification.

"Prove it," some complete arsehole – most probably female – yelled from the safety of the crowd.

"Ok!"

"Hell. No." Kid spat, he'd already lost his dignity, his left sleeve and his trousers. He refused to loose his first kiss as well. He had to draw a line.

But apparently his opinion on the matter was irrelevant as the next thing he was aware of was Black Star's face coming dangerously close to his, Kid managed to free one hand and stop the other boys, what could only be described as, assault.

"Touch me and you-mmph" he forgot how persistent the stupid assassin could be when he wanted something.

There was an awed silence within the hall and the scattered sound of clicking cameras. It was only a quick kiss but that was probably the safest move by the tanned boy, any longer and Kid may have attempted to bite his lips off out of rage.

"Well…erm…I can see you were telling the truth…just be less noisy about it next time!" Sid attempted to chastise, Tsubaki dragged her jaw back up from New Zealand, Liz and Patti just blinked in awe, Soul had fallen asleep and Maka was busy rubbing her temples and wondering why she insisted on staying with these idiots.

"Right! Now that's over!" Black Star set about on his previous mission - that was until Kid floored him, complete rage taking over his system.

"What, pray tell, are you looking for!" barked the Shinigami "if you don't give me a straight answer I will prove that it is possible to spear through someone's brain with a sock!"

"I was curious…where do you fit Beelzebub?"

The population of Death City promptly collapsed in defeat.