July 15th 2:03 A.M. Montez Apartment
The touch of his fingertips on my bare shoulder sends shockwaves through my entire body. It's as if every time he kisses me or touches me it's the first time. Even after years apart, he still knows exactly where to touch me and just make me melt. I've come to realize that his eyes, those amazing oceanic pools, still have this look as if he's looking at me for the first time and has come to realize that he loves me all over again; though I know he never stopped. At least that's what he tells me. You would have thought that after years apart his eyes wouldn't show that same love and adoration they used to, but now, now it's even stronger. Even when we're in the heat of an argument, I can see it there.
Speaking of arguing, that's precisely what we did last night. So why am I laying here now naked in his arms? It's actually a funny story. We didn't have sex because we wanted to, no, it was more of a 'I hate you now kiss me!' sort of thing. In fact, now that I think of it, that is exactly what happened. I'm still sort of surprised by the whole thing. We've never been in such a heated argument before.
July 14th 10:19 P.M.
"I can't believe you said that!" I screamed at him as I stormed up the stairs. God he could be such an ass sometimes!
"What did I say!" He screamed back. It's as if he oblivious to everything. He does something and then doesn't know that he did it!
"Oh, you know what you said!" I stuck the key in the lock and forced the door open. Belle was with Nicky tonight since Troy and I wanted to have another night to ourselves. Some good that did!
Troy followed behind and shut the door. "Actually, I don't know what I said. If you would stop being a bitch maybe I could figure it out!" He shot back. I threw the keys on the counter and grabbed the first item I saw. The clicker. I spun around and chucked it at him. He hadn't known it was coming so it hit him square in the face. He flung his hands to his face. "What the fuck!" He screamed in pain.
"How dare you call me a bitch! Do you know what you are? Huh, huh!" A dozen names flew through my head.
"What? What am I huh?" He taunted me.
"You're a fucking ass whole that's what you are!"
"Ohh,I'm so scared! You called me an ass whole! Great Brie, fucking great!" He looked at one of his hands and pressed it back up against his face then looked at it again. "Fuck, I think I'm bleeding!"
"Oh boo hoo, cry me a fucking river. You deserve it after what you did!" I shot back.
"What the fuck did I do Brie! Please, the audience would like to know!" He used his arms to pretend there was an audience in the living room.
"Oh grow up!"
"See, that's it!" He pointed his finger at me as if he just figured out the million dollar question.
"What's it!"
"You don't know what I did! You're just making up excuses because you need a reason to hate me. Why, cuz you're a bitch!" He pounded his fist in the air to state his point.
I looked just ahead of me and saw some of Brie's toys on the couch. Block's to be specific. I picked it up and threw it at him. He was able to dodge it this time, but, there were more coming, the next few all hit him. One on the hip, another on his shoulder and a few to his stomach. "Stop calling me a bitch!" I screamed at him.
"Well, you are one. You're throwing things at me for fucks sake!" He shot back again.
"Because you deserve it! Do you really think I wanted those people to know!?" I shouted back.
"Why not Brie! I don't get it!" He seemed to calm down a little but I was still pissed.
"See! I knew you knew that that was the reason I was mad at you!" I shot back.
"Jesus Christ!" He groaned.
"I don't know those people, Bolton! I don't even know how they found us, but you just had to tell them that I had no money! To complete strangers!" I threw another one of Brie's toys at him. I think it was a stuffed toy this time though.
"Don't call me Bolton!" He growled. I gave him a look that says 'make me'. "I don't know how they found us either but they did! I was only telling them the truth!" He was definitely trying to calm me down. Un fortunately, the more he talked, the madder I got.
"The paparazzi don't want or need the truth since they never post the truth! I can't fucking believe this! UGH!!" I stormed past him and towards the bedroom. I need a shower, a nice hot long shower.
"Brie…" Troy followed close behind. "Please, I'm sorry o.k. I didn't mean what I said."
I stormed into the master bath and switched the light on. "Just don't o.k.! Just leave me alone!"
"No, please, talk to me!"
"UGH!! I hate it when you do that!" I screamed at him. I didn't want to calm down. I wanted to stay mad at him forever and here he is sweet talking me.
He was getting agitated again. "Do what!"
"Sweet talk me! I want to be mad at you o.k. so just leave me alone!"
"Jesus Christ Brie! Grow up!" He was definitely aggravated again.
"You!" I said, slamming the bathroom door shut. I started to take off my stilettos. We had gone to the Dell Bar, another high end restaurant in the dells, just to be together when the fucking paparazzi found us. of course the restaurant kept them out, but they couldn't keep us in. My shoes were a bitch in the crowd trying to get back to the car. I couldn't see in front of me and I slipped a couple of times.
I could hear him mumbling in the bedroom. I had caught a few, 'bitch' and 'retarded'. I was getting furious again. "Stop fucking talking to yourself!"
"Fuck you!" He yelled through the door.
I swung the door open again. "God, I hate you!" I was in a throwing mood again so I threw my stilettos. I hadn't realized he was that close to me so when I threw it heel up, it stuck right into his shoulder.
"FUCK!!" He screamed. He had taken his shirt off so his shoulder was bear. He staggered back a little and sat down on the bed. "Ahh, fuck Brie! Why do you keep fucking throwing things at me!? FUCK!" He moved his hand revealing a huge gash that was bleeding.
"Shit! UGH!!" I slammed the bathroom door shut so he couldn't see that I was a little guilty. Maybe the shoe was a bit far. UGH but he said that! I flung the bathroom door open again and stormed out.
"What the fuck is the matter with you huh!!" He stormed after me, furious now.
"You is what's the matter with me!" I reached the kitchen and grabbed the keys off the counter.
"Where the fuck are you going?!" He asked. Was he, worried?
"OUT!" I screamed and headed towards the door.
He jumped out in front of me, blocking the door. "No, you're not going anywhere!"
"Why the fuck not?!"
"Because I said so!" He was definitely still pissed.
I looked deep into his eyes, furious. "Oh, so you think you're the boss of me now huh!" I punched his chest. "MOVE!" I shouted.
"NO!"
I started just hitting him. I even slapped his face. "Fucking move!" I screamed again.
"Stop hitting me!" He shouted.
"What, you can't take a woman hitting you, huh huh!" I continued to hit him. Slapping his face once again.
He grabbed my arms. "STOP!!"
"Let me go!"
"Stop it Brie!" He growled.
"Fucking let go!" I tried to free myself from his grasp.
"NO!"
"I fucking hate you Bolton!" I screamed into his face.
"I said not to call me that!" He growled again.
"Why not, Bolton. Everybody else does!"
"Brie.." He challenged.
"Bolton Bolton Bolton!" I screamed.
"Say it one more fucking time." He threatened.
"And what!" I took a step back. "Are you gonna hit me?"
"Brie, you know I wouldn't…"
"Stop calling me Brie! I hate you right now!" I flung my arms in the air.
He blinked and shook his head. "No, you don't hate me."
I shook my head wildly. "The hell I don't! Bolton."
He shook his head pissed."God Dammit Brie!" I was pushing him to his limits.
"Come on, Bolton. Get pissed! That's what you are isn't it. Pissed. You fucking hate me! Just say it!" I slapped his face again. "You never wanted me to go to L.A. with you!"
"Enough." He growled again.
"NO! Not enough! Just because you waltzed back into my life unexpected doesn't mean I have to answer to you, EVER!"
"Do you want me to leave?!" He challenged.
"GO ahead. Do it! Leave you fucking ass whole! Leave, I wouldn't give a damn!"
"You're lying." He said. He almost sounded hurt. Is it a bad thing that he's no longer fighting with me. He's pretty much just standing here taking the insults.
"I only tell the truth! Just like you Mr. Bolton!"
"Fuck Brie!" He was growing angry again.
"BOLTON!!!" I screamed again.
He grabbed my face with his hands and slammed his lips against mine. There was this intense need that rushed through me all of a sudden. It was like I needed him now more than I ever needed him before.
He pulled away breathing heavily. I was too. "I love you."
"God, I fucking hate you." I breathed and forced his head back towards mine. Our lips met in the most tantalizing kiss I've ever had. I definitely needed him. I jumped up and flung my legs around his waist. He grunted and kissed me back harder. He lifted me up a little and began walking. I have no idea where we're going and I don't care. As long as he doesn't stop kissing me I'll be fine, for now.
When we reached wherever we were going, he flung me down onto the bed. He crawled up to me and I grabbed his face, guiding him back to my lips again. This was indeed very intense. He pulled away and started kissing down my neck and shoulders. My hands roamed around his bare skin. I accidently hit the gash in his shoulder and he hissed into my neck. I sat up a little and gently touched the gash. He studied my face as I looked it over before leaning forward and kissing it. He grabbed my face again and a little gentler kissed me. There was still a lot of need in me so I kissed him back. Harder this time. He moaned into my mouth only making me want him even more, if that was possible.
I turned over so I could look up at him and saw him in a deep sleep. He was smiling as usual, sometimes even chuckling in his sleep. I wonder what he dreams about? I scanned his face, staring at his perfect chin and moving up towards his nose and finally his forehead. I cringed when I saw the huge red bump forming there. I looked at his shoulder. It has stopped bleeding now but there was still a huge gash. I had been pretty mad, but as always, all he had to do was kiss me and I was gone.
I feel absolutely horrible for having said the things I said. Not nearly as bad as I do about physically hurting him, but I know that the words cut much deeper than my actions. I've always known that he never gave up on me, even when he knew I gave up on him. He was always there, just not there. I should have never said this things. Somehow, I think he knows that too. He must have known that kissing me would end all the hurtful things I was saying. He must have known that I didn't mean what I said. He must know me better than I know myself. Leaving him was the worst thing I've ever done.
SO what's to come of L.A.? I have no clue. Will I like it? Will I hate it? Will Belle love it? Will Belle hate it? Who knows. I guess that question will be answered when we finally get there. If I'm correct, we should be leaving in a few days. That's why, I believe, I was so, you could say, cranky. My stress levels have been through the roof lately and the simple statement Troy made to the Paparazzi was enough to send me over the wall. Even enough to where he was calling me a bitch. I'm not happy about that, now that I think of it, but he wasn't calling me a bitch for very long, plus, I sort of deserved it. I was being a bitch.
I heard him groan next to me and felt his arm pull me closer to his body. I gripped his body tighter and sighed against his chest. God I love this man.
"What are you thinking about?" He simply said. His voice didn't sound tired therefore he must have been awake this whole time.
"How long have you been awake for?" I asked, giggling in between.
I felt him shrug his shoulders. "I don't believe I ever did fall asleep."
I giggled. "That explains why you weren't snoring."
He chuckled. "Hey, I don't snore."
"Oh, so that extremely loud noise is from the garbage truck that comes by at 2 in the morning?" I giggled again.
He smiled. "Duh!"
We both laughed. It's crazy to think that just a few hours ago we were calling each other names and I was throwing things at him. "I'm sorry." I said.
"For what?" He didn't even sound bothered. In fact, he sounded confused.
I felt his lips against the top of my head. "For everything. I've taken everything you've done for me for granted and here you are, in my bed. I don't deserve you."
He turned his head so he could take a better look at my face. I shifted as well so I could look at him as well. "Don't ever say that. If anything I don't deserve you." I tried to comment but he wouldn't let me. "Gabriella, you have every right to be mad at me. I didn't find you when I needed to. I didn't try hard enough…"
This time I did interrupt him. "Now don't you be ridiculous." I sat up and so did he. "You did everything in your power. If it wasn't for me you wouldn't have had to waste 2 years of your life looking for me." He started to shake his head. "Just listen. "I took a deep breath and sighed, placing a hand on his cheek. He rested his head against my palm. "I love you, Troy. More than you know. You don't deserve me because I've only realized that in the past month. You realized that back in High School. I took you for granted. I mean, it took me two years before I finally told you I loved you, and then it w2as when I was trying to break up with you for the third time. Never, not once have you givin up on me, and her I am, trying to stay in our fourth go. You always find a way to get me back, always. You mean the world to me. I just wish I could have figured that out years ago."
He smiled at me. "But you did Gabriella. The whole reason for you leaving in the first place was because you loved me. You wanted me to be happy. You wanted me to have the life I always dreamed of. You were thinking of me, not yourself. You've always loved me, you were just afraid. I knew you loved me, that's why I always fought for you, and I always will."
I crawled over to him and sat in his lap. I felt his arms wrap around me and his lips against my head again. "I love you Troy."
"And I love you Gabriella."
No matter what he says, I still don't deserve him.
July 17th 2:54 P.M.
She's starting to scare me.
She had been having bad dreams a lot, but lately. Lately they seem to be happening every night. Every night she tells me I'm leaving, but I've told her before that I'm never leaving. I'll always protect her and be there, but now it's as if she doesn't believe me at all. She's gotten very distant from me and It's really starting to freak me out. She used to run into my arms when she woke up and always want to be in my arms all day long, but now she will barely even speak to me.
Did I do something wrong?
Am I going to do something wrong?
I sure as hell hope not. I'm here father. I should always be able to protect her no matter what happens. These monsters that seem to invade her dreams every night should be no problem for me, but I'm losing. I'm losing not only this battle with these monsters, but the battle with my daughter. Shouldn't this type of stuff be happening later? Like when she's 13? I should have at least 10 more years before she starts to not want to be around me. Well, technically she should always want to be around me, but at 4 she should want nothing more than to be around me. She doesn't even call me daddy any more. She calls me big blue. One day she even called me Troy. This isn't right. I wish I knew what she was dreaming about. I really do.
I'm sure I'm just being paranoid, right? She was messing around with Brie when she called me Troy. I laughed when she said it. She's always called me big blue too. It's our little nick names we used to call each other.
Yeah.
I'm just being paranoid.
Everything is fine. Everything will be just fine.
Right?
"Dude, are you o.k.?"
I jumped and looked over to the side. Chad was there. He had come back from Connecticut a couple of days ago with Taylor. Brie, him, Taylor and I are all going out for dinner tonight. He said it was for a special occasion. I bet he's going to propose to Taylor. I know it sounds farfetched, but if I know Chad, that's what he's going to do. He likes to move extremely fast. Taylor, thankfully, was talking to Brie and I the other day as well and mentioned how she could picture spending the rest of her life with him. We asked her if she wanted to marry him and she just smiled really big and nodded. I had a feeling it was going to get down to that. He's crazy for her, just not as crazy as I am. If I remember correctly, he was overly excited to see me too. Maybe he's' going to tell me he's going to pop the question to her.
Why do they even call it popping the question? I could understand the popping part if she didn't want to marry him, but she does so it's more of a 'I know it you know it so just say yes' sort of thing.
Though I can also understand why a guy would be nervous to ask a question. Obviously if he wants to commit, well then there has to be something there. Popping would seem to work for a man who is extremely nervous and hopes to god that the woman he loves would say yes.
"Dude!"
"Huh, what?"
"Dude, seriously. Did something happen with you and Gabriella or something?" He looked extremely nervous. How bad do I look?
"No, um no, I guess my minds just full of stuff right now. With all of us moving back to L.A. and all I guess I just have a lot on my mind."
He nodded and I relaxed. I sat down on the pavement and grabbed my water bottle. The wind picked up a little bit and the calming noise of the leaves on the trees filled the air. I do love it here in Wisconsin. Everything just seems so peaceful, definitely the opposite of L.A.
"Actually, L.A. is why I wanted to talk to you." He started to get all fidgety again.
"Because you're not coming back?" I asked simply while I took a drink from my water bottle.
"Huh?" He was a bit shocked.
I chuckled. "It's obvious that you are going to move to Connecticut with Taylor. You must have scouted out homes there so you could live together."
"Wait, what?"
"Oh come on!" I chuckled again.
"Well, you have part of it right."
"What part?"
"I'm not going back to L.A."
"Because…" Why doesn't he just say it?
"Because I'm moving back to Albuquerque."
"Wait what?!"
This time Chad laughed. "Dude, you think you know me soo well."
"Well, I thought I did." I laughed too. "What about Taylor?" I asked. Maybe he'll tell me now?
He shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know man. I guess I'll just have to ask her. I haven't even brought up the fact that she has to go back home next week.
"So are you going to go your separate ways?" I started to feel bad for him. If he was losing Taylor again, it would kill him.
"I don't know. I guess I'll find out when I ask her."
I nodded my head and grabbed the basketball out of his hands and stood up. "SO I guess this means we're not team mates anymore?"
He stood up and smiled weakly at me. "Basketball was fun while it lasted, but it's just not what I wanted."
"And what do you want?" I asked.
He smiled up at me. "Her."
I dribbled the ball a couple of times. "And you thought it was a bad thing to be whipped."
He laughed and tried to take the ball away from me. "It is when you're pathetic about it!"
"Oooo ouch!" He attempted to steal the ball away from me but I swung around and went up for a three.
Swoosh
He came up behind me and pushed me. I laughed. "Welcome to the 'Sad Whipped Men" club. He pushed me again and I ran laughing. He caught up to me and tackled me to the ground.
Even as pathetic men with girlfriends and a dream job, we can still be ridiculous teenagers.
We'll be friends forever.
At least I hope so.
Sorry It took so long to Update. I just couldn't figure out what I wanted to happen. The next chapter will be the last before they head to California. Only like 6 more chaps before this story is over.
Thanks again to everyone who is commenting and just holding on to this story. You have no idea how much it means to me that you read this. You guys (and girls) are awesome!! PLEASE REVIEW!! Thanks! SuzzieD!! : - )