Title: notes optional
Summary: Soul proclaims his undying love for Maka...or he would do if Kid dropped the pen and Black Star stopped scribbling dirty innuendo. Pairing: SoulMaka.
Author: THE SOCK!
Length: 909
Comments: I was a poet and I didn't know it.
Soul///Kid///Star///The pen
(This will make sense in about two seconds)
Dear…
(…nah to formal…)
--
My heart?
(GAY!)
(Go drown.)
--
Tiny-Tits!
(She'd just hit me…a lot.)
--
You.
(Too direct)
(Yeah…wait what?!)
--
Idiot.
(Yeah. Perfect.)
--
(Ahem.)
Soul's Letter of Awesome…(Fail) (Make the 'O' Caps so it's symmetrical…)
Idiot.
I don't know how to tell you this…
(Aren't you being a little too blunt? Idiot is not the way to woo a lady!)
(Get your own letter!)
(Take my amazing advice! I, who have slept with 100, no, 1000 women-)
ANYWAY! Like I was saying:
DEAREST IDIOT (much better) I don't know how to tell you this (with a letter…duh…) but I've started to erm…well…
(Soul and Maka kissing in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!)
(Don't you guys have a tall object to be hanging yourselves from?!)
You and I have known each other for such a long time now…(a year.)
(A year and a bit douche!)
(Dude that's it? HAH! Mine is a higher number than yours!)
(Yeah but mine's one so shut up.)
(Damn it)
(So it was just a year?)
MOVING ON!
In that (short) time I feel like we have gotten to know each other and stuff…I just needed to tell you that…
…
(That?)
(THAT?!)
My friends are nosey assholes.
(You cut me deeply Soul…)
(At least I can proclaim my love to women. Unlike you romantically impaired asymmetrical idiots.)
(That's not very nice…)
(Yeah. Black Star's not impaired…oh no wait.)
(Ass)
(Asymmetrical idiot! Oh…wow…that sounds great to say, I can see why you do that now.)
(…)
Anyway…
That…erm…well…you…when I eat my cereal and it gets all soggy I think of you and remind myself to keep on going. (Point. Proven) (mmmm…cereal…)
(You do better then! Prissy rich boy…)
(Fine. Give me the pen…)
(This. Will. Be. Epic)
--
Maka,
It hasn't been very long since we first met, I know it was all very vague and not explained properly but the main point is that when we met we had a connection, whether through my music, or some silly twist of destiny.
We found- (GAY. GAY!)
(What?!)
(My turn now!)
--
Lesser being!
I! The great Bl-Soul Eater Evans, have chosen you to be my mate!
ACCEPT!
Kthxbi
Soul
Xx
P.S. Kid's like's men (Not as much as your mother) (guys wtf!)
(MUM'S DEAD! HAH!)
(I refuse to send either of those. Pen to ME!)
--
Take 2
Dearest Idiot,
You swing my scythe if you get my-
(BLACK. STAR!)
(Kid's laughing.)
(Kid's on drugs, give me the pen!)
--
3
Maka-Baka,
Roses are red,
Violet's are blue,
Nothing rhymes with symmetry,
And Soul loves you.
(…I hate you guys.)
(It rhymed. Don't be picky)
(…butterfree, tree, me, lee, pee…)
(Thank you Dr. Seuss.)
--
5
(It's 4 you retard.)
(I reinvented the alphabet! 5 comes before 4!)
(No comment)
(Guys…just. give. Me. The. PEN!)
Idiot,
I know you aren't interested in romance, least of all right now in the middle of a WAR but my hormones are retarded and threw themselves into the forefront of my mind when I least suspected.
(…Soul. You walked in on her)
(So?)
(Naked.)
(And?!)
(By breaking down the door…)
(…that proves nothing.)
(HAH! I NEVER get caught!)
(Same.)
(…)
(wait…what?)
(Did I say something?)
Anyway…(o.o) moving on…
I was never very interested (LIES) in you, for starters you weren't (just huge breasts) anywhere near my type and your dad was a lunatic.
(Yeah that man has issues…)
(glare)
(What?)
(Look who's talking Mr and Mrs Hypocrite!)
(My father's perfectly sane!)
(Who's the 'Mrs'?)
Our lives haven't been easy (No shit) and I'm surprised we're even alive right now after all the insanity (oh the puns) that's happened to us.
I know you hate guys (Like a fat chick hates exercise!) and I'm not exactly (as beautifully stunning and ethereally handsome as the dynamic purity known as Black Star)
(…you got Kid to tell you the 'fancy' words didn't you?)
(NO!) (Yes.) (YOU LIKE MEN!)
-what you'd call 'the perfect catch'. (His hairs asymmetrical for a start…) but I like the way you cook and…you fight well and don't take rubbish from anyone else, not even Stein, and when you do crazy crap like throw yourself into a hug for Chrona you nearly make me swallow my own tongue in terror but that's what makes you…
(Are you guys CRYING?!)
(Men don't cry!)
(Feel free to bawl then Star)
(…MISMATCHING SANZU LINES!)
(aohfahirahr…oa-£!&?!---)
…
(Oh great. He's dead. Nice one.)
(Go back to writing emo poetry in your margin, hair band boy)
(It's a war band! For the last time!)
(Keep telling yourself that, maybe people won't think you're more effeminate than Kid)
(Hey!)
(I thought you were dead?)
(I was, then I remembered how much I needed to do this)
(what? OW! God damn it!)
(HAH!)
(My work here is done.)
(YOU SHOT ME! IN THE FOOT!)
(Hold still so I can get the other one)
Where was I? Oh yes, you, as usual, because my (our) whole life (lives) seems to revolve around you.
Well…I just wanted to tell you…
The remote's under the sofa.
Enjoy!
Soul x.
…
(…what?)
(…well I feel sheepish…)
(What did you guys expect? A love letter?!)
(Just put the table down Star and walk away…)
--