Title: Therapeutic
Author: Sierra (aka Xfiercexxx)
Pairing: Liz/Kid
Note: Holy guacamoley.... You do realise we got about twenty reviews for the last chapter right? Think you guys can top that? Cause that would make you the most epic readers ever. (Not blackmailing, just pursuading). Your requests are much appreciated but I started writing this before we got any so I did this one for me just to prove I could XD
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Death the Kid was a simple man-boy....whatever, with simple tastes. The shelving had to be even, the paintings in his home straight, his suit wrinkle and stain free and his hair perfectly congruant to his facial features.
He wasn't big on fancy, after all, his magically appearing umbrella and his precious Beelzebub kept in accordance with this.
He didn't like elaborate things; his home (mansion) was simply standard, not too showy, just symmetrical.
So when he came home to find his casual, un-elaborate, simple home completely different than how he left it he was furious (after he went into post-traumatic shock that is) "WHO WOULD DO THIS?!" he heard a high pitched shriek of surprise of such frequency that it temporarily deafened his ears. "Liz! How could this happen?! It's horrible!"
"Kid?" A jean clad half of his artillery tested the waters uncertainly. Her partner was twitching and a quite unhealthy shade of green had tinted his face.
"W-what is this?" he looked around at the sideways facing statues, the non equilateral triangular designs on the walls, the crooked paintings, the random items littering the floor of- what the hell kind of bone was that?!
"Shock therapy."
"Excuse me?" he whimpered a little.
"Purple is so not your color." she said nervously, gesturing to the unhealthy shade his face has now taken on. "You look like a blueberry."
"Liz," he grit through his groans of sorrow and emo poetry, "What. Do. You. Mean. Shock. Therapy? This is all-!"
"DON'T SAY IT!" the fires of hell danced up from the ground to create the background of her horrific scaryface. "You aren't allowed to use the A word or the S word."
"At all?"
"At all."
"Why?" he curled up into a ball in the corner and began to rock back and forth.
"We're breaking you of a habit; your obsessive compulsive disorder." she laid a hand on his shoulder delicately. "You need help Kid. You have a problem."
"Do not." he murmured petulantly.
She leaned close to his face then hesitated, brushing his bangs aside.
"WHOAH! Time out!" he turned around and quick replaced his bangs before turning back to find her triumphant grin.
"See what I mean?"
"This proves nothing."
"Uh huh," she paused, "Well then, I'll just keep it all like this then."
He began to hyperventilate. "Nooooo!" he hugged her leg, "Please! I'll do anything."
"I'm trying to break your habit, not make deals."
He chocked and rocked some more. "I don't deserve to live."
"Fine, I'll make you a bet. If you can do 72 hours without saying the words symmetrical, asymmetrical, fixing someone's hair, clothes and/or facial features then I'll never intervene again. If you lose, it's back to shock therapy." she laughed evilly.
...Decisions decisions.... He weighed the options (evenly of course)
"I'll do it."
1 hour later...
"Ah, what a lovely day, I can wear what I want, I don't have to stuff my bra, Kid's behaving..."
-Twitch Twitch-
"It will all end if you go to therapy."
"Never!"
Another hour later...
"He-he-hello Death the Kid-san." Crona wheezed, rubbing her arm nervously as Kid glared at her bangs."
"You look like you just went through a blender." he snapped.
"What's that Kid?" Liz called, "Do I hear you fixing something?"
"No ma'am!" he replied, sulking.
Another two hours later...
"YAHOO!"
"..." The occupants of the school shivered, all simultaneously noticing the killing aura, "I just died a little on the inside." Shinigami's son whispered emotionlessly, "I hope that makes you happy when I'm gone Black Star." he clutched his chest.
The end is near...
Three hours later....
-Twitch-...-Blink- .... -Twitch- ... BOOM!
Yay for onomatopoeias.
"You asymmetrical bunch of -beep- morons, you disgust me in my perfect symmetrical greatness! NO I AM NOT LIKE BLACK STAR!!! Maka, fix your damn ponytail, ones higher than the other. Black Star, I WILL KILL YOU FOR RUINING THE -BEEP- SYMMETRICAL BEAUTY OF SHIBUSEN!! Soul! Your smile is crooked. Liz, stuff your bra! Crona CUT YOUR HAIR FOR CRIPES SAKE...!" he promptly fainted, dizzy from yelling. "There...I feel so much better." he groaned from the ground.
"All I said was sanzu lines." Patty blinked.
Liz laughed evilly. "Bwhahahahaha. Shock therapy here we come! Bwahahahah -hack-cough-hack-."
Kid finally lost it.
The apocolypse has come.
Run.
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-Poke Poke- "Liz, I think you broke him."
Note: What I meant by 'to prove I could' was that I don't particularly like Liz…she sort of annoys me. But whatever. Thanks for reading!