A/N: One... One hundred and one reviews?! Oh, my! I think I'm so happy I died. XP Well, because we reached one hundred reviews I will write you all a LxL one shot! In your review just tell me what you want it to be about, then we can take a vote by making a new poll. :D Thank you all SO much! And NightRoseK really deserves a round of applause for Betaing this thing, this chapter had many confusing spelling things... XP It's all better now! Thanks for more virtual cake! I LOVE cake. :} But now for the bad news, the next update will be a bit slow, seeing as school is starting Wensday AND I have to update my other story of which I am losing passion for because this story is more fun. XD Really, I am sorry. And if anyone can guess where I got the quote from gets... Uh... Er... I don't know, you tell me what you want! XD Anyways, after all that news, please read, enjoy, and review! :D

Chapter 11: Leave

Light sat outside Watari's office. It was a few hours after Light talked to L, and Matt was in trouble and still nowhere to be seen. Mello had refused to talk to Watari or Roger, and constantly sat with Near who kept the toy they used as Kira. Roger and Watari tried to take it back but Mello was always present to make sure neither so much as touched Near. L was yelled at for misbehaving but not much else was done to him, for it was his first time getting punished. Near was yelled at as well, but Mello got the worst punishment so far. Watari and Roger gave him shots and moved his room.

So that left Light to face his ultimate death, otherwise known as Watari.

"Come in Light," Watari called. Light took his last deep breath to reassure himself, and then he reluctantly got to his feet and walked into the office. Watari sat at the desk, papers on top, as Light walked to the couch and sat down.

"You look tired," Watari noted.

"L, Mello, Matt, and I stayed up all night comforting Near. But you already know that," Light answered, crossing his legs and leaning his head into his hand. Watari pointedly ignored the last comment.

"So, you've made friends with Mello and L?" Watari asked.

"Why? Is that wrong?"

"Does it feel wrong?"

"No."

"Before you came here did you have many guy friends? Would you say that before you came here most of your friends consisted of girls?" Watari asked, completely changing the course of the conversation.

"Does it say in those papers that I'm promiscuous?" Light asked, fighting Watari back with his own question.

"Why do you choose that word?"

"How many people do I have to sleep with to be titled promiscuous? Textbook promiscuous."

"How many do you think?"

"Ten, fifteen, eight?" Light listed numbers off the top of his head. "And how many people would a girl my age have to sleep with to be considered promiscuous? Ten, eleven, twenty?"

"Well, someone who is compulsively promiscuous will partake in a sexual act with their significant other one day and then take part in another sexual act with a friend later that same day," Watari explained, folding his hands and placing them on the desk. Light paused.

"Am I in trouble for kissing L, or having sex with Misa?" Light asked before he realized he did. Internally he cursed himself, but Watari chose not to comment on it.

"I was looking back at our therapy sessions together in these papers." Watari flipped through some papers, looking for just the right one. "You once said that your theory of your illness is that you were always made to be ordered around. That you were never meant to take control."

"Yeah, and another one of my theories is that none of you people have any idea of what you're doing around here," Light growled.

"Still, you acknowledge there is a problem coping-"

"I have a problem coping with this damn hospital," Light stated, unfolding his legs so he could lean on them and get closer to Watari. "I want to leave."

"I'm afraid I can't let you do that."

"Why not? I signed myself in, I should be allowed to sign myself out."

"Indeed you did sign yourself into our care. That means that, since you're in our care, we decide when you get out," Watari explained. "You're not ready for it, Light. Your progress has fallen."

There was a pause as Light thought over what he had just heard, glaring at the older man.

"Does that disappoint you?" Watari asked. Light leaned back, shrugging.

"I'm apathetic. In fact, it's my new favorite word," Light stated.

"Do you know what that word means?"

"I don't care."

"You should care if it's your favo-"

"It means I don't care," Light hissed.

"Oh, on the contrary. I think the word you're thinking of is ambivalent," Watari stated, taking out a dictionary.

"No. You're wrong." Light got up and grabbed the dictionary, trying to find the page he was looking for. "Ambivalent means simultaneous and contradictory thoughts towards a course of action. Continual fluctuation between one thing and its opposite, or uncertainty as to which approach to follow."

Light found the page and dropped the book on Watari's desk for the elder man to see. Watari stared at the page in shock as Light went to go and sit back down.

"Will I stay, or will I go?" Light asked, referring to the word.

"Am I sane, or am I crazy?" Watari answered.

"Those aren't courses of actions."

"They can be, Light. They can be, for some."

"Well, it's the wrong word anyway." Light leaned into the couch.

"No. I think it's perfect," Watari stated, closing the book. "Fureta yoru wo kowarasetemo, yume to iu yokubou no kage wo yobitsuzukeru, kyuno tsumi to itami wo shinjiteyuku."

"We may never break through this endless night, but that tiny selfish dream remains that we'll see another morning, if we can just accept our sins and the pain they bring," Light translated, glaring.

"Can you accept your sins and all the pain they have brought? It's a big question you're faced with, Light," Watari explained. "Can you indulge in your flaws? What are your flaws? Are they flaws? If you embrace them will you commit yourself to this hospital for life? Big questions, big decisions. Not surprising that you'd express carelessness about them."

Light stared at him for a moment. Not moving, and most certainly glaring the whole time.

Damn him..!

"Is that it?" Light asked, hand twitching as he fought to control himself.

"No. There is one last thing I would like to talk to you about," Watari started, leaning back into his chair. "It's about your relationship with L."

Oh, how did I know that was coming?

"What about it? Is that wrong too? Am I bad for giving L what no one else could?" Light asked, annoyance growing sharply through his veins.

"No. There's nothing wrong with having a relationship and I'm not going to stop it but I would like to take notice that things are moving fast for the two of you," Watari stated.

"Fast? We made out for the first time yesterday!" Light almost yelled, fighting the urge to jump out of his seat. How did Watari know exactly how to press his buttons?

"But you do understand who you both are, correct? You, Light, are a popular and promiscuous young man. L is shy and a victim of rape. You both are polar opposites and even kissing is too much too soon for someone like L," Watari explained and Light opened his mouth as if to say something, but soon closed it. "All I wish to truly do is protect everyone here and help them."

Maybe Watari's right. Maybe I am rushing L. What will I do? How does L feel?

"When L says he's ready for something, that's the time we'll do anything at all. Until then I'm going to have to stick to relieving myself in the bathroom," Light growled, eyes showing all his anger. "And if you really are worried about protecting people, then maybe you should try letting Mello see Matt. Their relationship isn't hurting anyone."

Light stood, turning towards the door, but not moving.

"Light! Think about all you're doing! L needs more time and you need someone who can meet your sexual needs, so why don't you both just go your separate ways?" Watari asked.

"More time? He needs more time? Watari, he was raped when he was five years old! It's been thirteen years! How long do you plan on smothering him?!"

"When he rids himself of his disorder and is able to at least say a friendly hello to anyone who offers it. He lives in fear of strangers and when he gets friends he will do anything to hold onto them," Watari explained. "He considers you his best friend for reasons I don't know. He dates you because he wants to hold onto you, and if you asked he would most definitely sleep with you if that meant you would stay with him forever."

"..." Light bit his lip, keeping his back to Watari. He lowered his head and tried to think about the words Watari spoke. "Would...would L really do that? Just to keep friends? Really, would he do that?"

"You know of his disorder," Watari stated as Light clenched his hands into fists. "The real question is what will you do, Light? Now that you know about L, what will you do?"

Silence fell over as Light's fists started to shake.

Fuck you... Fuck you!

"Are you done, now?" Light asked, ignoring the other man. He didn't have an answer, especially for Watari, so he planned on leaving the room no matter what Watari said.

"Yes."

Good.

[Because I'm going to leave this place. And I'm going to bring L with me.]

--

"Mello? What are you doing awake at this hour?" Roger asked, walking to Mello who sat watching television. The blond continued to sit, not taking his ice-blue eyes away from the screen.

"What was your dream when you were little Roger? It couldn't have been to work here, that would just be stupid. What was it?" Mello asked in an uncharacteristically calm voice.

"My...my dream was to help people. True, I did not see myself working here, but this is just as good as any other job with helping people," Roger explained.

"Are you happy?" Mello asked, biting into a chocolate bar.

"...You really should be asleep, Mello." Roger trailed off, looking at the entranced blond.

"My dream was to be helpful and keep people safe. It was always to make people happy even though people think I'm heartless," Mello explained, idly chewing the chocolate in his mouth. "I think I'll work in Disney Land. Near could come too, he could be Mickey Mouse and no one would know that he's an albino. Matt could be a prince, what person would not want to be his princess? Light could be another prince, he already makes all the girls swoon. And L could be his princess, he'd make a pretty girl..."

"What would you do, Mello?" Roger asked.

"I'd work from the shadows as an officer so I can shoot the bad people. Or maybe sell candy at a shop for all the hungry little kids. Whichever pays better."

Silence took over as Roger turned off the television and took the chocolate away from Mello without any protest. He was getting grudgingly scared about when the blond would blow.

"Let's get to bed." Roger guided Mello to his room and laid the blond on his bed. He took out a needle and inserted it into Mello before he went to the door to exit the room, but stopped and turned to Mello. "I'm sorry."

"I know," Mello stated and Roger closed the door. Mello rolled onto his side, pulling out another needle and inserting it into himself. "But that's not going to stop me."