Title: Public Service Announcement
Author: Fiercest
Pairings: Soul/Maka/MarySue, Mr. Chimps/Banana smoothie machine.
Note: JoinourcontestJoinourcontestJoinourcontestJoinourcontestJoinourcontestJoinourcontestJoinourcontestJoinourcontestJoinourcontest... Subliminal enough for you?

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[The views expressed in this ficlet are solely those of Sierra N Michelle, also known to you as Fiercest. They are in no way associated with Fierce Sock Productions. Any and all content should not be taken seriously and in all honesty should probably be ignored. You have been warned.]

A cat, a weapon, a meister and a Marysue walk into a bar. Obviously an implosion of some sort is bound to follow.

A woman of the purple haired variety and yellow eyes with surprisingly amazing upper body strength dragged her two roommates (Kicking a screaming, a minor detail really) happily and kindly like a good housemate should.

She could just feel the warm fuzzies radiating from her two adorable little companions…Or maybe that was killing aura…Whichever. Who cares? She now had a couple underage drinking buddies. Felony is quite fun once you get past the whole moral thing. (She's kidding kids, respect the law…And don't do drugs!)

Little did the trio know that a horrible, menacing threat lurked in the shadows.

Blair sat Soul and Maka down next to each other on the piss smelling no doubt gum infested bar stools and quick as lightning duct taped them to their spots. "Order up Bartender-san! I'll have an appletini please!" She slammed her hand down on the counter in a needlessly dramatic fashion.

Soul scooted his seat forward so that he could collapse on the no doubt germ infested countertop, banging his head methodically, internally cursing whatever imbalanced god out there decided that talking cats are just cute. "Scotch on the rocks."

Maka, being an enormous bookworm however knew the entire bar cliché, "Why is there a banana smoothie machine?" The bartender gave her a look as if she was stupid and she was seriously beginning to contemplate the man's sanity level. The way he looked at that thing was not healthy.

"For Mr. Chimps of course," he pointed his thumb at the primate slurping yellow mush from a glass, down at the other end. The monkey grinned and gave her the thumbs up.

"Honestly is there no health inspector in this city?" Soul groaned, shivering as his hand connected with a particularly wet and sticky wad of gum under the counter.

"But why-?" She was interrupted by the boy's hand clamping over her mouth. "Don't even go there Maka, don't." His head reacquainted itself with the counter just as his drink arrived. This was so uncool…Then again he was at a bar with two girls. Albeit Maka hardly qualified with her ridiculously flat chest. Oh, if only she was hot then she'd be the oh so wonderfully perfect girl of his dreams. Sigh, sweet huh?

His meister chose that exact moment to rub the back of her neck and comment on how hot it was before unzipping her leather jacket (That's right kiddies! You don't in any way need to be cool or a badass to wear these! Good little kiddies who listen to their parents and do their homework can too!) and reveal her tank top clad upper half, unveiling the fact that either she was smuggling fruit or-

"Blair made me wear it," she said in explanation, that's always the reason after all. Because the female protagonist is never capable of choosing her own clothes when she goes out, what blasphemy that would be!

Okay, she was perfect now.

Soul was about to confess his undoubtedly completely-not-teenage-angst-in-any-way undying love right in front of everyone like the cool guy he is when suddenly a puff of very pink and oh so scary smoke filled the building.

"Ah ha! I am the wonderful Susan Down! A weapon unlike any other, I can wield," dramatic pause, "MYSELF!"

"Yawn."

"Can't Justin Law do that?"

"But I'm so much more awesome than him!" The voice shouted through the smog before hacking, "I have super cool headphones!"

"You're kidding right?" Maka looked in her general direction flatly, "So does Justin."

"But mine," Another dramatic pause, "Are SkullCandies!" Dun dun duuun…

"Oh…Well that changes things." She nodded solemnly.

Finally, conveniently the moment the disembodied voice and the meister had nothing more to talk about the smoke cleared and for some completely useless and nonsense making reason the bar was completely empty except for the partners, the cat, the stranger and Mr. Chimps who decided to stick around.

Like I said; A meister, a weapon, a cat and a Marysue walk into a bar. What could possibly go wrong?

...What will happen next!?

Who will win the face off, catfight of the century? Maka or Mary?

Will beat Blair out for the shows new mascot?

Will Soul finally get his PhD in cool?

Will we ever find out who Kid's mother is?

Tune in next week to find out!

Note: Yeah...I'm ashamed...But we've reached 30 people! We'd like to thank all you wonderful reviewers and especially ToastweaselofDOOM who reviewed EVERY chapter.

We'd love to reach the big 3-0-0 for chapter 3-0! So give us a shoutout.

-Fiercest

PS: Requests and ideas would also be great.