Title: Material Challenge
Length: 786
Author: Alliriyan – High Queen of Epic Plotbunnies. No kidding. Look me up.
Pairing: Chair/Stein (we are still serious, people!)
Sum: …the requested third chapter. Chair-chan confesses. Stein blinks.
Music: Not really themed, but I was listening to an awesome amv by Chiikaboom on YouTube - .com/watch?v=s42OGpnBSxM&feature=channel_page
A/N: When both plotbunnies and reviewers are biting you, obey. Swiftly.
For: Fierce, who does not know I have stolen her place whilst she is on holiday, Pip for letting me steal her fanfic and Sk8er-Fujiwara for requesting the third chapter. = D Chair-chan wuvs you!

Because these are meant to be short, there is now an option for a fourth chapter called Material Resonance. And I promise it's over after that. Holler if you want it. = )

Blair had returned to the company of Stein's swivelly chair, almost hypnotised by her pure fail at relationships, human logic and life in general.

"So..." said Blair slowly. "Is there nothing that would convince you to reveal yourself to Stein? Meow? Because I wanna be there to see his face when you do. I mean…There's been a Weapon under his nose all this time. It'll kill him." Spotting the girl's look of horror, she added, "Kill him laughing. Not kill him dead."

"Well," mused the electric chair weapon, stretching and cracking her back after two days of being Stein's seat without rest; "there is one thing."

"Oho? What?" Blair began to purr. "Tell me, tell me, niaow."

"There is..." she paused tantalisingly; "the challenge."

"The challenge?" repeated Blair, leaping into the lap of her new 'friend' (read distraction) in cat form and curling up. She had to admit, the girl's lap was very comfy indeed. But what else could you expect from a person who was able to transform into any chair of her choice? Just like with Soul, who she would expect to have a long -

"The challenge," sighed the Weapon adoringly. "If he completes the challenge I will gladly throw myself into his open arms. The challenge will prove not only his skill, intelligence and dexterity, but most importantly that he is capable of adapting to my requirements as a weapon and that we suit each other perfectly. And then we will become the most incredible meister and weapon duo ever."

Wow, thought Blair; that was a pretty hefty challenge. Maybe Chair-chan had actually put some thought into this.

"So…what is it?" nudged the cat, curiosity peaked.

Chair-chan gave an evil smile and pointed dramatically towards the exit. "Scoot the spinny wheelie chair OVER THE DOORFRAME!!!"

Thunder boomed and lightning flashed.

But only because C-chan had made it.

Blair groaned, depressed by the pathetic anti-climax. "Again, I thought he was supposed to be a genius…"

~meow~

Stein was trying the CHALLENGE again. It was something that had eluded him ever since he'd picked up the wonderful, fun habit of whooshing about everywhere on his fantastic chair that loved him, and didn't care if he smoked, and could be dissected, and wasn't a witch in disguise trying to kill him. That was the brilliant thing about chairs. They were just chairs. And if they swivelled that was even better.

But there was a slight problem. Although he didn't need anything other than the fact that he was freaking scary with a scalpel to intimidate his peers and students, or the knowledge that he was the most powerful meister in Shibusen history to increase his reputation; the constant slamming into walls, falling down stairs and tripping over door frames was really starting to bug him. It just wasn't...evil.

And Stein liked evil.

In small doses.

When Shinigami-sama wasn't watching.

With a side-order of stark raving mad.

In any case, he was facing the challenge. Again. The four hundred and fifty-ninth attempt.

ZOOM

WHAM

Again!

Whoosh!

BAM!

This time he adjusted his screw, shifted his weight closer to what would be the back wheels when he went over (without going flying, damnit) the frame and tried to predict his trajectory.

He aimed.

He kicked off.

He scooted over the frame with barely a bump to slow him down!

He then remembered the short flight of steps outside his office (which he had left out of his equations), tumbled down them, and crashed to a heap on the ground. The chair landed on top of him, castor wheels spinning crazily.

Ow.

"Success!" proclaimed a joyous voice that was not his own. "On the four hundred and sixty-first try! Take your reward, Franken-kun!"

There was a flash of yellow light. His beloved, trusty office chair transformed into a little-black-dress-clad female with a silver spiral (lightning rod? Electrical diffuser? Ray gun?) sticking out of her updo.

He looked at the woman draped all over him in utter disbelief. His hand drifted up to check the nail in his head. Perhaps it was giving him hallucinations.

"Hello," squealed the imaginary specimen of the opposite gender breathlessly. "I'm your swivelly chair. In fact – I'm an electric chair Weapon; called Shez."

"As in chaise longue?" She was heavy. She appeared to be real. His phantasms were usually more…violent.

"Yes. NO! Well, I mean, it could be…"

Stein blinked, and began to loosen the giant bolt that pierced his brain. He was clearly going to need a lower level of intelligence to deal with this girl.

She took a deep, calming breath and tried again. "Hi, my name is Shez Chesterfield, and…I'm in love with you." She gazed at him hopefully.

Bugger that, thought Stein; maybe he should just pull the screw out entirely.