Title: rewind and freeze
Summary: 'That…is the most disturbing thing I've ever seen…'
Pairing: Established Eruka/Free
Length: 343
Author: Pilly. It's Pippin flavoured jelly :D
A/N: I was bullied into this. For serious. My babies were held hostage ;__;

Sometimes Free got the feeling that Eruka was keeping things from him. Huge things, the kind of things that could make or break a relationship!

(Yes he had been watching chick flicks again but that was beside the point.)

The point, no matter how vague, was that he was a concerned werewolf.

Very concerned.

So, like all self respecting men, he turned to the one source of knowledge he'd know would never let him down.

Television.

His beloved 72" HD plasma flickered to life, the surround sound humming and the blue ray player eagerly awaiting his next choice of film – that is if the many gaming consoles didn't distract him first.

(No, he was not compensating.

At all…

Shut up!)

However today he was on a mission, he flicked through the channels – only stopping occasionally when anything caught his interest, the buzz of random dialogue pounding out his speakers.

"Don't leave me-"

"-You macho potato!"

"500 points from Griffindor~"

"FLY! FLY MY PRETTIES!"

"-and the bullfrog then mates with-"

"Is that a rabbit in your pants or are you just happy to-"

Free flicked back a channel, positive he'd heard the word 'frog' somewhere in his escapades – and his suspicions proved accurate, a large picture of his beloved's animal filled his screen.

Free snuggled down into the couch, this would be educational – he could tell.

"­The bullfrog has the ability to change its sex, often this skill is used when-"

The immortal felt the colour drain from his face but the horrific torture didn't end there.

"When young, tadpoles often resort to cannibalism and eat there brothers and sisters in or-" The TV was switched off, the sudden silence bizarrely comforting.

"Free? I'm home!" Eruka burst into the sitting room, not noticing the horrified expression on her boyfriends face.

"…Eruka…" he croaked (no pun intended) staring as she set about clearing away last nights popcorn, "are you…a man?"

The witch straightened up, lighting flashed and thunder rolled in the sky.

Needless to say Free was on the couch for a very long time.

A/N: you cannot make this stuff up XD