Misplaced Memories
For love, there is a moment, that moment of crystal, clear heat that sears through your skin- that defining point in the relationship when you decide whether you allow the flames to envelope your entire being….or smolder into smoke. For Benjamin Hartford, that moment passed him by over four decades ago. That moment when he stepped on the train and the sparkle of her blue eyes and the gold of her hair disappeared, there was heaviness in his heart as the embers crackle and died.
Help someone find what they have lost.
Clary wasn't exactly the most punctual person in the world. I was the lure of her super warm and comfy bed that limited her mobility. Her alarm went on for ten minutes until her mother stormed in and pulled back the blinds. Her morning ended up with her running down the street, shoving a bagel in her mouth. She slowed n front of a pair of clear, glass doors. She ran a hand through her hair, trying to make it a bit more presentable and brushed the crumbs off of her face.
"Clary, you're late." Dorothea's voice cut like steel. Clary faked a smile,
"Sorry…you know those darn trains!" Dorothea just stared at her dubiously. She slid a sheet towards her.
"Sign in, Mr. Hartford is very anxious to see you." Clary scribbled her name on the volunteer sign in sheet and started down the hall. He was in his bed reading and smiled as he glanced up.
"Hey Ben!" Clary sighed as she set down her bag.
"Missed the alarm didn't you Clary Sage?" He smiled knowingly. Clary grinned.
"You know me too well. What's the story today?" He set down the book.
"How are you with romance?" He drew out the "o". Clary raised her eyebrows.
"Not really relevant in my life." She said, fighting the blush as for some reason, Jace's name popped into her head. Ben chuckled.
"I'm sure I am worse than you were. I was fresh out of school, inexperienced in jobs, in love but that changed on a hot, sweltering August day…
0 – 0 – 0 – 0
Ben grunted as he lifted the box up, gasping. It was the last of the packages for today thankfully and he was ready to enjoy a cool glass of lemonade. Another chorus of Elvis's "Jailhouse Rock" played with that familiar static to it from the jukebox of the Glass Diner.
"Hey Hartford! Dora's callin' ya in for a shake!" Tony's voice filtered through the door. Ben grinned and adjusted him shirt, sticky with sweat as he walked in. Dora slid a chocolate milkshake to him.
"Fear you're gonna have a heatstroke out there Ben, now drink up before you really do!" He took a sip, relishing in the sudden coldness and sweetness that flooded his mouth. Her shakes were the best.
"Thanks Ms. Dora." She nodded approvingly.
"How's the job hunt going?" Ben sighed.
"None of the papers are hiring. No one needs a small town grad to work with them." Dora gave him a stern look as she polished a piece of silverwork.
"I don't want to hear that kinda talk from you. Maybe journalism isn't your thing, maybe you outta look up some of those big shot companies. I get customers in here every day." Ben had to hide a smile, imagining Dora, with her coercive nature having a pleasant conversation with the suits.
"Thanks for the advice Ms. Dora but I really do think writing is what I want to do in this world." Dora nodded.
"Then may you have luck finding a job then." She went of to see to other customers. Ben sipped his shake. The bells to the door rang, he didn't turn around to see who it was, it rang so often that the high pitch often made his head hurt.
"Ms. Davenport! How's your father doing?" Ben turned around and saw her. She was the brightest, most beautiful thing he had ever seen with her rich, golden hair pinned back with the rest hanging in curls over her shoulder and her blue eyes sparkling. She waltzed in, her bright, yellow sundress catching the eye of every guy in the diner. She stood at the diner, her fingers drumming out a random rhythm.
"Pretty good Ms. Dora….company's givin' him a bunch of stress though." Dora pursed er lips and shook her head.
"Tell him not to strain himself, be mindful of his age. Arrogance is a man's weakness and I should know." She laughed and it was the most beautiful music Ben had ever heard.
"I'll be sure to keep that in mind."
"Good now what are you here for child?"
"Just came to ask if my brother was in, father's go to have him look over a proposal."
"That fancy lawyer of yours? Hmm he came in earlier, acting so high and mighty. I had to say Donald Davenport, I've known you since you couldn't hold a spoon, don't be throwin' those big words around and looking down on me!" The girl rolled her eyes.
"Sorry for the trouble Ms. Dora. Do you figure where he went?"
"Probably down by the gas station with those friends of his." The girl sighed.
"Thanks Dora…I'll be going now."
"Wait!" The girl spun at the sound of her voice. "Your father's looking for extra hands right?" She nodded. "Well I know a guy, he's well read, hard working determined…" Ben's stomach churned with dread, surely she couldn't be talking about- "…just fresh out of college and he's sitting right in this room!"The girl looked around.
"Really?" Her voice betraying her interest. "where?"
"Why, right next to ya!" Suddenly Ben could feel her blue eyes fixate on him. Maybe it was just the heat but his neck felt a lot warmer. "Ben, meet Daisy." Ben held out a shaky hand.
"It's a pleasure ma'am." Her eyes narrowed a bit but then she shook his hand.
"Pleasure's all mine. I'm Daisy Davenport."
"Benjamin Hartford." Her hand felt so smooth and was a great contrast to his calloused palms. She nodded.
"Well I have to get going but it was a pleasure to meet you Mr. Hartford, Ms. Dora." She smiled at him and Lord, it was a beautiful smile. Ben sighed as he sat back.
"Dora…I'm gonna marry that girl."
"Christ Almighty, don't get ahead of yourself Ben. If your head's too far up in the clouds you might come crashing down."
0 – 0 – 0 – 0
"Wow….Ben's looking to settle?" Clary laughed incredulously. He gave her a mocking look.
"Hey it was a different time back then, no kinda one night stands for us." His Southern accent came in and out. Clary calmed down.
"So you knew she was the one seconds after you met her?" Ben sighed.
"Oh yes, I have an eye for these kinda things. She was the most wonderful person I ever met. Don't you know how it feels? That spark that once you see that person you can't let them go?" He grinned as Clary glanced away. "That has to be the second time that you blushed today Clary Sage…what's going on?" Clary snorted.
"Don't be ridiculous Ben."
"Alright, alright…you don't have to tell me know but I'm just saying this fella has to be someone to make Clarissa Fray blush." Clary rolled her eyes.
"Just go on with the story." Ben chuckled.
"Daisy referred me to her father and he called me into his office, wanted to me to work as his assistant."
"Wow that was quick." Ben shook his head.
"Mr. Davenport was the most dependant person I've ever met. I swear he couldn't even wipe his own behind. I delivered his breakfast, I wrote up all of his contracts, I made his bed, I cut up his flipping steak…"
"Was Daisy there?" Clary asked.
"Always, she always thanked me. She said that she knew her father was sometimes a bit to handle but she was so grateful for me to be there…" He got a glazed over look on his face.
"Hey Romeo!" Clary snapped her fingers, "snap out of it!"
"Right, I ate with her during me free lunch and most of the time we had dinner. When it was warm, we went for walks in her family garden. Now that garden was like a jungle. There were marble benches and columns, even a fountain. But they were all covered with flowers. Gosh there were so many flowers, marigolds, violets, prim roses….
0 – 0 – 0 – 0
"…orchids, lilies, hyacinths…" Daisy's voice trailed off as she looked around dreamily. The warm breeze of the evening rustled some of the greenery. Daisy and Ben rested on a stone bench, listening to the flow of the fountain.
"That's quite impressive Ms. Daisy." She looked at him.
"My name's Daisy…the miss part just got added when the doctor saw I was a girl." Ben ducked his head.
"Sorry Daisy…" She laughed.
"So apologetic for the smallest things Ben…it's alright!"
"This is where you got your name from?" He said, looked at all the clusters of yellow bloom that adorned the arch above them.
"Yep…my mama loved working on them. They're so pretty." Ben nodded in agreement and gently rubbed a petal, feeling its silkiness. "You're not going to pick one are you?" Daisy's sharp voice interrupted the peace.
"Well I figure I ought not to since it's so important to your mom and your family and all."
"Thank you Ben, I appreciate that. You know that one guy picked a rose and tried to put it in my hair? A rose for the love of Christ and one of my family's!" She shook her head.
"Your father's already sending suitors?" Ben felt his stomach twist at the thought. His affection for Daisy had grown these months and now she was to be paired off with some rich fella.
"Just snooty, arrogant, little boys." She sighed. She got up and walked around, feeling the leaves brush her skin. "They're rather annoying really but father insists."
"Well what do you want to do?" Ben inquired. She grinned at him.
"Me? I want to travel, go everywhere, London, Paris, Greece, Venice…" She tossed a handful of fallen leaves in the air and twirled around in their falling forms. "Just think of it, dancing on the Eiffel Tower…riding a gondola…kissing a handsome Grecian boy on the shores of the beach.." She giggled.
"Daisy!" Ben admonished.
"It would be wonderful, adventure, exploration…" She sighed and looked around. "One day, if we ever get the chance…will you come with me Benjamin?" Ben was shocked, Daisy almost never used his full name. "Travel with me, I want you to experience these things with me." Ben smiled.
"Of course." He promised, although both of them knew they probably never would.
"Thank you." She whispered. She leaned in and He was surrounded by the scent of flowers. That was the only thing he could register before she pressed her lips against his.
0 – 0 – 0 – 0
"Oh don't make that face; I know you teenagers have done more than that!" Clary laughed.
"Did you ever get to go on those trips with her pops?" He sighed.
"No…it's the only thing I regret."
"What happened?" Ben sighed.
"Life."
0 – 0 – 0 – 0
Life was in the form of John Clark. He was smooth, handsome and rich but worst of all…he was betrothed to Daisy.
"How dare they? It's so-so old fashioned!" She raged. Her pale cheeks flaming with anger. Ben sighed.
"You know your parents; they're always so old fashioned." Daisy growled in frustration. Ben smiled as he brought her in, his arms wrapped around her waist. She leaned her head against his shoulder.
"Why mist they force me? Why can't they see what I want for once?" Her voice was muffled by Ben's throat. He kissed her forehead.
"They're just looking out for you. They want to make sure that your future is financially secure."
"I should decide that, I can take care of myself." She growled.
"And I don't doubt that for a second love, but maybe you should talk to John," Ben's throat tightened as he said this, "find out what's so appealing that your parents don't see in me." Daisy's gentle hands pulled his face down so that he was staring into her eyes.
"They see the one thing that doesn't matter- money while every time I look at John Clark I see the most important thing." Ben leaned his forehead against hers.
"What's that?"
"He isn't you." She silenced all responses with just her lips.
0 – 0 – 0 – 0
"What? So what happened? He couldn't have just married her? Daisy has more guts than that!" Clary cried.
"Just sit down and I'll tell you." Ben placated her.
0 – 0 – 0 – 0
Apparently her father could see how defiant she was getting and he had his suspicions about me. He didn't fire me though, having grown too used to be overwhelming presence in his lazy life. But when he saw that his daughter refused to marry his chosen…that's when he drew the line.
"I want you to leave." Ben furrowed his eyebrows, his hands slick on the leather chair he sat in.
"Sir, what do you mean?"
"I know how you feel about my daughter…and how my daughter feels about you and she cannot have that kind of distraction in her life." Ben hardened, he valued his job but he was not going to let this man intimidate him into leaving Daisy.
"I'm sorry sir but I love Daisy and I'm afraid I'm here to stay whether you like it or not." Mr. Davenport sat back.
"I do not think for a second that you do not care for her my dear boy but if you would just think of her for a second. Sure you love her now but what about the future? Wedlock is expected of her and how will you provide? These several months you have been working with me doing the most mundane tasks…"
"That's not exactly my fault…" Ben thought.
"…how do you expect to give her everything she wants? The life of luxury that she deserves?" Ben gulped feeling the sharp needles of doubt pierce his mind. "Did you honestly think that this would end well? That you and Daisy would get married and ride off together? I thought of you as a much smarter man that that Benjamin. You two have no future together, there is no chance."
Ben hung his head, he was right. There was no way he could afford even half of Daisy's wardrobe, how could he afford her life? She belonged up here, with the rest of the elite because she was better than him, better than us all.
"I'm offering something very generous Mr. Hartford, a paid internship at one of my firms in London with all travel expenses paid. I like to care for my workers." Ben knew it had nothing to do with care, he just wanted him out of sight, out of mind.
"What about Daisy?" He suddenly said, "won't she be looking for me? Wondering?" Mr. Davenport smiled at him.
"Young love is only as powerful as it is in the moment. Soon it will fade and as will the sting. Daisy will be well taken care of and fulfill her role as a wife and mother. Do not worry Mr. Harford, I will take care of her." Ben closed his eyes. He felt his heart ripping. He had to do this, he couldn't let Daisy down. He couldn't let her lose herself with him, her life with him.
"I'll take your offer." He said quietly.
"You've made a very smart choice."
0 – 0 – 0 – 0
"No Ben…." Clary groaned. Ben smiled sadly.
"My other biggest regret….I left without a word. Saying goodbye would only drive Daisy to make me stay and…I would have for her."
"Where did you go?"
"After my internship…everywhere, London, Paris, Greece, Rome…I toured all of Europe and Asia. I broke her promise, I didn't take her along." He sighed.
"Did you try to find her?"
"When I got back, her father's banks had failed and shut down. They moved and no one knew where. I looked but…I couldn't find any traces of her."
"Clary? Your mother's here to pick you up." Dorothea's voice came from the doorway.
"Right, I'll be right there thanks." Ben gripped her hand.
"Clary if you find that someone, don't let them go, not for all of the money in the world alright?" Clary sighed and leaned down and gave him a peck on the cheek.
"Bye pops, I'll see you next time."
Clary sat in the car with her mother, her fingers playing with the paper. Help someone find what they lost….
"Hey mom? If you lost someone special to you…what would you do?" Her mother kept her eyes fixed on the road.
"Well if I lost you I would ever stop looking for you….even if years passed. That's what people do for people they love." Clary sighed. Her fingers dialing his number already.
"Hello?"
0 – 0 – 0 – 0
"Where are you taking me Clary?"
"Calm down pops, I'm not going to murder you." Clary laughed. She rolled his wheelchair down the street. Technically she wasn't supposed to be going this but what's life without a bit of rule breaking?
"I don't know, I'm blindfolded and can't see anything, this is what I call being a victim of a scheming mind."
"Me? How dare you?" Clary gasped mockingly. She pulled up to the door, wheeling him in. The high pitched sound of the silver bell made Ben hold his breath.
"Benjamin?" That voice…the voice he hadn't heard in so many years. He ripped off the blindfold. She was there, it wasn't a dream. Her hair was white but still, it fell at her shoulders. Her skin was wrinkled now; aging with her but her eyes still didn't lose their blue strictness. Jace stood behind me, catching Clary's gaze.
"W-what are you doing here Daisy?" Ben asked in bewilderment.
"This young man here told me of the Glass Diner's anniversary ceremony but instead I found…" She trailed off. Clary cleared her throat.
"Uhmm….hi Ms. Davenport I was actually the one who did all of this. Jace is my friend and he was helping me do all of this because…" Clary sighed, "because I want to undo all of pop's regrets." Daisy smiled faintly.
"How did you find me?"
"You were easy to look up." It was Jace who spoke this time, "you were in the New York City phone book but your name was under Clark…"
"You married him?" Ben gasped.
"What was I supposed to do Ben? You just left without saying a word, you abandoned me!"
"Because I knew I couldn't be there for you! I didn't have the money, the manners- ugh! God your father was right-"
"My father? What did he say?" He could see the tears welling up in her eyes, "did he tell you, you were such a poor, pitiful person who couldn't get over the slightest heart break? Did you cry nightly because you were just wondering, just hoping that the person you loved would come back? That's what I was doing Ben, I don't care what my father said, you left me!"
"I couldn't give you the life you deserved," Ben said quietly, "the life of luxury." There was silence as Daisy shook her head.
"You silly, silly man…it figures you would be so dumb to freak out over something I barely care about." She sighed. "I married John Clark and I've had three beautiful children with him and now 7 even more stunning grandchildren. I loved my late husband with everything that I was capable of he was a good man and a good father but I saw the most important thing when I looked at him." Ben smiled.
"What was that?"
"He wasn't you." Ben wheeled himself next to her and held her and, relishing in its feel. This reunion had been 40 years too late but at least it was here. Jace wheeled out a projector.
"Your second surprise of the night pops." Clary grinned as she turned on the slide show. Images began to show, the Eiffel Tower, the Coliseum, the water filled canals of Venice…all of the world right in that one room.
Ben lifted her hand and kissed her weathered knuckles. "I did promise you."
"I love you." She whispered.
"I love you too." Together they allowed themselves to be lost in the world. Clary stood in the back corner with Jace, smiling. She could feel his hand cautiously brush hers before gripping it.
"I think you're starting to realize what it means." He whispered in her ear. She turned around and wrapped her arms around his neck, his hands gripped her hips.
"You think?" She whispered. His breath caught as she gently brushed her lips against his before kissing him, smelling his minty scent.
"Friday at seven?" He whispered. She smiled.
"I'm there." They untangled themselves from each other, keeping only their fingers interlocked.
"Clary?" Ben called. She walked over.
"What is it pops?" He looked back at Jace.
"Don't let him go." Clary laughed.
"How do you know?" He winked.
"I have an eye for these kinda things."
Here's a long chapter! Sorry I haven't been updating as often as I'd like but here it is. I haven't really used OCs that much so please tell me what you think of them. Boo-KK-AM, that's a great idea but I think it's too early in the fic for their relationship yet but I will definitely keep the idea in mind. At all of you who thought Jace is a stalker….I might actually put him outside her apartment just to humor you all but yea he does have some stalkerish tendencies but he's just Jace. I hope you enjoyed the chapter, thanks for reading!