"Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don't be afraid."
― Frederick Buechner
Postman's Park
Cour·age [kur-ij, kuhr-] noun 1. the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc., bravery. Clary never considered herself as "courageous". She was always scared of something, a consequence or a risk she'd have to face. She read of heroines in books, with their giant standoff with their enemies or their fears- the rush of adrenaline and pure insanity that brought them through it, that helped them conquer their fear. Except fear isn't a country, you can't plant a flag on it and "conquer" it. It's not a tangible thing, it is hidden in the dark recesses if your mind, in the places you are most afraid to look for. Maybe that's why it's so frightening.
Bravery is just as essential, if not the same as kindness; honor the random acts of bravery in the world.
"Think about the history of the world, the wars, the revolutions, the changes...people were willing to give up their entire way of life to do what they believe in. The Haitian Revolution, the Underground Railroad, the Civil Rights Movement and so on..." Imogene cried to the room of high school seniors. Most of them just blinked blearily at her. She stiffened and breathed in deeply. Why did she choose high school again? "Even today, the Egyptians in Tahrir Square...what people are capable of...it's shocking."
Clary bit her lip as she thought about this, the masses of people that would give up everything for an idea. The masses are named, "the Revolutionaries" or "the Protesters" but the single individuals that sacrificed daily life for these things...she didn't know who they were. It wasn't necessarily anyone's fault; names and information have been lost in the folds of history. But still, Clary couldn't shake that thought out of her head. Clary wandered aimlessly among the stack of books before sighing and plopping down in front of a computer. Her fingers tapped lightly on the keyboards, not sure of what to type. She bit her lip and straightened up. Acts of courage...
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"So are you guys...talking?" Isabelle asked as she shifted her bag.
Clary shrugged, sketching out a map of Central Park. Ever since Jace's big confession...their communication had been minimal. It wasn't that Clary didn't like him or anything...she just didn't know how to talk to him about it. "I don't even know what we are." Clary admitted as she marked on side of the park."I guess that's just something I need to figure out along the way."
"So how are you going to get the information?" Clary sighed as she pulled out a giant stack of construction paper. "Everyone has to have been courageous once in their life. All I have to do is ask around."
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Sophie jerked the key in with one quick motion of her hand. Don't think, just go. The mantra played in her head over and over again. But she found her fingers still clutching the key, frozen in the stop. She pressed her fingers hard, leaving rectangular imprints on her flesh. She closed her eyes and tried to stop the shaky breathing and heavy weight that seemed to suddenly appear on her chest. Deep breaths Sophie...you can do this.
She couldn't stop the sound of crunching metal and the smell of smoke. She could see herself zooming through the streets at an uncontrollable speed and suddenly she felt the ground shift underneath her seat. She gasped and gripped the steering wheel with both hands, feeling pins and needles stab her nerves in protest.
Suddenly, the car door opened and warm hands were pulling her out of that death trap and into the frigid air. The cold snapped her limbs to attention and they were suddenly working again. He cradled Sophie against his chest, gently rocking her soothingly in the middle of the street. She didn't even notice she was crying until a blistering wind blew by and hither wet cheeks. She hid her face and wiped her tears on his t-shirt. His fingers subconsciously rubbed the angry, scar she had over her face, made by one of those things. She refused to look back at the car. Sophie knew that people were probably staring at the right now but she could care less. All she wanted to do was get the feeling back into her fingers, stop the pain.
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"Got on a plane to fly halfway across the world to go to the tomato festival."
"Burst randomly into song in a mall"
"Read a passage in class."
"Eat my wife's cooking."
"Eat my husband's baking."
"Saved a dog from the pound."
"Trust someone with a secret."
"Stand up to bullies at school."
Clary flexed her fingers, feeling the tensed muscles relax as she put the marker down. There were so many people with so any brave acts with something as small as raising your hand in class to as big as protesting animal abuse in front of the building. She shoved the papers in her locker and slammed the door, ready to go home. "
Uhmm...Clary?" Clary spun around to see Sophie. She was a quiet, British girl in her class who moved here a few months ago. She never really talked much, just looked down and used her long hair to cover the scar she had on her face.
"Hey Sophie, what's up?" Sophie took a breath and straightened her shoulders. "I heard you were collecting acts of bravery." Clary nodded slowly. "Well how about another one...with me."Clary whipped out a marker and a new piece of construction paper.
"What is it?"Sophie bit her lip. "That's the problem...it hasn't been done yet...and I want you to do it with me."
Sophie took a breath as she squeezed the wheel, ignoring the confused look of Clary in the passenger seat.
"I don't understand why are we just-"
"I'm scared- no terrified actually to drive. Just the thought of being on the road sends crawling sensations down my back."
"You don't have to do this." Clary said softly.
Sophie shut her eyes and shook her head. "No...no, you don't know what happened to me so it's better that you're here and I need for someone to see that I was able to do this...that I am able to do this."
"Are you sure you're ready?" Clary asked gently.
Sophie laughed breathlessly. "I've been in therapy for months...I should be able to do this...I just- I should be able to."
"O-okay...it's okay, just breath, just breath." Clary coached, watching Sophie close her eyes and inhale and exhale, her fingers loosened and twitched on the wheel. "Okay, just slide the key into position." Sophie slid the key in, trying not to cringe at the rough, scraping sound it made. "And turn it." Sophie closed her eyes and in one swift movement, jerked her hand around and resisted screaming at the low rumble of the car starting. "Do you know how to drive?" Clary asked.
Sophie tried to focus on her voice. "Y-yea...my dad taught me."
"Okay...that's good, just keep talking to me."
Sophie's hand automatically adjusted the stick shift, just as her father had showed her multiple times. Gently Soph, this controls the car's movements, you need to be gentle like with a baby. "He had a beautiful blue Jag that he restored himself. My dad- he loved cars. He loved the parts and the smell and the oil. He wanted an auto body shop but my mom wasn't all for that idea." Sophie laughed; it was high and reedy as she placed her foot over the accelerator.
"Careful, don't push too hard." Clary warned but Sophie jammed her foot on and the car shot two feet before Sophie screamed and slammed on the brakes; bringing the car to a screeching halt. Sophie laughed breathlessly while Clary tried to regain her breath. "Did you see that? I drove the car!" Sophie laughed, "I actually drove it."
"In theory..." Clary mumbled as she rubbed the sore spot when the seat belt tugged at her.
"I can't believe it after the accident..." Sophie glanced over at Clary's curious expression and sighed. "My parents and I were driving back from a play and it was raining and it was dark and well...I guess you can tell what happened next." She took in Clary's horrified expression. "My parents didn't make it and I gained this scar that night. But I can't believe I finally drove...I didn't think I'd ever be able to..."Sophie shook her head in disbelief.
"Well there is one more brave thing you can do." Clary fiddled with her camera. "I need to take a picture of people who did the deeds and you don't have to do this but it'd be nice if you did..." Sophie hesitated before smiling.
"When do I say cheese?"
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Clary taped the last paper to the spiny backbone of the black, wrought fence.
Sophie Collins
Overcoming her past and fears, now her past fears, and finally driving a car for the first time
"There's a park in London called the Postman's Park." Clary stilled at the sound of his voice. "Where they honor heroic sacrifices and bravery."
"Acts of bravery are just as important as acts of kindness." Clary said softly.
"I know which is why I made this."
Clary Fray
Overcame a bad day by inspiring kindness in the world
He taped the green construction paper and turned back to look at her. "Now it's complete." They stood next to each other in silence for a while. Clary clenched her hands. Be brave, Clary.
"I don't know how this works." She blurted out. "I'm not sure how to be a good girlfriend or even how to tell if you're a good boyfriend. I've never done this type of thing before and-and what if it doesn't work out? What if we just break up and never speak to each other again? I'm scared that will happen."
Jace exhaled. "I've never done this thing either. This is new to me to but I just go along with it, make stuff up along the way...that's the best way to do it." He smiled at her. "Just don't force anything. Just be natural with me. That's all I really want- someone that's real."
He took her hand and rubbed her soft skin, relishing in the warmth while a cool breeze blew by, fluttering the colorful pieces of paper with the stories of untold bravery amongst ordinary people.
"We believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another."- Veronica Roth
A/N: Postman's Park is an actual park in London and they do honor heroic sacrifice there. I wanted to model this chapter after that and show that courage exists in ordinary people as well (those deeds...they actually came from people I know- who knew your Spanish teacher would fly to Spain to go to the tomato festival?)
To answer toocoolforbeth's question- I do live in New York, in Brooklyn and I always love going into the city.
So Jace and Clary's "official relationship" is starting. What did you think? I hope you liked this chapter and thanks for reading!