Oh my gosh, what is this. lol.

Anyway, the adventures of Tobirama, Mariko, with Hashirama and Mito...and their buggy problems.

This sort of deviated from just Tobirama and Mariko, but that doesn't really matter. We'll get back to it. XD

Disclaimer: I obviously do not own Naruto. If you read this story, you'll see why.

Chapter 10: A Bug's World

Mariko hated bugs. The sight of any creepy crawlies sent her either screaming, hauling ass out of the room, throwing things at it, or a combination of the three. If Tenzou the stray cat didn't eat it or smash it accidentally while playing with it, the nearest man was tasked to killing the poor crawler. Multiple, skinny legs with long feeler antennae weren't Mariko's thing. Hashirama remembered several times when Tobirama was not present, and a screaming blunette had dragged him into the kitchen to kill a spider. On Mariko's defense, Hashirama had to admit that that sucker was a big-ass spider, but every time? If someone ever screamed at night, Hashirama wondered if he would sleep through it thinking if it was just Mariko again, and not some crazy Kiri nin come to kill them all.

It certainly didn't help that there was a centipede on the wall, slithering along at a leisurely pace, its hundred legs lifting in a wave like motion. One long feeler swept along its front legs, as if mocking them. Centipedes were fast, and this one seemed to be cackling at their slowness.

The main four of the Senju household—Hashirama, Mito, Tobirama, and Mariko—were having a nice breakfast, when Mito got up from her chair to replenish the plates with food, and revealed the wall behind her.

Mariko was silent for a total of five seconds, the only sound from her seat a sharp clattering of utensils against china. Both men turned briefly to see what was wrong. Mariko's eyes went wide, and her mouth opened. The two Senju men whipped around to see the centipede, and just as Mariko began to yell at them, they lunged for it.

The centipede seemed to rub its little buggy hands at them, before dashing off at what seemed like Flying Thunder God speed. It sped along the wall and nimbly crawled onto the ceiling—Shinobi Centipede.

"KILL IT!" cried Mariko, scrambling from her seat and skittering away from wherever the centipede happened to go.

Shinobi Centipede abruptly dropped from the ceiling and began weaving around on the floor in a frenzied motion. It was so fast, Tobirama wondered if the creature was using some sort of Time-Space jutsu. Every time Hashirama clapped a wood staff down on it, the many-legged bug popped up somewhere else.

"KILL IT WITH FIRE!" Mariko yelled now, despite knowing that none of them were Katon users.

Shinobi Centipede leapt onto the cabinets. It wiggled up the wall with ninja-like stealth, slipping between cracks to avoid Hashirama's deadly wood staff. Tobirama conjured up a blob of water and continually chucked it at the crawler. He continually missed.

Shinobi Centipede must have used a replacement jutsu, because all that was left was a charred area (charred?) along the cupboards, while the bug itself ran up to the kitchen counter without a problem.

"GET A HYUUGA OR SOMETHING!" Mariko screamed, tugging at Mito's sleeve. Mito sighed and rolled her eyes, exasperated. What did the blunette expect? For a Hyuuga to come in and Gentle Fist: Eight Trigrams Sixty-four Palms it?

(To be honest, Mito could actually admit that she could picture one of the younger Hyuuga boys coming in, yelling "Hakke Rokujyuuyon Shou!" and stabbing repeatedly at the stupid centipede.)

"GET KAGAMI. FIRE." Mariko ducked behind Mito when the centipede reached their end of the kitchen counter.

"Get that thing off my counter," Mito said, raising a frying pan. The men wondered why she didn't just smack it dead. Well, Mito intended to do just that, but as the pan came down with an ear-ringing clang, the Minato Bug relocated without use of any Flying Thunder God seals, and continued scurrying along the next wall.

Yondaime Centipede scuttled out the door and disappeared.

"Is it gone?" asked Mariko.

"It's gone," Tobirama confirmed.

"Good," Mariko sighed, emerging from behind the folds of Mito's robe. Mito patted her head and sighed again.

"Can we get back to breakfast? Hashi has one of those council meetings today," she said, gesturing to the table. They all nodded and made their way back to the food…

To find that the food was gone.

Outside, one crazy Uchiha and his slightly less insane brother rejoiced at their meal, the loopy older one leaping in the air whilst dragging his blind younger sibling along.

"Mito's cooking is the best, Izuna," he sang.

"I know." Okay, much more sane brother.

"Have you tried it?"

"I have."

"Here!"

"…I can't see where it is, Madara. Besides, you dropped the sausage."

"Izuna, I thought you couldn't see it?"

"I can hear. And I can smell." Izuna nodded thoughtfully, scratching his forehead that was sort of irritated by the bandage wrapped around his not present eyes. His older brother paused, rubbing his chin. Madara had allowed a bit of stubble grow, and was now living in the outskirts of Konoha like a madman. It was only a matter of time until he snapped and tried to steal Mito…or something.

"Wasn't I genius, Izuna?"

"Of course, brother. That was brilliant."

Madara grinned at the bug he'd named Obitopede. He was rather fond of it, seeing as the deft little centipede seemed to be able to warp and avoid attacks. It was like things just slipped through him!

"One day, I'll have a kid named Obito, and I'll make him look just like me. Like father, like son," Madara said to himself. His brother, with his now heightened hearing, heard this, and highly doubted that Madara would ever have a child, unless one magically fell from the sky and conveniently wanted to follow Madara's crazy goals.

Oh Izuna, if only you knew.

"He took it, didn't he?" Tobirama muttered. "That dang bug."

"That's not possible, Tobi," Hashirama reasoned. He was tempted to agree with his younger brother, but repeated convinced himself that if he did so, he would step away from his sanity and delve into the realm of Tobirama.

"It so is." Tobirama pointed at the table. "It's all a conspiracy. An army of ninja centipedes from Crawly-gakure just raided us, and we didn't even see them."

"That's not possible," Hashirama reiterated firmly.

"It is. Or, Madara ordered the Kyuubi to order Kiri ninja to order Crawly-gakure to order Madara to order the Second Mizukage (who hates me) to order Sparky the Raikage to try and steal Hyuuga secrets, who then ordered us to order a defense against Kumogakure, they they ordered Madara to turn on us, and so Madara ordered Crawly-gakure (the village that was trying to order Madara around) to send a raid against our breakfast."

Tobirama nodded.

Mariko murmured something that sounded vaguely like "inception".

"First off, that made even less sense," Hashirama explained, "and Madara doesn't take orders from people."

"Yes, but it was his order that caused it all in the first place!" Tobirama returned.

"Madara-ception."

"Exactly!"

"Okay, that doesn't even sound right," Mito cut in, running a tired hand through her signature red hair.

"I just want my breakfast," Hashirama groaned, sinking down into his chair and putting his head in his hands. Mito busied herself with making some more food, hopefully a meal that would remain on the table this time, without interruptions. Tobirama continued his conspiracy theory at the expense of Mariko, who drew her knees up to her chest and warily casted glances in all directions, waiting for Yellow Flash Centipede to return at any moment.

"So in the end, it was a crazy Kiri nin," Tobirama finished.

"I thought it was Madara," Mariko commented, peeking under the table to make sure nothing was crawling towards her ninja-style along the bottom.

"But it was," Tobirama told her.

"Just stop it, already," Mito moaned, setting down more food. She brushed her hands on her apron and sent a bone-chilling glare at Tobirama, who only shrugged. Hashirama envied his ignorance; usually both he and his younger brother cringed at such a look, but it seemed like this time Mito's glare lacked some of the power behind it.

"Can we have Tenzou the cat eat it?" Mariko asked.

"That's a great idea," Hashirama sighed, now worried more about being late to his council meeting rather than the Minato Bug and Tobirama's crazy stories. "I'll go see if he's in his tree on my way out."

"Noah the Tree? You still talk to him?" Tobirama asked, laughing. He almost choked on his lemonade, and Mariko patted him on the back lightly.

"I do not." Hashirama tried to end the conversation.

"You named the tree?" Mariko grinned.

"I was told he talked to it when he was younger," Mito added. A slight flush appeared on Hashirama's face, and the group snickered. He shook his head and stood up.

"I'm going," Hashirama stated simply, stalking out the door.

"At least the bug's gone," Tobirama muttered, cleaning up the dishes with Mariko, who began to rinse them in the sink.

"Mariko, you haven't said anything. I think we can say that you basically lost our breakfast," Mito said jokingly.

"I'm telling you, it was a crazy Kiri nin." Mariko's face was dead serious, hands frozen in the middle of washing dishes, staring straight at Mito. "I swear."

"See?" Tobirama emphasized.

"Okay, sure, Kiri nin."

"No, Mito, it was Madara!"

Minato glanced between Biwako, the Third, and his wife. Kushina poked him under the table, as if telling him he needed to calm down. But how could he calm down when there was a huge-ass centipede staring at him from the opposite wall? The Yellow Flash swore it was watching him.

When Hiruzen and his wife left, a very pregnant Kushina in tow, Minato faced off with the bug. It took up a big fat square tile on his decoratively tiled kitchen wall, and it looked old and wise. How Minato could tell this from looking at a bug, he didn't know. It obviously wasn't born that size, so he assumed it had grown. It rubbed its front hands together deviously.

"Gotcha!" Minato slapped a large jar over the bug. He clearly saw it inside the jar, but then there was a weird distortion of space, and it was on the next square over. "…the hell?"

He tried again, but this time, he was nowhere near catching the bug, because it pretty much teleported every time he got close to it.

"I give up," he exclaimed, throwing his hands up. The Fourth Hokage put the jar down and went back to his room to study the scrolls detailing Uzushiogakure-based seals. He had to prepare for his son's birth and keeping the Kyuubi inside of Kushina, not waste time catching a Shinobi Centipede.

Obito watched Kakashi talk to Rin's grave. He saw his old teammate's jaw moving under his mask, but couldn't hear the words he said. When the wind calmed down, the few things he heard were Kakashi mentioning Minato-sensei's son being born soon, and how he had to go tell Obito—or rather, Obito's memorial.

How ironic.

Obito stood shortly after Kakashi left, making his way down the rows of headstones to Rin's. Kakashi had brought fresh flowers, which swayed gently in the breeze now.

Obito noticed something dark in the flowers. It was rather big, visible even from a distance. The new "Uchiha Madara" bent down to look at it. It was Tobipede, the friendly centipede from Madara's lair. Swirly man and Zetsu swore to him its name was Obitopede, but Obito scoffed at that—for Madara to name a centipede, first of all, was just unlikely, and to have his name? That was just creepy…—and he named the bug Tobipede instead. After all, the Madara-old bug deftly escaped all dilemmas (he'd been crushed by a rock, but yet magically appeared again) and Obito felt he could relate to it, so he named it Tobi.

"What're you doing here?" Obito extended a finger, and it crawled up his arm. To be honest, the large, creepy crawly still gave him the chills, but he'd gotten a tad used to the centipedes gangly limbs and long body. It was nearly half the length of his arm.

No matter. Obito prepared to steal the Kyuubi.

Sasuke swore he saw a centipede the length of his body, sitting on the head of the huge summoning statue that they sealed tailed beasts in. Seriously.

"Did you see that?" he demanded harshly.

"See what?" drawled Suigetsu, who yawned in Sasuke's face.

"CENTIPEDE OH MY GOSH KILL IT WITH FIRE!" Karin screamed. Sasuke confirmed he was not hallucinating and prepared to spit a big fat fireball at the horrendous creature. However, his fireball was sucked away in a familiar spiral shape as the masked man Tobi, aka "Madara", appeared.

"WHY DID YOU DO THAT SASUKE WAS KILLING THE CENTIPEDE!" Karin squealed, her red hair flying about her head in her panic attack.

"I can't let you destroy the Gedo Mazo," was all Tobi offered. Actually, Tobi feared that Sasuke would burn Tobipede to a crisp. He shouldn't have worried, though.

After all, Shinobi Yondaime Minato Bug Tobitopede was capable of using Kamui and the Flying Thunder God technique. No problems, here.

Sometime before she died, Rin often stared out the window before realizing the time and running to the Konoha gates to make it in time to meet Kakashi and Minato-sensei for a mission.

One time, she saw a centipede, maybe the size of her hand, staring up at her from the windowsill.

She carefully shut the window so that it was sitting just outside her room, locked the window, and ran out her door.

Obitopede glanced down at Rin's team picture. It recalled its dear memories with Madara and Izuna in their youth, before Izuna died and Madara grew insanely old. Though Obitopede could not have said that itself was any younger.

Despite that, Obitopede scurried with the speed of a young Minato Bug, and hopped into the grass. It scared off the ants on the ant hill and the bees visiting their pollen-filled flowers. The silly honeybees buzzed frantically and their puffy little bodies zipped away. Obitopede continued.

It happened upon Team Minato (minus Obito) again, that night, eating a meal. It was one of those meager fish-from-stream and forest herb soups, and the three ate in a comfortable silence. Obitopede was surprised that the loud one (Gai) with the scarf had not tagged along. (This just meant that Obitopede hung around Konoha often, and witnessed several instances of "eternal rivalry" between Gai and Kakashi. Obitopede felt a tinge of remorse that it couldn't tell his good buddy Obito of these interesting stories.)

Kakashi's stomach growled, despite his grimace. Rin offered him seconds, and filled his plate, and then Minato's plate too. Obitopede watched them.

It recalled a time when it stole a delicious breakfast…

I hope that was somewhat amusing to you.

This just...yeah. I was thinking of the one time there was a centipede in my basement, so I screamed for my dad to kill it, and ran upstairs. There was one upstairs, and I screamed again, and went back into the basement, where a THIRD one was crawling along the wall. So I screamed.

And one other time, I screamed so much the centipede got scared (or something, maybe annoyed) and crawled back into the vent.

We got that entire-home bug protection/prevention stuff after that.

On a completely different note, my cat keeps trying to eat my cake, which makes me think "he'll get fat and have cavities!" which only reminds me of my horrible teeth and dentist visits - my family tends to get cavities easily... - and how I have to go back to get these cavities out. I think I have 7 little, but compared to what I had before when I was around 12, this is nothing. (No, seriously, I had nearly 12 at once...)

Uhhh...

OBITOPEDE IS COMING FOR US ALL.

It's the Juubi in disguise. XD