Chapter Five

Why Does This Always Happen to ME

As soon as he stopped, I gasped. I saw his mouth drop open. I saw every single flash of pain and long-term suffering he had endured. When we had gone out he had talked to me for hours. Most men, well generally most people, can't talk about how they feel but he was different. He had gone through this before, and now I was just going to make it worse. Then, when I couldn't have done anything stupider I had to make the biggest mistake and open my huge mouth.

"Brian, I know this i-" His head started shaking and, even though it shook the tiniest amount possible, I knew he wanted me to just stop. I understood why, I mean, it had only been a couple of months ago that Naomi had been Marked. It had torn him apart. She had just left him hanging there and forgot about him. To top it off she just gave up and never gave any explanation. That was what had brought us together in the first place, and it was probably why he opened up to me at all. He wasn't afraid that I would judge him because I had seen him like that before- open and vulnerable. He knew that I wouldn't do anything to hurt him intentionally. Of course unintentionally was another matter entirely.

He backed away from me slowly, and by that point I had all but forgotten that Jasmin was standing next to me. Although his face gave nothing away I could see that his eyes still retained the misery that he was trying so hard to hide. I wanted to reach out to him, but I knew he wouldn't want me to. He would probably flinch away from me. It would remind him too much of the first time I had, the first time he had been deserted, alone, and anxious.

With his eyes, intense in his state of pain, still locked on me- on the scarlet Mark that adorned my face- he simply turned and walked away. Okay, really it wasn't that simple, and he was more running than walking as he fled away from us. I couldn't believe that what had just happened. I had expected to tell him this later where he could grieve or cry or whatever but not here, not now. I was suddenly, outrageously aware that Jasmin was standing next to me with her mouth hanging open in the shape of an "O". Her eyes were boring into mine but I didn't have the strength to turn my gaze away from the spot where Brian had been standing. I might have had the same look on my face, but I couldn't feel anything- I was frozen. My entire body had gone numb and I had probably gone into shock or had a heart attack. Anything would have been better then facing Brian.

All I wanted to do was collapse on the cold concrete and cry. It was a great plan but I didn't know how much time had passed and I didn't want to get caught if the bell rang and hundreds of students crammed themselves into the hallway. Without looking at Jasmin I snapped her out of her trance and dragged her to the front office. The secretary took one look at me and Jasmin, with her pale face and depressed eyes she probably looked like she had seen a ghost- and it was close enough. She called to Mr. Leno, and as soon as he came out he took down my mom's number. He told us that he would call them right away and that Jasmin should go back to class. We had been expecting that and Jasmin was tensed and ready to argue for her right to stay with me. Mr. Leno saw the change of her expression and understood.

"Of course, if you would rather stay here, your welcome to it." I got the feeling that he would've sent her to class had he not known that Jasmin would probably start a petition the next day to get him fired. I almost smiled at the thought but then I remembered our reason for being in the office in the first place. The smile slipped of my face like I had been slapped. We went over to the ugly, orange, fake leather couches and sat down on one. I could hear Mr. Leno in the back trying to explain to my overly-dramatic mother what had happened. I couldn't feel anything so I just stared at the paste-colored walls and mulled over the predicament.

Life at home had never been great- just average. Of course, when my mom wanted to make a big deal out of something, she certainly could but it was only if she felt like it. Otherwise she just sat around the house moping about how she never got anything she wanted in life. I had been through it all before and it had become old by the time I was seven. Everyone thinks that if you're young you don't understand any of the hard obstacles in life and most of the time they're right. We had no idea what there was out there that we could be facing but we had also faced some of the things out there already. That didn't bug me, what got on my nerves was that no adults would give you the time of day, unless you were over nineteen. They thought that until then you would never amount to anything. Adults just didn't believe in good events anymore.

My mom's voice was blaring out of the phone and I could almost see her face turning a deep shade of cherry-red as she processed the information that Mr. Leno was telling her. I heard her tone change from attentive, listening (not to mention totally fake) parent to fierce mother ready to protect her child at any cost. I had heard my friend's parents use that tone often enough, but MY mother? The mother how never cared about anyone but herself? The mother who complained about my life on a daily basis? MY mother who regarded me nothing more than a worthless, time-wasting child? It just wasn't in her nature to care about me. It went against every rule she had ever made for herself. What was going on today? Nothing was following its normal pattern.

First I get Marked, then Jasmin looks relieved at the thought of me being Marked, now my mom was actually starting to care about what happened to me? NONE of it fit. Something had changed and there was nothing subtle about it.