"You and I are going to have a serious talk kiddo," Buffy groaned as she dragged herself out of bed for the third time that night. The first time she had handed the baby her pacifier and Faith had been out like a light, the second time she had scrunched up her nose and fumbled her way through a diaper change and she wondered what awaited her this time as the infant's cries sounded through her bedroom.
It had taken a long distance phone call to Stockholm where the portable cot had been made before they could get it assembled. Buffy had heard curse words come out of her redheaded friend that she didn't even know the seemingly naive girl had known whilst she battled with the contraption. They had even considered calling Xander at one point hoping that his skills in construction would give him an edge over the demonic cot but had eventually squashed that idea when they considered the wrath of Anya. Buffy had lay Faith down on her bed and sat down next to her a soft smile on her face as she watched the infant sleep. She had winced when Willow had let out an excited whoop when she had finally gotten the cot set up and glanced down at the baby crossing her fingers that she didn't wake up. When she was certain Faith wouldn't wake she shot a glare to her friend who was busy doing a happy dance with Tara.
"Take that unexplainably hard to assemble Swedish portable cot," Willow poked her tongue out at the cot sitting a foot away from the end of Buffy's bed.
"Wills while I'm sure mocking completely inadequate objects makes you feel all big and touch on the inside it's past midnight and with all this baby stuff I'm beat," Buffy said lifting the sleeping baby off the bed.
"Fine I'll just have to get my jollies embrassing the bedside lamp in our room about blowing a light globe the other night," Willow said.
"C-call us if y-you need any h-help," Tara said softly running her hands gently over the top of Faith's head before following her girlfriend from the room, shutting the door quietly behind her.
That was five hours ago when the moon had been high in the sky and Buffy had been looking forward to the prospect of a long lie in. Now her eye lids felt like they had weights tied to them and she seriously considered sticking the cot in her sister's room who for the time being was blissfully unaware of the whole Faith is a baby situation, and dealing with the consequences later.
Faith was standing up in the cot using the railing to hold herself up and tears were falling steadfastly down her cheeks. Once she realised that Buffy was there the baby held her arms out to be lifted out but with nothing to help her stand fell ungracefully back into the cot.
"I'd say that was karma for waking me up so many times but, well I'm just not that mean," Buffy said lifting Faith out, "now while 5am may be a fun time for a crazy young person like yourself, I need more than two or three hours of sleep a night so I'm going to need for you to step up your vocal skills and tell me exactly what it is you need so we can get back to that whole me sleeping thing."
Faith blinked up at her the tears that had been caught on her eye lashes dripping down onto her cheeks. The infant reached up with chubby fingers and grabbed a hold of Buffy's hair and the blonde Slayer winced as she anticipated the painful tugging that usually accompanied this action. Faith didn't tug on her hair however just wound it around her fingers and stared at it in fascination before looking up at Buffy and giving her a gummy smile.
"Of course it doesn't help my anger that you're just so damn cute," Buffy said smiling back at the baby.
Buffy got the baby changed and into a fresh diaper before taking her downstairs. Placing Faith in the middle of the living room floor she turned and went back into the dining room where the things they had bought the previous night still sat in the plastic bag. Grabbing a few of the rubber toys she and Giles had purchased she turned and went back to where she had left Faith. Only Faith wasn't where she had left her. The infant was crawling slowly towards the cabinet which held their television set and the Playstation she loved so much as an adult.
"You're mobile, since when are you mobile?" Buffy commented dropping the toys on the floor and racing over to scoop the baby up before she could touch any of the expensive electronics. Faith giggled and grabbed one of Buffy's hands shoving the Slayer's fingers in her mouth before Buffy knew what was happening.
"Ugh Faith why do you keep doing that?" Buffy grimaced pulling the drool covered fingers out and wiping them on the baby's onesie. She took the baby back to where the plastic bag was sitting on the dining room table and grabbed a pacifier out and popped it into the baby's mouth. Faith clearly wasn't impressed and whined a little before spitting the pacifier out and onto the floor.
"Faith! What the hell?" Buffy said incredulously.
"You know Buffy it's generally not good to say hell around a baby," Dawn grumbled groggily rubbing her eyes as she trudged into the dining room. Buffy raised her eyebrows as her sister continued walking through into the kitchen.
"One...two...three," Buffy smirked as her sister whirled around and opened her mouth looking disbelievingly between Buffy and the baby she held seemingly unable to form words.
"You know Dawnie if I knew all it took to shut you up was to bring a baby into the house I would have done it a lot sooner," Buffy smiled bouncing Faith on her hip who had started to grumble.
"Who...what...why?" Dawn asked coming back into the room and taking a closer look at the infant.
"Faith...demon....baby Faith," Buffy answered mocking her sister's inability to form a sentence.
"A demon turned Faith into a baby, man that is so lame what happened to the maiming and eviscerating?" Dawn scoffed eyeing the baby in Buffy's arms.
"Well you know sometimes even demons feel the need to change things up every once in awhile," Buffy said pulling her fingers out of Faith's mouth again, "God Faith why do you keep doing that?"
"She's probably hungry," Dawn said shrugging her shoulders when Buffy gave her a look, "what, we learned about baby stuff in health class, Mrs. Glasby bought her son in, stop looking at me that way," she huffed turning her back and going into the kitchen.
"Hungry, well I suppose you are Faith," Buffy said to the baby grabbing a bottle and formula from the plastic bag and following Dawn into the kitchen.
"Can you hold her while I make this?" she asked Dawn.
"Oh no no no, while I said I know baby stuff doesn't mean that I like them," Dawn said backing away into the kitchen bench, "besides I blame her for waking me up so early, I'm holding a grudge."
"Waking you up so early, she kept me up the entire night, the least you could do was hold her for a second while I get her some food so she stops trying to eat me," Buffy said.
"Wow you really know adult Faith isn't here when no one makes a comment about that sentence," Dawn commented, "I'm still not holding her, I'll make the formula you hold her."
"Who would've thought everyone in this household would turn into a chicken when it comes to baby stuff," Buffy spoke to the infant, lifting her up and blowing a raspberry on her stomach. Faith squealed with laughter kicking her arms and legs out in delight.
"She's pretty cute," Dawn admitted as she mixed the formula.
"Not at all what I expected baby Faith to be like," Buffy said smoothing her hand over Faith's soft baby hair.
"What you expected a badass baby who would wear only leather onesies," Dawn smirked handing the bottle to Buffy.
"Something like that," Buffy said laughing as Faith grabbed the bottle from her.
"You know we can't let her stay like that right," Dawn said coming to stand next to her and looking down at the baby who made contented sounds as she ate.
"I know."