"If we get out of this alive. I think I'm going to have to try to kill you myself." Connor laughed at her. "Just don't look down. You were fine on the way over!" Carolyn fought the urge to lower her chin. " On the way over I was jumping high to low. I thought there'd be another way back!" She eyed the distance between the two branches. On the way over to the elk the height difference had been in her favor but now she had to try to make up the distance plus another 2 feet in height. Connor leaned against the tree holding her bag. "You'll be fine! Besides we're over the river." She glanced down at the deep water way below and immediately regretted it. Taking a deep breath she backed up on the limb and gave it a running jump. She actually did manage the catch the branch. She hit the end with her stomach and grappled for a decent hand hold. The branch bent under her sudden weight, lowering and then springing back up like it was maliciously trying to shake her off. Her hands lost their grip and gravity took over.
She landed in the water with a splash and clawed her way to the surface gasping. She pushed her wet hair from her eyes and looked around just in time to see her hat float off downstream. "Are you alright?" Connor called out from the tree above. She watched him walk to the end of the branch and guessing what he had planned waved her arms frantically. "Not the bag!" He looked down at that and carefully threw the bag to the opposite shore before diving into the water next to her gracefully. "See I told you it's faster!" She splashed him as hard as she could with both hands laughing. They started for the shore, him outpacing her enough that he turned back to watch her paddling in the water.
"You'll never get anywhere like that." He commented. "Since we're in the water anyway let me show you." He swam back to her taking her hands and holding them apart. "You want to reach as far forward as you can each stroke. And if you cup your hands you'll get more pull in the water." He watched as she bobbed trying to keep her head above the water. "Try to kick more. You'll get there faster if you stretch out. Right now about half your energy seems to be going into moving you up, not forward." He still held her arms by the wrists stretched out away from her. "Imagine that." She grinned and grabbed his wrists in turn, leveraging herself up out of the water triumphantly. Belatedly realizing the issue he let go of her hands and dropped his arms dropping her back in the water.
In panic she grabbed on to the closest object which happened to be Connor. She froze then, her arms wrapped around his neck, her legs locked around his waist. After a few heart beats she looked down seeing his feet planted firmly on the riverbed, the water still too deep for her. "Ok, now that's cheating" she began as she started to push away from him in the water. She felt his hands grip her waist pulling her in before he lowered his mouth to her kissing her gently. She froze briefly before relaxing into the warmth of his mouth and hands as he pressed her to him more firmly. She tightened her legs around his waist giving her the support she needed to entwine her hands in his hair and deepen the kiss. He broke it at last leaving her gasping for air has he worked his way down her neck, one hand pressed firmly against her back holding her in place the other clamped down on the back of her thigh. She blinked at the afternoon sun and took a few deep breaths trying to clear her mind. Reaching the top of her jacket with his mouth the hand on her thigh moved up to pull on the buttons. She caught it with one hand, unhooking her legs. "Stop. This isn't right." He flushed in the water but let her go. "I thought you wanted this." She turned in the water towards the shore sighing. "I want a lot of things. Things I can't have. It doesn't change things."
Still she had to admit he was right about her hands and she made it to the shore much more quickly than she would have otherwise. Pulling herself out of the water she stumbled for a nearby log and sat down. She pulled off her boots and poured water from them shaking her head at Connor and trying to keep the situation light. "Well at least it's warm today!" Spotting her bag in the grass she retrieved it and checked to make sure nothing was broken. "And at least I have this." Her skirt was folded carefully in the bag. She pulled it loose shaking it out. She eyed Connor nervously over her shoulder. "Can you turn around for a minute?" He nodded and turned to face the river while she pulled off the sopping leggings. After a moment's consideration the pulled off the jacket and linen shift as well, wringing as much water from them as she could before putting them back on with the dry skirt.
She returned to the log then and sat, pulling her boots back on. "Okay, I'm decent." She walked over to Connor and put her hand on his shoulder. He turned his head away "I'm sorry." Her hand traced his cheek "Don't be. It was wonderful. It's just… it's just that I can't stay and I don't want anybody to get hurt." She ran her hand through his hair and pulled his head down. Standing on her toes she kissed him, drinking in the water of the spring still clinging to his lips. "You could stay you know. You're free to make that choice." She sighed "Aye and to live with the consequences of it too. " She wrapped her arms around his chest, pressing her cheek to the wet leather. "I won't say I'm not tempted but it would never work. Come on, let's head back." She picked up her bag throwing it across her back and draped the wet pants over her arm. Connor took her by the hand and laid a kiss on her knuckles. "You're not gone yet. While you're here?" He looked at her hopefully. She smiled at that and let him tuck her arm in his. "It's a possibility. While I'm here."
He shorted his usual stride considerably so arm in arm they walked back in companionably silence but as they neared the manor Carolyn froze. Two of the Sons of Liberty escorted by Minutemen sharp in their blue and white jackets stood waiting for him by the door. Unlinking their arms she took a step back and behind him. "I had better head back to town alone I think. I would not have them know I'm here." Glancing briefly at him she turned and briskly headed back to town.
Sighing he headed up to the door. "What is so important that you could not send a letter?" Samuel Adams turned his attention from the fleeing woman back to Connor. "We know where Charles Lee is." Connor's hand froze on the door knob. "Tell me." "He'll be presiding over your father's funeral." Connor looked up sharply at that. "What do you mean his funeral? " "The grounds been frozen, it appears. They're finally ready to bury him. Charles Lee will give the eulogy. It seems to me that it would be appropriate for you attend all things considered."
Connor did not know if it was a change in his behavior or the sight of the patriots but Carolyn was mostly absent the following week and did not meet his gaze when he saw her on the street. He finally decided to take matters in his own hands and saddled two horses from the stable. A few weeks ago while reviewing his tack he found an odd saddle in the stable the initials AD monogrammed into the leather. He slipped it on one of the horses now, trusting it would be appropriate for Carolyn.
Leading the other house behind him he rode to Ellen's house and knocked at the door. She opened the door and smiled at Connor sympathetically. "I'll let her know you're here."
Briefly Carolyn arrived at the door. "We need to talk but I have something to show you first. Will you come ride?" She nodded then looked up at the second horse in surprise. "You found a sidesaddle?" He nodded, glad his guess was correct. "I think it was Achilles's wife's." She turned back to the house. "I'll go change. Will we need to climb?" He shook his head "Just ride and walk a ways."
Shortly she arrived back wearing the blue jacket and skirt from the day on the mountain. He helped her up to the saddle and mounted his own horse while she shook her skirt into place. Taking up her own reins she nodded at him and they rode out. They rode side by side lost in thought for the first few minutes as Connor led them out of the homestead area and into the frontier lands neither being willing to break the silence. Eventually they reached his target and he helped her down and tied the horses to a tree giving them ample room to graze. Taking her by the hand he led her up the hill to a sunny pond.
"I found them a few days ago. I thought of what you said about your mother and thought you would like to see them."
Along the banks of the pond a small family of otters played. They were much smaller and darker than the ocean otters she was used to and frolicked in and out of the water in a game of tag. He handed her her notebook and stretched out on the grass. She sat beside him, charcoal pencil held in her fingers but made no move to draw ambling creatures. Finally she put the notebook down pushing it aside and leaned over him, "I have to tell you something and you're not going to like it." Connor sat up on one arm and slid a hand behind her head lowering her mouth to his. He kissed her slowly, tenderly until she pulled back and sighed. "Connor, I have to go." He kissed her again, entwining his fingers with hers and pulled her closer to him. "Stay?" he asked, searching her eyes. "I won't ask you to do anything you do not wish to." Carolyn laughed at that. "That's the problem. I do want this. And there is no one to interrupt us out here." She leaned in and kissed him, pressing herself firmly to his chest, her heart pounding in her ears. Slowly he reached between them, his fingers finding the pewter buttons of her jacket and tugging them open. She met his eyes nervously. "Just try to be gentle?"
Afterwards they lay in the grass, her head rested on his chest. "I'm sorry that I hurt you." He reached down and caught her hand, linking their fingers and placing them on his chest. "I'm not. I have no regrets. I chose this, Connor. I chose you." She reached up and kissed his fingertips lightly then lowered her head back to his chest. "I wish it could stay like this. I wish we had more time." she pressed herself more closely to him relaxing against the heat of his body.
He leaned past her and grabbed the edge of her jacket where it laid discarded on the grass and pulled it over her, his other hand traced the line of her back and he began. "There's something I must do soon. Somewhere I must go. But when I get back I will have more time." He pulled their joined hands to his lips and kissed the inside of her wrist. "I will try to be a good husband."
Carolyn stiffened against him. "We've never spoken of marriage. " He closed his eyes and smiled. "I've never had the time to be a husband before. It will be better soon. Do you want to wait for me to get back?" She pulled her hand lose from his suddenly and he looked down on her in confusion. She looked up at him sadly. "I should have been more clear."
Sighing she sat up and looked around the pond. "When I said earlier that I have to go what I meant is that I'm leaving the colonies. " She slid to the edge of the water and washed briefly, flinching at the icy water and redoing her tousled hair into a single neat braid. "They've broken the blockade. They're letting a ship through. The Sovereignty is leaving for Kingston in 9 days and I've booked passage on it. I've accepted a position in the governor's household. "
She returned to him and bent down to gather her clothes but he grabbed her hands. "You do not have to go. You can stay here. Stay with me." She pulled her hands lose avoiding his eyes. "Please don't ask me to explain because I can't. It's better this way." She began to dress as he watched on helplessly. "Oh Connor" she knelt placing her hands on his shoulders. "Please don't make this any harder than it is. I never meant to hurt you. You knew I was leaving. I've never said otherwise. I thought you understood that this was my way of saying 'goodbye'." She lowered her mouth to his. "I want this to be a happy memory. " He allowed her to kiss him but made no more move until she sighed and let him go. Pulling his own clothing back in place he stood.
She stood by the edge of the water buttoning her jacket and tugging it into place over her hips. "What if there's a child?" he asked quietly. She startled at this, blushing. "There's no child."
"How can you know?" He walked to her and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. "I know the odds, but my mother lay with my father one afternoon and I'm the product of that union. What if we have made a child today?"
Carolyn leaned into the embrace. "Then I will let you know."
He hugged her tighter. "Stay until you are certain."
She shook her head and looked thoughtful. "I cannot wait. Who knows when another ship will sail? It is the best I can do. Please do not ask for more. "
She looked over to the grass where having tired of the game a couple of the otters had curled up on the grass to sleep. "I guess the ones here don't hold hands after all." But she allowed Connor to take hers and lead her down the hill.