I do not own anything nor do I make any money from this story. All rights apply.
[For those that sent kind words – thank you.]
[A/N Not my best, but it should get better.]
The Price of Freedom – Dreams and Pride
Work on the plantation was simple and for the most part there wasn't much to do but it was currently harvest season meaning there was much to do. Zack had spent the last three days climbing the tall palms and collecting the ripe fruit. The harvested fruit was then taken over to trestle tables where it was sliced thinly and laid out to dry in the baking sun. The dried fruit would later be packed into boxes and shipped to Midgar for distribution. It had to be done quickly otherwise the fruit would spoil. The workers scrabbled up and down the palms all day, however, it took Zack nearly twice as long as the others to collect the fruit. Climbing the palms wasn't the problem, the problem was hanging on and cutting the fruit free before putting it into the string bag that hung from his back. Katila, a young girl that Lucas had sent to instruct Zack, could fill her bag with ease. Zack on the other hand was forever getting tangled and once or twice had dropped his knife. It was cause for much mirth for a few of the other workers – Zack knew it was because he was SOLDIER. He could hear the muttering of SOLDIER, ShinRa and mako, and none of them were friendly. On the whole, most of the workers ignored him unless they had instructions or advice, though only Katila gave Zack any advice. And she seemed keen to talk and chat to Zack. Zack took the hint with regard to the other workers and make no attempts to initiate conversation. It wasn't like he wasn't starved for conversation with Zehn endlessly questioning and discussing various aspects of ShinRa in the evenings after dinner. He hadn't brought up Sephiroth again but Zack could tell he really wanted to know more about him – he was Zehn's hero.
The last of the fruit had been harvested and every one pitched in to slice the remaining fruit. Lucas had told Zack there would be some weeks of work but with the fruit harvested, Zack couldn't see what else there was to do. He really hoped, or rather, needed to be physically busy. Two nights ago he had woken from a nightmare. He couldn't remember what he had been dreaming about but he had felt restrained and helpless. He had woken shivering even though it wasn't cold. As he spread the sliced fruit on the trestle tables he glanced at Arda in the distance – it looked like it could be a decent run. He might even start taking Cloud for walks. As it was Cloud spent all night lying down and all day sitting in a chair by the window. He had to do something otherwise his muscles would atrophy and since he wasn't able to move on his own, it was up to Zack to help him. The stumbling shuffling was better than not moving at all. He would have to ask Lucas about where to walk, he didn't need people talking and spreading rumours. Zack remembered dark rumours that he had dismissed as scare stories for rookies. He wondered if he had been a scare story.
As Zack turned back to the tables he saw Katila making her way toward him. She smiled pleasantly as she joined Zack.
"Tomorrow starts the heavy work," she said as she deftly sliced through the fruit.
"And what is that?" asked Zack slicing somewhat slower. Zack couldn't help but noticed she used her knife with ease and skill.
"The palms are stripped of their leaves so only healthy leaves are produced for the next crop. Then the older palms are cut down and cut into planks. The new palms that you arrived with are then planted so we can have a harvest every six months instead of only once year."
"Okay," said Zack mentally running though all he had thought he know about agriculture – he was a small town boy after all. And he was still pretty sure fruit came about once a year.
"The new palms trick the older ones into bearing fruit," added Katila seeing Zack's expression.
"Ah," said Zack with understanding. "It's been a while since I was out the city."
"Where are you from?"
"Gongaga," answered Zack easily. Luckily, he didn't outward wince at his truthful words – he would have made an awful Turk. He couldn't even remember to lie to save and protect himself.
"Gongaga…? They have a reactor, don't they?" asked Katila, her interest sparked.
"Yeah," said Zack.
"We don't have a reactor so we don't get put on the map," said Katila.
She seemed disappointed that Arda was under ShinRa's radar.
"Sometimes," she continued, "we have Turks running around looking for deserters." Suddenly she grinned, "but they never find them."
Zack smiled in return. He didn't know what to say and was unsure what to say in case he let something slip. On the whole, the people of Arda seemed to be okay with hiding people, or rather, most of the people seemed okay with the idea – if there was any merit to Lucas' worry about gossip. Or maybe SOLDIER was rarer and so worth the risk of gossiping. All the thoughts and possible options and decisions were wearing on Zack – it wasn't his gig, he was a man of action.
"I plan on becoming a Turk," announced Katila. "I've been saving my money for a ticket to Midgar."
"Turks…" murmured Zack. Zack knew more of the Turks than he cared for.
"Yup," said Katila missing his tone. "It was my idea to hide the deserters. I actually wanted to ask you something?"
Zack mentally braced himself, he had a feeling he knew what was coming.
"I wanted to know if you would mind training me while you are here. I've mastered all I know in the books I've studied but book learning is different to actually doing it," said Katila in a rush.
It was the last thing Zack wanted to do. What could he tell her to dissuade her from going to ShinRa? Did he tell her the truth now? Did she think the Turks just flew around in helicopters and wore black suits? Did she believe that SOLDIER recruitment rubbish?
"Katila…" Zack wasn't sure how to continue. Could this young girl kill someone?
"You are a SOLDIER," said Katila. "You're strong, you can fight."
"Can you kill me?" asked Zack quietly, and somewhat unintentionally.
Katila frowned.
"Why would I want to kill you?" she asked.
"Because you've been ordered to," said Zack letting his mouth take over. "The Turks chasing me and Cloud have been ordered to kill us."
Katila stopped slicing fruit and looked at Zack. He could see confusion and upset in her eyes.
"Cloud would be easy," continued Zack, curious as to why he didn't stop talking. "He can't fight back, he can't move at all."
"Why are you telling me this?" asked Katila in a small voice.
"Can you kill him?" pressed Zack.
Katila looked around, clearly upset.
"I don't want…" she stopped. "The deserters… they don't just pay a fine, do they?"
Zack wasn't entirely sure on that.
"Turks..."
Katila suddenly put her knife down and left the table. Zack watched her go and made no effort to convince the onlookers that everything was okay. Maybe he shouldn't have said those things to her. But she was still young, she could find another path to follow – a path that didn't involve ShinRa. Katila might hate him and not speak to him again, but maybe he had saved her. Before it was too late to be saved. Like Angeal, like Sephiroth. And maybe… like himself.
Zack completed the rest of the day amid the frosty looks of the other workers. The day finished earlier than Zack would have liked but there wasn't anything else to do. He lingered a bit after everyone had made their way home doing some stretches and squats. Feeling himself warmed up he set off toward Arda at a steady pace. He was careful not to speed up or slow down – it took more effort than he remembered and again he wondered how long they had been stuck in the mansion.
Thoughts of the mansion… Zack had the sudden urge to look behind him and check that nothing was there, creeping up on him. He tried to ignore but he felt sure there was something behind. Something big. Dark and formless. He stopped suddenly and turned, his eyes straining to see into the far distance. But there was nothing. He had known there would be nothing but he had to check as well. Zack stood in the quiet for a while, just breathing in the hot dry air, feeling the setting sun on his face. There was no darkness here.
XxX
After dinner, Lucas asked Zack about that afternoon and what had happened with Katila. Zack was at first hesitant but he told him and added that he now regretted being so harsh with her. It was the truth – he could have been kinder with his words. In the last half of his run home, Zack had come to realise how much anger he had toward ShinRa and it had come out in his conversation with Katila. How he had unintentionally hurt her with his words. Worry and doubt played in the back of his mind – who was looking for them? When would they catch them? He knew it was a matter of time before the Turks showed up, and what would he do then? He was also worried about Cloud – he didn't seem to be getting better at all. Zack had no sure way of knowing but he felt that Cloud was somehow on the mend. He hadn't had any physical symptoms since their first night in the foothills but Zack had on two occasions noticed tears running down Cloud's face. Cloud didn't appear to be distressed so Zack tried not to worry about it too much. But he didn't really know – and there was no one to tell him otherwise. Was being on the run actually killing Cloud?
The two of them sat at the kitchen after the boys had finished cleaning up. Lucas quietly smoked his pipe while Zack sorted out his thought.
"Cloud, um, I need to take him for… a walk…?" Zack suddenly dropped his head into his hand and gave snort of mirth. "I make him sound like a dog – take him for a walk."
"I know what you mean," said Lucas with a smile at Zack's words.
"Walking round the back of the house would be better – I have a little garden there for Mercia," he added. "It's less likely that someone will see you."
Zack nodded in agreement and thanks. Zack stood but paused before he left the table.
"Thank you for everything you've done," he said.
"Thank you for agreeing to work for me," counted Lucas.
Zack threw him a smile as he left the room and headed up the stairs. Cloud was sitting as Zack had left him. Mercia had taken to feeding him earlier in the evenings before Zack got home, and Zack was pleased to hear he had started eating properly – he didn't chew so much but he swallowed whatever was put in his mouth. But what really made Zack's day was that Cloud seemed to know when Zack wanted him to walk. It was slow going but he would put his foot forward when Zack pulled his body forward.
Unfortunately, Zack's good cheer at Cloud's progress diminished quickly. They had barely rounded the small garden when Cloud's feet started to drag. Zack tried to persevere a little longer but Cloud became more and more limp. Zack worked their way over to a small bench under a sad looking tree. Even though Cloud's eyes were open, he slumped down as soon as Zack let go and would have fallen had not Zack caught him.
"You know, Spike," started Zack as he adjusted himself so Cloud could lean against him without falling over, "this place reminds me of Gongaga in some ways. There's only one thing that keeps the town going – the palms. Gongaga had the reactor and Arda has the palms. I don't think people choose to live here, people are born here and just end up staying."
"I just wanted more than that. I wanted to be SOLDIER – to protect." Zack gave a bitter snort of laughter, "I was so happy when Angeal decided to mentor me – I looked up to him. And Sephiroth. I think I even thought at one time that ShinRa was doing good, moving forward."
"It feels so foolish now – honour. Where did honour get us? Used and abandoned like cheap toys. Experimented on like mice and rats."
Zack sat in the gathering dark, just watching the light fade and disappear.
"Where are all my dreams… Where is my pride, Angeal? Gone with the light…?"
XxX
Zack stood watching the plantation workers get ready to fell the palm trees. He had seen Katila but she had purposely walked in the other direction. Not wanting to cause another scene Zack let it pass. He would talk to her later. Besides, right now, he had to learn how to fell a tree.
Last night he had been dreaming about being lost in a dark area, he didn't know where he was but he knew it was a dream. Flittering bits of green kept catching his eye but when he turned to look there was nothing. He could also hear crying but couldn't tell where it was coming from, or who was crying. When he pulled himself from the dream, he realised he could still hear soft crying – it was Cloud.
When Zack tried to calm Cloud but he had resisted and tried to pull away. Zack had refused to let go and continued to hold him until he calmed down. He worried about Cloud the most when he was at work. Lucas' wife was at home but what if Cloud woke? He wouldn't know where he was, or what had happened. Or rather, Zack hoped he wouldn't know what had happened. He would be confused and think himself alone. Zack rolled his head from side to side, took one of the lowering ropes, pushed his thoughts aside and got really to work.
Zack had been given one on the heavy jobs, for which he was grateful. Something to get him back in shape and better able to look after Cloud. Some of the workers hadn't been keen for Zack to do the job. The palms were fragile and couldn't be cut and allowed to fall. Once cut they had to be lower slowly so they could be cut into planks and sold. Once a palm was lowered, the leaves were cut off and set aside to be dried and sold as roofing for beach huts in Costa del Sol.
It didn't escape Zack's notice that one of the workers who was against him working the heavy but delicate job had been the one to speak out against him when he first appeared before them. Zack let it slide and continued with his work. He had enough trouble with Katila being mad at him so by default he had other workers mad at him. He would sort that issue out at lunch.
By the time lunch came round Zack was starving. His arm muscles burned with use and sweat soaked his shirt, along with all the other workers. This was by far the hardest part of the job – and Zack was enjoying every second of it. The physical exertion had dispelled his lingering doubts and haunting thoughts. He waited till Katila was seated with her lunch before standing in front of her.
"I want to apologise for yesterday," he said quickly while her mouth was full of food.
She looked angry at being suddenly caught unawares but she swallowed quickly.
"Okay," she said.
"I took my anger at ShinRa out on you, it was unfair of me and I apologise," said Zack.
Katila was quiet for a moment.
"You are not going to apologise for what you said?" she asked.
"I could have phrased it better," said Zack. "But I said the truth."
Katila looked down at her food. Zack could see she was still upset over his words.
"I have an offer for you," said Zack.
Katila looked up, her brows furrowed.
"I will help you train in the evening," said Zack. "But I want you to think about your future – really think."
Katila said nothing at first but then nodded.
"Okay," she said.
"Good," said Zack. "I'll speak to you later then."
Zack wasn't entirely sure he was doing the right thing but he did it for two reasons – one, he didn't want Katila to go out and try to proof something. He didn't know her at all but felt it was best to be safe. Two, he could do with some practice himself. There was a noticeable difference in the workers' attitudes after lunch.
XxX
Zack met Katila at just outside Arda after he had helped Cloud round the garden again. The result was the same as yesterday – Cloud started out well but ended poorly. Yesterday Zack had been disappointed but he was coming to realise that Cloud's recovery was going to be a lot slower than his. It had been just over a week since they broke out, he just had to give Cloud a month or so. And be patient with him. Zack had been a SOLDIER when they were… taken. His body had had some mako, and over a long time period, and in controlled doses – who knows what Hojo had done to Cloud. Time. Time and patience, thought Zack as he walked over to where Katila stood.
Conversation was a little stilted so Zack dispensed with it and started fighting. Katila did know her stuff but it was all theoretical, she knew the moves but couldn't use them against Zack if he didn't attack in a predictable way. One of the main points Zack tried to get across to Katila was for her to aim for his body and not his weapon. To make every attack a possible kill, even if that attack was a faint. Unfortunately, just as Zack was getting into it, he noticed that Katila was flagging. He called a halt and they headed back to Arda together chatting easily about the various points Zack had brought up during the training session. No mention was made of Turks or ShinRa, much to Zack's relief.
And so the next three weeks consisted of Zack felling palms during the day, walking Cloud around the garden in the afternoon and training Katila in the evening. He was beginning to feel more like his old self. While it felt good, it also meant as he got used to the exercise he wasn't so tired at night and that meant dreaming. And Zack was desperate not to dream.
All too soon, the work was finished. Palms were cut, new palms planted and Zack had a pay packet in his hand. Lucas had been right, it wasn't much. But what the last few weeks had done was bring Zack back to his old strength – his old physical strength but his new mental strength.
He was sad to leave Arda but happy to be on his way to Midgar, on his way to Aerith.