I do not own anything nor do I make any money from this story. All rights apply.
[A/N Ah ha – once again deviations from the FFVII CC plot.]
The Price of Freedom – Fragments of Memories
It had been at least fifteen minutes that Zack stood staring at the sign that read Gongaga. They were a day outside Gold Saucer but the sun still had an hour of light left. Zack stood at a crossroad, sword on his back, Cloud still by his side, staring at a sign.
It wasn't the first time he had seen the sign post, he had seen it many times growing up and a final time when he felt for Midgar. It had represented nothing for him as a kid, now it represented everything – his home, his loss. Did his parents know what happened to him? Obviously not that he had been an experiment for years but had ShinRa sent them a letter notifying them of his 'death' four years ago.
Dear Mr and Mrs Fair
It is with great regret that we inform you that…
Had they even done that? Of course they had. To ShinRa he was dead. So was Cloud. The letter every parent dreads – his parents got one. ShinRa was saved from having to send one to Mrs Strife.
He heaved a heavy sign – he could not stay in Gongaga. It wasn't safe for them. And it would be cruel on his parent to see him so briefly and then never again. It was better that they continued to think him dead. His throat felt tight and it was difficult to swallow. Better for them. But there was always the future. Something else was bound to happen and when it did, finding him will move to second priority on the Turks' list. Soon it would be third, fourth. And he would be forgotten in the daily running of ShinRa. Then he would return home with Aerith. And Cloud if he wanted to tag along to the middle of nowhere. Zack wondered for a moment about Tifa but assumed her to be dead along with all of Nibleheim.
Zack shifted his gaze from the sign to the long road that stretched for many days toward Gongaga. That was not his path, he was planning to moving along the coast until he found someone to take them across the water. He looked again at the Gongaga sign, didn't bother to even glance at the Nibleheim sign. He wanted to think of home for a little bit and not the pain and horror that lurked beneath the surface.
A polite cough caught his attention. He turned quickly,
"Cissnei!"
"Hello Zack," she said raising her hand.
"What are you doing here?" he asked surprised that she had managed to surprise him.
"Looking for you, Zack," she said. "Waiting for you to come to Gongaga."
"I'm not going to Gongaga," said Zack.
"We're waiting for you if you do," she said.
As she spoke she moved onto the road that lead to Gongaga, almost blocking Zack from going down it. It also gave her a better view of Cloud.
"It that Strife?" she asked showing a moment of concern.
"Yeah," muttered Zack. "What's left of him…"
Zack hadn't meant to say it out loud but he saw his words had an effect on Cissnei.
"Cissnei, please… Please let us go," begged Zack.
As she was about to respond her phone rang. She pulled it free and looked at the number.
"Please, Cissnei…" Zack knew it was Tseng on the phone.
She flipped it open and brought it to her ear. She was quiet as she listened, eyes downcast. After a moment she looked up at Zack.
"They haven't come this way," she said.
Zack closed his eyes in relief. She was off the phone when he opened them again.
"Thank you," he said with heartfelt gratitude.
"Well, it's the truth. You're not on the road to Gongaga, you haven't passed me," pointed out Cissnei with a small smile.
"Thank you so-"
"Time to go, Zack," she interrupted kindly.
Zack nodded. Cissnei had given him a chance – he could not waste it. He nodded.
"Bye," he said.
Cissnei nodded, turned on her heel and headed toward Gongaga. If she didn't see which way he went, she wouldn't have to lie later.
XxX
It was late in the night when Zack decided to stop, he wanted to continue but was tired as he had ended up carrying Cloud shortly after his encounter with Cissnei. They had left Gold Saucer almost immediately after Zack had found Cloud. He had paused only to buy some food with the money he had acquired from Lyle. He had bought army rations as they lasted longer – Zack had no plans to infiltrate society again. Midgar was their destination and that's where they would head. He had ditched their disguises as soon as they were out of Gold Saucer and pushed himself hard to get as much distance between them and Gold Saucer as possible. He had slept fitfully the night before; worrying that someone would follow them, worrying about Cloud's refusal to eat, worrying that telling Lyle he was wanted was a bad idea, worrying about the Turks again.
There was no protection from prying eyes out on the plains so Zack decided not to light a fire. Cissnei had successfully waylaid Tseng and he wasn't about to alert him to their location and the fact that Cissnei lied to him. The rations were not disappointing in their lack of flavour and dismal texture, but he could crumble them up really fine and trick Cloud into eating them. Well, eating one. At least he was drinking water again. Zack was pleased that Cloud was quick to leave whatever corner of his mind he had hidden himself. That was until he was woken a few hours later by screaming, and once again trying to calm Cloud seemed to make things worse. However, Cloud was quick to calm himself and didn't stir again till much later in the morning. Zack was carrying him again when he woke, or rather, when Zack noticed his eyes were open. They stopped for a brief rest, some rations and water before heading off again. Zack was sticking to the coast, it was a somewhat longer route but more likely they wouldn't be noticed and a better chance of finding a hidden way to cross the sea. The benefits out weighted the time it took. It was worth the time it took. Longer but safer. But Zack still felt a little itch as the slow pace.
Cloud's weight hung off Zack's shoulder and his feet make a token effort at moving. His eyes were open but vacant as before. The light had gone out again, but Zack felt sure that it would return. And hopefully quicker than before. After lunch progress was slow and Zack was setting a heavy pace, he felt an urgent need to get away from Gold Saucer and to Midgar. Midgar, where safety waited in the arms of Aerith. He smiled at the thought. The smile turned to a grin as he imagined her surprise at his return. What would she say to him? Would she be angry? Hmm… she might pretend. What would he say to her? How would he explain the last four years? He didn't have a clear recollection as it was. Again he shifted Cloud's weight forward, trying to make him walk faster.
After an hour Cloud stopped making any effort to walk. Zack tried a couple of times to make him walk, he tried pleading with him but to no avail – even if Cloud could hear him, he had no way of acting on his own. After a few failed attempts Zack stopped and lowered Cloud to the ground. After some maneuvering he managed to get him to stay upright. Zack was a bit ashamed at his annoyance at Cloud's behaviour. Behaviour? Behaviour was the wrong word, behaviour implied free will and Cloud had none. He took a couple of steps back, trying to still his ragged nerves. He turned his attention to the expanse of land to his right and sea to his left. The day was still and quiet – the only sound his movement.
The landscape was so familiar, so painful. Zack ambled around as he remembered simpler days and grand dreams – dreams of SOLDIER. They felt so long ago, like somebody else's memories. Heaving a sigh he turned his attention back to Cloud and was surprised to see how far he had walked. Cloud was as he left him, he had not moved. A sly thought slipped its way into his mind – he could reach Aerith so much quicker without Cloud. He could move much more freely without Cloud.
Zack took a step back at the thought, he felt physical crushed at the thought – what a thought to have? How could he have even thought it!? If he walked away now Cloud would die where he sat. He would make no effort to save his own life – he could make no effort. He was completely and utterly at Zack's mercy – Zack held Cloud's life in his hands.
He felt no power or superiority at the thought – he felt despair. If something happened to him…
He shook the thoughts away and jogged back to Cloud's side. Without thinking he took Cloud's face in his hands and looked him straight in the eye.
"I'm never going to leave you," he swore. "I will get us to Midgar. I promise."
Zack willed the words to penetrate the smog of Cloud's mind.
"I know you don't want to," he said wrapping his arms around Cloud, "but we have to continue."
Zack held Cloud for a minute, desperately trying to let him know that he was safe. Besides, thought Zack as he hoisted Cloud onto his back, even if he were capable of leaving Cloud Aerith would never forgive him. A few weeks added onto years wouldn't make a huge difference – his girl was waiting for him.
The next couple of weeks involved a fairly standard routine of activity for Zack. In the morning they would walk along the coast while Zack regaled Cloud with stories of his youth, his dreams, his days in ShinRa, the endless training, drills, classes. They would then have a quick lunch round midday and walk until Cloud got tired – which was happening later and later as the days passed. Instead of carrying him, Zack would stop and do some hunting to save their rations. Hunting was scarce along the coast but Zack managed to find enough to supplement their ration diet and further their rations at the same time. Zack was also pleased that they hadn't come across anyone. He hadn't even seen any one since Cissnei walked away from them. Maybe they were truly off the radar for a little bit.
"Stories make being on the run more romantic than it is," Zack said one evening and he fed Cloud. Zack no longer had to trick Cloud into eating – he ate and drank as he had before Gold Saucer. Zack had even noticed a frown when he ate the rations – that is how bad they are, Zack thought with a smile.
"SOLDIER recruitment didn't mention having to eat this either…" muttered Zack and he munched through his own share. "Though most missions aren't that long. Not so long that we had to resort to rations."
"I think this is the first time I'm eating rations."
"Enough about rations, time for sleep."
After two weeks Zack was starting to get a little worried. Cloud was stumbling along beside at a fair pace for someone in his state, this was good for Cloud and a good sign but it meant they were covering ground faster – also a good thing but if they continued along the coast eventually they would end up very close to Gongaga, and he knew the Turks were waiting for them there. Cissnei had made that quite clear. Her tone had also implied that that was the last time she could help them. Next time they met it would be as fugitive and Turk. Not only did Zack not want to be caught, he also didn't want to put Cissnei in the situation where she would have to capture him.
"We go from one thing to the next – our luck sure does wavier back and forth," mused Zack.
He humorously entertained the idea one morning that maybe he could built a boat – he had no idea how to begin, no idea how to sail and no wood nor tools. Short of growing wings… Zack gave a shudder. How that expression had changed for him. It no longer held any amusement, only sadness. Memories rather forgotten.
A couple of days after his boat 'idea' their luck changed, Zack saw some smoke further down the coast; he guessed about a day away. A fishing village, just what he had been looking for.
"See that Spike," he said turning so Cloud faced the right direction. "That is our way across the water."
He was half right.