Scott, I'll love you forever.

Chapter 9

Revelations and Goodbyes

Logan smiled lazily at the drug store cashier. She had curly brown hair and an infectious smile, "Champagne-? That's not something we sell often, what are you planning mister?" She paused and winked at him, "A big night?"

Logan chuckled under his breath, she had no idea, "I'm hosting a small engagement party for a friend."

The cashier bought the lie, and why shouldn't she Logan had rehearsed it over and over on his hike from the cabin to the town. Logan took the brown bag and stowed it in his backpack walking lazily threw the town; it was strange to Logan how the last few days had passed in a blur of roughhousing and passion. It was stranger still that not once in the countless times Logan and Scott had had sex, had they made love. To Logan there was a specific and clear cut line between the two; sex could be had with anyone, anywhere, anytime, but to make love… it took talent, feeling, and something like inherent gentleness.

Scott saw Logan from the wood pile; he set his ax down and sprinted across the snow towards Logan. Scott had woke alone that morning, and he had looked the house over until he had found a note scrawled in vis-a-vi on the fridge: Gone to Town. – Logan.

"Logan." Scott said throwing his arms around, "Why did you leave me behind?"

Logan kissed Scott and looked into Scott's glasses imagining the dark colorless eyes that were reflected back at him were Scott's own, they stood transfixed by the other for a moment but then Logan clasped Scott's hand in his and led the younger man back towards the cabin.

"I had to go all over town to find what I wanted."

"What did you get?" Scott asked leaning against the counter in the kitchen as Logan removed his backpack.

"Champagne." Logan said with a devious smirk. Logan's eyes sparkled with excitement as Scott took the bottle and popped the cork. Scott closed his eyes behind his glasses and whished for the first time that someone could look into them and see what he felt.

Logan rummage to the back of his cabinet and brought forth two champagne flutes, there was a civilized part of him that had kept them for the 4 years after Jean's death. Even now the iridescent sent a pang of guilt and sorrow threw his chest.

Scott's heart raced as Logan produced the glasses and set them gently down on the counter. Something was going to happen, and whatever Logan had in mind Scott knew he wanted to be a part of it.

Scott let Logan run his hands down the smooth skin on Scott's back. Logan had disappeared earlier that day and reappeared without a word, now he was sending waves of pleasure over Scott's form in the same manner. Logan's fingers brushed against the faded waistband of Scott's jeans. Scott rolled over and sat up on the bed his skin prickling with energy; Logan kissed his chest slowly, lazily. Scott moaned softly tangling his right hand in Logan's hair. Logan coaxed little gasps and moans out of Scott then tugged gently at the young man's pants. Scott's back went ridged with pleasure as Logan stroked his length. Logan lowered his head into Scott's lap trailing the tip of his tongue from the base of Scott's cock to the tip. Scott tossed back his head and gasped for air. Logan's lips closed over Scott's tip and an all consuming heat began to rise in Scott, he felt like his skin was on fire. Logan began to suck, coxing Scott to a climax. Scott ran his finger tips along the muscles in Logan's neck. Scott moaned low in the back of his throat as he came.

Scott was on his stomach again his hand still tangled in Logan's hair as Logan kissed him. Scott could feel Logan pressing gently against him. Logan pushed in slowly; Scott gasped gripping the sheet with his free hand and feeling his own cock begin to grow hard again. Logan moved slowly his own eye closed and his breath hot on Scott's back as he kissed the young man's tight muscles. Scott's breath was erratic, almost a sobbing sound. Logan pulled out of Scott and moved with great concern to hold the younger man, "Scott-?"

Tears were leaking out of Scott's tightly closed eyes; Logan set Scott's glasses on his face and pulled him close. Scott resisted for a moment but then submitted; he wrapped his arms around his own waist and buried his face in Logan's neck tears pouring down his cheeks liberally. There was a silent in the room that was broken only by the quite sobs coming from Scott. Logan sat his with his arms around Scott but felt the farthest he had ever felt from the young man.

"I'm sorry." Scott finally managed to choke out as he lifted his head from Logan's neck and tried to wipe the tears from Logan's skin.

Logan caught up Scott's hand and kissed it, "Sorry for what?"

Scott shook his head as if trying to clear it, "I just realized…"

Logan knew what Scott was trying to say before he had said it; Scott had been hiding behind the pain inflicted during sex, hiding from years of subservience and abuse. Years of his childhood lost, to a dank dark room. Logan could never know the shame of it, being used like that; he could never wash Scott clean of the shame, of the disgrace. Logan's arms went limp around Scott and he stood up kissing Scott's forehead. "I'll get some coffee going."

Scott reached out grabbing Logan's hand and twisting his fingers into Logan's, "I want to keep going."

Logan dropped Scott's hand and moved to the window throwing open the curtains, midday sun flooded the room. He moved back to Scott who was bathed in sunlight and lowered him gently to the bed.

Scott gazed up at Logan towering above him and his heart raced. Scott reached to take his glasses off but Logan brushed his hands away, "leave them on." He whispered his voice husky and distant. Scott's hand fell to his sides and Logan moved between Scott's legs pushing in gently once more. Scott gasped again as Logan entered him. Scott wrapped his arms around Logan's neck and moaned. Scott watched the light and shadow play across Logan's face; it looked smooth and devoid of feeling until Logan looked up from Scott's collar bone and into the reflection of Scott's glasses. Logan's black eyes were full of emotion. Scott heard moaning and realized it was his own, Logan's brow furrowed for a moment as he pushed in deeper. Scott moaned louder his arms tightening around Logan's neck. The world seemed timeless as Logan made love to Scott, the sun bathed them both in warm light and the soft sheets made a perfect nest for their passions. Finally Logan came and Scott came soon after shooting his cum across Logan's washboard stomach.

They lay for a short moment silently kissing, Scott looked into Logan's face and saw sadness etched into the edges, "Logan-?"

"The car will be ready tomorrow." Logan murmured softly brushing hair off Scott's face and reaching past him for the flutes of champagne. Scott's stomach felt as if it had dropped out.

Scott took the champagne offered to him and drank slowly fearing the worst.

"We won't be able to continue…" Logan paused for a moment searching for a word, "this, when we go back to the mansion."

Scott set aside the flute, "then let's not go back."

Logan looked at Scott for a moment not understanding what had just come out of the young man's mouth.

"Let's keep going, we can get plane tickets and go to England or France, or Russia, or Japan, we could go to Italy. Or we could take the car and drive south; just keep going until we get to Mexico or we could go even farther and stay in Brazil."

"Scott, we have to go back."

"No, Logan we don't."

Logan shook his head, not so much to convince Scott but to convince himself; he'd thought about it. How he had thought about it, every time he had woken in the middle of the night and gazed on Scott's pale visage he had thought about it. Just running away from the X-men and hiding in some little house in another country. They could be happy, it would be hard at first but after a while they could be happy; but Logan knew that in the end it was just a crazy idea. He was sick of running, sick of having to be careful who he talked too, what he said. He had finally found a place that he could call home, and he wouldn't risk that, not for the world, not even for Scott. He had already played the odds buy sleeping with Scott he wasn't willing to risk any more.

"Scott." Logan said softly, "I'll love you forever. Here, or at the mansion, or in some far flung country I'm always going to love you… but I'm not going to run. I've had enough of running; I've finally found a reason to stay right where I'm supposed to be."

His words hung in the air until Scott moved close to Logan and kissed him softly and slowly, "We need a shower."

The next morning Scott watched as he and Logan pulled away from the little town. Logan hadn't said much that morning and now that they were in the car he seemed more down cast than ever before. Scott reached his hand out and tangled their fingers together once more.

***

Dear Reader,

I would like to apologies for not getting this chapter out sooner, I shouldn't make any excuses but I will any way, I've had writer's block, my father has been in town for a bit (I haven't seen him in a while so I was spending as much time as I could with him), and I've just been lazy. However I'll be flying a lot in the next couple of days so there will be another update every soon. Once again I'm sorry for the long wait and hope to have my next chapter be a bit longer and a great deal more satisfying.