CIAOSSU!

New chapter, anyone?!

Tobirama...you...

So before, we thought that Kakko (the guy from Iwa who killed Obito, remember?) started the entire series of Naruto...

Well, you know what, part of the blame goes to our dear Senju Tobirama now. Stupid Madara goes nuts, and Tobirama just makes Madara more nuts.

Aaaand, because I just love Izuna so much (not really, but I feel like he was a gentle, curious character), he will forever be alive in my stories. Not.

Kagami, oh Kagami, I'm surprised Kagami doesn't hate you, Tobirama. In my story, anyway.

Disclaimer: Naruto doesn't belong to me, because Mito was a jinchuuriki and Tobirama killed Izuna. Though to be honest, that was kind of expected (sort of...yeah.)

"My brother died from that woundddd!" Lovely to know, Madara. This is coming from the man who denied mop-head's peace offering. Thanks a lot, love, mop-head.

Note: Something short and random. Daughter still doesn't have a name O.o.

This is not a serious chapter...whatsoever. lol. Except for maybe three sentences. =3=

Chapter 37: Someday You Will Know

"Someday, you will know."

Mysterious words, aren't they? Quite a tiring phrase, this one. Especially when it comes to certain topics. A serious shinobi may utter these words, either detailing a prophecy or as his last words to, say, a student or a child. Or, perhaps, they may be about other matters entirely. They may make you laugh, or blush, or cry, or just annoy you to no end. Whatever the case, Jiraiya would not be finding his answer any time soon.

"But Tobirama-sama," he wailed, "you have to tell me how you did it!"

"Did what?"

"You know!"

"What do I know?" Feigning complete ignorance, the Second Hokage sat on a park bench, accompanied by his student's students – a favor that Hiruzen would forever be indebted to – and looking completely and utterly bored. In truth, he was not so much bored as annoyed; if that Saru had not gotten sick, Tobirama would not be sitting here (though it freed him of his office work temporarily).

Stuck with a bunch of little kids – he had no idea how old they were. What, five? Why in the world were they in a shinobi team if they were five years old? – Tobirama sighed. He supposed that it was because this batch was a trouble-making group, and thus needed the guidance of a not-yet-an-adult sort of monkey.

A goose honked loudly, and startled the living daylights out of Orochimaru. This, Tobirama thought, was incredibly funny, though he held his laughter under a mask of practiced stoniness. The boy must've jumped three feet in the air – impressive for a five-year-old – and his shoulder-length curtain of ebony hair draped its way over his face, covering everything but his nose, which peeked out from behind it all.

"UNCLE THAT WAS A GOOSE."

"I see," Tobirama answered, arching a brow when his great-niece clapped enthusiastically at the hoard of angry birds that honked unpleasantly at them. He preferred a pigeon choir over this any day, but the days of pigeon choirs seemed to be long over – that is, except when Takeshi bought his mother flowers on her birthday, and everyone around the Yamanaka shop cooed. On those days, Takeshi came back with bundle after blue bundle of sapphire to violet flowers, smiling hopefully. On his sister's birthday, he came back with a myriad of shiny stones from some place unknown to them all, because he knew how much she liked crystals. Some days, Tobirama wondered if his son had just robbed a jeweler, and was not at all reassured when Takeshi told him that there was a cave behind the waterfall behind the Inuzuka place.

"UNCLE."

If Tobirama were to lose his face, he would lose it by a number of people. Mito would deform his beautiful Senju features into something horridly unrecognizable, Madara – though deceased – would return from the grave (technically, his sketchy cave) and steal his eyes, some Frost Country priest would steal his hair, his nose and mouth might go to some crazy witch's home, and Tsunade would talk his ears off.

As she was now.

"UNCLE," she shouted again, unnecessarily loud. "TEACH ME HOW TO FLY."

At this, the still spooked Orochimaru nodded eagerly. Tobirama stared at all three of them, three five-year-olds that wanted to be ninja but could hardly string together thought processes that made any sense.

"Let's play a game," Jiraiya suggested. Immediately, the other two turned to him.

"What game?" asked Tsunade. "Hide-and-seek? Tag? Oh can we play that game where we have to get the flag, and we all run past a shark, and then we turn into seaweed? OH how about the one where you have to stop when the fox looks at you? No, wait, let's play the one game where you sit in a circle and we're all ducks and there has to be a goose who chases everyone…oh my gosh, GOOSE!"

And, miraculously, the conversation turned back to the proudly strutting flock of birds that were currently picking their way across the playground. Orochimaru shuddered and Jiraiya started naming the poor geese.

"That one's Sarutobi-sensei, that one's me, that one's Tsunade, that one's Hashirama-sama, that one's Sakumo, that one's Koharu-sensei, that one's—"

"All right, all right, what do you guys want to do?" interjected Tobirama before Jiraiya named all of Konoha.

"I want to fly," Tsunade said. "Can you fly, Uncle?"

"No, I can't."

Tsunade looked dejected. Then, quietly, Orochimaru added:

"Sarutobi-sensei said he knew a man that could fly."

Tobirama groaned inwardly. They were definitely referring to Onoki and Muu from Iwagakure, because those two could fly so easily that they tended to float away if they didn't pay attention. They took "staying grounded" very literally.

"I heard he has a big nose!" exclaimed Tsunade. Then, abruptly, "So are we playing duck-duck-goose or what? I don't want to turn into seaweed!"

Tobirama was not following at all. Though he would never put this unfortunate fate on anyone, he wished that Mariko was in his place at the moment. She and her bottomless well of patience – well, usually bottomless – would deal quite well with these children. Seeing as every day she dealt with a meek, blue-haired boy and a fussy daughter who took after her father too much, as well as the father himself, Mariko had quite the patience for all sorts of things. Her capacity for listening was larger than Konoha, which Tobirama was quite thankful for. (Though when she snapped, she was nearly as scary as Mito. A scary little blunette spouting flames instead of flowers.)

"NOT IT!" shouted Jiraiya.

"No, nose goes!" hissed Tsunade. She poked her nose with a stubby forefinger. Jiraiya followed suit at the same time as Orochimaru. They all looked at Tobirama, who was horrified that they wanted him to play with them. He played with his own children when they were small – he still occasionally accepted the offer of baseball with his son and badminton with his daughter, if they wanted – but he was stiff, tired, and not in the mood. At all. "UNCLE!" yelled Tsunade. "YOU'RE IT!"

"What are we playing, again?" Tobirama was tempted to leave a water clone, but then the poor water clone would be suffering. He wouldn't want himself to suffer, would he?

"TAG," Tsunade declared, completely contradicting herself. Wide eyes that mirrored Hashirama's childhood starriness made Tobirama apprehensive. Hashirama, who fell in puddles, directly translated to his granddaughter. How…lovely.

Tobirama stood and glanced at the three children. Maybe this would be a measure of their future shinobi prowess. Even so, he folded his arms and tried his best to exude his usual shinobi coldness. It didn't really work against children; he simply appeared to be thinking, or just not paying attention. The glare that scared the pants off the ANBU captain was useless against three five-year-olds waiting eagerly to play tag.

"You have forty seconds," Tobirama said. The children, squealing, scattered in all direction across the park. Jiraiya, unwisely, decided to take a headlong charge at the geese. Half of them scattered, some flew away, and still others honked and dove for him. Tobirama recalled one of Takeshi's encounters with geese. The poor child had been scared silly, and Hiruzen had made it worse when his laugh turned into a goose-like snort. A blue baby is cute, but a blue baby with wide eyes and a look of pure shock on his face is cuter. Such was Takeshi's dilemma; he was so cute when he was scared. And then he buried his face in Tobirama's collar, and everyone loves it when he buries his face in that fluffy collar, so everyone just cooed.

Forty seconds passed, and Tobirama sighed. He felt three presences at the edge of his range, and he wished that they were not there. If he had to justify himself to the two of them that would make fun of him for it, he would claim that he'd done the same thing when they were small too. The third one would just smile; she needed no explanation, she was just purely amused.

Tobirama scared the bejesus out of all three children, and Orochimaru nearly had a heart attack. The geese had scared him enough – he didn't need Tobirama whipping out of nowhere and blocking his path.

"Shall I tag you first and make you it?" asked the Senju. Wide-eyed, the child spun around and clambered into a tunnel at a surprisingly quick pace. The black-haired boy was seen scrambling through the park's jungle gym and vaulting down a slide at record speed. Tobirama looked around; his easiest target would be the other two, since Orochimaru was so slippery.

There was Jiraiya, who appeared to be clueless but was quite adept at bouncing out of reach at the last possible moment. That left Tsunade, granddaughter of a man who fell in puddles and had once been in danger of becoming the first human skipping stone by the Uchiha's hand. Tobirama decided that his grandniece would offer the easiest prey. After that, he'd easily stay out of their way.

Tsunade, who had a string of nonsense coming out of her mouth when Tobirama appeared in front of her, squealed and dove for cover. Hands reached for her, hoping to pull her quickly into the tunnel slide to safety, but Tobirama swept her up out of reach.

"You're it," he declared, putting her down and then leaping a safe distance away. Tsunade paused, quiet. Then, her Hashirama-like brightness turned into an expression of pure Mito, and Tobirama decided that this girl would be a fearsome kunoichi in the future. He leapt into a tree and waited.

"Dad, you're pathetic," snorted the white-haired girl who ambled up to the oak's base.

"You can't blame him," Takeshi amended gently. "They're pretty crazy."

"You should've seen him deal with you two," Mariko added, looking up into the tree. "He's done quite a good job."

"Mom, you say that, yet you haven't seen him train us."

"Oh, I think I've seen enough of his training style to know what happens," Mariko quipped lightly. Tobirama glared.

"Your mother's just angry she still can't stand on water."

"Really, Mom?"

The blunette folded her arms, and surpassed Madara-level glares and reached into a dangerous Mito altitude. Tobirama decided now would be a good time to see what in the world Team Hiruzen was doing.

"I'm not a shinobi," Mariko said flatly, as Tobirama casually sauntered back over to the park, dodging a few squealing children in the process.

"Hey Mom," said Takeshi. "Why does Dad never answer you?"

"He's just like that," snorted the younger sister, throwing her silvery hair over her shoulder. The girl's mother reached over and pinned the white locks back with a clip, because the girl's hair was forever obscuring her face. "Hey, stop it."

"Let people see your face," Mariko told her, as she always did.

"No."

"Hey Mom," Takeshi called again. "Is there a reason Dad's always trying to be serious?"

"He's not always serious," laughed the sister. "Did you see him just now?"

"No, I mean, why is he so…awkward?"

At this, Mariko burst out into laughter, touching her son's arm as she passed.

"It was never in his nature to be so kind," she mused aloud. "So I suppose that marrying me and having you two was the scariest thing that ever happened to him."

The children looked skeptical.

"I think Dad is jus awkward, period." The white-haired girl made a face.

"This is coming from someone who looks just like him," deadpanned Takeshi. Mariko marveled at how much each of them resembled their father. Tobirama's daughter had his mocking demeanor and attitude, while Takeshi was sweet to a fault – but at the same time, his sister was often very shy, and Takeshi had a streak of snarky obstinacy that wore Tobirama's essence all over it.

"That has nothing to do with anything," snapped the girl. When comfortable, she was vicious. More vicious than perhaps her Aunt Mito and Aunt Sumiko combined. One time, it took a Suiton to the face to get her to shut up, and that was at a point where even Tobirama could not take her teenage fuss anymore.

"Mom," Takeshi said. It seemed like he had an endless supply of questions for her. "Dad's been going to the cemetery, you know that?"

"I know."

"But it's nowhere near…you know." He was referring to his Uncle Hashirama's death, which was, in fact, in a different time of the year. During that time, their cousin would sit with his relatives in front of the Hokage memorial, and he would grow a lovely honey-colored birch altar for everyone to set flowers upon. Then, he would hug his daughter Tsunade to his chest with his fair-haired wife beside him, and they would sit silently, watching the wind blow the leaves through Konoha.

"It's a different occasion." Mariko watched her husband, glad that he could at least feign happiness when this was a hard time. He had visited Itama's grave that morning, she knew. She and Mito had waited patiently for him by the gates, nonintrusive, quiet. It would soon move to Izuna's passing, something he never spoke of. While Mariko would never learn the details until Mito recounted a story for her, she always had her suspicions that Tobirama had killed him.

"What occasion?" asked both children at once. Mariko considered telling them, then considered not. They would learn about their clan's history eventually.

"Someday, you will know."

"Mom!" cried her daughter exasperatedly. Fortunately for Mariko, they were blessed by an interruption in the form of Senju Tsunade, a hurtling ball of gold that crashed into the group squealing with delight.

"I can fly, I can fly!" she screamed when Tobirama scooped her into his arms and tossed her lightly into the air, catching her easily.

"Tobirama, don't drop that child," Mariko said emphatically.

"I've never dropped anyone's child," replied the Senju, one arm wrapped around a squirming grandniece, and the other around his son.

"Are you sure?" asked Tobirama's daughter. She folded her arms and arched her brow, looking dubious.

"I'm pretty sure I was dropped a few times," Takeshi commented plainly. Tobirama made a face, then went back to where Jiraiya and Orochimaru were currently debating their plan of attack on the white-haired Senju. "Have you ever dropped Mom?"

"From where?" Tobirama called over his shoulder.

"Not from where, to where," snapped Mariko. "In the river, that's where."

At this, a slight smirk graced Tobirama's face, and he rolled his eyes.

"Kids, why don't you teach your mom some interesting ninjutsu?"

At this, Takeshi cringed, because his talent for ninjutsu was no better than his mother's. He'd passed the Academy just fine, but he was a terrible shinobi and preferred a life of peace. Teaching kids and running a restaurant with his fiancée was good enough for him.

"All right," agreed the snow-topped daughter. "Mom, if you can't walk on water, try walking up a tree."

Mariko made a face.

"That's even worse."

"I CAN FLY!"

Mariko kindly declined her children's offer to teach her chakra control, and instead went to make sure that Tobirama didn't die by Mito's hand for dropping Tsunade in a puddle…or something.

"You idiot, you are going to die doing something stupid someday."

Tobirama tapped his face guard and simply threw her the smallest of grins.

At least the cause of war wasn't young Mito picking a flower and then another Obito-love-failure scenario.

I'm glad for that.

SHARINGGGAN. OOOOHHH. *wiggly arms* Tobirama was so badass this chapter, he even killed Izuna!

. . . wait a minute... =3=

Bwahaha. I'm not going to change Emeralds, though.

So pretend that Emeralds follows the storyline that is currently going cuckoo in my head, while this story somewhat follows each chapter...as in I'll add in the most random stuff ever. Old Konoha for the win.

(I'm hyper, can you tell? It's usually worse...be grateful any of this is comprehensible.)