She sighed and pulled herself to the edge of the bed dropping the blanket at last. Connor's eyes went wide to see the thin gown clinging to her growing belly. His voice was urgent. "You said you were sure." She laughed. "I was sure. I was not with child when I confronted you. Then I decided to follow a certain stubborn Assassin into the woods because I was concerned about his reputation. Don't worry. It might not be yours." She laughed again and shook her head. "No, best to start at the beginning. Come, you're probably both hungry." She pulled on a robe and picked up the candle and led them to a table containing bread, cheese and fruit. She looked at Haytham. "Help yourselves." She sat on the couch and drew the robe around herself and Haytham sat beside her. Connor sat on the seat across from them neither man moving towards food.
She took a deep breath and looked between them. "I'm not sure where to begin." Connor nodded to Haytham. "How long have you worked for him?" Carolyn smiled. "I always knew him. I told you about my father. He worked for Haytham." "You said he was a doctor!" "He was. We are not all soldiers. Maybe once we were but Haytham made us more. Plenty are business men or scientists or doctors like my father. He served to help lead those unused to military order and warfare. When they hung my father he came personally." Haytham looked grim at the memory. "I thought I could save him too. I failed him." She shook her head. "No, it was not your fault." She glanced at Connor. "And he brought me to live with him and raised me. I didn't know about you. I mean I knew that there was an Assassin again; first one and then many and that it was dangerous but I did not know who you were. Then one day Charles came for a meeting. I remember them shouting in the room. And when it was over they told me the plan. That Haytham would take Charles's place. Then he called me into his office and told me about you. He said that he had a son who was honorable and brave but uneducated and a danger to himself and others. He asked if I would be willing to try to reach out to you and teach you."
Haytham shook his head. "I never meant for you to do more than teach him reason and patience." She hung her head. "I know that. I didn't except him to be so much like you." Connor bit his tongue to keep from responding. She took a breath and looked at Haytham before continuing. "So I went to Davenport. I picked the lock on the house and found the basement. Saw that there were no new targets after Lee. Went an introduced myself to the town people and started to teach them. Most of them could not read but once that was taken care of we would get together and talk about science and medicine. It was almost like being home. And Connor had a school built so I could teach the children of the town. " She smiled at the memories. "And Connor?" Carolyn flushed. "We began to spend time together. All my knowledge came from a book. He began taking me to the woods, showing me the various animals. We had more in common than I realized. At first I was terrified of him but soon I only felt safe when he was near me. " She sighed. "I didn't realize what was happening until it was too late. I fell in love with him. You always warned me not to let my emotions interfere with reason. I knew it wouldn't work. I knew it. I wrote to the Governor and asked if he would find me a position in his household and when Connor went to kill Charles I went to Boston to come here." Haytham thought back to when she arrived. "And he followed you?" She nodded. "Followed me and convinced me to stay and marry him. He said he was done with the war." Her eyes were reproachful but Haytham grimaced. "You cannot change someone's nature, Carolyn, however much either of you might wish it. We are fighters. It is in our blood." She let out a breath. "I know that. But there is a time for war and a time for peace."
"The next part of the story is plain. We married. We lived together for 6 months. I did not speak of my past. He contented himself with hunting and sailing. Once a week I would sneak down the basement to keep an eye on things. The day he threw out all the portraits I was so happy. I didn't even care that my last picture of you was gone. And then one day there was a new portrait." "And you confronted him?" She shook her head. "No, not then. I waited. I chose to let John die because I knew what I had to do and I was scared to do it. He had been very… attentive the previous weeks and I thought I might be with child. But I wasn't. I was sure of that." Haytham looked confused but she met Connor's eyes. "He came back, I told him the truth and we fought. I thought he would kill me. I never dreamed he would just leave. I didn't know what to do." She paused. "Then one day he came by the house. I saw his tracks in the snow and followed him. I wanted to talk… and to see him again. I got lost in the snow and passed out. And woke up in a strange bed." Haytham's jaw set and he clenched his fist but she grabbed his arm. "It wasn't like that. It was foolish but it was my mistake. It was so cold and he was warm and I missed him so much. When he looked at me it was like he had never left and I was safe again." She blushed and closed her eyes before continuing. "And the next day he said it meant nothing and I told him I was leaving."
Connor sat like a man carved out of stone on the couch. "Who else? Who else might be the father?" She shook her head. Haytham frowned. "You should tell him. Surely he has a right to know." She laughed bitterly and shook her head again. "I mean that I do not know." She sighed. "I got sick after the woods. Very sick. I was hallucinating. I thought my father was there. I thought you were there. But mixed in with the visions was something more real than the rest. I remember someone on top of me, pinning me to the bed. I remember trying to fight him off but not being strong enough. I never even saw his face." A look of horror and rage began to fill Haytham's face. "I asked the lady who was caring for me if anybody else had been in the house but she said just her and the doctor except when she left me alone. But even after the fever broke I still had bruises. They were on my wrists and shoulders. And thighs." She looked at the floor unwilling to meet either man's eyes. "I did not hallucinate the bruising. They were too big to be hers or the doctor's." She took a deep breath and the continued in a rush. "And then even when the fever broke I was weak. I was tired all the time. I couldn't keep down food. My courses stopped. I started to realize what happened. I prayed that it was just the illness." She laughed at that." I know we do not pray but I assure you it came as naturally as breathing. And then it became clear that I was with child. So either Connor managed in one afternoon in the forest what he could not in 6 months of marriage or … or I should have fought harder. "
The silence stretched and she continued. "I realize then that I couldn't stay. If the child was not Connor's everyone in town would know. Besides they knew he had left and I could not bear to be around them already let alone once they knew my condition. I dare not stay in Boston or New York. I might run into him on the street. I stopped by to see him once before I left. I asked if anybody had been watching the house. I thought perhaps someone would have seen something or… or many of the assassins are also tall with large hands. I figured that was my best chance to know who else it might be but he said that nobody had. I could hardly tell him the truth, that I was with child and it might not be his. Then I sailed for Kingston. I didn't know you were alive. This was my best chance to find a position that would allow me to take care of myself and a child. I hated to lie to the Governor and his family. They've been so kind to me but I had to give him a name. I could hardly use Kenway. I certainly couldn't use Blair. I picked Ramirez because the Spaniards vary in coloration so that the child might look like anything. When I was in Boston I heard someone talking about Connor going after the Lucinda so I knew it was only a matter of time before she was registered as sunk and people might take me as a widow.
"I never meant to lie to you, Haytham, but I couldn't tell you the truth. I won't know if I carry your grandchild until it is here. If it is your grandchild it should be fairly obvious. Most of the sailors and merchants in the town were European." Haytham looked stricken at this. "How can you bear it?" She looked thoughtful and laid a hand on her stomach. "I've had longer to think on it. I decided before I ever left Boston that it doesn't matter. Whoever the father is, the child is mine. I would have written Connor if he turned out to be the father. I would have done that for you at least. If not I would not have had to tell anyone and would have just continued as a war widow. " She hesitated. "You were willing to help me before thinking it was a random sailor's child as long as it was mine…"
"The child is mine." Connor studied the ground, his hands clenched before him. Carolyn sighed and turned to him. "You have no way of knowing that. It's not so simple a matter." He shook his head. "If those were the only two options it is mine. There was no other man." Her eyes went wide. "You didn't! You promised!" He looked up in horror. "Nothing happened. I stayed in town because you were sick. You were having convulsions and Diana had me hold you down while she went to get the doctor. I did not realize I held you so tightly. I did not want you to know I was there so I made her promise not to tell you." Carolyn clutched her dress and stared at him. "So it never happened? For five months I've thought… And it was you? And you didn't say anything?" He didn't meet her gaze. "If you had said something in Boston instead of being so damn secretive I would have. You were carrying my child then. You let them hurt you." She swallowed and nodded. "Only a little… I suppose it's for the best. At least now I know. If you're lying I'll know too. It will be pretty obvious." He sighed. "I'm telling the truth." Her tone was artificially light. "Then I suppose I can tell you now. You're going to be a father. I'm having a baby." She turned to Haytham. "There. He knows. Now take him and go."
Connor drew a sharp breath but Haytham nodded to the window, the first rosy light of dawn starting to shine in. "I'm afraid it's too late for that today unless you'd like to see him hung. We'd never get him out." She looked at the light in horror. "What do we do?" Haytham stood. "He'll have to stay here today." She scoffed at him. "Impossible. I can't have him here. People think I'm a widow!" Haytham looked between the two of them. "But you're not. He can hardly come to my rooms. I was seen on the dock last night. I'll be having meetings. Just hide him here if you don't want people to see him. I'll tell everyone you're not well and bring meals up here for you both. " He turned to Connor. "I trust you to behave and not do anything to endanger Carolyn or my grandchild." Connor nodded still in shock. Haytham turned back to Carolyn. "See? We'll try to get him out tonight. In the meantime put this back on." He tossed the ring to Connor who glanced at Carolyn and slid it on. She turned to Haytham angrily "You cannot force this." He raised an eye brow at her. "I did not force anything. I wasn't even there. You chose this. Don't think you can get out of it so easily." She watched him walk to the door. "What am I to do with him all day?" Haytham laughed. "You told me you were married 6 months. I think you can handle a day. Ah yes." He reached into his belt and handed her the dagger. "Try to keep it this time. I think it best if Connor stay unarmed. Be sure to lock up behind me. You wouldn't want any unexpected visitors today. " He yawned. "I think I'll get some sleep. I'll be back in a few hours with lunch." Helplessly she followed him to the door and barred it behind him.
She turned back to the room, aware of Connor's eyes following her. "I'm going to try to get some more sleep myself." She walked to the bed and tucked the dagger beneath her pillow and pulled the sheet loose. "You're welcome to the couch if you're tired. It might be a tight fit. If you're hungry go ahead and eat something." He took the sheet from her but did not move. "There are books on the desk if you'd rather read…" He shook his head. She turned back to the bed and climbed in, pulling the blanket over herself and turning where she could see him. She laid there for an extended period of time but as exhausted as she was sleep eluded her. Finally she sat up and pushed the blanket back and pulled the robe back on. "It's no good. I can't sleep." She wandered over to the couch and sat across from Connor, his position unchanged. "Look. I didn't ask him to bring you here. This doesn't change anything between us. I'm not looking for anything from you." He let out a snort. She sighed. "Do you want to talk about it?"
He considered her. "So July?" She nodded. "About then, yes." "What will you call him?" She ran a hand over the cloth of her skirt. "I have no way of knowing if it's a boy or a girl. If it is a boy I've thought about Edward after my father. That was your grandfather's name as well. For a girl I'm really not sure; perhaps Ellen. Right now I call it my little stowaway. Haytham and I inspect the ships in the port so I've smuggled this little one into dozens of ships with them none the wiser. Of course these days they've figured it out. Other than that I haven't really thought about it. I just figured I would wait and see." "I mean for a family name." She looked thoughtful. "I don't know." She blew out her breath and closed her eyes trying to hold back the tears. "To be honest I had myself convinced that it wasn't yours. That it would have happened sooner if it was meant to be. Now I don't know. I have a few months yet to think of something." He took a deep breath. "Will I get to see him? " She looked surprised but nodded cautiously. "If you want to. I'm not sure how but we'll work something out. Perhaps the war will be over by then." She leaned forward and picked up an apple from the bowl on the table, biting into it and chewing it methodically. She gestured to the bowl with the fruit. "You're truly not hungry?" He shook his head as she sighed. "I seem to always be these days." She took another bite, her eyes suddenly filling with tears and she scrubbed at them with the back of her hand. He watched in horror but did not know what to do. "I'm fine. I'm fine. Really. I'm just very emotional these days. I cannot help it. I cry at the drop of a hat. When I see beaver pelts on the dock. When we get a shipment from Boston. It takes very little. Truly I'm glad. This is good news. I'm glad it's yours. It is much better than I thought." She laughed suddenly in spite of the tears.
"Why did you not tell me? Even if you weren't sure you could have said something." She closed her eyes and leaned back. "I was scared to, Connor. I didn't know how you would react. At least… at least if your friends had killed me your hands would be free of our blood. I would not have put that sin unknowingly on you." He swallowed. "You were scared that I would do that just because you didn't know who the father was?" She wiped her eyes. "I could not risk it. It was only a few months prior that you held a knife to my neck. It would have taken much less to kill my child than me. If you friends had not decided to split my lip or if he had had the chance to kick me I might have lost it."
He turned to her suddenly, animate for the first time since he discovered her condition. "How can you say this doesn't change anything?" She rested a hand on her waist and took a deep breath. "It does not change what we decided that day in the woods. I would not trap you to me with a child you wanted no part of. It changes much for me. I have someone else to think of now. This is a good place to raise a child. I have a good job and can provide for it. And it will be safe. There is no war here." He looked around the room. "It is not that safe. I could get in." Her eyes went wide and he hurried on. "I do not mean that I would just that if I could so could others." She laughed nervously. "So you suggest I should add bars to the window?" "I just want you both safe." She smiled. "We are. I'm in a fort and your father is next door. He will not let anything happen to us." He shook his head. "He is a good fighter but he is not as strong as he once was. I've bested him. Being with me would be safer." Her eyes flashed in fear and her hand tightened on her stomach. "Both of you. I do not mean to take your child from you." She breathed a sigh of relief but shook her head sadly. "In a war zone? Or would you take us back to Davenport and have people know that this was the only reason you brought me back? Would you be husband or jailer? Do you hate me that much?" He sat in silence, his eyes locked on the floor.