A/N: Okay so I don't really have an excuse for why this chapter is being updated a month after the last. All I can say is that it's summer and I had 2 focus on family. Sorry **Insert sheepish grin**. I'll try to type faster.

So, for the munchkins out there who like it, don't like it, hate it, whatever- review for the sake of my 'close-to-dying' sanity. I don't think that I can take much more hate mail for this story.

Disclaimer: It's not mine! But the plot still is =) [wow that sounded bipolar]

Failing to Admit

Chapter 6

Bella's POV

I woke up disoriented and completely exhausted. I remember feeling really warm and how my entire life came back to me in a rush. I was so confused. Was "final death" like that or was that just me? I suddenly remembered Keeper. Where was he?

I tried moving around for the first time since I woke up, only to find that I couldn't move…

I was wrapped in some sort of sheet…blanket…thing. I was a big bundle of clothe. I opened my eyes and everything seemed huge. Everything was extremely bright around me, too. I tried to yell, but all that came out was a gurgle. I looked up; there was a woman above me.

What the hell had happened to me!? Was this some kind of sick joke that Keeper was playing on me or had I just been transported to Giant Ville? I struggled to move again, and yet again was met with the cage of the woman's arms and the blanket. I started to panic.

What was going on? I couldn't speak; all I could do was gurgle and cry. It wasn't that I was uncomfortable or anything- I was either just seriously delusional or I was in the middle of a dream. I thought back to whatever I could remember that might help me. I thought about how Keeper had been giving me strange looks, but that was the only thing that stood out among the rest of my memories….

He wouldn't!

If Keeper had given me back my mortality- my life- he had messed with fate, but it was the only explanation to the odd situation that I now found myself in. It was the only way.

I had been reborn.

I looked back up to the woman above me. She must be my new mother. I could nearly feel her maternal instincts radiating off of her. There was no doubt that she was my new birth mother. She was absolutely glowing.

I knew that if I exposed myself that there would be hell to pay- literally. I could tell that my mental abilities were definitely beyond the norm of a day-old baby. The only thing that was restricting me from speaking was the fact that my vocal cords weren't all the way developed yet. Otherwise I was free to speak and act and think on my own.

I had to admit that it was a freedom that people rarely got and it felt good to know that I had it. Children didn't normally realize that they had more freedom than anyone else. They got to act and speak out without getting into trouble because they were still young and naïve. I wasn't going to be restricted. Not when I was young anyway.

I spent my days as a child being loved and cared for but at the same time it was the most difficult thing I ever had to do.

Growing up was easy because my new parents found me as a blessing and they were easy to love. They coddled me all the time. I think that they were relieved that they never really had to teach me potty training or how to take a shower on my own. They thought I was a genius- a child prodigy. I found it oddly annoying because as soon as people found out what a "remarkable child" I was, they started to pay attention and that wasn't something that I wanted. I had to keep a low profile. If anyone ever found out that I was…different, then I would be in big trouble. I had no idea what the people "up there" would do but I had a feeling that it wasn't anything good.

I found that as I became older- my toddler years- my senses sharpened. It was like everything was double as powerful as it normally would have been. It may sound delusional- but I felt like a newborn vampire without the bloodlust.

Maybe it was a figment of my imagination or maybe it was just long-forgotten hopes getting to me, but at some times, I seriously thought that I was a vampire. I could see a leaf's exact color from miles away- in the literal sense. I could hear a pin drop in a room full of hundreds of people. I could smell the scents of animals outside and pinpoint exactly where it was coming from and what it was coming from. I could taste every single spice and ingredient in the food I ate. I could feel the minerals in the earth when I pushed my toes into the sand. I could lift boulders the size of medium sized mammals. Of course, I never preformed stunts like those around my parents- I could have been struck down by lightening before anyone could find out what was going on, if I was exposed.

It was cruel that the world measured you by your age instead of by your mental progression. People always thought that when you're younger you're stupid, but that not true at all. Normally when children are young they have a tendency to think thing through logically- sometimes even more logically than older people. If it's something that they don't understand then, sure, they are going to seem like they don't know what they're doing but you would too if you had no clue what was going on. I had no freedom at in my young age because people thought that I couldn't handle the truth about certain things.

For example, my parents were trying for another child one night and the next morning, when I told them that I was scared for us because my walls were shaking and there was growling and moaning coming from their bedroom, my mother blushed a fire red and my father stuttered- telling me that there was no need to be worried. It was then that I realized what had actually been going on. I asked him if he knew what was wrong. I wanted to see if they would be truthful with me. He told me that the pipes in the walls needed to be checked out because the water pressure was up too high. I had to give it to him- it was the best excuse for sex I had heard yet.

I lived in Italy with my family. Unfortunately, if my memory served me correctly, I was sitting near the heart of a vampire haven. I could remember everything. Everything about my past and everything about my time up in the "heavens". It seemed unfair to me that I could remember all of that but that I couldn't do anything about it. I wanted to scream in frustration at all of the mistakes I had made, and everything that he did to me. I still couldn't even say his name. I was ashamed that I was so weak, but I was working on it.

Anyway, back to the fact that I lived in Italy. I had no idea if any of the Volturi's regular rules applied to me. When I was living my first life, they had no idea that I even existed, let alone my connection to 'their world'. Now that I was 'reborn', I didn't know if anything was the same. What if my scent was different? What if I didn't have my shield anymore? What if Aro could hear all of my thoughts or Jane and Alec could torture me to death now that it wasn't up? Was there anyway for me to survive, or would I be doomed to an overly cautious existence?

As I grew up I could tell that people around my age found me strange. They would look at me and think

'Is she taking brain steroids or is she really that smart' or 'my mom thinks she's mature but I bet she keeps a binky and a security blanket.'

They always thought that I thought that I was better than them, but that wasn't the case at all. Deep down I knew that it was just in my nature to act mature and that I as just as confused as they were, only, my confusion was from a drastically different situation. I had already been through school so that came easy, but is getting over your first love, who rejected you, ever easy? Everyday I had to remember the fact that he didn't love me, that at this moment he was probably off with Tanya or some other fantastic looking, model-like, vampire, and every single time I thought about it I wanted to desperately pour bleach on my brain and burn out the memories. Either that or I would end up killing myself and being Cleaned like a normal soul.

Surprisingly enough I looked a lot like my former self. My hair was still a boring, dull, chocolate brown color- same as my eyes. I was still slim and pale. My upper lip was still slightly out of balance with my lower lip. In other words- I was still as average as could be. If I didn't know any better I would think that I was an identical twin to my former self.

Most of my time was spent analyzing everything that Keeper had ever said to me. I remembered when he had said things that didn't make any sense and now suddenly they were perfectly clear. Such as the times he said that I would need to forgive people for the thing that they had done to hurt me in the past. I thought that may have pertained to Charlie and Renee. For them getting a divorce and making me choose between them. For making me ever think that there was chance that they might get back together. For throwing Phil into my life, when the last thing I needed was for someone to make my life even more confusing.

Or one of the other things that Keeper told me was that I should be open to love. I think that he was telling me that I should love the people that I meet in my new life. There was only one other thing that either statement could relate to and I didn't want to dwell on the possibility that he was coaching me for me to reunite with his family.

I could feel pain shot through my temples and I held my thumbs over them- trying to apply pressure. I knew that if he had lead me to believe that he loved me then his family was in on it to. I had loved them. It was now painfully obvious that they had never reciprocated the feeling. It hurt to know that anyone was capable of taking someone's life so lightly. Especially if you thought that the person was you friend or even you're closest family. Did they think that it was courtesy that they stuck with me or was I just their play toy to observe and see how long I would last in their world? I supposed I would never know.

Today I turned 13. No longer a 'tween' but only beginning life as a teenager. It was a hard line to walk. I didn't get any acne, which seemed odd to me. Even in my first life I had gotten a little, even though I may as well have been scrubbing with a cement brick for the cloths I used. My skin as always pale and perfect. Again, I couldn't help but compare myself to a vampire. I tried to shake the thought. Today was my day and I wasn't going to let any one disrupt my peace. I could hear my little brother downstairs as my mother tried to shush him.

"Can I lick the bowl? Oh please, oh please. PLEASE?" He was nearly shouting and I could picture my mom rolling her eyes at his antics. Antonio was born four years after me, and he was my mother's 'baby child'. She loved him to death and she babied him all the time. It was a miracle that he wasn't too spoiled. My father said that the only reason that he wasn't too whiny was that he picked up some of my maturity. I always blushed when he complimented me. I wanted to earn his approval. It must be something that programmed into children's genes.

"Antonio, quiet down, sweetheart. You'll wake you're sister." She hushed him in an adoring tone. Little did she know that I had been awake for hours. I hardly slept as it was. I didn't need to, but I had been awake from the moment that my father's snores had stopped and my mom had snuck down to the kitchen to start making my favorite breakfast. I could smell the vanilla and flour from the pancakes and the stench from the match that she had lit for the candle. I heard the clatter of sprinkles on the counter as Antonio added them to the top of the pancakes. I could have cried. I loved them all so much and they took care of me. Especially Antonio- he felt it was his duty to protect me from any evil lurking in the shadows. I found it adorable. He was so young, but he always found a way to con me into taking him places with me.

I studied my appearance in the mirror in front of me. It was boring, as always- the unshed tears in my eyes glistened. My skin looked like it was glowing because of the sun illuminating me from behind. Other than that, nothing particularly stood out. I sighed and walked over to my bed and closed my eyes in mock-sleep, waiting for the celebration to being.

Do you hate your siblings or do you love them?