Chapter 4: Peace At Last?

Recap:

-Ziva turned and found Eli David standing behind them with a gun.

"Eli! What do you want?" Ziva hissed.

"My grandson! He will be Mossad!" Eli yelled back.

"No he won't!" Ziva yelled back. Ziva drew her SIG from her side holster and pointe it at Eli.

"You wouldn't...you are weak!" Eli said with a evil laugh.

"Try me!" Ziva dared.

Boom! A two guns shots went off at the same time. Blood on the wall, but who was shot?-

Abby opened her eyes to find Eli on the floor holding his hand over his bleeding chest.

"You messed with my family, you took my childhood and you ruined my life, now you die." Ziva said with a dark look on her face.

"Babe just let it be. Let me call Gibbs." Abby pleaded.

"No! He must die!" Ziva shouted.

"Why? Please stop this, Ziva. Where is your heart?" Abby said tears coming down her face.

Ziva saw the scared look on Abby's face and heard Isaiah crying upstairs. She looked in the mirror behind Abby. She saw the dark look in her face. Just like her father's when he would shoot at her. She was becoming Eli.

"What have i done?" Ziva said dropping her gun and falling to her knees.

"Becoming the one thing you said you would never become. You finally are becoming me." Eli said couching.

"No. NO! I-i NO!" Ziva said grabbing her wild curls and began crying.

"I'm calling Gibbs." Abby said tears streaming down her face.

(15minutes later)

Eli was taken to the hospital and after he was going to be thrown in jail. Ziva was curled up in a corner crying. And Abby was on the couch rocking Isaiah back to sleep.

"Abs, what's wrong with Ziva?" Gibbs asked sitting next to Abby.

"She went into shock after she shot Eli. She won't talk to anyone. Gibbs, i'm scared...what if she never talks again? I don't think i can do this with out her, Gibbs." Abby said tears falling from her eyes.

"No more crying, Abs. Please? I'll see if i can get her to talk. Just stay here." Gibbs said kissing her forehead.

Gibbs walked over to where Ziva was curled up. Ziva was rocking back and forth, shaking. She had her hands buried in her wild curls as she rocked and cried.

"Ziva? You in there?" Gibbs said making Ziva look at him.

Ziva gave him a blank stare. She didn't say anything. She just lifted her hand and placed it in his cheek.

"Can you hear me?" Gibbs asked.

Ziva nodded her head. She was still in so much shock she couldn't speak.

"Talk to me. Or at lease talk to Abby." Gibbs said.

Ziva lifted her hand and started signing.

(\signing/)

\I'll sign to Abby, but i won't talk./ ziva signed. Ziva had picked up sign langue soon after she fell for Abby.

\Okay/ Gibbs signed back.

Gibbs walked over to Abby and sat down next to her.

"She won't talk. But she will sign." Gibbs said taking Isaiah from Abby.

"Thank you." Abby said then got up and sat in front of Ziva.

\Hi./ Abby signed.

\Hi./ Ziva signed not meeting Abby's eyes.

\Why won't you speak?/ Abby asked.

\Because it hurts to speak. I'm afraid of what i have become./ Ziva signed with a sigh.

\Why? You are not like Eli. You are Ziva. You are my beloved./ Abby signed as tears came down her face.

\Please don't cry. It hurts me when you cry./ Ziva signed as tears fell down her face.

"Then talk to me. Please." Abby said sadness think in her voice.

\I will talk, but i want us to be alone./ Ziva signed.

"Fine, come with me?" Abby asked.

Ziva nodded her head and got up to follow Abby. Ziva followed Abby up stairs to their room.

"What's wrong, babe?" Abby said sitting in their bed.

Ziva walked over to Abby and sat on her lap and just hugged her. Abby cradled Ziva in her arms and rocked her like a child. Ziva felt stupid acting like this but she didn't care. She felt safe in Abby's arms.

"I'm a monster." Ziva whispered.

"What?" Abby said with confusion.

"I'm a monster. The way you looked at me when i shot Eli. I had the same look that he had when he trained Ari and I. I was evil. I am evil. How can you love a monster?" Ziva asked as she began to cry.

"You are not a monster. Would a monster feel bad about shooting someone? Hell, would a monster feel at all? No! You are not a monster. You are my beloved Ziva. And i am your wife. Don't forget your son, who needs you. Ziva, my love, you are not a monster. You are my lover, my wife, my beloved." Abby said holding Ziva closer to her if it was even possible.

Ziva cried for a long while. She stayed in Abby's arms and just cried. She let out so many tears that she had held in since she was a small child.

"Ziva?" Abby asked.

"Yes?" Ziva whispered.

"May i ask what your father did to you? I mean if it hurts too much please just feel free to say no." Abby said quickly.

"It does not hurt. Not any more, at least." Ziva said with a sigh.

"Oh, will you tell me?" Abby asked.

"Yes. I was about 5 when my father started training me. He told me i was not a woman because if my defect. So he treated me no different than any other male Mossad trainee. It was hard. He would push me to the point of exhaustion. My days would drag on and some days, i would not sleep. There was once a time when i was 14 that i did not sleep for 5 days strait. I went through all the training. My father would take me out to a large fenced field and he would shoot at me and tell me to dodge the bullets. I had been shot in the legs 14 times and in the chest about 6 by the age of 10. Bullets no longer hurt me...i was numb. My father broke both my arms so many time i can not remember. He also broke my legs numerous times. He said it would make me strong. It did, but it scarred me for life. I never had a childhood, only once did my father ever be a father. Once when i was in high school, he went to my graduation. That was it. The only time he ever said he loved me, that he was proud of me, that i was his daughter, not a half-breed freak. My life at the beginning was tough and it sucked. But if it wasn't for my bad childhood, i would have never met anyone like you, or even married. I love you Abby." Ziva finished with tears in her eyes as she snuggled back into Abby's neck and arms.

"Babe, i didn't know. Life must have sucked for you. My life story is nothing compared to that. My demons scarred me too, but not that bad. Babe i love you so much." Abby said holding onto Ziva and crying.

"Don't cry. I hurts me to see you cry. Please. I miss your smile." Ziva said wiping Abby's tears away.

"I just can't help it. I feel too much. It's like, when you're in pain, i can feel it too." Abby said through her tears.

"Abby, why did you cut? And why did you not eat?" Ziva asked holding Abby.

"You really wanna listen to my life story? It's not all that great." Abby said with a sigh.

"You listen to me, ramble on about my sucky childhood. I am willing to listen to you any day. I love you that much, my angel." Ziva said.

"My life was normal, or at least i thought. I don't remember much about my real mom and dad. All i know is that they gave me up. When i found out i was adopted, i hated my real parents for giving me up. I began cutting when i was about 12. Children at my school called me a freak cause i was goth. And because my parents were deaf. I was a little cubby when i was in the 5th grade and i got called fatty and balloon girl. So i stopped eating. When i dropped the weight, people still made fun of me. It was like i was never good enough. When i was 15, i got my first boyfriend. I thought if i had a boyfriend, people would stop messing with me. But he was paid to be my boyfriend just to trick me. He's the one who got me pregnant with Dove. He was paid to love me and to sleep with me. When i told him i was pregnant, he slapped me then punched me and told me if i ever told anyone it was him, he'd kill me. So i told my mom i didn't know who the father was. My own mother called me a whore. My father was more understanding. He's the one who took care of me when i was throwing up at 3am or if i had a craving for chocolate and pickles, he would go to the store and buy them for me. Even if it was 3am. My mother hated me. She wouldn't even talk to me. My father was the one who set up all my doctor's appointments and was there when i gave birth. I love him so much. My life in no way was as bad as yours but i did have a rough start...my life was not as happy as i am...i just learned to smile through all the pain and guilt. But i am so happy i found you my beloved. I think i'd be dead if it wasn't for you." Abby finished by hugging Ziva close to her chest and a burring her nose in Ziva's wild curls.

"It's over. Everything. We can finally be at peace my love." Ziva said.

"Peace at last? I don't think it'll last very long. There is always another monster." Abby said.

"But we will not fight them alone. We have each other and the team. We will stay together and be happy. I promise, i will do everything to make sure you're happy and safe my angel." Ziva said kissing Abby's forehead.

"Lets go let Gibbs know that you're okay now and put Isaiah back to sleep." Abby said yawning.

"And i think we should get you to sleep, my love." Ziva said getting off of Abby's lap.

"As long as you're coming with me." Abby said getting up and wrapping her arms around Ziva's neck.

"I promise." Ziva said pecking Abby's lips.

(Yes! Chapter 4 done! I have 1 more chapter to wrap up this fanfic and i will have it done, hopefully soon! I made up Abby and Ziva's pasts from my own twisted mind! Hope you enjoyed this fic! Let me know what you think..)