Title: What About Us?

Author: Jade-Max

Summary: After seeing the Wildcats rehearsing - and the hug Gabriella and Ryan share - Troy reflects on the fact that Gabriella seems to be slipping away from him and he doesn't know how to stop it.

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What About Us?

Watching the Wildcats cavorting around the practice room with Ryan in their midst, directing and guiding them through various steps as they looked to be having a blast was amusing - until Ryan took Gabriella's hand and danced with her down the center of the double lines they'd formed. It was like taking a blow to the chest after having been hit once. He'd felt jealousy before when he'd walked in on Ryan and Gabriella playing around by the poolside - and Ryan had put his arms about Troy's girl as if he had the right.

Then it had been a sharp, stabbing pain that had resulted in curt responses and an uncomfortable silence when Ryan had finally left Gabriella alone with him. He hadn't known what to say in that silence as he'd looked at her, wondering when that had happened. Talking with Gabriella had never been an issue; she'd always been the one person he could share any thought with and not be worried about ridicule.

Gabriella was his girl; she was his matched pair - someone to balance out his strengths and weaknesses with her own and gave him the courage to move beyond the roles that were expected of him.

Now, it was like a chasm had opened between them, slowly growing wider and wider and he hadn't a clue how to stop it. She was slipping away from him, even then, and he'd been desperate to hold on - but hadn't a clue how. It wasn't as if he was deliberately moving away from her; he'd tried to call when things had run overly long at the gym, but she hadn't answered. He'd tried to explain just how things seemed to be going his way and all she'd done was criticize - what had happened to the supportive girlfriend who'd always been there before?

Or was it Gabriella that had changed after all? She'd accused him of becoming a new Troy along with the perks that had been allocated him at Lava Springs and hadn't been nearly as excited as he was. He hadn't pegged her as the jealous type, and her tone hadn't held jealousy - but it had held a reserved note he'd not heard before. A critical, disapproving variance he'd never dreamed to hear from her.

Now, as the Wildcats completed their performance, the knife in his chest twisted just a little as they parted to reveal Gabriella clinging to Ryan in an enthusiastic hug. The blade dug in a little more deeply as Ryan set her away - only to drop a gallant kiss on the back of her hand. Her delighted smile said it all. She was enjoying the attention. Which was fair, he supposed darkly; it wasn't as if Troy had been around much in the last week since his promotion, but she didn't have to look like she enjoyed it as much as she obviously did.

Avoiding Sharpay had been easy, but he hadn't really seen her when Gabriella had departed the music room, instead he had eyes only for Gabriella. It had always been that way - the second he'd met her and heard her sing, he'd been enraptured. Now was no different than before; except he now saw her for who she was, not just what she could do.

And it hurt.

It hurt because he was losing her and couldn't figure out why. Worse, it felt like he was losing her to Ryan because of his lack of attentiveness, but if he stepped in now, he'd only seem like a jealous boyfriend. And maybe he was, but the rational part of his brain told him not to be, that he had to trust her and Ryan would never dare to try and take Gabriella away from him. It wasn't in his character.

Still, they were drifting together naturally, much as he and Gabriella had, and it made Troy wary. It was the kind of situation where, for the first time, he truly considered he might lose her. Not because of something he'd done, but because of something he hadn't done. Gabriella and he hadn't spent any time together since he'd been promoted - mostly because he'd been wary of costing her the job she'd wanted so much for summer.

Fulton had made it very clear that since he'd become an honorary member, having anything to do with the other Wildcats - which included Gabriella - while on shift would have dire repercussions. It left him with limited outlets when it came to venting and also meant he didn't spend time with his friends at all. He was uncomfortably aware of the fact he now hit the court alone to shoot hoops unless it was with the Redhawks. And while the College team was something else to play with, he found he missed his Wildcats.

True, College ball was another world of difficulty - except that the moves Troy had learned on his home court with his friends were the ones the College guys praised. They were also moves that Troy himself hadn't come up with on his own and while he didn't mind the recognition, he was starting to feel like he was taking credit for something that wasn't fundamentally his. Yes, those moves belonged to his team, but they weren't his to exhibit.

It was yet another block in the wall - or meter in the chasm - that was growing between he and Gabriella. It was like he was being forced to choose; go for one future and tackle it single-mindedly at the expense of his friendships - all of which were deteriorating - or give up the dream of a scholarship and keep the people who were important to him.

He wanted both and while he believed he could have both somehow, he was starting to wonder if he'd still have Gabriella at his side when school resumed.

His absence didn't seem to faze her - which was good, but didn't do a thing for his ego. She didn't seem to miss him, to even acknowledge the fact he wasn't around as much as he wanted to be. That they spent next to no time together didn't appear to be important on the grand scheme of things, instead she seemed to be intent on simply enjoying her summer.

Not that he could really blame her. This was the first summer she'd been in the same place and she'd told him flat out she intended to enjoy it; he'd simply taken it for granted that she'd meant to enjoy it with him. To be fair they had enjoyed a couple of weeks together, but lately, since his promotion, he didn't know how to reach her. It made him uncomfortable and awkward around her - more so than when they'd first met on stage and it was a feeling he didn't like.

It was the helplessness that got to him most.

The knowledge that no matter what he said or did, there was little or nothing he could do to breech the chasm yawning between them - and he couldn't let her go either. She was the one sane, sensible thing in his world and he needed to know she was there - even if it was from afar. Despite wanting to be with her, while it still felt right, in other ways he knew he didn't dare spend too much time around her lest he jeopardize her job - something he was unwilling to do.

Gabriella didn't deserve to lose her job because of him and he'd already gotten her two strikes due to his carelessness.

Still; he missed her. She was there every day just like the others - yet she wasn't. Before she'd have had lunch with him, spent her breaks at his side... even made a point of simply smiling at him when they weren't able to stop to talk.

Now... now was different. She still smiled, but it lacked something - a luster that had always been a fundamental part of her. There was no longer the effort to go out of her way to search for him to give him a spontaneous hug. To be fair, he hadn't done that lately either - and he was more aware than ever of the gap between them. An enforced gap caused by his status as an honorary member and hers as the club's hired help - an almost elitist gap that made him want to gag.

It wasn't what he'd signed up for.

More and more, as his future and the scholarship thing seemed to be falling into place, did he feel like it was spiraling out of control. Like being caught in a whirlwind, torn from everything that was familiar, without a clue as to where you would end up. It was a feeling he was beginning to hate and didn't know how to escape.

Gabriella, he felt, was the key to escaping it – except she wasn't caught up in the same whirlwind; she was his anchor. An anchor that was slowly eroding... and there wasn't a thing he could think of to stop it.

fin