The Assassin and the Dolphin

Author: jabotus

Rating: T

Pairings: Kakashi x Iruka

Warnings: AU – yaoi (two guys in a relationship), OOC

Disclaimer: Don't own.

'…..' - thoughts

A/N: I don't really like this chapter, but I hope it makes sense in the course of the plot (it's really to set up things for chapter 14). To me, Kakashi feels really out-of-character here so I apologize now if his thoughts seem strange... Anyway, thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far! I would also like to direct your attention to the lovely fanart Feila has made. Here is the link to the picture:

http: www. fanart- central. net/ pic- 580147. html

Just delete the spaces after the ( : ) and ( / ) and ( . ) and ( - ) and add the two slash bars ( / ) after the http:

Enjoy!

Chapter 13

"Full house!" Naruto set down his cards. The other three looked down and blinked.

"Dobe, that's not a full house and we're not playing poker any more. This is euchre. And anyway, how did you get seven four's? You cheating?"

"I'm not cheating." Naruto jumped to his feet in his own defense.

"Figures you would mess up in cheating. Fours aren't even used in this game."

"There were some extra cards over there. I thought they fell out of the deck when you shuffled."

At the reference, Sasuke's cheeks reddened. He and Naruto had been trying to show off while shuffling and Sasuke had ended up sending the cards flying everywhere. It had taken five minutes for Naruto's laughter to quiet enough for them to continue their game.

"I thought you were supposed to be teaching us how to play. If you can't even remember what a full house is…"

"I never said I knew how to play poker, or euchre; just card games."

"Maybe we could try something else," Iruka spoke up though he was getting a little tired of playing cards. There was little they could do in the cave though and he felt obligated to entertain Kakashi. He still felt guilty about upsetting the human last night, but Kakashi just seemed to want to forget it happened.

"I'm hungry."

"You're always hungry," Sasuke grumbled. Just then the dark haired teen's stomach growled loud enough for all to hear.

Naruto pointed and laughed, "Who's hungry!?"

"I guess I can go catch us some fish." Iruka started to rise, only to be pushed down by Naruto.

"No! You stay here. Sasuke and I will hunt."

"I don't want to hunt."

"Hah, you just don't want to be humiliated when I catch more fish than you." Naruto tugged off his shirt, threw it down and ran to the pool. "Can't catch me!" He called out before diving into the pool.

After some hesitation, Sasuke stripped off his clothes and muttered, "He won't be able to carry back enough for all of us on his own." Then he walked over to the pool and jumped into the water.

"So how long do you think it'll take them?" Kakashi spoke up for the first time in a long while. Iruka had noticed that for the last hour or so he hadn't been concentrating too hard on the card game.

"Half hour, probably longer since the fish will get away from Naruto."

"On purpose?" Iruka glanced over at Kakashi in surprise. So the human had picked up that Naruto often played dumb...

"Most likely." Iruka picked up the rest of the cards, neither said anything for a few minutes. Then out of nowhere, Kakashi spoke up.

"Do you really think I'm lonely?"

Iruka paused to look over at him. Kakashi was staring into the pool, his face serious.

"I do."

"Do you really think you can change that?" Kakashi's eyes lifted to meet his.

"I don't know, but I'd like to try. Nobody should have to be alone."

"Was Naruto alone?"

"He'd been abandoned on the beach when he was a baby. I couldn't leave him there to die."

"Why was he abandoned?" Iruka couldn't answer what he didn't know. He hadn't seen who left the baby on the shore. He turned away from Kakashi's gaze.

"Is it because of what he is?"

"I told you what I was. It's for Naruto to tell you what he is, if he so chooses."

"Does he even know?" 'Kakashi is certainly perceptive,' Iruka thought. That was exactly the case. Not knowing anything of Naruto's background, all they could go on was Naruto's…gifts.

"Naruto aside, this is all because you felt sorry for me, isn't it? The reason you saved my life, brought me here, nursing me back to health, all of it."

"…yes."

"I don't need your pity."

"Maybe you do!" Iruka surprised even himself at the conviction in his tone.

"And why would I need it?" Kakashi's tone of voice confused him. He didn't sound like he really cared what the answer would be; like he'd already made up his mind how things should be.

"Because it sounds like nobody else has shown it to you."

"Because I don't need or want it," Kakashi pointed out. "I know who I am and I don't expect you to understand, but your pity is wasted on a person like me."

"Then tell me what kind of person you are because everything I've seen so far indicates you to be a good man." Kakashi laughed, but it was laced with bitterness and sadness. Iruka didn't ever want to hear that kind of laugh again.

"I can't do that."

"Why? What are you afraid of?" Iruka took a chance to look at the sour human. Kakashi looked decidedly uncomfortable and Iruka knew his next words were a lie.

"I'm not afraid."

"Yes, you are. You're afraid of letting someone care about you." No, that wasn't quite right… "You're afraid of caring for someone." Kakashi wouldn't look at him. Instead, his eyes were fixed on the pool. "If you'd let somebody in, you wouldn't have to be lonely any more. Maybe you could even be happy."

"Maybe I don't deserve to be happy. Maybe I had my chance and blew it." Kakashi continued to stare into the icy water and Iruka wondered if he was thinking of jumping in. Kakashi wouldn't live long in the frigid temperature and they both knew that. He wouldn't do anything so drastic…would he?

"You're alive aren't you? Every living creature deserves the chance for happiness. Whatever you're refusing to tell me, whatever you're running from on the surface, it doesn't matter here. If you stay here, you can have a second chance."

"I've lost my right for second chances. Besides you're better off without me polluting your waters."

Iruka was silent. He moved over to the edge of the pool and dipped his hand into the water, disrupting the smooth reflection.

"What if I'm not," he whispered. Glancing up, Kakashi still wouldn't meet his eyes, but he knew the human heard him. 'That was a stupid thing to say,' he thought. But Iruka felt it was the truth. The more he got to know the human, the more he wanted to be around him. Regrettably, Iruka couldn't force Kakashi to like him back and if Kakashi wanted to go back to his home, Iruka couldn't force the human to stay. Kakashi would only hate him then.

Sensing movement in the water, Iruka pulled his hand out. "Sakura's coming." Iruka moved away from the pool just as a head of pink hair broke the surface.

"Hey guys." She called in greeting as she pulled herself out. Once standing, the young merwoman glimpsed from one to the other. "You two certainly seem gloomy. What's going on?"

Neither answered her question. Instead, Iruka said, "Naruto and Sasuke went hunting. Would you like to join us for a meal?"

"I'd love to." She turned to Kakashi, "Now off with that shirt so I can check your wound."

Kakashi winced even though female healer's touch was gentle. The pain killer she gave him just wasn't that strong. What he wouldn't give for some morphine right now and not just for his physical pain. Morphine was also strong enough to block out his emotional turmoil.

Why did Iruka have to be so persistent? Why did he have to care? Damn him for caring! If Iruka had left him to die…or just saved him and left him on the beach somewhere… Why did he have to bring him to a cave where he was forced to get to know him and his friends?

Damn pity. Iruka was too soft and it would get him killed…or it would in the world Kakashi lived in. And that was the real issue. Iruka was right. He was terrified of letting anyone into his life. His way of life was too dangerous for most people, but he couldn't give it up. It was who he was. It was all he had once the only people he'd ever loved died. Kakashi couldn't bear to lose anyone ever again so he kept other people at bay. He never let them get too close and if they did, he ended it, be it a friend or lover. And it had worked…until now, when he had no choice but to spend day after day with the merpeople. He had forgotten what it was like to be surrounded by people who cared for him and he care in return. It was hard to be reminded of how lonely he was.

And then Iruka had to go and fall for him compounding everything even more! Why did he have to say what he did? Iruka didn't need him…or rather he didn't want Iruka to need him. Kakashi didn't want anybody to need him. If they did, he just might begin to need them too…

"It looks good. No sign of infection." Sakura's voice brought him from his mental torment. "Any fever?"

"No."

"Good. Are you eating and getting enough sleep?"

"Yes."

Sakura pursed her lips. "Anything other than fish?"

"Seaweed."

"About three bites." Iruka said quietly. They both looked over at him where he was trying to get a fire going.

"Well, he looks fine Iruka. Keep doing what you're doing and he'll be better in no time."

Iruka nodded, though he seemed preoccupied, much like Kakashi himself was. Sakura picked up on it. Again she looked from one to the other, but only Kakashi noticed.

In a soft voice, Sakura leaned closer to him as if in confidence, "Kakashi, I don't know what happened between you two, but it looks to me like you're both suffering." With that said the pink-haired mermaid stood up and left him to wallow in his chosen corner.

Suffering…she had no idea. Kakashi wanted to hate them all for doing this to him. Bringing him into their circle and asking him to stay. He had previously made up his mind to leave, but now they, especially Iruka, were confusing him, putting doubts in his head. Kakashi couldn't deny a part of him wanted to let go of his old life and start over here. And with every passing hour, that voice was getting louder and louder…

Kakashi glanced over to where the two merpeople were talking in low voices as they built up the fire. He didn't know what they were discussing and at the moment he didn't care. Sakura had seemingly cheered Iruka up pretty fast as he was now smiling. Iruka must have sensed his watchful gaze because he suddenly glimpsed over at him and gave him one of his gentle smiles before turning back to Sakura. He laughed at something the mermaid said. Damn dolphin. That voice was now screaming in his head. It was too late for him to doubt what he felt. If he left now, he would regret it for the rest of his life.

Okay, he had to be reasonable about this. Maybe he could stay for a while longer…just to see where this could lead. Because at this point, Kakashi was already caught, like a fish in a net. The image made him smile. Iruka caught it and gave him a strange look, but didn't say anything.

Now that he'd reached a decision, as temporary as it may be, Kakashi felt some of his tension drift away.

"Iruka?" Iruka and Sakura both looked over at him.

"Yes?"

Before he could say anything, he was interrupted unintentionally.

"We're back!" Naruto dumped an armful of fish onto the cave floor. Four fish…no three fish, as one just flopped back into the water. "Oops." Naruto dove down after it.

Kakashi sighed. He'd tell Iruka later. For now, he better make sure the rest of their dinner didn't escape.