Hey, so I know it's been awhile since I last updated but that's cause the last two months of school have been absolutely crazy, but know school it out! Woo! Although I am suffering from major writers block for this story and when my friend read this chapter she said it was boring, so I apologize now for this horrendous chapter but I really don't know what else to write. If I don't get any response, I might just give up on this story, or put it aside for later (Sorry lovelies) but if y'all have any ideas you would like to share to help me out, tell me what you think should happen, I don't know, anything. Feel free to share because I really need help with this. Y'all are awesome and I am really sorry. I hope maybe you enjoy this chapter a little bit. Also I wrote this really late at night so please excuse any stupid tense mistakes or grammar. We learn about Cas's past, yay! Please review :)

Chapter 8

Cas wasn't quite sure why he waited so long to call Dean. He was just so nervous that he would say something wrong or that Dean would reject him. Although the one thing he wasn't expecting was Sam answering the phone. That completely threw him for a loop but one he quickly recovered from and now he has a date with Dean on Thursday!

The next three days seemed to drag on after that. Paper work after paper work, class after class, it was a never ending cycle. All Castiel could think about was getting to Thursday and seeing Dean's beautiful green eyes again. The English teacher was completely infatuated with the mechanic, leaving Cas waking up with a hard on and having to jack off in the shower almost every chance he got. He's even fingered himself a couple of times to the thought of Dean's dick in him.

Thursday morning, Cas wakes up to a clear sky and beautiful weather. It already seems like the start to a perfect day. Climbing out of bed, he makes his way to the shower with a nice pep in his step. Cas showers quickly and then goes through his typical morning routine, the whole time thinking about tonight. The school day passes quickly for Castiel as his brain is in a cloud the entire time. Even his students notice and whispers are spread around the class as to why their English teacher is so out of it.

By the end of the day, Cas is wound up like a ball of string. His nerves are getting to him and his stomach is full of butterflies. It scares him that his body and is reacting this way to a man he's only known for a couple of weeks, but yet it was also exciting. It seemed like maybe Cas won't end up being alone for the rest of his life.

Once the school day is over, Cas rushes home quick like a bunny. Running through the door, he almost steps on Gingers tail earning himself a nice hiss and swat of claws.

"Sorry Ginger!" Cas calls out going to his closest. He wants to look as sexy as possible tonight without looking like he is trying too hard. After about an hour, and tearing up his entire closest, Castiel has finally figured out what he wants to wear. Checking himself out in the mirror he nods his head in approval. He's wearing tight dark blue jeans that make his ass look amazing, a green shirt that hugs him, showing off his muscles and a black leather jacket. Nodding once, he goes to fix his hair, trying to at least partially tame the wild black locks.

Once all that is done, it is almost seven. All that Cas has left to do is feed Ginger which he does promptly, keeping the orange fur ball from rubbing up against him.

As seven rolls around, the butterflies in Castiel's stomach start to flutter again and Cas ends up pacing back and forth, pulling at the sleeves of his jacket. A sharp knock on the door pulls him out of his thoughts and he takes a deep breath going to the door.

Opening it, Cas is greeted with a grinning Dean, his green eyes shining. Dean looks amazing, dressed in a pair of tight black jeans and a gray button down, open at the top giving Cas a nice view of his collarbone. The gray really makes his eyes pop and the clothes hug all his curves and muscles making Cas's mouth water.

"Hey there," Dean says smirking as he watches Cas reaction. His own eyes travel up and down Cas's body taking in the smaller man. Dean's pants suddenly start feeling tight as he takes in Cas's appearance cause man does the blue eyed thing look hot.

"Hello Dean," Cas says blushing and stepping out of his door, locking it behind him.

As soon as the door is locked, Cas suddenly feels himself being shoved against the door and a pair of warm lips cover his own. Without even thinking about it he responds to the kiss, deepening it. Dean's tongue swipes across his lower lip and Cas opens his mouth right away allowing Dean in. Their tongues wrestle each other for a bit but Dean ends up winning. He then explore Cas's mouth, eliciting a moan from the smaller mans mouth as he pushes his hips against Cas's.

Finally they break apart, panting heavily, lips swollen, and pupils blown wide. Dean smiles wickedly, "You look fucking amazing Cas. I'm sorry I just couldn't help myself."

Cas smiles leaning his head back against the door, "Oh that is quite alright Dean, I rather enjoyed it," Cas says with a wink before pushing off the door and heading to the car needing to get away from Dean before he did something irrational (Like fuck the man on his own doorstep).

Dean grins and follows Cas to his car. Opening the passenger door, Cas climbs in and takes deep breaths trying to calm himself down and urging his hard on to go away. Climbing into the driver seat, Dean looks over at Cas who is looking at him. A gasp escapes Cas's lips as he looks at Dean. The streetlamp is filtering just perfectly through the front windshield lighting up Dean's eyes and causing the freckles to stand out on his face. Cas sits there staring at Dean absolutely awestruck by his beauty.

Starting to fidget under Castiel's piercing blue gaze, Dean turns away and starts the car.

The other day Dean found this cute little restaurant off in a secluded part of the town and this is where he decides to take Cas tonight. Turning down the street, heading to the restaurant everyone inside the car is silent as Dean focuses on driving and Castiel tries to think of something to say.

"So how has your week been so far?" Cas asks Dean trying to break the awkward silence.

Dean smiles "It's been good, just a normal week I suppose, nothing too exciting. How about you Cas? Any crazy teacher stories?"

Cas shrugs, "In all honesty this week has kind of been just one big giant blur. Um…" Cas blushes , "I couldn't stop thinking about tonight. I think even my students noticed how out of it I was."

Dean smiles big and takes Cas's hand in his driving with one hand, "Awe I feel so complimented knowing that I've been on your mind all week." He teases Cas causing the blue eyed man to blush a bright red.

"You ass," Cas says laughing, while Dean just smiles. A few minutes later they arrive at their destination and Dean hops out of the car quickly and going around to the other side opening the car door for Cas. As soon as Cas steps out, Dean wraps his hand around Cas's smiling. A grin lights up Cas's face as Dean leads him into the restaurant.

A hostess is waiting at the front and greets the two with a bright smile, not even blinking at the fact that they were holding hands.

"Reservations for Dean Winchester," Dean says once they approach the lady.

"Good evening Gentlemen, if you will follow me please," the hostess smiles sweetly and leads the two man to a table in the corner of the restaurant. The table is a small round thing, with two candles placed in the center of it. The lights in the room are dimmed making the atmosphere quite romantic. Dean walks over and pulls the chair out for Cas, smiling, his green eyes sparkling in the candle light. Cas isn't even sure what to think at this point. No one has ever been this sweet to him before, this kind. In all his life the only person who was ever this kind to him was his mother, and his memories of her were few. Warmth swells in his heart and Cas feels like he's floating as he sits down smiling at Dean.

Dean watches the emotions pass across Castiel's eyes and he feels his heart skip a little when the man smiles at him. Butterflies fluttered around his stomach as he sits across from Cas watching the man as he reads the menu. Dean knew he was being amazingly sweet and that this restaurant was really fancy and romantic but something just possessed him to do it. Some gut feeling told him that Cas hadn't had it easy growing up and Dean just wanted to give the man something special. He knew it wasn't helping with the whole don't get attached thing but there was just something about Cas that Dean couldn't resist.

After ordering their meals and a bottle of wine, which Dean tries not to grimace at the price looks like it's going to be ramen noodles all week, Cas sets his menu down and smiles at Dean.

"This is really nice, thank you Dean."

Dean smiles "It's my pleasure Cas. I found this place the other day and thought it would be nice."

Cas smiles, "This better not just be a ruse to get into my pants Dean, I can assure you I don't give in quite that easily," Cas says with a wink causing Dean to blush.

Surprisingly, Dean hadn't actually been thinking about sex at all, well at least no more than normal. It would be amazing to make love to Cas but in all honesty Dean just wanted to treat the guy to a nice dinner and get to know him better.

Once they get their food, this is exactly what the two men do. They spend the rest of the night just chatting away, learning new things about each other, but never diving to deep. However as the night progresses and the bottle of wine disappears, Cas feels himself starting to loosen up a bit. A trust he has never felt before builds up in him for the man sitting across from him.

Eventually they finish their meal and Dean snatches the bill from Cas before the man can even blink. Once they have paid, Dean takes Cas's hand again and leads him out of the restaurant.

"Well it's only nine, so what would you like to do now?" Dean asks Cas walking towards the impala, swinging their joined hands back and forth.

"Well, it's a really clear night out, so there is something I would like to show you. It's not far so we can walk."

Dean smiles and nods his head indicating that Cas should lead the way. Cas grins and pulls Dean forward. The two men walk in silence next to each other just soaking up the presences of the other. The street eventually turns into a dirt path and then just a thin warn down trail, as Cas leads them into the woods. The trees sway gently in the wind and the sounds of night life fill the air. Suddenly the trees disappear and Dean finds himself standing in the middle of a clearing. It is almost a perfect circle with a small pond off to one side. The grass is green and luscious; the whole thing is just perfect.

Cas lays down pulling Dean down next to him, gazing up at the stars. Dean feels his breath taken away at the sheer beauty and peacefulness of it all.

"It's beautiful isn't it?" Cas asks his voice soft.

"It is." Dean turns his head and looks at Cas who does the same, smiling a gentle smile.

Not being able to help himself, Dean leans over and places a sweet kiss on Cas's lips. It's not rushed, or forced, there's no tongue, just a gentle kiss between two lovers. They pull away from each other smiling.

Cas turns away first looking back up at the stars. This was the moment when he decided to tell Dean about his past, it was now or never. The way his heart was fluttering, Cas could already tell he was in love with this man, meaning he needed to know in case for some reason he wanted to leave, it needed to happen before Castiel grew anymore attached.

Taking a deep breath he begins, "When I was little, around 4, my mom and I would lay in my back yard together and she would read to me while we lay under the stars. I was so happy, I had the perfect family, a mother who was there for me, my dad who taught me how to throw a baseball and my two older brothers and my sister. It was fantastic until my sixth birthday and that's when it all went to hell. My mother was someone I trusted with my entire being, my older siblings were closer to my father but I was a mommy's boy.

She got diagnosed with cancer, the day after my sixth birthday. She fought hard but ended up passing away three months later. After that I was a wreck. I wouldn't talk and I barely ate or did anything. My brothers and sister tried their best to get me out to the play grounds and such but I never wanted to go. That's when I grew closer to my dad. He would take me to work with him and let me sit at his desk coloring pictures. My father quickly grew to be the new person I trusted in my life. When I turned eight I finally started playing with kids again and talking. My family was so excited. It seemed like everything was getting better. I still missed my mom dearly but my dad was doing a great job as a single parent."

Cas stops and takes a shuddering breath, thinking about his mom was hard but his dad was even worse. He had more memories of him and they all started flooding back now. Dean squeezes Cas's hand encouraging him to go on.

"When I was ten, Michael started getting into some shit with this guy named Lucifer. They would start fights and cause mayhem whenever they were in the same room together. My dad was put under a lot of stress as his job wasn't doing too well and now he having to deal with a miss behaving teenager. It went on like this for two years and I could see it wearing my dad thin. It didn't change anything though, he was still the doting father but I didn't get to spend much time with him. Then Michael ended up getting himself thrown in jail when he turned 19. I was 12 just about to turn 13, Anna was 16 and Gabriel was 18. My dad was a wreck; he didn't understand where he could have gone wrong. I hardly ever saw him anymore accept for at dinner and I didn't know what to do with all the drama. My family was falling apart.

We all went to court together for my brother's trial. He was being convicted of murdering some dude. My father made us go saying he wanted us all to be there for Michael. We were sitting in the front, Gab, Anna, my father and I. The court session was almost over for the day when suddenly these guys just come busting in waving guns yelling that they wanted revenge. No one knew how they got past the metal detectors but they came, guns blazing and all. They first person to get shot was the judge and then my brother Michael. Everyone was screaming. The guards ran towards the gun men, but got there a second too late to keep them from letting off another round of bullets. My father pushed my down under the chairs but in the process he was exposed."

Cas chokes up tears streaming down his face, "the… I watched as two bullets went right though him, one to the head and the other hit his neck. He collapsed on top of me and I watched the light leave my father's eyes. After that, the rest is all a blur. My family had been destroyed, my father was gone and I didn't know what to do with myself. Gab took care of us, since he had just graduated and had a steady job. I closed myself off again; only talking when I had to, only acknowledging people when necessary. It took my freshman year of college before I actually started exploring things again and opening up enough to allow myself to grow a couple friendships, but I never trusted anyone again except for Gab and Anna. I had already lost my mother, my father and my oldest brother. Why should I grow attached to anyone else when they would probably just be ripped from me to."

Cas starts sobbing, the tears streaming down his face. Dean sits up and pulls Cas into his lap, rocking the man back, rubbing his back and whispering soothing things into his ear like he would with Sam when he used to get nightmares.

"I… I just wanted you to know." Cas takes a deep breath wiping his eyes, the sobs subsiding.

Dean feels his heart clench, he wants nothing more than to take that broken look in Cas's eyes away and fill it with nothing but joy and warmth. He wants to promise Cas that he will always be there for him but he can't. He knows this would be a good time to mention that he understood, he understood what it was like to lose your mother and father, but yet the words didn't come. Instead he just sat there holding Cas and kissing away his tears.

"Thank you, thank you for telling me Cas. You need to know that it changes nothing. I still want you just as much as I wanted you before." Cas looks up at him with wide blue eyes.

A feeling of relief spreads out through Cas, when he looks at Dean he doesn't see that pathetic look everyone else gives him when they know about his past, instead he sees understanding and care. He sees what he thinks might be love but he doesn't want to get his hopes up.

Leaning forward Cas kisses Dean, letting out all his emotions out in the kiss. Dean responds right away, falling back in the grass pulling Cas completely on top of him. The two lay there kissing until they both are panting for breath.

After that, Cas just lays there curled up on Dean's chest letting himself regain composure while Dean's fingers gently run through his hair.

Neither one of them know how much time passes but it doesn't matter. Their chests rest against each other and their heart beats echo off each other. Finally, the tranquility is broken when Cas yawns and Dean glances down at his watch seeing that it is almost midnight.

Standing up, the two men hold hands as they make their way back to the impala.

"Hey Cas, are you going to be okay?" Dean asks timidly.

Cas turns and smiles at him, a true genuine smile and all the pain in his eyes are gone, once again filled with the compassion and love that Dean was used to seeing.

"Yes Dean I will be fine. I came to terms with my dad's death a long time ago. Those years are behind me now, they are just hard to talk about. Besides I have you now, and I don't think I have ever been this happy."

Cas was telling the truth. Even though the past was hard to think about, the past couple of years had actually been pretty good for him. Yes he still tended to distant himself from people, but he was quite content with what and who he was. However Dean decided to show up and throw his entire world into one crazy spin of emotions.

The two arrive back at the car and hop in quickly both men now feeling pretty exhausted. Once they arrive back at Castiel's place, Dean gets out and walks Cas to his door, once again holding the blue eyed man's hand, for some reason he just couldn't stop touching Cas.

They get to the door and Cas unlocks it first before turning around and wrapping his arms around Dean's neck. A smiles lights up both of their faces.

"I really enjoyed tonight, thank you Dean."

"I'm glad, so did I, and thank you for trusting me enough to tell me about your past." Dean places his hands on Cas's hips and squeezes lightly as he leans in to kiss Cas. However Cas decided he didn't want some sweet goodbye kiss and instead he kicks his door open and yanks Dean in with him. Slamming the door closed with his foot, he shoves Dean against the wall and starts kissing him with fervor. Dean gasps in shock and tries not to moan as Cas's lean body presses against his.

"Cas…Cas!" Dean gasps out pushing the man away from him gently, "As much as I would love to do this, I really need to get home and check on Sammy. Besides we both have work tomorrow."

Cas was hearing none of it, he hadn't been with anyone in ages and right now he wanted Dean. Slipping his fingers under Dean's shirt, Cas trails kisses down his neck, "Stay, please Dean stay the night. Sam's a big boy, I am sure he can take care of himself for the night. You can leave early enough to get him to school. Please baby stay?"

Dean feels himself getting majorly turned on by Cas's deep, husky voice and by the kisses being layered onto him. He wants nothing more than to say yes, nothing more than to take this god of a man to bed and get as physically close to him as possible, to feel skin on skin. Yet something stops him, some little voice in the back of his head says that as soon as he takes this step there is no going back.

Taking a deep breath, Dean places his hands on Cas's shoulders and pushes him away, "Cas, trust me I want nothing more than to stay but I really have to get home and pack. I will call you tomorrow." He cups Cas's face and kisses him softly, feeling Cas melt into the kiss. Pulling away, Dean sees the cutest little pout on Cas's face and it is literally all he can do to turn around and walk out the door with a goodbye Cas being tossed over his shoulder.

Closing the door and locking it behind Dean, Cas sighs and looks down at the obvious hard on raging on his pants. Pushing off the door he heads to his bedroom to take care of it.

Dean makes his way back to the impala. Each step away from Cas feels like a life time and it takes everything to not turn around and run back to him. Once he's safely back into the Impala, Dean takes a deep breath and runs his hands over his face. Tonight didn't go quite as planned. He had never expected Cas to just open up to him like that. It made everything ten times harder now. There was a connection between the two that no one could deny and now a trust was being built. Good things never lasted for Dean and even though right now the job was going on stable and strong, who knew what next week or next month held. The thought of hurting Cas then next time they had to get up and move was just unbearable but at the same time Dean just couldn't find it within himself to leave Cas either.

Turning the car on, Dean makes his way back to his apartment, not knowing what the hell to do with himself. There were too many things floating around in his head. Maybe this trip to Bobby's will be good for him, help him clear his head a little. Once back at the apartment, Dean goes straight to bed, barely getting his shoes off, and falling asleep almost immediately.