Disclaimer: As much as I'd love to own these characters, they are the works of Stephenie Meyer, except Alexander, he's mine.
Chapter Five: Indifference
Alexander's death did strange things to me.
The morning after his death, I couldn't move. It's not that I didn't want to move, it's just that I physically couldn't.It was as if I was strapped to a hospital bed, like some crazy lunatic being strapped in against their will. I felt as though there was a huge weight holding me down. The weight of guilt. If only I had been paying attention to Alexander instead of Edward Cullen, I might have been able to pull him out from under the chandelier. Yes, the guilt was excruciating.
I didn't get to talk to my dad the night that his death happened, but I was pretty sure he had already heard. There were no secrets in Forks.
I yawned and stretched as I stood up. I went to the bathroom to do my normal human routine. Brush teeth, brush hair, go to the bathroom, et cetera. I looked at myself in the mirror, and I looked horrible. I had purple bags under my eyes from waking up during the night. My eyes were empty, dull, not full of light like they used to be. It was as if my soul had left my body and gone with Alexander up to the great beyond. I washed my face went to lay down in my bed.
That is what I did all day Sunday. Mourn over my lost best friend.
My dad came upstairs a few times to comfort me, but any attempts were no good. I needed a distraction from Alexander's death. Something other than dancing, which reminded me of him, but of course I would still do it. Dancing was my life. Maybe I could start hanging out with new friends? That would be distracting, and annoying. And, besides, none of my friends enjoy dancing. Edward does, but he wasn't my friend. I never knew why I was so attracted to him. Sure, he was good looking, but so was Alexander, and I never looked at him as any more than a friend.
I sighed.
Monday morning came quickly, and I had to get up and go to school, although I didn't want to. I stood up, yawned, and walked to the bathroom to do my human routine. I dressed in a midnight blue blouse, and a cream flowing skirt, and my cream, lace flats, again. I wore my hair straight, and wore no makeup.
The eerie feeling started to arise again. It never really left, but it was more prominent now. I could feel the shivers rack up and down my spine. It was worse than the time in town, like whoever was "spying" on me had gotten so close that my body could sense it. It was nerve-wracking.
I begrudgingly entered my car and started it. I pulled out of my driveway and made my journey towards school.
In addition to the eerie feeling, I started to sense that someone was.. following me. Ha! Like you would get anything from following me to school.
I pulled in the parking lot. I parked my car farther away from the school this time. I exited my car, with my dance bag and school bag, and with a sulking manner, walked towards the school.
I walked into my first period class to see all eyes on me. Obviously they had found out about Alexander. Some maybe thought it was my fault. Yeah, my fault that the chandelier fell on him. Some were looking at me with sympathy, for which I was grateful. Eric tried to start a conversation with me, as well as Mike, but I just wasn't in the mood. I put my head down on the desk, feeling the stares boring into me.
That was basically how my morning went. I wouldn't talk to anyone, because I was too busy mourning, sometimes weeping, over my closest friend of all eternity.
At lunch, Mike tried to start another conversation with me. He was comforting me for my loss. I was grateful for the attention for the first time.
I looked over at the Cullen table, and none of the Cullens looked at me, besides Alice. She had a remorseful expression on her face, like she was upset about something too. Beautiful people shouldn't be upset. Before I could continue that thought, Edward looked at her with deadly eyes, clearly warning her to stop looking at me. How he knew that she was, I don't know, but Alice looked away and didn't look at me again.
That was how is was all throughout February.
All of the Cullens ignored me, and I ignored them. Edward did not speak to me again after he saved me. I was unnerved by this. I would expect him to talk to me more now that we had started talking, but I guess I was wrong.
Mike would walk me to Biology class everyday, and then talk with me before class started. He was a great distraction, as well as Angela, from the pain of Alexander. He would talk about the most random things, and some interesting. But, I slowly found myself laughing at some of the things he said. I thought I'd never laugh again.
Edward, of course, ignored me. Who could blame him? I wasn't interesting, not in the least. Sometimes I could see him clench his fists on his lap, or turn his head towards me. It seemed like he wanted to talk to me, or kill me, for all I know.
Mike also walked me to the music room so I can practice "solo dancing." Alexander always wanted us to travel the world as a duo. Now that he was gone, all I could do was get good grades and practice dancing. He would be proud if I stuck with dancing rather than giving it up, at least for now.
I was now starting to think of college life without him. I realized that the only reason I wanted to go to college and live a normal life was because Alexander was in it. Now that he was gone, why would I want to go to college? Maybe I will become a professional dancer. All I had to do was find a new partner. That was going to be tough.
The spring dance was coming up, and I didn't really want to go. That didn't mean that a bunch of boys didn't want to ask me.
I first heard about the spring dance from Jessica at lunch one day.
"I really hope Mike says yes to my invite to the dance. We would look really good together, don't you think Bella?" I nodded. "I don't see who else he would ask. There is no one prettier. I wonder what kind of dress I will buy. Maybe one of those long and elegant ones. No, that's too proper. Maybe a shorter one, and leave some room for the imagination.." she ranted on about the dance and Mike. All I could do was watch her like an idiot. She sure did talk fast.
Mike walked me to Biology, blushing every now and then. He would also look over at me every once and awhile, like he was scared I would run away from him. I mentally chuckled.
We walked into the classroom and I took my seat next to Edward, and Mike crouched down next to me, like he did everyday.
"Jessica asked me to the spring dance," he muttered.
"Wow! That's great! You'll have so much fun with Jessica," I said with fake enthusiasm.
"Well.." he trailed off.
"What?" I asked in confusion.
"I told her that I didn't know," he told me, another blush rising to his cheeks.
"Why would you do that?" I asked, interested.
"Well, I was hoping that.. you might ask me." His blush got deeper.
I noticed a few things at once, my stomach started to churn, Mike's blush got even deeper, and Edward Cullen's hand turned into a fist on his lap. His head was turned towards me, like he was anxious to hear what I said.
"Mike.." I started, "I don't think that is a very good idea."
Mike's face fell at once. He looked so sad that I debated on changing my mind, but I didn't want to start a conflict with Jessica, or anyone else for that matter.
"Did someone else already ask you?" His tone was angry.
"No, I am not going to the dance at all. In fact, I am going to a hotel to dance as entertainment." I told him smoothly.
"How are you going to dance if you don't have a partner?" he asked rudely. I could've sworn I heard a quiet growl next to me.
"I am going to find a new one," I spat at him. He cringed. Good.
"I can be your dance partner." Hope swelled in his voice.
"Sorry, no. I need someone who can dance phenomenally and in time with me." I told him, crushing his hopes. "So, you shouldn't make Jessica wait any longer, it's rude." I told him while looking down.
"I suppose you're right," he muttered. He trudged back to his seat.
I put my hands to my forehead. Just when I was starting to get myself distracted out of thoughts of Alexander, he just had to bring it up again. Now a whole round of thoughts about Alexander and my guilt soared through my mind. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Edward relax his stiff position.
I put my head down for the rest of the class.
When the bell rang I got out of my seat without hesitation. I rushed to the music room so I could practice dancing for the hotel dancing. Just as I was about to walk in the separate room, Tyler caught up with me.
"Hey, Bella!" he yelled.
"Yes?" I replied hesitantly.
He started to put his hands on my hips and around my back. I was definitely not comfortable with such contact. He started to sway his hips back and forth, in a slow dancing motion. I tried to pry his hands off of me, but he was too strong.
"What are you doing?" I probed him.
"Practicing." His voice was cocky.
"For?" I questioned.
"The dance at the hotel," he told me smugly.
"Since when are you going to the hotel to dance?" I asked him.
"Since you turned Mike down," he smiled. Then I got it. He thought that since I turned Mike down, that I wanted him to be my dance partner.
"Just who do you think you are trying to tell me who is going to be my dance partner for the dance at the hotel? And, how did you find out anyway?" I challenged.
"Oh, well, Mike told me. I thought you wanted to go with me," he said.
"No, Tyler. I need a really good dancer to go with me. And, if I can't find one, I am going solo." My tone was not apologetic at all.
"Oh well. We still have prom." And, with that, he sauntered off. Oh, he was cocky indeed.
My jaw dropped as my eyes followed him as he walked out of the classroom.
The whole music class was staring at me as well as the teacher. I saw Alice Cullen giggling in her seat, and Edward Cullen was on the verge of laughing. I glared at them before I walked off into the next room.
The rest of the period was spent solo dancing to modern music. The people at the hotel told me I would be dancing to more modern music, unless I get a dance partner. So I danced to a few dance songs I knew. The bell rang, I changed, and started to walk outside.
"Bella?" a musical voice came from behind me.
I turned around to see Edward sitting on a bench by the door. He looked so sad.
"Yes?" I asked.
"I know I have been acting rudely for the past couple of weeks, but you must know, that it is for your own good." His voice was so beautiful.
"What do you mean?" I challenged.
"It means that if you were smart, you would stay away from me," he replied.
I turned around to walk away, but, just my luck, I ran into a pole. I looked down at my arm, and it was bleeding. It wasn't that
He stood up and walked over to me. He got closer and closer until he was flush against me . He put his lips to my throat, and started to inhale. My heart fluttered, a blush crept up to my cheeks, and my stomach had butterflies. He started rubbing his lips back and forth across my throat. I felt even more eerie than I had ever felt, but I couldn't make him stop.
"Stop me, Bella," he muttered roughly.
All I could do was breathe faster as his tongue darted out and left a trail of cold, wetness on my throat. He was so dazzling, I almost lost consciousness. His teeth came through his lips, as if he were about to bite me.
"Run, Bella!" he said to me in a louder voice.
This time I took his warning by turning around, removing myself out of his arms, and running towards my beetle. I pulled out of the parking lot, not looking back.
I got home and locked the door in fear. He seriously had scared me to death. He was definitely something else. No human I know would go up to someone and start licking their neck. He was something, but what? I made it my "mission," if you can call it that, to find out the hidden mystery to Edward Cullen.
I made Charlie dinner that night. I made him lasagna, one of his favorite dishes. We talked about what he found up county. He said the "animal" that was reported was some sort of human. After that, I walked upstairs without another word, when Charlie interrupted me.
"Bells?" he inquired.
"Yeah?" I asked.
"Did anyone ask you to the spring dance?" Yes, it was only in a town this small that the dads knew about when their child's spring dances were.
"Yes, but I am not going." I told him.
"Why not?" he probed.
"Don't you remember? I have to dance at the hotel." I was starting to get annoyed.
"But, how are you going to dance without Ale-" he started, but the words were already out.
My face twisted in pain. Once again, someone had to bring up the source of my guilt.
"Either I'll find a new dance partner, or I will dance solo." I blushed.
He looked sorry. "Okay, Bells. You going up?" he asked.
"Yes. I will talk to you tomorrow. Goodnight, dad." I told him.
"Goodnight, Bella," he said quietly.
I walked upstairs to do my nightly routine. I walked in my room, and crawled into my bed. I pulled the covers over myself and fell asleep quickly.
That night I felt as though I wasn't alone throughout my dreams.
AN: Hmmm, Edward gives more hints that he is a vampire. Reviews are love!! :D