AN: There is a small Harry Potter spoiler in here. If you have not read Harry Potter and you are going to, I suggest you read wisely. (:
Disclaimer: As much as I'd love to own these characters, they are the works of Stephenie Meyer, except Alexander, he's mine.
Chapter Eleven: In Depth
The rest of the week passed by like a blur, what with Edward's endless questions on my life. The look on his face was hard to avoid whenever I was answering his interrogations. The look of utter fascination took place on that God-like face of his. It was rather cute.
I remembered that tomorrow we were supposed to go to the hotel ball, but I also remembered I had a sprained ankle. I was supposed to be with Edward. I swallowed. I was getting nervous about being alone with him.
That night I continued to read Harry Potter. It was getting quite ironic, hitting the climax where Professor Quirrell revealed himself as being the holder of what was remaining of Lord Voldemort.
I was totally engorged into the story that I almost didn't hear the tap on my window. Once I heard the tap I stood up and hobbled over to my window. There was nothing there, except a lone note taped on the outside.
I was feeling extremely curious and frightened at the same time.
I opened my window and pulled the note off of the window. I gasped when I read it.
I know what you are up to.
There was no signature, no indication of who could possibly stick a note outside my second-story window and get away fast enough so I couldn't discover the culprit.
I stayed up almost the whole night trying to figure out what that could possibly mean.
It seemed as if someone knew I was hanging out with Edward, and that I knew he was a vampire. If no one knew he was a vampire besides me and any other vampire, then it was someone of his species. It absolutely had to be. Unless someone has been profiling me for the past week and neither I nor Edward had known about it. I was pretty sure Edward would know about it, considering he was a mind reader. At least I had somewhat of a verdict.
But, I had no idea if this vampire, or vampires, were dangerous or not. I debated on telling Edward about it. I knew how bad his temper seemed to be. Plus, he was a vampire. I had no idea what he was capable of.
But, then again, it could be no one. It could be just some fool trying to scare me. Trying to pull the "I am spying on you" card. However, what were the chances that someone would tell me that when I did have something to hide. And if anyone knew about it, I could be done for, possibly. They must've had a reason they didn't tell anyone they were vampires.
If there was someone being serious about this, then it must be someone that had a grudge against me or Edward. I was sure that Edward has met many people in his life that held something against him, and they could be finally be taking it out on me and not him.
I didn't seem so sure of the truth anymore. There seemed to be millions of possibilities.
I fell asleep conflicted like that.
My dreams were very unambiguous as well.
Alexander came back to my dreams. His words actually sounded like warnings now, instead of just calm nothings.
"You are in for some very big surprises, Bella," he started, sounding ashamed.
"Whatever do you mean?" I questioned, shocked.
"That note on your window." Alexander looked back up at me.
"Do you know what that was about?" I asked him.
"They just said it was workings of Satan himself. They said nothing else." Alexander revealed to me.
"Who are 'they?'" I probed him, getting more and more abashed the more he spoke.
"The ones associated with death. You know, demons." Alexander's voice trailed off. I knew then I was starting to wake up, but I saw a mental image of Alexander walking away.
"Wait! How do they know!" I literally shouted.
I woke up, sitting up quickly. I looked over to see my window open and my curtain rising against the wind. I never did get an answer to my question. What did Alexander mean? Demons are involved with the note on my window? They know? Why would they seek out to possibly harm me?
I didn't acknowledge the questions in my head very soon after that. I was expecting Edward to come and get me. I started to get ready.
I ungracefully made my way to the bathroom to take a shower and clean myself. I shed my clothing off and hopped into the shower, immediately soaking in the hot water. It was extremely soothing, the water working it's way through the muscles in my back. I sighed at it's effects.
I put shampoo in my hair and lathered it up. I quickly washed it out and conditioned my hair. I always loved the way my hair smelled when I used my hair products. It smelled like strawberry, my favorite fruit.
I washed out the remains of the conditioner and washed my body with soap, besides my crippled ankle. The soap smelled of freesia and another flower I couldn't recognize. I loved the smell, very tantalizing.
I washed away the excess products from my body and got out of the shower. I wrapped a towel around my hair and around myself. I debated on what to wear and what to do with my hair. For my hair, I decided to curl it and twist it into a side ponytail that had the curls wrapping around each other. For clothing, I decided on a white blouse matched with a deep green sweater, paired with some white jeans. Since I didn't know where we would be going, I pulled on some boots that I hardly ever wore, watching my bad ankle. I wanted to be prepared for anything, even for something as preposterous as the note from last night.
I really wished I hadn't thought about that, because that brought on a whole new round of worries and insecurities.
I didn't have a lot of time to dwell on those dark thoughts, because the door bell rang. My heart gave a sudden lurch. I had a pretty good idea of who it would be.
I grabbed my crutches and limped down the stairs. I tried to get to the door as quickly as I could. As soon as I reached the door, I opened it faster than I could ever move. And the person standing there confirmed my theory.
Edward looked especially gorgeous today. He had on a pair of blue jeans that fit him perfectly. He had on a maroon button up shirt and a dark blue blazer over it. He looked like one of those boarding school students. I had to admit, he would make students at a school like that look like paupers.
"Good morning, Bella." Edward's seductive voice pierced the air, breaking me out of staring at his body. I could tell he knew, because he chuckled.
"Are you ready to go?" he asked. I was grateful that he didn't voice my ogling. I was already embarrassed enough.
"Yes." I smiled at him. I was in a happier mood now that I was with him, note forgotten.
We walked to his shiny silver Volvo, and he opened the passenger side for me. I wasn't used to men opening doors for me, except for Alexander, being the gentleman that he was. Other than Alexander, men basically expected me to serve them. They would have a hard time accepting that if they lived in the early 1900's. I giggled mentally.
I slid in, murmuring a thank you to Edward, and settled in my seat. Out of my peripheral vision he put my crutches on the back. He was already starting the engine when I looked over.
"Where are we going exactly?" I probed him warily.
"Well, it is a surprise. It's a place I like to go, day and night." He looked over at me and smiled suggestively.
"Not one hint?" I looked over at him, teasing him.
"Nope. I want it to be a surprise. I want to see what you look like when you see it." He laughed quietly, seeming to relive a recent memory. I didn't question him on it.
We rode silently for awhile. I was thinking about where we were going for quite awhile. I wondered what it would look like when we got there.
"Is Phoenix really nice?" Edward asked all of a sudden.
"Absolutely." I answered shortly.
"Describe it." Edward practically begged for more. What else did he need to know?
"Well, it's where I have lived most of my life. It's very sunny and hot. I have never seen snow in person until I moved here. There is no snow there. It rains very little, maybe three or four times a year. When it does rain, it really only drizzles. It's also dry, the source of that being the desert. If you would go to the desert, it's absolutely beautiful. I always loved looking at the animals there. There weren't any of the animals that are here down there. For instance, deer. I have never seen so many deer anywhere in all my life! No one really ever wore long-sleeved clothing down there, except when we went to an indoor ice rink." I went on about Phoenix. He seemed to be listening intently.
"I wish I could go there," he stated simply.
"Well then why don't you go there?" I asked him.
"Well, us vampires, we cannot go out in the sunlight. At least, not where anyone can see us. It doesn't hurt us, but it does make us more alien. I suppose I will be showing you that today. Unless you are scared." He looked at me, and immediately knew he was half teasing, half serious.
"Is it dangerous?" I challenged.
"No, it's just overwhelming." He smirked.
"Well, I can't wait to see it." I added some extra enthusiasm to my voice, to show him that I wasn't going anywhere.
"So different.." he trailed off.
"What was that?" I smiled at him, encouraging him to tell me what he meant.
"You are not like others." That was all he said.
I smiled at him. It seemed the both were doing a lot of smiling today. Maybe today was going to be an interesting, but fun day. I smiled wider.
We were silent once again, but it wasn't awkward at all. I rather preferred the silence. It was comforting. I liked that Edward wasn't the type to fill the silence with mindless speaking, like Jessica.
We reached our seemingly strange destination when he stopped the car at the end of a road, with a thick forest spread out ahead. He got out of his car and walked over to my side to open my door. He helped me stand up and gave me my crutches.
"Do you think you will need those? We are hiking through the forest, and I don't want you to fall. Could I possibly carry you? If you wish." It was always about me. He seemed like he really wanted to carry me though. I was willing to oblige. Any excuse to have him holding me.
"No, I don't think I will need the crutches, if you are willing to carry me." I chuckled in amusement.
His face brightened up. He put my crutches in the car, and scooped me up in his arms, being carefully aware of my ankle. He was cold, I was going to admit, but he felt safe. I liked the way he felt while I rested in his arms. He acted as if I was light as a feather. He looked down at me with a smile enlightening his face.
He started to walk through the forest at a fast human pace, keeping me absolutely steady.
"Are you ever going to tell me how old you are?" I asked him. I actually really wanted to know. If he was immortal, I wanted to know how much he has seen in his long life.
"I will. I want to see you reaction to me today. Then I will tell you more." He compromised with me.
"As long as you promise." I muttered.
"I promise." I was shocked that he heard that. I guess that I would have to get used to his extra sensitivity sooner or later.
He started to walk faster, about as fast as a slow human jog. I rested my head against his chest, listening to his breathing. In, out, in, out. It seemed like a rhythm that I would dance to. I started to hum a melody along the beat of his breathing. I didn't even realize it until he said something.
"You have such a beautiful voice." He said with emotion. I blushed.
"Thank you." I mumbled and rested my head back on his chest. He sighed.
I continued to hum absentmindedly. I thought I heard an echoing hum above me, but I wasn't quite sure. It could just be my mind playing tricks on me.
After what seemed like awhile, I started to feel him walk slower.
"Do you see the light ahead?" he asked me in a quiet whisper.
"No..?" I asked, partly as a question.
He chuckled, "I should've known. It may be a bit soon for you to see."
"Just a little bit." I retorted softly.
All too soon, he stopped walking. I opened my eyes and raised my head from his chest. I looked at my surroundings, and gasped. We were still in the forest, but at the edge. Just a few feet away was the start of a large field. A circular, flowery meadow. It shined in the sun, and the many species of flowers blew gently in the breeze. I was almost blind-sighted by the beauty of such a place. I now understood why Edward liked it. It had such a relaxing composition to it. I was suddenly curious as to what it looked like at night. I bet it was worth being her for.
Edward cut me out of my thoughts.
"Overwhelming, isn't it?" he whispered, not wanting to ruin the moment.
All I did was nod. There were no words for the beauty that was the meadow.
The next thing I knew, I was sitting in the middle of the array of flowers all alone, no Edward in sight. I started to look for him around. I suddenly saw him in the shadows at the edge of the meadow. He was looking directly at me. If he was correct about the sun, then he must've been preparing for the moment of truth. How climatic.
I continued to look at him. He had his blazer and maroon top open, showing his marble chest and abdomen. I had never seen anything more beautiful in all of my life. Suddenly, Edward stepped out into the sun.
The sight was absolutely astounding, breathtaking.
He shone like a diamond, making the meadow look like a burnt field. Millions of sparkles embedded his skin, making him look like a rare piece of artwork. He walked towards me, sitting down a few feet from me and lying down on his back. I continued to stare, blinded by his beauty. If I thought he looked his most beautiful before, I was wrong. He looked his most flawless, gorgeous right this very moment. His eyes remained closed as he relaxed into the grass and flowers.
"You aren't scared?" he asked me all of a sudden.
"..No. I don't think I am. I am more blind sighted than anything." I answered him, believing that he was a dream.
"Maybe you are just in shock. I wouldn't be surprised if you ran away after we left." He sounded so sad as he said this.
"No, I don't think so. It's just so pretty." I murmured.
All he did was smile and continue to lay there. I took a deep breath of the air around me, and realized that his scent permeated the atmosphere. His scent smelled of honey, lilac, and lavender. I started to lean further into him. He surprisingly allowed it. Well, I guess I shouldn't be surprised. He carried me throughout the forest for possibly a few hours.
I knelt down beside him and started to stroke his arm up and down. He sighed in what seemed like pleasure, and smiled. I reciprocated the smile on his face. He looked so peaceful that I felt the urge to stop touching him and just look at him. He could probably pass as sleeping.
I looked up and watched the clouds move by slowly, trying to decipher shapes from the formations. I saw a horse, a cat playing with a ball of yarn, and a boat.
I looked back down at Edward to see his eyes open, staring at me.
"What?" I asked him skeptically.
"Nothing, Bella." He said my name like it was sacred. I smiled inwardly.
A few moments later he started again.
"What are you thinking?" he asked. He sounded like a weight has been lifted off of his chest as he sighed in what seemed like relief.
"I was thinking about you, actually." I admitted weakly.
"What exactly about me?" he asked gently.
"I was thinking about the obvious things." That was all I said. I was too scared to admit my feelings for him.
"What are the obvious things?" he seemed to be getting anxious.
I said nothing in return. I continued to stroke his hand like I hadn't heard him at all. I continued to think what I was going to say to him, when he let out a heavy sigh of frustration. I could tell he was about to start talking, but I quickly opened my mouth before he did.
"The obvious things.. is that I am scared." I admitted.
"I should've known," he frowned. "I don't want you to be afraid, Bella."
"I'm not afraid of you. I am afraid of what the future may hold." I tried to explain, but my throat kept cutting me off every time I tried to voice my deepest thoughts.
"Whatever do you mean? Afraid of the future?" he probed.
"I mean.. that I am scared that I might like to.. stay with you. Even though I know I can't. I am afraid that I want to be with you, regardless of everything that may happen." I blushed hotly as I admitted my even deeper thoughts.
"That is definitely something to be afraid of. Wanting to be with me. That would not be the best idea." He sounded like he didn't believe the words he was saying.
"There is another thing." I continued on with my confession.
"Another..?" he questioned.
"Yes. Well, I am also afraid because.. I sometimes get the feeling that you will abruptly leave out of nowhere. I just think that you are a dream and I will wake up sooner or later. I don't want that to happen. I mean the leaving part." I looked down at my lap. I noticed I was still stroking his arm up and down, the diamonds shining on my skin, reflecting his.
"I don't think I can leave anymore, Bella," he replied.
"I'm happy." I smiled in my happiness.
"You shouldn't be!" he nearly shouted. That really hurt, so much that I felt nervous in my chest.
"Why?" I asked him, trying to hide the hurt.
"You must never forget that it's only selfishness keeping me here. Never forget that I am more dangerous to you than I am to anyone else. I propose a bigger threat on your life than anyone else on this planet!" he said seriously. I couldn't help but take him seriously.
"I don't understand." I answered him stupidly.
"I am more dangerous to you than I am to anyone else. How should I compare it?" he asked himself, becoming thoughtful again.
I waited for him to think of something. I continued to watch his face as he thought of a way to explain it to me. He had a very interesting face, what with all the emotions flashing across his features. He seemed to finally come up with a cognition.
"Let's put it this way. Say you had a starving man. He has been locked up in a cell for weeks, with nothing to eat but bread and water. He is craving something extra to make him feel satisfied. Suddenly, he is shown this huge feast. The thing he has been craving for. He sees it, but he cannot have it, but he wants it. It smells and looks absolutely delicious compared to what he has been eating. That's what it is like for me, with you." He finished.
I didn't say anything, because I didn't quite understand yet.
"Sorry for the food comparison. Shall we try something more realistic?" he asked himself again.
"Ah, how about a recovering alcoholic? He would be craving alcohol, and then in front of him is the best alcohol available, but he couldn't have it, because he recovering. It's forbidden to him. That's what it is like for me, as well." He tried to explain.
"So, what you are saying is, that my.. blood.. is more tempting to you than anyone else's?" I asked him incredulously.
"Yes." He seemed relieved that I finally understood.
"So, is that why.. on the first day.." I trailed off.
"Yes. It took just about everything I had to not jump up in that small room and kill you, not to follow you home from school, not to take your life's nectar." He looked down. He looked utterly ashamed.
"Why not?" I asked him. Why was he denying what he wanted? It made no sense.
"Pardon?" he asked quickly.
"Why didn't you do those things?" I asked him, like it was obvious.
"You really don't see yourself the way I do, do you?" he challenged.
"What do you mean?" I demanded.
He was silent for a few moments. I waited patiently, thinking that what he had to say must've been important.
"I.." he started.
Seconds passed.
Moments passed.
"I.. could never live with myself if I ever hurt you. I.. have never felt this way about anyone. You are the most important thing to me now. The most important thing to me ever." If he could've blushed, he would've. It would've reflected mine. I was blushing hotly now.
Inside, I was rejoicing. He basically just admitted that he had feelings for me. I never thought that this would ever happen to me. I felt as if a huge balloon had been blown up inside me, for the feelings were to much to hold. They made me smile in joy, but I quickly tried to hide it. I had a feeling he saw it though.
"Well," I started, feeling I should voice my thoughts now, "you should know that I feel those things.. too. I'd rather die than stay away from you." I admitted sheepishly.
He frowned, and groaned. "This is so wrong."
"It doesn't feel wrong." I argued.
"Don't you see, though? I should be staying away from you. I should be making you safe, instead of endangering your life. I should leave." He sounded like he didn't want to. I felt relief at his tone, because I didn't want him to leave.
"I want you to stay." I voiced my thoughts again.
"Don't worry, I'm an abnormally selfish person. So I will stay, as long as I am being selfish." He told me, sounding disgusted with himself.
I looked down and smiled. I was totally and utterly speechless. I looked at his hand in mine and traced the length of each of his fingers. I continued to trace my fingers up to his wrist and started to stroke his forearm.
"You can't comprehend how nice that feels." He cut me off from my abstraction.
"Nice what feels?" I asked stupidly.
"The warmth. The reason I come here during the daytime is to soak up the heat of the sun when it is out." He smiled timidly.
"And you don't do that anymore?" I delved myself into his inner thoughts, trying to get him to tell me.
"Not lately. I have found a new source of warmth. And I must say, it is amazingly pleasant." He beamed at me, showing all of his perfectly white teeth. I smiled back at him. I had a farely good idea who his new source of warmth was..
"Tell me what happened as to how this came to be. Like, how did it start? The first day, obviously, but I want to hear the rest." I told him my desire. My desire to hear his side. Truly understand what has been going on with him.
"Well, the first day was probably the worst. Maybe it was because I was unprepared, but it was painful nonetheless. Like I said, it took everything in me not to kill you." He looked up at me, probably making sure I wasn't getting scared.
"So is that why you were gone for a few days?" I continued.
"Yes, that is why I was gone. I went up to Alaska. I was so ashamed with myself for being so weak, that I left. I couldn't be around the ones that mattered to me most, my family for that matter." He went on, becoming quiet. "I stayed with some family friends, but I couldn't get the picture of you out of my head. So, I came back, ready to face the demon inside me. There is a reason though.." He became silent.
"Which is?" I probed.
"I was curious about you." He admitted.
I was quiet then. I simply had nothing to say.
"Anyways, when I talked to you that first day, I found it that I found you interesting. You captured me, always reacting in a way no other would actually do so. You captured me like you captured those arrogent males," he growled.
"I don't understand why they found me enthralling. If I am not like them.." I went on.
"That's exactly it. You are not like them. They had never met another girl that was like you. It seems you had the same effect on me." He smiled up at me daintily. "You don't see youself clearly."
"Well, it is me. Aren't I supposed to know myself better than anyone else?" I joked lightly.
"Some people can be more aware of you than you yourself." He looked so smug.
"I'll take it that person is you?" I questioned my theory.
"I have been paying a lot of attention to you, I will admit." If he could've blushed, he would've. It was such a cute look on his face. He actually looked like a boy.
We sat there in silence, smiling at each other. We basically just admitted our feelings for each other, indirectly. Our grins made us look like the two most idiotic fools in history. He cut off his eyesight from mine as he looked down.
"Does it hurt for you?" I asked him, my voice cracking slightly.
"Not when I am used to it. Usually it's just the surprise that hurts." He explained to me.
"Does it hurt now?" If he was actually in pain because of me, I thought I might've cried. How melodramatic that would be. The last thing I wanted for him was pain, because if he knew it or not, his pain was mine.
"Not really. Like I said, I am used to it." He gleamed. I exhaled in relief.
I looked down again at his hand in mine. I realized I had stopped stroking, and started up again. He returned the favor and stroked my hand back in a gentle gesture. I had to admit, his cold hand felt nice against my skin.
"Is being near me any hard?" I challenged.
"Well, let's see. May I try something?" He asked for permission as he moved closer to me. Like I would ever say no to him. I nodded weakly at his simple request. He kneeled down in front of me and started to run his fingers through my hair. His touch was very gentle. He occasionally moved his fingers over my neck, and then he started to stroke there. The feel of his flawless fingers felt like heaven on my skin. I thought it was more because it was him, over the fact that his hands were colder than ice.
"Stay still." He requested simply. I froze in place. He moved even closer to me, so that his chest was almost touching mine.
He started to go from my neck to my shoulder in slow torturous movements. He finally made his way down to my arms and wrapped his hands around my biceps with ease. All of a sudden, he pulled me close to him, and wrapped his arms around my shoulders in a very delicate way. I wrapped my arms slowly around him, forgetting about being still.
And that was that.
It seemed like the longest time as we sat there and held each other. He had his face buried in my hair, while my whole head was hidden in his chest. His arms seemed to tighten over time.
And then, much to my displeasure, he pulled away.
"It won't be so hard again." He smiled down at me, keeping a grip on my arms.
"Was that hard for you at all?" I felt I should know if he was okay.
"Not really. What about you?" he asked nonchalantly.
"No, it wasn't bad. For me." He chuckled as I tried to stand up, but ended up wobbled and almost falling over. Had it not been for Edward's arms, I would've broken my other ankle. I totally forgot about my ankle.
He chuckled again, standing along with me.
"It's almost dark! How are we going to get back before it gets dark?" I asked him, hoping he had a solution.
"Afraid of the dark, Bella?" he teased.
"No, I just don't want to get lost." I admitted, blushing.
He picked me up all of a sudden and made his face come really close to mine. "Perhaps, I can show you how I travel." He suggested.
"Travel by bat?" I felt so stupid. He laughed extremely loudly in response.
"Vampires don't turn into bats, Bella. Hollywood's version of a vampire is ludicrous." He looked disgusted and amused. "Would you like to see, anyway?" He sounded abruptly excited.
"Sure." I replied.
He pulled me closer to him, and then he was off.
I have never seen someone run so fast in all of my life. It was as if I was riding an extremely fast roller coaster.
Not even two minutes later, he stopped quickly.
"Well, what do you think?" His voice was higher than normal, excited.
I didn't answer right away. I was trying to collect myself so I could talk to him.
"Bella?" Apparantly not quick enough.
I still didn't answer. I felt as though I were about to throw up. He pulled me around so he could hold me so I was facing him.
"Bella..?" he asked again.
I opened my eyes to look down into his eyes. They were perfectly golden and smoldering. I was lost in them.
Before I knew it, our faces were leaning towards each other. He got so close that I took a quick breath before he took my top lip between his and kissed me.
It was the most incredible thing I had ever felt in my entire life. His arms tightened in a gesture that seemed like he wanted to keep me there. He started to kiss me harder now, more frantically. His lips parted in a way that made me part my lips back, ready for him to..
He broke off, breathing heavily.
"Oh my God," he murmured. Murmured so quietly that I almost didn't hear him.
He pressed his lips to mine again, and kept going until I needed air. He moved his mouth to my throat and kissed along my neck. He didn't stop for a long time. When he did, he moved back to my lips and kissed me again. This time with more confidence. I was absolutely incoherent, for I was too far under..
I hadn't even realized he stopped when he said, "Breathe, Bella."
I took a breath.
He looked absolutely satisfied.
"Shall I take you home?" he asked me, unsure.
I nodded. He carried me to the car and sat me in the seat, buckled me in, and ran over to his side.
However, before he drove off, I felt extremely eerie again. A feeling I haven't felt in a few weeks, or months even. This eeriness was different though. It felt like a warning, somehow.
I quickly forgot about it though, as I looked at Edward again.
AN: I don't think I did a very good job on this chapter. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIIIIIEWWWWWWW!!! I love them, they are encouraging. (: