"Hey, Bernie.."

"Penny! Hey! How's the therapy going?

"Oh, uh, great. How've you been?

"Oh, you know. I asked Howard clean the apartment this morning and you know what he did? He played on his Xbox all day. I swear to God, Penny, its like he can't even do the littlest..."

"I think I'm in love with Sheldon!"

There was a shocked silence on the other end of the phone.

"What?!"

"He's just..so..." Penny's voice quivered.

"Hang on. I'm coming round!"

"...I can't stop you, can I?"

"No."

"...bring liquor."

"Penny!"

"Hey Bernie!"

Penny hugged the sweet smelling blonde and allowed her to rush past.

She dumped the two bottles of wine on the counter and spun round.

"Sheldon?!"

"Hang on."

Penny pulled down a wineglass from the cupboard and filled the glass full of the ruby liquid, drinking it all in one. She slammed her glass down and shuddered.

"Penny, its not a shot."

"I know that, Bernie. Now. Where d'you wanna start."

Bernadette sat down on the couch, raising her eyebrows.

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe you should start with the part about how the hell, out of all the men on the planet, you're in love with Sheldon?"

Penny poured herself another glassful of wine, and leant against the top as the sipped it, swirling it round thoughtfully.

"I don't really know how it happened, honestly. He's like an annoying little bug that you can't get off, but when y'do finally manage to flick it off, well, it makes you sad because its gone..."

Penny's face crumpled.

"No crying!" Bernadette snapped. Penny's head snapped up.

"You tell me the whole story and no tears!"

Penny snorted with laughter.

"God Bernie, you'd make such a good mother." She said, wandering over to the couch and sitting next to her. Bernadette gestured for Penny to carry on.

"Bernadette...do you think he feels the same way?"

Bernadette chewed her lip.

"Penny...I mean, it's Sheldon. Is he even capable of a crush?"

"I don't know. But I do know now he'd never admit it even if he did. Maybe it's hopeless." Penny slumped backwards.

"It's not hopeless!" Bernadette chirped. "Here's what we're gonna do."

Penny rapped on the door to apartment 4A.

"Oh hey Penny. You want to join us?" Leonard asked. Penny saw Raj wave a fork at her in the background.

"Oh hey Raj. What's up."

Raj's eyes widened, and he stood up and stiffly walked to the fridge, hiding his face with the open door. Penny chuckled to herself, and turned back to Leonard.

"No, I'm not stopping. I just came by to tell you that I'm having a little party at my place tonight. Nothing too big, just inviting a few friends over. You guys wanna come?"

"I'll definitely be there." Howard smirked from across the room.

"Hey Slimeball, you're married now. No more..being slimy."

Howard shrugged, turning his attention back to his food.

"We'll be there, thanks for the invite Penny." Leonard murmured.

"Leonard!"

"I'll see you later Penny. Sheldon summons." He smiled in mock delight.

"Cool. Well, party starts at 9. But.. Don't actually turn up at 9 this time."

"Well, um, what time should we be there?"

"Say 10?"

"Ok."

Leonard went to shut the door, but it was blocked by a boot.

"Wow. Those are new!"

Penny smirked, glancing down and admiring her feet. The boots were just above knee length, with sharp heels raising her up at least three inches.

"Yeah. Hey, I forgot to mention. The party's themed."

"Oh cool. What's the theme?"

Penny grinned mischievously. She beckoned Leonard closer, leaning down to murmur in his ear.

"Creatures of The Dark." She whispered, her sweet breath tickling his head.

Leonard shivered, staring after the blonde girl even though she had gone into her apartment long ago.