Hey everyone! This is - embarrassingly enough - my first fanfic. For those who haven't read my profile just yet, I am on an exchange in Switzerland!
Sorry for incorrect word use and grammar mistakes! Please tell me if you see any. It would be super embarrassing if they remained incorrect.
** AND AFTER YOU'RE FINISHED READING THE FIRST CHAPTER, PLEASE SEE THE AUTHOR'S NOTE AT THE END OF THE CHAPTER. Thank-you.
Onward with the story:
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.. as much as I would love to
I now proudly (chest puffed out like a penguin) announce the first chapter of Broken Clay Pots...
--Chapter One--
Inuyasha's back was to her. Kagome couldn't see his face, but she knew his attention was elsewhere. She couldn't help but feel curious, and yet a little fearful; what could possibly wake Inuyasha in the middle of the night and lead him away from their group?
She had woke up in the dark, her eyes immediately going to the branch where she knew he had escaped to as soon as they had made camp. But only silence and an empty space had greeted her.
And so, she had gone out in the night, looking for him. Blinding, stupidly, like a little lamb scared of loosing its strong protector. It wasn't like he wasn't able to take care of himself; he had made that clear time and time over again. But in her heart, she still feared for his safety.
She reached her hand out slowly towards his still form, unable to help herself. "Inuyasha…?" His name came out softly, barely audible in the silent night. She opened her mouth to say something to him, anything to gain his attention, only to close it again, feeling unbearably silly.
She watched his still form uneasily, doubting herself. How could she had been so stupid to think that she, a little school girl, needed to check up on a warrior like Inuyasha? She was suddenly grateful she had not made her presence clear to the hanyou; how would she be able to explain following him into the heart of a forest in the middle of the night?
Curiosity?
She silently thanked the large tree to her right that was safely hiding her current location on the edge of the meadow in which he stood, her body veiled in its massive shadow. The wind seemed to be absent, carefully concealing her presence to his sharp senses.
A familiar tingling suddenly ran up her spine, unmistakable in its meaning, alighting her panic and confusion. How could Inuyasha just stand there while something was coming in their direction, with jewel shards, no less?
Unless he hadn't sensed it yet…
"Inuyasha, there's something…" She began, fright constricting her throat. But she stopped when a figure stepped gracefully from the bushes, right in front of the silent hanyou.
Oh. So that was why he snuck out in the middle of the night.
Kikyo showed no signs of surprise at seeing Inuyasha there, her pale features seeming even more ghostly and yet delicate in the eerie light thrown by the few soul collectors that floated around her form. She walked with inhuman elegance to stand closer to him, the white and red material of her chihaya and hibakamas barely rustling with the effort.
Inuyasha stared at the dead woman in front of him, all of the old pain and guilt rising up to cloud him in their dark shadows. He had once loved her, loved her with all of his heart, and had trusted her without a doubt. Kaede had warned him that she was not the same woman he had fallen in love with, but he had ignored her. Kikyo was still herself, even if the only thing that was keeping her in this world was her deep hatred for him, and even if she reeked of graveyard soil and old human bones.
Because no matter how hard her expressions had become, or how deep her bitter resentment lie, she was still the first person he had ever loved or trusted.
And she had died because of him. And that was something that cast another blanket of guilt on his already weighed-down back.
He could only stare at her for a few unbelieving moments, the shock relaying in his wide golden eyes. Unable to put together a few words, he found himself reaching slightly forward with a hand that meant to soothe. "Kikyo…"
Kikyo's eyes hardened at the soft whisper of her name, a cold smile turning up the sides of her mouth. "Were you looking for me, Inuyasha?" She asked coolly.
He didn't seem to hear the sour sarcasm in her tone. "Kikyo, what are you doing out here?" He asked, a small frown of worry appearing on his brow.
Kikyo's smile disappeared as she took in the concern in his expression. "I have been merely traveling, Inuyasha. Obtaining jewel shards, just like you and your group," She pointed out calmly, her brown eyes like ice.
For a moment, he was paralyzed with the insight of her actions. Even though Kikyo sought for his own demise at her own hands, she would not embrace death until the one man who had murdered her was lying in his own grave first. And to do that, she was collecting jewel shards.
And putting herself in inevitable danger at Naraku's hands.
He took a hesitant step towards her, his frown deepening slightly. "Kikyo, you shouldn't…"
She laughed bitterly, the harsh sound of it echoing off the trees. "Are you starting to worry about my welfare now, Inuyasha? I assure you, it's not wanted."
Her words were like frozen daggers, and the pain they inflicted reflected in his golden gaze. "Kikyo, you need to be protected," He growled in frustration to her cold words and their meanings. "And I can't do that if you're going around, looking around for jewel shards and putting yourself in harm's way!"
Her frosty eyes narrowed slightly. "Are you sure I still need protection, Inuyasha?" She asked icily. "Think what you may, but I do not need of your so-called protection. It is my pathetic reincarnation you allow around you who needs it."
He didn't seem to her hear last words, only registering her bitter resentment to their innocent relationship fifty years ago. "Kikyo, I am the only one who can help you!"
Kagome gasped for her next breath, her insides suddenly squeezed tight in a ball of pain and understanding. She could only watch the two, completely paralyzed in her grief. She had known Kikyo was always on his mind, but seeing it confirmed like this again tore into her already damaged heart.
"Stop trying to convince yourself, Inuyasha," She scolded him harshly, although her shoulders dropped slightly, and her expression became vulnerable.
The next look Inuyasha gave the dead priestess stunned her into silence it was so agonizing. Before she could comprehend and stop his advancement, he grabbed onto her cold hands with his large warm ones. "Kiyko," He half pleaded, his tone much more softer than before. "Don't do this."
She looked away hastily. "I do not have a choice."
He gripped her hands a bit tighter, trying to grab her attention once more. "Then I'll go with you."
At his soft words, her gaze flew back to his face; shock the dominant emotion in her usually dead eyes. "Inuyasha," She whispered, but nothing came after his name. She was at a total loss for words.
He looked uncertainly down at their hands. "Kikyo, I can't just leave you to do everything by yourself. Let me go with you; you won't have to worry or be afraid anymore."
When he looked up with burning golden eyes, Kikyo took an involuntary step back. "No, Inuyasha – " She whispered weakly.
In one movement, Inuyasha had her in his arms. Laying his cheek gently to one side of her head, he whispered, "Stop trying to push yourself away from me."
Her arms wound around his chest of their own accord, and she found herself leaning into him for support. "Do you really mean it, Inuyasha?" She asked, uncertainty laced in her faint response.
"I would die for you," He whispered back, closing his eyes. He held her there, memorizing the feel of her small body against his. This may not be the same Kikyo I fell in love with, but it's her real soul. Nothing can change that.
Kagome's heart squeezed tighter, restricting her breath intake. Tears squeezed their ways out the sides of her chocolate eyes and ran without mercy down her cheeks. Oh, Inuyasha…
Kikyo softly pulled out of Inuyasha's embrace to lock gazes. Lost in golden orbs, she leaned forward slowly and pressed her cold lips to his, one hand reaching out to cup one side of his face.
Kagome couldn't watch anymore. Feeling a sob rise in her throat, she clamped both hands over her mouth and turned away, leaning against the large tree's trunk for support. Her knees started to buckle and she leaned over in attempt to close the gapping hole in her chest where her heart used to beat. Her tears flowed over her hands and slowly fell to the forest floor.
Inuyasha sighed when Kikyo suddenly pulled out of the kiss. "I have to go," She told him slowly, her voice softer than before.
"Kikyo, let me come with you."
She shook her head as she took a step out of his embrace. "No, there is one thing I must do before I come for you."
He stepped forward. "No – "
A heartbreakingly sad smile graced her lips. "I will come for you in three days."
She didn't wait for him to respond; the dead priestess took another step back and allowed the glowing tails of her soul collectors to wrap around her fragile body. Within seconds, she was high and out of reach; a small figure against the measureless dark sky.
"Kikyo!"
Fighting off another wave of agonizing pain waiting to engulf her in its dark shadow, Kagome ran. But just as she ducked blindly into the bush, she shot a last glance backwards.
Inuyasha was lost in thought, staring up at the heavens. To the retreating girl, the great warrior Inuyasha almost looked lost. The poor half demon boy; a deceased human mother and great demon father haunted his thoughts, a full demon brother who threatened his very existence, the forever feeling of not belonging anywhere in the world, a first love gone terribly wrong, a lover brought back from the dead to cause him pain. Kagome couldn't possibly understand, and yet she stayed by his side, regardless of what he did or said to unintentionally tear at her heart.
She had tried to mend the deep wounds and break down the tall wall he kept his heart encased in. But now, she realized, that she could never fully revive him. He was never hers to begin with, and she was never fated to be with him. Only the one who made the wounds could fully bring him back to life, and that one woman had come to him, giving up everything to be with him.
Kagome's tears had slowed, but they slowly dripped down her cheeks and onto the cool night ground. Still holding her chest tightly, she sprinted through the forest. The moon was bright, lighting her path as she raced blindly back to the camp where the others were deeply sleeping. She couldn't face Inuyasha now, not after what she had just seen. She loved him, and she knew it, and that was why she told her suffering heart no. She couldn't put herself and him through that all over again. They had been through this, maybe a hundred times, but somehow she couldn't recall a time that was that painful.
Her footsteps slowed as the campfire's dim light came into her line of sight. Along with it, she saw the huddled figures of her friends, eyes tight, their breaths coming and going slow, indicating deep sleep.
Kagome silently tiptoed past a sleeping Sango, who was leaning against a transformed Kirara, and a snoring Miroku, who was leaning against a tree, whispering incoherent things in his sleep. She slipped into her sleeping bag, trying not to wake a slumbering Shippo.
She let out a soft sigh when she realized that no one had woken, and then snuggled deeper into the comfort of a soft blanket. Hugging the small kitsune to her chest, she let the tears flow again, and wept silently into the darkness of the still night.
/--------
"Hey, Kagome! Wake up!" A voice broke through the dark velvet curtain, and Kagome woke groggily, her eyes opening and slowly focusing on the girl in front of her.
"What's up, Sango?" Kagome half whispered, rubbing her eyes free of sleep.
"You slept in. Come on, Inuyasha's getting impatient." Sango gestured towards the half demon perched on top of the tree that Miroku had been sleeping against last night.
Kagome fought to keep her despair from showing in her telltale eyes in attempt to save herself from unwanted attention and questions. She took a shaky breath and sat up, forcing a smile on her usually-perky face.
"Kagome, what's the matter?"
The young priestess looked up into the concerned gaze of the demon slayer, mentally cursing her lack of convincing acting skills. "Nothing," she replied quickly.
"Kagome — "
"Yo! Are we ready to go now?" Inuyasha's impatient voice broke through the tension.
Sango shot the young girl a concerned look that stated she was not going to give up. Kagome mentally sighed in defeat and reached towards her best friend's out stretched hand. After being hauled up, she quickly packed her sleeping bag away in her bag and then replaced the yellow backpack on her back.
"Ready." Kagome nodded hesitantly in Inuyasha's direction, not daring to look at him.
"Kagome!" Shippo jumped onto her shoulder, bubbling with excitement, as the group started walking.
"Hey Shippo." Kagome visibly winced at the broken tone in her answer.
The young fox frowned. "What's wrong, Kagome?"
Kagome looked down at her feet, searching for an answer that would satisfy the young demon. She also noticed that Inuyasha's ears had perked up, waiting for her answer.
"I… uh…" Kagome stuttered.
"She has another one of her tests to do in a couple of weeks. It's really important, Shippo," Sango offered.
Shippo shook his head. "I don't understand why you keep worrying about those stupid tests, Kagome. They couldn't be as scary as fighting youkai, right?"
As the priestess nodded to Shippo's words, she shot Sango a grateful smile. The exterminator only nodded mutely in response.
Miroku caught the unspoken tension after Shippo's innocent questioning and mentally noted to talk to Sango after girls' talk. Kagome's spirit seemed dangerously low, and he could only guess what was wrong. A part of him had a distinct feeling her mood had something to do with Inuyasha.
The said hanyou was about twenty feet in front of them, walking all alone. He had been strangely quiet all morning, and only pushy when it came to leaving time. Noticing the abnormal look of enlightenment and calm peace upon his face, the monk instantly guessed Kagome's despair tied in with the dead priestess too.
Miroku nodded solemnly to himself. Of course, this makes sense. Inuyasha saw Kikyo last night and Kagome saw them together.
With a frown upon his face, Miroku shook his head again, feeling pity for the poor girl. Inuyasha really didn't know how to deal with his feelings. Every time Kikyo and Inuyasha met, somehow Kagome found out and a fight would erupt in between the two. Remembering this, Miroku vaguely remembered that there were no shouts in the morning between the two. Only tense silence. That isn't a good sign.
Sango walked along side Kagome, with Miroku on her left. Her thoughts wondered to the broken girl beside her. Never had she seen Kagome this way, and it scared her. She found against the urge to take the girl aside and find out what was going on. But then again, doing it like that would be rushing it, and she realized it might not do any good. For some reason, she knew it had everything to do with Inuyasha. Making Kagome confess to everything out in the open would damage the girl's feelings even more, and worse; Inuyasha was there. He would hear everything and that would ruin everything. Sango knew some things were not for boys to hear. She would have to wait.
Inuyasha gritted his teeth, taking in a harsh breath. He really didn't want to be there. It was making him anxious to be so far away from Kikyo when she had something to do. Something he didn't know about. He constantly worried about her, but now he was barely fighting off the urge to run off and look for her. He held back though, knowing it would just anger Kagome and then they would have another infamous fight ending in him getting sat. And that was something he wouldn't take lightly in his new mood.
Inuyasha glanced behind him at the rest of his group. Miroku was walking beside Sango with an evident frown on his features; Sango was looking off into the distance; and Kagome was staring at the ground, her eyes hidden by her bangs, but by the tense set of her lips, he could tell she was upset or nervous about something. Shippo was perched on Kagome's shoulder, playing with a shiny rock he had found, not completely oblivious to the silence, and Kirara was trotting beside Sango, unaffected by the mood.
His eyes returning back to Kagome's form and her half-hidden facial expression, he wondered what was going on with her. He turned back around to stare at the long road that was laid out in front of him, his mind on last night and his sudden fear to be alone with Kagome. He knew that he would have to explain everything to her before Kikyo came for him. He would make her see that he did care for her, but he owed his life to the dead woman; she had come after him and died for him. That is not something that could go unnoticed. This final ending was something that he had always been dreading. He knew it was going to break the poor girl's heart, but it was something inevitable. Kikyo and him were destined to be together. Fifty years ago it was obvious, and now, in the present, it came noticeable to him again. Love was not something to be taken lightly. He was willing to give up everything to be with the woman he loved, and he knew he was going to be giving up his friends: Miroku, Sango, Kirara, Shippo… Kagome. Telling her face-to-face would be the best way, he reasoned glumly. If I could only summon up the courage…
** A/N: Okay, I know most of you are like, "Jesus, this says it's a Inuyasha/Kagome fanfic, not a clay pot/Inuyasha one!" At the beginning, I really couldn't understand why people just read the first chapter and then left after that.
Now I know.
NO, NO, jesus christ no! THIS IS NOT A KIKYO/INUYASHA FANFIC! I throughly promise you. I just find it easier to write drama when you've got a little pain and guilt involved!
Once again: THIS IS A INUYASHA/KAGOME FANFIC!
Give my story a chance and try - as excruciatingly painful as it is - to get past the first five chapters. My writing improves drastically, really!
Read and Review, and give me your opinions!
No flamers, though, please. I will not hesitate to respond to your hateful review and give you a piece of my mind. =)
Love you all,
bumble, xxx.