Finland answered the door the next morning to see his friend Estonia holding a plate of Christmas cookies.
"ESTONIA!"
"Hey Finland," his glasses-wearing friend replied "Sorry I couldn't make it to the party last night. I still wanted to bring you these cookies though."
"Thank you Estonia!" Finland beamed and gave him a hug "That's so sweet of you! I will treasure these cookies for ever and ever!"
"Or you could just...eat them...Oh also, this was on your doorstep."
No f(reproduce)ing way.
There was no possible way that insane, creepy Magic 8 Ball that he had tossed off MountHalti last night could be on his doorstep this morning.
...except that it was...
Finland took it from Estonia with trembling hands. With horror in his heart he turned the Magic 8 Ball over and read the answer circle.
-H'llo again, m' wife-
"WAHH!" Finland shrieked before tossing the Magic 8 Ball back behind his head with embarrassment. "Ah ha ha, thanks Estonia! I...hadn't expected to see this again...ah ha ha. Wow, these cookies you brought me sure look delicious. Isn't it just crazy how delicious cookies are?"
"Umm...Finland..." Estonia turned his head to the side in puzzled concern. "Are you sure you're doing well?"
"Yah! Of course! I'm happy as a holly sprig, can't you tell?" Finland half squeaked before breaking into nervous laughter. "Why wouldn't I be doing well?"
Estonia started to back away "No...no reason. Well, okay then! See you later Finland."
"Okay! Thanks again for the cookies!" Finland stood fake-smiling in the doorway before turning back into the living room and slamming the door behind him. He looked over to the Magic 8 Ball, sitting so innocently in the middle of the floor. With shaky legs he walked over and picked it up.
-Wh't's wr'ng m' wife?-
"Umm, listen… Magic 8 Ball…Please don't make such unpleasant jokes. You're scaring the sleigh bells off of me!"
-…b't we w're 'ngaged…-
"Hah, well, you see…you may have proposed to me last night, but I didn't actually say yes. So actually we're not engaged. I'm sorry for the confusion, and I'm flattered and everything but-"
-…ya d'n't rememb'r?-
"Umm…remember what? Look, I've never been engaged to anyone, okay?"
-…-
The silence was even more uncomfortable than when this crazy 8 ball was talking.
"Ha ha! So yeah, um…anyways! Now that we covered that we're not engaged-"
The vacant frightening scowl from last night reappeared in the answer circle.
"AIHHH! Alright, you know what, creepy Magic 8 Ball?" Finland picked up the toy and ran to his closet. He opened the bottom drawer filled with unmatched socks and buried the Magic 8 Ball inside.
"I'm really sorry," Finland explained as he slammed the drawer shut and sealed it with 6 rolls of duct tape "…but I have major anxiety issues and I can't deal with these kinds of things. I'm fragile, okay? So just stay in this drawer in the closet and don't come out!"
Finland yanked the closet door closed and sunk to his knees. "I can't live with this thing! You would think no toy would freak me out since I'm Father Christmas Finland and everything, but I don't think I've been this scared since the furby craze a few years back!"
He shuddered at the memory. Oh heck, the furbies. He remembered that he was so freaked out by the insane, furry bird-like horrors that he had to ask someone to ride with him on the sleigh the Christmas he had to deliver them.
Who had been the one who had ridden with him again? Some…person…some tall guy… Denmark? No, it hadn't been Denmark. That would've been a BAD idea. Denny would've taught the toys all sorts of outrageous things to say before they even got under the Christmas tree.
Finland couldn't remember exactly who had ridden with him. Right now he was too freaked out to care. Why did he have to open a new present at the white elephant gift exchange last night? Couldn't he have just swiped something safe that was already open like the toolbelt or the scented candle? Stupid spontaneity!
The fright was too much for him right now, he needed to stress-eat. Where were those cookies Estonia had given him?