It was several days later when Harry approached Hermione and Ron. "I need to talk to you guys—in private," he whispered.
They nodded and followed him upstairs into the drawing room.
"I need your help. I've been thinking about it and I've decided I want to see my parents' graves." Harry said pausing, anticipating the reactions.
Hermione didn't disappoint, "Oh, Harry you can't! You know it isn't safe for you to leave Grimmuald Place. I know you want to see your parents but it isn't safe!"
Ron didn't disappoint either, "Mate, are you mental? Hermione's right, you can't leave!"
Harry looked at them calmly and said, "I know how dangerous it is. I know better than either of you what will happen if the Death Eaters catch me, but I need to go. Ever since the graveyard I've just had this burning desire to visit them. I can't explain it, but I need to see them. To talk to them. And I need your help to get there."
"Our help?" Hermione asked confused. "How could we help? We aren't allowed to use magic, you know that? And people would notice we were missing."
"I know, but that wasn't what I meant. I don't know where Godric's Hollow is. I need your help to find it. When we were cleanin one of the rooms I nicked a map. All I need to know is where to go and I can get there. I need you to help me find it. And I'll need you to cover for me when I go."
Hermione looked at Harry, incredulous, "And how exactly do you expect to get there? How are we supposed to cover for you if you end up needing to go over 100 kilometers away? Be realistic, Harry!"
"Hermione," Harry said quietly, looking her right in the eyes, "I saw someone be murdered in front of me last June. And when Voldemort dueled me some kind of ghost—Dumbledore called it an echo—of my parents showed up. They talked to me, protected me. I have to see them. Please, 'thena?"
At the sound of her nickname, Hermione crumbled. "Alright. I've read about it and I know how you can get to Godric's Hollow. It's actually not that far from here, as Eris you could probably get there in an hour or two."
"Thank you. Really. And I promise to be safe." Harry said, deeply relieved.
"How exactly are you gonna do that?" Ron asked bewildered.
"With this," Harry said holding up a small potion vial. "I gave the twins my TriWizard winnings and they told me they'd make me there silent partner. They gave me some of their products before the summer started. This potion causes an explosion. It won't hurt anybody, but if I throw it at the ground it will cause a bright light and an extremely loud sound and it will cause a whole lot of smoke, enabling me to transform and hide."
"And how exactly are you going to take that with you?" Hermione asked. "Your form is a small kitten, where exactly are you going to keep a potion vial?"
"Come on, Athena, you know better than that. When we were messing around last year you're the one who came up with that pouch for us to carry things. I just need you to tie it to my collar before I leave." Harry said looking at her with a raised eyebrow.
"Alright, but how are you going to leave the house without anyone noticing?" Hermione said, trying to find fault with the plan.
"I'm going to hang around the door and race out when someone is coming in. And that's how I'll get back in too."
"Ok, mate. We'll help you out." Ron said, ending the discussion.
The three spent the rest of the day planning for tomorrow's trip.
Early the next morning, a small black kitten with emerald green eyes could be found hiding next to the front door. Harry had been waiting almost an hour when the door finally opened. He took his opportunity and shot past her straight out the door into the courtyard.
He thought back on yesterday's planning session and focused on the directions Hermione had laid out. He allowed his mind to wander while he ran as fast as he could towards the place where he had once been loved. He thought about all that had happened this summer and how much of his life he wanted to share with his parents. He was so into his thoughts he didn't notice when he actually arrived at the cemetery until he ran smack into a headstone.
That never happened Harry thought rubbing his paw against his forehead, silently thanking that Ron wasn't there to see that. Now that he was paying attention, Harry noticed where he was and a lump appeared in his throat. Focus, I just need to find them, he coached himself mentally.
Harry walked around the cemetery looking for the familiar names when he caught the sound of someone sobbing. Harry instantly became cautious, straining his ears to hear what was happening.
"I'm so sorry. I can't believe I was so stupid. I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Was that…Sirius? What was he doing there? But the moment he thought that, he knew the answer, probably the same thing I am. Harry mentally debated over his next course of action when he finally decided that he had come too far to turn back now. He silently transformed back into himself and approached Sirius, placing a hand on his should. Unsurprisingly, Sirius jumped and turned, ready to attack.
"Who are you and what…Harry? What are you doing here? How did you get here?" Sirius asked, completely bewildered by his godson's presence.
Harry smiled, "Probably the same way you did, when no one was looking," he said wryly.
"Harry," Sirius scolded, "you know it's dangerous for you to be out here…why are you looking at me like that?"
Harry just looked at Sirius and said, "Are you really going to lecture me about being out in public in plain view?"
"I suppose not," Sirius said with a chuckle. They both turned to face the graves and sat in silence.
After several moments of silence, Harry spoke up, "She didn't have to die, you know? I hear her in my head when the dementors come near me. Voldemort was going to let her live, but she wouldn't let him kill me."
"You remember that?" Sirius asked, aghast. "And of course she wouldn't give you up! Your mum and dad loved you. They would never let that bastard get you! And don't you dare blame yourself! Your parents were targets long before they even knew that you were coming."
"If it's not ok for me to blame myself, why is it ok for you to blame yourself?" Harry asked quietly, watching Sirius' face, "You said it yourself, they were targets. Even if you hadn't made Pettigrew the secret keeper they might have been found eventually. You can't blame yourself for trying to protect them."
"Maybe not for them, but I can blame myself for you," Sirius said, his voice cracking. "If I hadn't gone after Wormtail, if I hadn't been so stupid, you and I would have been a family. You wouldn't have the whole world on your shoulders."
"You know, there's this saying I heard one 'of all the words of tongue and pen, the saddest are what might have been.' You can't waste your life away wondering 'what if.' You need to accept life the way it is and try to make the most of it."
"When did you get so wise?" Sirius asked, both shocked and slightly amused at the idea of being lectured by his fifteen year old godson.
"It happens when you spend so much time around Athena," Harry said with a smirk, not realizing what he had just said.
"Athena? Who's Athena?" Sirius asked, completely confused.
Shit! Harry thought in a panic. What do I say? I can't lie to him here!
Sirius seemed to sense Harry's sudden panic and told him, "Easy, pup. You don't have to say anything if you don't want to."
Harry took a deep breath and said, "No, I think I do need to tell you. In first year, after Hermione became friends with Ron and me, we decided to try to become animagi. At first it was to be able to get away from all the people staring at me, but later when we realized just how much trouble I can get in, we trained all the harder. We all achieved our forms last year, just after the first task. I'm a cat, Ron's a dog, and Hermione's an owl."
"Wow," Sirius said shocked. "You really do take after us, don't, you? But that doesn't explain who Athena is."
"It's Hermione," Harry explained. "We gave ourselves nicknames, just like you guys did. We named each other. We named Hermione Athena for the Greek goddess of wisdom. It helps that the sacred animal of Athena is an owl. We named Ron Aeneas. Aeneas was the son of Aphrodite who was the only survivor of Troy. He was guided by the gods to found the kingdom of Rome and became known as one of the greatest heroes to ever live."
"And what about you? I can't help but notice you have left yourself out." Sirius prodded, hoping for a response.
Harry scowled, "My friends think they're so funny. They named me Eris, after the goddess of Discord and chaos. Said it was fitting, considering how much trouble I get in. And even more so when I turned into a black cat."
Sirius laughed hard. "Oh that's great!" He wheezed between his laughter.
"Yeah yeah. And they gave me a bracelet that has a single charm on it, a golden apple. And somehow it ends up on my neck when I'm a cat."
Sirius, still laughing, asked, "Why a golden apple? Seems kind of random."
"The golden apple of discord. It was one of Eris' best tools for spreading discord." Harry grumbled good-naturedly. "That's how I got here though. I ran as Eris. And I'm guessing you came as Padfoot."
"No actually, I apparated. Lot quicker," Sirius snickered at Harry's disgruntled face. His expression soon grew serious, "Harry, I appreciate you trusting me like this. It means a lot, especially after…"
"Sirius," Harry said firmly, "I know the things I said were harsh, they needed to be, but let me tell you something: I don't blame you. Would it have been awesome for you to have raised me, yea, but you didn't and I don't like to dwell on what almost happened. It's totally pointless and all it does is make you feel bad. The important thing is that you are in my life now. You might have missed a lot but you are here now and that means a lot."
"Really?" Sirius said skeptically "How can you possibly forgive me that easily?"
"Because, you lug, I never blamed you in the first place. Now, if you are quite done being stupid I think it's time we went back. We should come back out here again sometime. I feel strangely more at peace now that I've been here."
"Me too." Sirius said quietly as the once more lapsed into silence.
After a few silent goodbyes the two stood up. Sirius' face broke into a mischievous grin as he said, "Race you back to Grimmauld Place!"
Harry looked at his godfather, one eyebrow raised, "Do you know the way to Grimmauld from here?" One look at Sirius was all Harry needed to know that he didn't. "I guess you're going to have to follow my lead."
The two made quite a spectacle on the trip back, people staring at the small kitten being chased by a large shaggy dog that would occasionally jump on the kitten and lick it until the kitten was hissing and trying to scratch the dog on the face.