"Ay-ay...ah-tah..." the furbies purred in unison as the horde started stepping forwards Finland, who was secured to the wall of the hospital room with a straitjacket.

"No! No please! Don't come any closer! I'm fragile and probably about to die of smallpox anyways! Actually death by smallpox sounds really, really good right now in relative comparison!"

"Doo-ay...dah-ee-tah..."

"Look! I don't speak Furbish so I really don't know if you're asking my favorite color or requesting very personal information about what is inside my holly berry boxer shorts...but whatever you're saying I would really appreciate it if ya would say it to me from a farther distance...like maybe on the other side of the world teleconferencing or something. Better yet, how about ya just don't say anything to me at all?"

"Ah, ah-may...doo-moh?"

"I can't help but get the vibe that the last request of yours was somewhat less than decent."

The furby-horde's eyes all closed halfway and began swirling.

"Me...CHANGING!" Random images of cows, cherries, cloverleaves and screwdrivers scrolled through the furbies' pupils like slot machines.

"Oh no, no no no no..." Finland shook his head "Ya need to all stop that right now or it's automatic 'naughty list' for all of ya for at least the next five years."

The slot-machine scrolling stopped. The furbies' eyes opened, now all containing pupils that resembled malice-filled commas.

"Dah-noh-lah." Sunglasses materialized on the furbies' faces as they started making a mad dash across the room.

"AIHH!" Finland shrieked, coherent words no longer sufficient to express his terror. Their glowing eyes were coming straight at him like headlights on a truck hurtling towards a trapped dear on the roadside-

-until a speedy black blur flashed past and knocked all the furbies over like bowling pins.

"AIH-huh? Holy canned crayfish I can hardly believe it!"

Finland's eyes were ablaze with amorous admiration sparkles as the Magic 8 Ball proceeded to roll down the advancing swarm before frying them all into smoldering piles of fur with his laser vision.

"My hero!" Finland sighed wistfully as the Magic 8 Ball singed off the restraints holding Finland to the wall. "Oh 8 Ball," Finland took the small sphere up into his arms once he was free "Ya really are magic, aren't ya?"

-Only because your eyes cast a spell on me.-

"8 ball..." Finland felt tears rise to his eyes as he stared deep into the answer circle as if it contained the answer to all of his life's questions...

...because, Finland now realized, it did.

"Magic 8 Ball?"

-Yah?-

"I...I just realized, I don't need to fall asleep to find my dream guy. All of my heart's wishes are right here in my hands. I'm sorry, I was going to say so, but then a bunch of Russians came storming through the window right after the chapter cut off."

A bright pink heart appeared on answer circle and the Magic 8 Ball started shifting through the rainbow color spectrum.

-...Really?-

"Yah. Magic 8 Ball...I think...I think I..."

An alarm went off somewhere in the distance and the sound of combat boots stomping echoed off from a nearby hallway.

The Magic 8 Ball hopped out of Finland's arms and rolled between him and the door.

-Run m' love.-

"But-"

-The window is broken open. Run. I'll hold them off.-

"No! There's no way I'm leaving ya here!" Finland reached down to pick the 8 ball back up.

-Don't.- The Magic 8 Ball rolled away from him. -I'll…join ya. Ya need to run and get the…escape vehicle…started.-

-...so we both can escape.-

"Oh! Okay, teamwork! Got it. How do I get to the escape vehicle?"

-Ya run straight out into the forest, and then ya run some more. Fast.-

"Okay! Run, and then run some more! Understood, I will not let ya down. I'll be waiting for ya my love!" Finland cried as he climbed out the window and made a mad dash for the forest.

He fell for the "escape vehicle" trick...Cute... thought Sweden as he spun around to see a shady silhouette fill the door space.

"Vell he'll be vaiting a vhile, von't he? Oh vell, no vorries. I still have this syringe of smallpox that I can go after him vith once I'm done crushing your plastic covering like an eggsh-SH(OOTBASKE)T!"

Russia flinched as a shot of laser vision incinerated the syringe of smallpox, leaving it a noninfectious pile of soot that fell through Russia's fingers.

"Vell you just saved the World Health Organization a lot of money. Good job on that I guess. Ah no matter, I can still kill him, just in a vay that's not as much fu-F(REPRODUCE)!"

The Magic 8 Ball had taken the opportunity to jump up and bash Russia in the gut while he was caught up in a monologue.

"Vhy you little-! You know vhat? I've had just about enough of this."

Russia grabbed his MP-443 Grach and took a shot at the center of the 8 ball. Sweden tried to dodge but the bullet still grazed him in the side. Blue dye and black plastic flew into the air as the blast blew away about a third of Sweden's sphere-shaped prison. He shot the barrel of Russia's pistol so it fused and couldn't fire again, but Sweden knew disarming him wasn't going to be enough pretty soon. Sweden's seconds were slipping away.

Please, Sweden pleaded silently with the narrator, let fridge logic work for me one last time. Let me have the power to destroy the one who wants to harm Finland. Let me die in a manner that allows m' wife to keep living.

Request granted. As you all likely know, eight balls are round, black and shiny. Cartoon bombs are also round, black and shiny.

Therefore

Magic 8 Ball = Secret ultra-powered explosive

Thanks. Sweden started rolling towards Russia. As his velocity increased his mind filled with the image of the last view he'd had of his wife, calling to him as he climbed through the window.

Good thing I messaged his friend to come pick him up. After escaping from the heavy metal box, Sweden had found Russia's computer with a blank email to Estonia open on the desktop.

Convenient. He'd then used his laser vision to type a message. It was a it vague since he could only use each key once, but he was pretty sure Estonia was smart enough to figure out the gist of what

HELP FINAD!

was supposed to mean.

M' wife will be okay, Sweden thought as he was centimeters away from a collision with Russia. That's all that matters.

M' wife…

The small sphere crashed into Russia's ankle and exploded into an enormous fireball that instantly consumed Russia, his soldiers, the prison and all the backup furbies therein.

Logically, a small plastic sphere would not have been able to take on all the forces of Russia all on its own. But it needed to do so in order to save its love.

And love, in its highest form, beats out logic

every

single

time.

Don't kill the narrator. The story isn't over yet. I told you the ending would be happy and I will keep my promise. Just trust me.