A/N: Guess what, guys? Study leave has begun! I can now have sleep while I do exams! *praises Jesus*

So, I don't know why, but last chapter, FF was not sending out notifications. -_- Irritation. So after an entire day of no reviews appearing in my inbox, I was like "NO, IT MUST HAVE BEEN AWFUL!" but then I thought I might as well check the stats on FF itself, and I had some, so I was happy. It still annoys me that there was a malfunction, though. Does anyone know why? O.o

I'm not completely sure what happens in this chapter, because I wrote this ages ago...but there is fluff...at some point. XD Okay, I'll skim the chapter. We have: fluff, Matt and Light and Pissed!Mello. :) Happy times.

Considering FF decided to delay the notifications, there was a great response to the last chapter! My heroes are as follows:

mxmsupporter

Pinjaoncrack

utb

anicalaver4

CatatonicVanity

SkyiMello, who was the WINNER of the oneshot competition! Congratulations! I know I said I probably wouldn't upload it for a while, but I actually already have an idea...don't get your hopes up too much, though. XD

Rainbow Fruit Loop

mr. eff

Mahlerman

and TheTakahashiTwins! Thanks you much, you guys, you make my life! :)

Disclaimer: I am broke. I obviously don't own Death Note.

Chapter 16: Turbulence

Mello opened his eyes and smiled. A poignant sense of déjà vu hit him as he remembered the last time he'd seen Matt with such a peaceful expression on his sleeping face, no nightmares in sight for once. Though admittedly, their current location was infinitely more comfortable than the armchair had been, even disregarding the accursed blocked nose he'd had at the time.

On the subject of comfort... Mello thought as he shifted around slightly. His legs appeared to be stuck together. He glanced under the duvet.

Oh. Trousers.

He'd forgotten they'd gone to sleep in their clothes.

That thought brought all the other memories from the night before rushing back, stunning Mello with their intensity. The too-clear images of flushed skin and darkened eyes had him squirming in heightened discomfort against his clothes.

There was no doubt as to whether he enjoyed such activities with Matt; he could barely restrain himself from leaning over and recreating them all over again. But the whole arrangement they were following...it made Mello feel guilty. He had no right to restrict Matt in such a way, and if he were an honourable person, he'd lie and tell Matt there was no way the redhead's feelings would ever be reciprocated and leave, allowing Matt to live a fulfilling, normal life.

However, Mello was not an honourable person (on the contrary, Plato's philosophy about man's egoistic nature was his main proverb), and was all too happy to do what benefited him, as long as there were no complaints from people of importance. Matt was his most important person ever, and he certainly wasn't complaining; Mello could see from the blissful expression on the redhead's face that being with him made Matt happier than was imaginable.

But still...

Mello wondered when he was going to fall in love with Matt – when, not if. It was only a matter of time, but Mello wasn't certain as to how much.

He didn't feel like he had a long way to go, but how would he know? His heart had always been closed off, and to open it now would be a Herculean feat. Even so, Mello was sure he'd be able to do it, someday, provided Matt stayed with him for however long it took.

The thought brought yet another stab of guilt to Mello's heart. He felt dirty, taking so much without giving, but there was really nothing else he could do, short of releasing Matt of his presence entirely. And if there was one thing Mello was sure of, it was that he was definitely not strong enough to give up the single person he'd learnt to trust during the entirety of his miserable life.

He wondered whether Matt felt the same towards him, and concluded it was probably so. The redhead evidently felt the same baffling attachment to Mello as the blond felt towards Matt, and had been proven to worry about him the same way Mello worried over the redhead when he was anywhere near danger.

Mello decided that he alone held some darker feelings involving his partner: he was possessive and hatefully jealous of any others who were close to him. That was probably why he'd never really liked the Light kid, Mello realised – the youth had connected with Matt much faster than Mello himself initially had. Despite that, Mello theorised with glee, it was likely that the connection between himself and Matt was to be far longer-lasting than that between Matt and Light. It had been forged during strife and danger, forcing them to trust each other fully, and cementing their bond much more firmly than any other. Mello was sure it would pass the test of time. The blond realised with slight surprise that he could easily see himself together with Matt far into the future: ten years, fifteen years...

Mello's musings trailed off as a single, overwhelming notion entered his mind. He thought back to his time at Wammy's, reading in the library to pass the numerous rainy days, the countless novels he had read with description of feelings of amour.

Mello swallowed, his eyes flickering back to the obliviously slumbering soul next to him.

Could it be...?

"So, now that we've sent Gevanni to scout out the warehouses, what should we do?" asked Matt cheerfully. He'd had a brilliant night's sleep the night before, a thing which only ever seemed to occur when he was next to Mello.

Matt's green eyes darted back to his friend, taking in the pensive, introspective expression on the stunning (if marred) face. Mello had been distant today, greeting him with a murmured "hey" and an all-too-brief peck on the lips when Matt had woken.

Matt wondered whether Mello was getting tired of him already. The thought made his heart hurt so much it felt like it was bleeding. Nevertheless, he hid it well, keeping his grin in place and praising God for inventing goggles.

Indeed, it seemed everyone was in a strange mood today. Light, usually civil and calm, was chewing on his lip, and the state of his hair implied that the youth had forgotten to comb it that morning. The mere possibility of that made Matt shiver at the thought of whatever Light must be going through.

L was unusually unresponsive today, absently chewing on a piece of liquorice and leaving Matt's question unanswered, which both perplexed and irritated the redhead. He knew he wasn't as much of an irreplaceable component of the team as the rest of them, but L could at least try to acknowledge him, even if Matt's questions did seem obvious to the genius.

Near was the one who was most different, though, yet at the same time not different at all. Matt couldn't help but get the feeling that the boy's usually placid, calm thoughts were now in turmoil, tearing at his brain from the inside. And yet, Near was as blank as ever, not a trace of emotion showing on his face or in his voice. However, the turmoil did show: Near was constantly distracted, seemingly unable to play with his usual toys, and, most noticeably, he had failed to greet anyone upon their entry into the investigation room. In a way, that was what worried Matt most.

Matt speculated as to whether the case was straining his team mates. He wouldn't be surprised if that was the case with normal people, but everyone in the room, L and Near especially, just seemed so...untouchable, emotionally. They had most probably faced cases like this before, except for perhaps Light, and they would have been far more challenging ones than this.

He knew for a fact that Mello, for one, was not at all concerned about the Jouka Case, which only served to make Matt more stressed, at it meant Mello was worrying about something else, and Matt had no idea what that something else was. Even so, the redhead couldn't help but get the feeling that it was something to do with him. Matt tried not to let the thought terrify him.

Pressing though Mello's case was, Light's was probably the most urgent, Matt admitted. The redhead was finally seeing hints of the parts of Light's character that had caused L to take him under his wing and watch him constantly. Mello had been right: Light seemed unstable. And that instability could only mean one thing, Matt thought gloomily.

Light's gonna break... Any day now.

Deciding that it was almost certainly unhealthy to be thinking about such stressful things so early in the morning, Matt asked his previous question again. "So...what should we do now?"

Finally, L seemed to draw himself out of his haze. "I...I believe any further research before Gevanni gets back will be fairly pointless, seeing as all we need to know now is where the children are being hidden. Therefore, we should look over the security tapes again, just to make certain there are no hints as to their location."

Matt nodded, then swiftly grabbed Light's wrist and dragged him over to one of the tape-viewing rooms across the corridor. He caught sight of Mello's slightly hurt look, and pulled a face that he hoped was one of sincere apology and urgency. Ironically, though, the communication was apparently intercepted by his normally useful goggles, and Mello's eyes narrowed in suspicion.

Matt grimaced as he closed the door behind himself and Light. He was going to have some explaining to do that evening.

In the darkness, Matt fumbled for a light switch, found it, and turned it on, momentarily blinding the both of them.

When their eyes adjusted, Light turned to Matt. "What are you doing?" he asked, his eyes suspicious as well.

Matt sighed mentally. Do I just have a face that breeds mistrust?

Out loud, he said. "I want to talk to you. I've been worried."

Light's eyes didn't become any less guarded. "What do you want to talk about?"

Matt slotted a tape into the player and settled onto the sofa to watch the greyscale, flickering room on the screen.

Light remained standing. "Well?" His voice sounded infinitely more brusque than it had when Matt had first met him.

Matt tugged at Light's shirt lightly, prompting the brunet to sit. He did so, but kept a careful distance between himself and Matt. His eyes, too, were trained on the screen.

"What's wrong?" Matt asked quietly, as if afraid to startle his friend.

Light scowled, an expression Matt had never seen on his face before. "What? Nothing's wrong. I'm fine."

"You don't sound fine."

"Well how would you know?!" Light was suddenly furious, his accent becoming more prominent and the volume of his voice making Matt jump.

Matt attempted to calm him. "I'm your friend, and you've been acting really weird these past few days. What is it, Light? Is it something to do with L?"

"No!"

"Then what is it? You can tell me," Matt assured him, abandoning the video and turning to face his friend, so as to analyse his expression with more ease.

Light seemed to hesitate for a second, his eyes locked on the screen and his lip trembling as he debated upon what to say. Then, his eyes glazed over and he stated, "It's nothing. I'm fine."

Matt sighed inaudibly, trying to contain his frustration. He didn't want to make Light angry again. "Please tell me. I might be able to help."

Light snorted in an extremely sarcastic bout of faux-mirth. "I doubt it."

"I can try."

Light's shoulders tensed, and for a horrible moment, Matt thought the brunet was going to hit him. Then, his muscles relaxed and Light slumped over and put his head in his hands. "I don't know what's wrong with me," he rasped out, his voice raw.

Matt waited for elaboration.

"I – I keep having these dreams. Dreams about my past, and it's horrible, and I can't sleep, and L won't leave me alone! He watches me every second of every damn day and I keep thinking that he's going to put those damned handcuffs on me again!"

Matt made to put a hand on Light's shoulder, then thought better of it and said, "I don't think you should worry about L watching you. He is, it's true, but I don't think he's suspicious of you."

"Of course he is!" Light looked up suddenly, eyes tortured. "He's always suspicious of me! It's like he's waiting for me to betray all of you, to go join the enemy and have them hunt you all down."

Matt shook his head. "No, Light, I've seen the way he looks at you, and I think...I think he's even more worried about you than I am."

Light groaned. "Of course he's worried about me! I'm an insane teenager on the verge of snapping, and he's just waiting for me to go crazy and start hacking up people!"

"Light, calm down! You're being ridiculous!" Matt ignored Light's snarl. "L's worried about you, not what you might do! Can't you see? You're thin and pale and sleep-deprived, and L's worrying so much about your health it's nearly sending him round the bend as well! He cares about you, Light," Matt stressed, leaning forward in his enthusiasm.

Light's face suddenly crumpled. "Please don't say that," he whispered, hiding his face again.

Matt blinked, confused by Light's sudden mood swing. "Why not?"

"Because it's not true, and all you're doing is making me hope for something that can never be, and when that hope is crushed, it'll be so much more painful than it would have been if I had never had any in the first place."

"What are you talking about?" Matt asked, perplexed. "What can never be?"

"Don't make me say it," Light begged piteously.

And suddenly Matt understood. He ignored his better judgement and scooted closer to Light, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. Light flinched away at first, but eventually he relaxed again, leaning into Matt's body and hiding his face in Matt's shoulder instead of his own hands.

Matt wound his other arm around Light as well, and held him in an embrace that he had so often wished his mother would hold him in.

"I know how you feel," he whispered softly, his eyes closed. "I really, really know. I felt it too. But you know what? Those fears came to nothing, and the tiny, minuscule amount of hope I did have turned into real happiness. You have to let yourself hope, Light, it'll kill you not to. And yeah, it hurts when hope's crushed, but if it's not – and trust me, no matter what you think, I think the chances of your hope being for something are way higher than not – it's so worth it. I know you have it way worse than I do, but if you don't let yourself have some little light to guide you through the dark, you'll never find your way out. Take a chance, Light. Come on, your mum must have given you that name for a reason. Let yourself be happy." Matt refused to think about the completely separate stress his...arrangement with Mello was causing.

Light's shoulders convulsed, and Matt thought he could feel salt water soaking through his shirt.

"Thank you, Matt." Light's voice was barely audible. "But I don't think I can ever be happy."

Before Matt could protest, the door opened and L stepped in. Whatever he'd been about to say died on his lips and he stood there, frozen in place, a forgotten lollipop in his hand.

Light whipped around to face him. He said something in Japanese that was so fast it was just a blur of syllables, but even Matt could pick up on the harshness of the sentence.

L was silent a moment longer, staring at the damp path on Matt's T-shirt and the lone tear still clinging onto Light's cheek before his face smoothed out into its usual blank mask and he said, "My apologies, but Gevanni has returned earlier than expected."

Light stormed out of the room, wiping his eyes and neatly avoiding any physical contact with the psychologist.

Matt stopped when he reached the doorway, green eyes locking with L's dark ones. "Is he going to be okay?" he asked.

L looked at the floor. "I do not know."

And in that moment, Matt knew for certain that L's concern for Light was of such a magnitude that Matt would never be able to understand.

He left the room.

"I apologise, but I could not get close enough to any of the warehouses to get a good look," Gevanni was saying: formally, and addressing the back wall rather than their group, "There were many people around, and I didn't want to risk being seen by anyone connected to Four-Field or Palm."

"That is fine, Gevanni may leave now," Near stated rather than said, his voice even more detached than usual.

Gevanni saluted and walked briskly out of the sliding doors.

Mello scowled briefly. "Well, that makes things more complicated," he said bitterly. "Now what?"

L thought for a moment. "We could try again at a later date," he said. "A different time, perhaps, when there is less of an audience."

The group (or rather, Mello, Matt and L) debated alternate plans of infiltration, but eventually concluded that L's was the most reasonable idea. Gevanni would be sent out again that night.

"In that case, there is nothing else left to do today," L declared. "You may spend the rest of the day as you wish, provided you do not leave the building."

Matt sighed. He understood the necessity of staying out of sight, but even he, who hated the outdoors with a fiery intensity, was starting to miss the freedom of at least having the option of going outside.

Then he remembered Mello, and his heart started thudding as if it had just run a marathon, outdoors or no outdoors.

Indeed, the adrenalin was needed, for as soon as they stepped out of the lift, Mello grabbed his arm and dragged him into the sitting room, where he flung Matt down on the sofa.

"Well? What was that about?" the blond asked, his eyes glinting menacingly.

Matt feigned innocence. "What was what about?"

Mello's eyes narrowed, reminding Matt of the very first time they'd spoken. "Why'd you go off with that Light kid so eagerly?" Matt could tell Mello was trying his utmost not to sound jealous. Matt could also tell Mello was failing miserably.

"I wanted to talk to him. Light's been acting...off for a while."

Mello snorted. "Like I hadn't noticed."

Matt frowned slightly. "Don't you care at all? He looks like he's going to keel over any day now!"

"Yeah, yeah, I know. He's crazy, these things happen."

"Light is not crazy!" Matt was starting to get annoyed.

"And you are deluded!" Mello shouted back. "He's getting like that because he's ready to snap, and when he does, he'll completely explode, probably try to kill whoever's nearest, and then either stay like that forever or go back to how he used to be. My bet is he'll stay bat-shit."

"Shut up!" Matt screamed.

Mello appeared to be surprised into silence, for once.

"Why are you always so cruel about him?! He can't help his mental state! He's been through so much, and –"

Mello cut in. "Oh yeah? Like what?"

Matt hesitated. "He – uh...his girlfriend, um...died, and..."

Mello sneered. "Oh, I see now, thanks for explaining that to me. I feel so enlightened." Dropping the farce, he said, "You know just as little about his mental state as I do, maybe even less. Don't go running your mouth off about things you don't understand."

Matt clenched his fists. "If you think I'm so ignorant, why do you even hang around? I can see you're getting tired of me already, and it's only been two days since we started...whatever it is we're in now. It's cruel of you to give me hope that we could be together and then just take it away! You're a dickhead, you know that?"

"And what makes you think you know what's going through my head, asshole? What if I'm not getting tired of you?"

Matt paused.

"It's nice to see you have so much trust in me," Mello continued tartly, "It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy to know you're just waiting with baited breath for me to show the slightest signs that I might dump you and leave you to fend for yourself. Inadequately, I might add."

Matt couldn't take it anymore. He got up and walked out of the room, back straight and stiff, and tears smarting in his eyes.

Sorry, Light, he thought morosely. Happiness after hope isn't all I cracked it up to be.

He cried himself to sleep.

At one o'clock in the morning, Mello was awoken by the opening of his door. Though one couldn't really call it 'awakening' if one hadn't been sleeping. And one couldn't really call it 'opening' if the door had been open the whole time, either.

"Mello?" Matt's voice whispered in the dark.

"Mm?" Mello answered, not turning around.

"I had a nightmare."

Without a word, Mello lifted his duvet, allowing Matt to crawl in underneath it. The redhead kept a respectful distance between their bodies, but Mello rolled over and embraced him, finally relaxing into Matt's unique scent.

Matt hugged him back, so tightly it almost hurt. "I didn't mean it," he whispered.

Mello kissed him tenderly. He hadn't meant it either.

Jealousy was a frightening thing.

A/N: Is it really stupid that I'm annoyed at Mello for not apologising, even though I wrote all that? Seriously, he's so mean to Matt! Not to mention Light! *huffs*

Anyway, pointless rant over. This chapter was a little bit of an emotional rollercoaster...THE FEELS ARE GOING EVERYWHERE! Ah, well. Tell me if you liked this chapter, or not, and see you next time! XD